Chicago: Sweetness, Studs, Sneed & Kogan

May 16 2007 10:54P

Your mouth is like a pussy for crab. Pounds and pounds of crab.

I'm not sure who has more idiotic looking hair:

David Fricke or Ken Burns:
http://www.nndb.com/people/284/000025209/ken-burns-3.jpg

I am now imagining a still shot of that haircut, being slowly panned across with period-appropriate music.

What, like music for 3-year olds?

Perhaps "Mongoloid" by Devo.

Ok someone just sent me this as ad copy:

Do nothing. Do everything. Do it all where azure, indigo, sky, royal, sapphire and turquoise are just a few of the many shades that describe the ever changing mood of the Caribbean Sea that laps at the edge of Belize's coastline.

I started reading that sentence with puzzlement, and by the time I was done I was laughing out loud.

The next paragraph reads:

This quaint nation invites you to experience adventure, feel the soothing peace of its endless shorelines, and take all that this Central American gem warmly offers. Get a taste of wonder as you visit picturesque rivers and cascading waterfalls winding from the Mayan ruins to the Caribbean Sea.

I mean, MY FUCKING GOD, DO WE JUST HAND OUT COLLEGE DEGREES LIKE CANDY AROUND HERE?

Oh come on. It could be so much worse. You're so easily appalled!

Soothing peace. Because the other kind of peace just gets on your nerves.

"quaint nation"

"gem warmly offers"

"shades that describe the ever changing mood"

I just ate two soft-shell crabs.

"Quaint nation" bothers me the most.

Madonna's song "La Isla Bonita" has a line that says of the residents of the exotic beautiful Latin isla, "beautiful faces, no cares in the world" and it bugs me for the same reason that phrase does: it's not a simple place without problems and a fully-fledged culture all its own, you douchebags.

They have softshells at my work, and AGAIN I tried to learn to like them, but I just can't. They're weird and rubbery and --- just nononononononononNONONO.

How do they serve them?

Oh, Amandahugandtokiss, I am currently downloading Current 93.

If anyone else has some good recommendations for music that you think I might like, please suggest away. I particularly want background train noise music. Reading music.

How do they serve them?

Dusted in flour and sauteed. The sauce is either a meuniere butter or brown sugar szechaun glaze. I have tried them elsewhere deep fried and it was basically the same thing. I can eat a spider roll, but that's because it gets all mixed in with the rice and seaweed.

Jesse: Don't miss the Christian Fennesz/Ryuichi Sakamoto record.

Maybe you'd like it better on a sandwich? With mayo & hot sauce?

I didn't say it wasn't BAD, but it's ad copy ffs. Not something to become outraged about.

Jesse, I hope you like it. If you don't I'll try to make up for it in some way.

As far as reading music goes, I like Discreet Music the best of all time and also Derek Bailey's Ballads.

Jesse OTM about "quaint nation." Amanda OTM about it being ad copy.

Hi. I am eating mac and cheese. I spent the morning reading about and researching all-time records in the NBA. Then I g-chatted with an old college roommate whose wife is having a baby in two months.

Also, if no one is busy tomorrow night, C*n*st* is playing at Subterranean for Br*ght*n M*'s record release show. It should be a great show.

Just because it's ad copy doesn't mean it shouldn't be bad. That like this guy I knew in college, who when we were watching a particularly awful movie, I'd bitch or groan and he'd say to me, "IT'S A MOVIE!" As if there's no such thing as a good movie.

Tell me about some awesome ad copy you've read.

All I require is that it doesn't make the writer look like a complete fool, which the above ad copy does.

ok but if the writer doesn't feel like a fool, why should you care?

people produce stupid, shitty things all the time. you can't possibly be outraged about all of them.

I'm editing a translation of a conference call from an Italian utility and waste management company.

Maybe I care because it's my job to? Jesus, you're making it sound like I'm some nut. That is some rank-ass copy, that's all I'm saying.

Oh come on. You're a nut.

hey, are people going out somewhere this evening? don't you guys normally have drinks on thursdays? i played some pick up soccer with mattttt yesterday, that was pretty fun, even though there were probably 40 people playing in this one game.

i am going out because tomorrow is my last day of work and it would seem wrong somehow if i didn't show up late and hungover.

word!

i probably won't be going out until later, email me if you want. the address i have through ilx is correct.

As far as that ad copy, it seems kind of like Smoove B's seductions: ridiculous to you and me, but it might be exactly what some other daydreamer wants to read (and read out loud to their spouse/sibling/friend) when thinking of a Tropical Isle Destination.

There is good copy and bad. And I agree that that is pretty bad. It reads like a first draft. If it's not then I can understand pointing out that it stinks, though outrage is perhaps an overreaction.

After posting what I did, I soon regretted it. But I still think that "quaint nation" needs to go.

My favorite advertising work is the Heinz Ketchup bottles with the funny messages. And the TV ads with the deadpan voiceover talking about things like the last of the ketchup that stays inside the bottle, analyzing it, and finally coming to the conclusion, "Heinz Ketchup: it has issues."

Ohhh, "labial veneer porcelain" refers to dentistry work. I was confused.

(I came across this phrase at work)

no comment

Sometimes I think people post things just to test me.

ha

I study to William Baskinski.

That Current 93 sounds very interesting. The only version of Idumea I have ever heard is the shape-note one they use in Cold Mountain and boy is it creepy. I'm pretty sure it's about the apocalypse.
I would like to try softshells, I've only had Maryland crabs (so tasty) and Cromer crab (so disappointing).

KING CRAB ALL THE WAY.

Wow. Looks like we're in for a some heavy weather.

it's welcome. It's too hot today.

Where the fuck are these bleedin storms?

Hey, I saw Bug tonight. Being only one of two people in the theater made it creepier. Great actors, all five of 'em. Harry Connick is fantastic. I bet it'll be at the Brew 'n' View before the end of the month.

poor Friedkin. He deserves more audience than that.

Chicago: Fake Meat Is Almost As Good