Excuse me sir, if I inquire, but isn't that your house on fire? Well maybe not, but if it were, I mean, suppose fire did occur? What would you do? How would you act to keep your family intact? <can't remember the next bit> If in there you start to choke, lie on the floor where there's less smoke or lean out of the window where there's likely to be cleaner air. But if it gets too bad to stay, your last resort - a getaway. Do all you can to break your fall with cushions, mattresses and all, then lower yourself gently towards the ground for choice, where soft earth can be found. <I think there are a couple of lines in here I can't remember> These rules could save your life, so heed them! Although we hope you'll never need them.
― aldo, Friday, 22 June 2007 12:23 (5 years ago) Permalink
I am clearly the only person who noticed that the main kid from "Apaches" was named Daniel Perry.
*shudder*
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 12:24 (5 years ago) Permalink
Is Apaches the shite-pit-pie-crust-ain't-as-strong-as-it-looks one?
― NickB, Friday, 22 June 2007 12:35 (5 years ago) Permalink
It's more the tractor-tires-are-heavy, fences-around-shit-pits-are-slippery, drinking-stuff-from-barn-bottles-is-bad, iron-fences-are-heavy, tractors-like-to-roll-off-the-road one.
― HI DERE, Friday, 22 June 2007 12:39 (5 years ago) Permalink
Oh, that one
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 12:40 (5 years ago) Permalink
OMG the tractor one - that is some real Sopranos shit right there.
― milo z, Friday, 22 June 2007 12:47 (5 years ago) Permalink
dying in a pool of cow shit: worst death ever OR worst. death. ever.
― milo z, Friday, 22 June 2007 12:49 (5 years ago) Permalink
But I remember some more enjoyable films... like the one about how you should keep over to the left on country bends, in which this country and western band drove around in an open topped car singing about how you should keep over to the left on country bends.
Is that the one about single track roads? I drove Mister M up the wall singing that song when we drove around Pembrokeshire a couple of years ago. There I was, flashing my flasher, putting on my brakes, and pulling right in to that passing space, all the while thanking my lucky stars that I was on holiday.
― accentmonkey, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:05 (5 years ago) Permalink
"never go parking in a passing place/someone might need that yard of space"
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:37 (5 years ago) Permalink
Before I click on the links, are these for real (4REAL!)?
Absolutely, you can even enjoy them on dvd.
― Billy Dods, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:43 (5 years ago) Permalink
But I bet they don't have the horrible ones on there!
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 13:44 (5 years ago) Permalink
Just watched the dark and lonely water, still seems as terrifying as when I saw it 30+ years ago.
Some people seem to miss the point though.
steerpike66 (3 days ago) Marked as spam Lovely. Such a blast from the past; kids today never get the chance to be menaced by Donald Pleasance because they're all inside playing on their Wii. or on stupid fucking 'play-dates' organized by control-freak parents.
― Billy Dods, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:47 (5 years ago) Permalink
I'm intrigued as to what 'Splink' presented by Jon Pertwee might be.
― chap, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:50 (5 years ago) Permalink
Road safety, innit
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 13:50 (5 years ago) Permalink
Don't splink and drive and all that.
― NickB, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:51 (5 years ago) Permalink
I remember one called 'Bobby' or 'Billy' about some guy who played on a railway line and got electrocuted (but didn't die); anyone else see that one?
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:55 (5 years ago) Permalink
These are fantastic (and while I can see the horror for a kid watching them as an adult they are really funny.) As I said to my friend when I emailed her the "Apache" link it's like a freaky cross between 7UP, Final Destination and All Creatures Great & Small! And the little dedication at the end is makes me think of the Afterword to A Scanner Darkly!
― Alex in SF, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:59 (5 years ago) Permalink
The scrolling list of kids killed by farms at the end was really WOAH because the first batch of names looked like they were involved in the same incident and when they got to the "a bazillion children were murdered by tractors" part I went "OH COME THE FUCK ON" before I stopped being a dumbass.
Also WTF at the kid in the dedication who blew up on a farm.
― HI DERE, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:16 (5 years ago) Permalink
When I look at them now, I can't help thinking that they were surely just a scheme for getting work for the people who made them--a way of spending government money on the film industry film without the broke-ass public going berserk about it.
But perhaps I'm overthinking it.
― accentmonkey, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:16 (5 years ago) Permalink
Aaaaaaargghh, I wish I could see this!
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 14:17 (5 years ago) Permalink
How does the penultimate kid die? He seems to jump into a puddle and then the scene cuts to a tractor. How does that work?
Also, drowning in shit = ;_;
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:20 (5 years ago) Permalink
(SPOILER alert, obv.)
And the little dedication at the end is makes me think of the Afterword to A Scanner Darkly!
Wow, I never thought of that! You're right!
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:22 (5 years ago) Permalink
-- Billy Dods, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:47 (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
I read that one as well. I figured the reason why the parents are control freaks is that they saw all these films when they were children.
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:24 (5 years ago) Permalink
don't live before you've died etc etc etc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWb5UhdMHvw&NR=1
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:25 (5 years ago) Permalink
*die before you've lived even
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:26 (5 years ago) Permalink
things are so much better, now we terrorize children in person
Teachers stage fake gunman attack on sixth-graders aka what the hell is wrong with people
in the future we'll just pick a few kids off to teach the others a lesson
― Edward III, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:26 (5 years ago) Permalink
SPOILERS
kid 1: run over by tractor kid 2: drowns in shit kid 3: drinks poison kid 4: crushed by gate kid 5: rides tractor off a cliff kid 6: still alive, is all sadface at the wake
― HI DERE, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:33 (5 years ago) Permalink
there's an interesting psychological component to adults who deal with their fear of mortality by traumatizing children. cruelty beneath a veil of saintly protective benevolence.
my favorites were the drug abuse ones they showed us in grade school - grimy clips of seedy people vomiting in stairwells and police photos of o.d. victims.
― Edward III, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:34 (5 years ago) Permalink
We were shown photos of someone who had gone so OTT in their glue-sniffing that they'd covered their face entirely in glue, blocking all their breathing passages, and in desperation had attempted to perform an impromptu tracheotomy upon themselves using only their NAILS.
It's still quite possibly the most sobering thing I've ever seen.
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:36 (5 years ago) Permalink
Oh balls to that, glue sniffing is much more fun that, spoilsports
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 14:37 (5 years ago) Permalink
Slightly dissapointed that no-one from the US has mentioned RED ASPHALT and it's ilk yet, apart from the (v funny) simpsons spoof on drivers ed films that tracer posted. We NEVER got shown anything that heavy.
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:40 (5 years ago) Permalink
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyG6NIgpzBM&NR=1
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:41 (5 years ago) Permalink
It's still quite possibly the most sobering thing I've ever seen./
YSI?
― onimo, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:42 (5 years ago) Permalink
There was this horrifying prom-based one they showed to our driver's ed class that was basically a completely normal "we're going to the prom!" shitty short right up until the ginormous drunk driving accident.
― HI DERE, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:56 (5 years ago) Permalink
by the way Dubliners, I have a DVD of public information films if anyone wants to become too terrified to do anything.
― The Real Dirty Vicar, Friday, 22 June 2007 15:48 (5 years ago) Permalink
Dan there are current, snazzy public service ads in the UK that use that same formula to very chastening effect.
my junior-high health class was shown slides of venereal warts, etc. that freaked us all right out. Our teacher ("Coach K") said that if anyone laughed, or even tittered, we would get sent straight to the principal's office. (None of us felt like laughing though.)
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 22 June 2007 15:57 (5 years ago) Permalink
We watched a documentary on herpes that included extreme close-ups of herpes breakouts. It was beyond gross.
― HI DERE, Friday, 22 June 2007 15:59 (5 years ago) Permalink
"veal and ham pie...my favourite"
― J0hn D., Friday, 22 June 2007 15:59 (5 years ago) Permalink
when I was a senior in high school, we got a live action version of these - they set up a crashed car, dead dummies, 'blood' all over the ground, brought in EMTs and a CareFlight helicopter, played sound effects of the screeching/crashing and moans. It was awesome.
― milo z, Friday, 22 June 2007 16:01 (5 years ago) Permalink
None of the VD films on youtube are as gross as I hoped.
My Mum's friend's son drowned in a slurry pit when I was small. I still remember her crying on the phone when she found out.
― Madchen, Friday, 22 June 2007 16:11 (5 years ago) Permalink
Good grief.
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 16:21 (5 years ago) Permalink
I love the Minnesota Twins shirt on that motorbike guy.
The prom one may have been The Last Prom.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=br49e1xOwVA
― Eric H., Friday, 22 June 2007 17:09 (5 years ago) Permalink
These are all really some of the best films ever made.
― Eric H., Friday, 22 June 2007 17:11 (5 years ago) Permalink
Pay Attention, Britain!
Sat 29 Mar, 2:50 am - 3:30 am 40mins
To mark the 60th anniversary of the Central Office of Information, Fi Glover narrates the story of the British public information film.
Subtitles Stereo Widescreen
― koogs, Friday, 28 March 2008 15:01 (5 years ago) Permalink
aw, fucking hell! magnificent. er, what channel would that be? :)
missed this thread first time round ... anyway, "Panning shot through burned out house w/echoing voices of frightened children. Thus proving that giving matches to the very young is not a good idea" chilled me to the fucking bones when i was a kid, and i'm really quite glad that, when i clicked to watch it there, it had been "removed due to terms-of-use violation". whew.
i have a lengthy DVD of PIFs, and also -- yes -- "protect and survive" on VHS. i love this shit. even though it makes my soul go cold.
i have, however, never seen apaches. indeed: i'd never even heard of it. hmm: it's quarter to one on a saturday morning and mrs fiendish is watching season one of "medium" on DVD. now might be my time ...
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 00:44 (5 years ago) Permalink
note to other late-night PIF-liking UK ilx0rs: BBC2.
the one i always remember, but only ever saw once, was a "be careful with petrol on boats!" kind of thing, where a dude in the middle of the ocean tried to top up his outboard motor while lighting a fag.
i seem to recall the mother of all explosions; they had to pan back several miles [1] to get the whole thing in.
[1] adjust for exaggeration to suit.
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 00:49 (5 years ago) Permalink
hmm. 10 minutes into apaches, i'm not gripped. "threads" it ain't. just scrotes, scroting.
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:01 (5 years ago) Permalink
OOOOH, shit. kid in slurry pit. the bubbles are an unpleasantly grim touch.
ok, yeh, this is dark as all hell.
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:02 (5 years ago) Permalink
― Feebs K-Tel (NickB), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 22:17 (1 year ago) Permalink
Slurry seems to be the hardest word
― contreatable logorrhea (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 22:17 (1 year ago) Permalink
jesus those pics made my skin crawl
― (thinks and smiles) (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 22:18 (1 year ago) Permalink
In Ireland these days they have moved from existential dread to gore in public information films (or advertisements as they call them these days). So we have had a number of ones for various aspects of car safety stuff ("Fasten your seatbelt you moron!", "Turn off your mobile phone, you stupid bitch!", and "For fuck's sake what made you think that driving after a feed of pints would be a good idea?" etc.) that show people being graphically mashed by out of control vehicles. They annoy me.
― The New Dirty Vicar, Thursday, 23 February 2012 17:57 (1 year ago) Permalink
Wish I knew what some of Pashmina's broken links up there were.
― beachville, Thursday, 23 February 2012 17:58 (1 year ago) Permalink
I remember a lecturer talking about how gross-out public information films are not that effective at changing behaviour. He was talking about when he was in the army, they made the soldiers watch an in-your-face film about the horrors of veneral disease (as they then called it). It was very shocking, he said, and they were all talking about it on the way down to the brothel.
― The New Dirty Vicar, Thursday, 23 February 2012 18:00 (1 year ago) Permalink
No one ever posted those Canadian "prevent it" ads?
― dead-trius (Eric H.), Thursday, 23 February 2012 18:03 (1 year ago) Permalink
They're on some other thread. I think about that one all the time.
― beachville, Thursday, 23 February 2012 18:10 (1 year ago) Permalink
God, this has been nagging me for a few days now. I can sort of remember an American PSA from the early 1980s, featuring a burnt-out building and narrated by a cartoon cricket. I don't know whether it was for smoking safety, lighter safety, or smoke alarms, but I feel like it had to be one of those. I've already scoped out the various Cricket Lighter commercials on youtube. Would be happy to just have confirmation that something like this existed.
― beachville, Friday, 2 March 2012 10:09 (1 year ago) Permalink
damn, came on this thread via the horror film poll and now i'm looking at horrible public safety ads. as if i didnt have a hard enough time falling asleep.
― Jibe, Tuesday, 17 April 2012 15:13 (1 year ago) Permalink
I'll repeat my request for info/confirmation on the PSA I mentioned above.
― beachville, Tuesday, 17 April 2012 15:33 (1 year ago) Permalink
This was always a fave -
― BlackIronPrison, Tuesday, 17 April 2012 15:45 (1 year ago) Permalink