Correcting someone who's repeating an urban legend as something that "really happened": c or d?

Man, I'd be happy if someone said that to me. Pure comedy.

i've spent years trying to get parents and relatives to be properly afraid of the internet, to limited success.

I was at a UNC lecture the other day where they played a video of Oliver North during the Iran-Contra deals during the Reagan administration. I was only 14 back then but was surprised by this particular clip. There was Olie in front of God and Country getting the third degree. But what he said stunned me. He was being drilled by some senator I didn't recognize who asked him:

'Did you not recently spend close to $60,000 for a home security system?'

Oliver replied, 'Yes I did sir.'

The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience, 'Isn't this just a little excessive?'

'No sir,' continued Oliver.

'No. And why not?'

'Because the life of my family and I were threatened.'

'Threatened? By who.'

'By a terrorist, sir.'

'Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?'

'His name is Osama bin Laden.'

At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued.

'Why are you so afraid of this man?'

'Because sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of.'

'And what do you recommend we do about him?'

'If it were me I would recommend an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth.'

The senator disagreed with this approach and that was all they showed of the clip.

It's scary when you think 15 years ago the government was aware of Osama bin Laden and his potential threat to the security of the world. I guess like all great tyrants they start small but if left untended spread like the virus they truly are.

Verse from none other than the Koran.
Prophetic?

A verse from Muslim teachings.

Koran Chapter 9 Verse 11 -- For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.

(Note the number of the section)

THE FOLLOWING LETTER WAS WRITTEN BY STEVEN SPIELBERG

Please forward if you agree...........

August 1st 2006

Dear Mr. Gibson,

I am one Jew who doesn't accept your apology today.

I don't accept it, because you have spit on the graves
of the Goldwyns, the Warners, the Mayers, the Cohns,
the Foxes, the Thalbergs, the Selznicks, the Zukors
and the thousands of other Jews both living and dead
who have made your questionable career possible.

When you do get out of "rehab" and recount your
millions, please consider how much of your fortune you
would have if you had made your true feelings known,
when you were starting out in the film industry.

You are a despicable human being, one that doesn't
even have the sense to realize that he has repeatedly
bitten the hand that fed him. Whatever you (or your
publicity agents) say today, does not even begin to
redress your long standing theories about the Jewish
people. Apparently the apple does not fall far from
the tree. If you haven't yet distanced yourself from
your father's views of the Holocaust, why should the
Jewish community meet with you, or believe anything
you have to say now.

Your words are a thinly veiled attempt to admit that
you really messed up this time, and you want to cover
yourself, so that you can continue to be adored and
further your revenue stream.

The truth is, you are an unreformed, unrepentant anti
semite of the worst kind, and your hollow outreach is
worth less than the price of your next drink, which
will surely find itself in your hands before long. I'm
buying.

Of course, if I am wrong, you could start by donating
$1,000,000 today to the State of Israel in her time of
need.

Surely that is a small public relations price to pay
for a man of your stature who "honors all of God's
children".

Steven Spielberg
New Rochelle, NY

lol

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
- John F. Kerry

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- John F. Kerry

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
- John F. Kerry

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
- John F. Kerry

"The future will be better tomorrow."
- John F. Kerry

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
- John F. Kerry

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- John F. Kerry

"We have a firm commitment to NATO. We are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
- John F. Kerry

"Public speaking is very easy."
- John F. Kerry

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
- John F. Kerry

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- John F. Kerry

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- John F. Kerry

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
- John F. Kerry

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- John F. Kerry

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- John F. Kerry

All Quayle or pseudo-Quayle, with one paraphrase of something GWB said.

Today here at the office we had a patient who came in who is a 9-1-1 operator. She said that calls are coming in like crazy over the past 2 weeks with carjackings! (right around the time we have had this influx of new residents!)

You won't hear this on the news as the media will not let this out.... But I did hear on Fox News this morning that there are 4,500 sex offenders that were let out of prison in New Orleans that have NOT re-registered! All the communities who have taken in these folks are now at risk.

The purpose of this email is to put all of you on ALERT! Lock your car doors the minute you get in. Keep your homes locked. This is not the same community we had 2 weeks ago. Hopefully things will get back to normal but be AWARE!

Please let others know about this, as I would feel horrible if something happened to one of my friends or family members and I had this! knowledge.

Be Safe!

hahaha. i love the structure of this, putting it exactly like a Paul Harvey anecdote, even with the pause. They need to work a bit on getting the sing-songy vibe in there.

I'M Paul HARvey, good DAY!

Everyone knows the 7-Eleven convenience store chain. They are EVERYWHERE, in every city and small town in the USA. In large metropolitan areas, they are sometimes only a few blocks apart. Anyone who has shopped in a 7-Eleven knows that they are owned predominantly by people of middle-eastern origin; in fact, the parent company of the franchise (7-Eleven Limited Partnership) is owned by a group with ties to Osama bin Laden.

Every single 7-Eleven store has been instructed to unleash attacks on their surrounding neighborhoods. This includes blowing up the stores themselves, possibly using 'dirty' nuclear bombs as well as conventional explosives, as well as outright assaults on the American people. This will cause a major disruption in ALL major American cities. If you live near a 7-Eleven, please be aware of this danger.

You are urged to boycott all 7-Eleven stores to keep yourself and your families safe from the terrorists.

Please pass this email on to any and every person you know, you may just save a life or two.

errrr, hang on this isn't an urban myth. it happened. shockingly the full story was simplified in the retelling, but same goes for everything.

-- and what (an...), Today 11:44 AM. (ooo) (later)

i was talking about this:

I thought I might inform the few friends I have on my recent traumatic experience. I am going to tell it straight, blunt, raw, and I don't give a damn. Long read, I know but please do read!

I went to volunteer on Saturday at the George R. Brown convention for two reasons.

A: I wanted to help people to get a warm fuzzy.
B: Curiosity.

I've been watching the news lately and have seen scenes that have made me want to vomit. And no it wasn't dead bodies, the city under water, or the sludge everywhere. It was PEOPLE'S BEHAVIOR. The people on T.V. (99% being Black) were DEMANDING help. They were not asking nicely but demanding as if society owed these people something. Well the honest truth is WE DON'T.

Help should be asked for in a kind manner and then appreciated. This is not what the press (FOX in particular) was showing, what I was seeing was a group of people who are yelling, demanding, looting, killing, raping, and SHOOTING back at the demanded help! So I'm thinking this can't possibly be true can it? So I decide to submit to the DEMAND for help out of SHOCK. I couldn't believe this to be true of the majority of the people who are the weakest of society. So I went to volunteer and help folks out and see the truth. So I will tell the following story and you decide:

I arrived at the astrodome only to find out that there are too many volunteers and that volunteers were needed at the George R. Brown Convention Center. As I was walking up to the Convention Center I noticed a line of cars that wrapped around blocks filled with donations. These were ordinary Houstonians coming with truckloads and trunks full of water, diapers, clothes, blankets, food, all types of good stuff. And lots of it was NEW. I felt that warm fuzzy while helping unload these vehicles of these wonderful human beings. I then went inside the building and noticed approximately 100,000 sq. ft. of clothes, shoes, jackets, toys and all types of goodies all organized and ready for the people in need. I signed up, received a name badge and was on my merry way excited to be useful.

I toured the place to get familiar with my surrounding; the entire place is probably around 2 million sq. ft. I noticed rows as far as the eye can see of mattresses, not cots, BLOW UP MATTRESSES! All of which had nice pillows and plenty of blankets. 2 to 3 bottles of water lay on every bed. These full size to queen size beds by the way were comfortable, I laid on one to see for myself. I went to look at the medical area. I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing! A makeshift hospital created in 24 hours! It was unbelievable, they even had a pharmacy. I also noticed that they created showers, which would also have hot water. I went upstairs to the third floor to find a HUGE cafeteria created in under 24 hours! Rows of tables, chairs and food everywhere - enough to feed an army! I'm not talking about crap food either. They had Jason's Deli food, apples, oranges, coke, diet coke, lemonade, orange juice, cookies, all types of chips and sandwiches. All the beverages by the way was put on ice and chilled! In a matter of about 24 hours or less an entire mini-city was erected by volunteers for the poor evacuees. This was not your rundown crap shelter, it was BUM HEAVEN.

So that was the layout: great food, comfy beds, clean showers, free medical help, by the way there was a library, and a theatre room I forgot to mention. Great stuff right?

Well here is what happened on my journey -

I started by handing out COLD water bottles to evacuees as they got off the bus. Many would take them and only 20% or less said thank you. Lots of them would shake their heads and ask for sodas! So this went on for about 20-30 minutes until I was sick of being an unappreciated servant. I figured certainly these folks would appreciate some food! So I went upstairs to serve these beloved evacuees some GOOD food that I wish I could have at the moment!

The following statements are graphic, truthful, and discuss UNRATIONAL behavior. Evacuees come slowly to receive this mountain of food that is worth serving to a king! I tell them that we have 2 types of great deli sandwiches to choose from - ham and turkey. Many look at the food in disgust and DEMAND burgers, pizza, and even McDonalds! Jason's deli is better than McDonalds! Only 1 out of ten people who took something would say "thank you" the rest took items as if it was their God give right to be served without a shred of appreciation! They would ask for beer and liquor.

They complained that we didn't have good enough food. They refused food and laughed at us. They treated us volunteers as if we where SLAVES. No not all of them of course... but 70% did! 20% where appreciative, 10% took the food without any comment and the other 70% had some disgusting comment to say. Some had the nerve to laugh at us. And when I snapped back at them for being mean, they would curse at me! Needless to say I was in utter shock.

They would eat their food and leave their mess on the table... some would pick up their stuff, many would leave it for the volunteers to pick up. I left that real quick to go down and help set up some more beds. I saw many young ladies carrying mattresses and I helped for a while. Then I realized something... there were hundreds of able bodied young men who could help! I asked a group of young evacuees in their teens and early twenties to help.

I got cursed at for asking them to help! One said "We just lost our ****ing homes and you want us to work!" The next said "Ya Cracker, you got a home we don't" I looked at them in disbelief. Here are women walking by carrying THEIR ****ING BEDS and they can't lift a finger and help themselves!

WHY THE **** SHOULD I HELP PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO HELP THEMESELVES!

I waved them off and turned away and was laughed at and more "white boy jokes" where made at me. I felt no need to waste my breath on a bunch of pitiful losers. I went to a nearby restroom where I noticed a man shaving.

I used the restroom, washed my hands and saw this man throw his razor towards the trash can... he missed... he walked out leaving his disgusting razor on the floor for some other "cracker" to pick up. Even the little kids were demanding. I saw only ONE white family and only TWO Hispanic families.

The rest where blacks...sorry 20% to 30% decent blacks... and 70% LOSERS! I would call them ******S, but the actual definition of a ****** is one who is ignorant, these people were not ignorant......they were ARROGANT S. The majority of which are thugs and lifetime lazy ass welfare recipients. We are inviting the lowest of the low to Houston. And like idiots we are serving the people who will soon steal our cars, rape, murder, and destroy our city while stealing from our pockets on a daily basis through the welfare checks they take. We will fund our own destruction.

By "US" I don't mean a specific race, I mean the people who work hard, work smart, have values and morals. Only people who want to help themselves should be helped, the others should be allowed to destroy themselves. I do not want to work hard, give the government close to half the money I earn so they can in turn give it to a bunch of losers.

I don't believe in being poor for life. My family immigrated here, we came here poor, and now thank God, and due to HARD WORK we are doing fine. If immigrants, who come here, don't know the language can work and become successful... WHY THE **** CAN'T THE MAJORITY OF THE HOMEGROWN DO IT!

If we continue to reward these losers then we will soon destroy our great country. I just witnessed selfish, arrogant, unappreciative behavior by the very people who need help the most. Now these same people who cursed me, refused my cities generosity, who refuse to help themselves are DEMANDING handouts on their own terms! They prance around as if they are owed something, and when they do receive a handout, they say it's not good enough! Well you know what......these types of people can go to hell for all I care!

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/0767824954.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V58769372_.jpg

This is hilarious though: At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard.

Whoever wrote this seems to think we wee out of our vaginas.

UH.

Are you saying there is some kind of problem associated with that?

Worst koan ever.

i did this once. it was pretty much the final nail in the coffin of an unrewarding acquaintanceship. i'd heartily recommend it.

THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A MOMENT

The Mining Journal News, Marquette, Mi.

This text is from a county emergency manager out in the western part of Michigan state after a snow storm last winter.

WEATHER BULLETIN

Up here in the Northern Plains we just recovered from a Historic event--- may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" --- with a historic blizzard of up to 44" inches of snow and winds to 90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed ALL roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands.

FYI:

George Bush did not come.

FEMA did nothing.

No one howled for the government.

No one blamed the government.

No one even uttered an expletive on TV.

Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton did not visit.

Our Mayor's did not blame Bush or anyone else.

Our Governor did not blame Bush or anyone else either

CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, or NBC did not visit - or report on this category 5 snow storm nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.

No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House.

No one looted.

Nobody - I mean Nobody demanded the government do something.
Nobody expected the government to do anything either.

No Larry King, No Bill O'Rielly, No Oprah, No Chris Mathews and No Geraldo Rivera.

No Shaun Penn, No Barbara Striesand, No Hollywood types to be found.

Nope, we just melted the snow for water.

Sent out caravans of SUV's to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars.

The truck drivers pulled people out of snow banks and didn't ask for a penny.

Local restaurants made food, and the police and fire departments delivered it to the snow bound families..

Families took in the stranded people - total strangers.

We Fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Coleman lanterns.

We put on an extra layers of clothes because up here it is "Work or Die".

We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes for 'sittin at home' checks.

Even though a Category "5" blizzard of this scale has never fallen this early, we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.
"In my many travels, I have noticed that once one gets north of about 48 degrees North Latitude, 90% of the world's social problems evaporate."

It does seem that way, at least to me.

I hope this gets passed on..

Maybe . SOME people will get the message .. The world does Not owe you a living!!!

> The Plan!
>
> You gotta love Robin Williams......
> Even if he ' s nuts! Leave it to Robin
> Williams to come up with the perfect
> plan. What we need now is for our
> UN Ambassador to stand up and
> repeat this message.
>
> Robin Williams ' plan...(Hard to
> argue with this logic!)
>
> "I see a lot of people yelling for peace
> but I have not heard of a plan for
> peace. So, here ' s one plan."
>
> 1) "The US will apologize to the world for our
> "interference" in their
> affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler,
> Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo,
> Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those
> "good ole boys", we
> will never "interfere" again..
>
> 2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the
> world, starting with
> Germany , South Korea , the Middle East, and the
> Philippines . They don
> ' t want us there. We would station troops at our
> borders. No one
> allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
>
> 3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their
> affairs together and
> leave.We ' ll give them a free trip home. After 90
> days the remainder
> will be gathered up and deported immediately,
> regardless of whom or
> where they are. They ' re illegal!!! France will
> welcome them.
>
> 4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked
> and limited to 90 days
> unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a
> terrorist nation will be
> allowed in. If you don ' t like it there, change it
> yourself and don ' t
> hide here.. Asylum would never be available to
> anyone. We don ' t need
> any more cab drivers
> or 7-11 cashiers.
>
> 5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones
> are the bombers. If
> they don ' t attend classes, they get a "D" and it '
> s back home baby.
>
> 6) The US will make a strong effort
> to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will
> include developing
> nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a
> temporary drilling of
> oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have
> to cope for a
> while.
>
> 7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing
> countries $10 a barrel for
> their oil. If they don ' t like it, we go someplace
> else(like Canada !
> or Oklahoma !). They can go somewhere else to sell
> their production.
> (About a week of the wells filling up the storage
> sites would be
> enough.)
>
> 8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe
> in the world, we
> will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or
> whomever, for seeds,
> rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of
> what we give them is
> stolen or given
> to the army. The people who need it most get very
> little, if anything.
>
> 9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island
> someplace. We don ' t
> need the spies and fair weather friends here.
> Besides, the building
> would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for
> illegal aliens.
>
> 10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty
> school. That way , no one
> can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The
> Language we speak is
> ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn ' t that a
> winner of a plan?
>
> "The Statue of Liberty is no longer
> saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled
> masses." She ' s got
> a baseball bat and she ' s yelling, ' you want a
> piece of me? ' "
>
> If you agree with the above forward it to friends..
> .If not, and I would be amazed, DELETE it!!

(or howabout just do "Strikethru") xpost

Funny that.

wait, is this true?? I gotta start watching this show.

they've got a point there

so do 90% of the people

Our house was burgled in June, the year before our donkey was stolen, and now this.

the question is, why do they catch on? how do they gain purchase and why do people forward them on?

because an awful lot of people are really, really, really fucking stupid?

"Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don ' t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens."

Yellow #5 decreases sperm count!

best urban legend is the blowjob gone awry because of braces and pubes

nah its the dog head party surprise

doing this nowadays gets you attacked as if you want the megacool story that didn't really happen to not be true or something or that you made it false with your correction.

so....dudsic?

My brother swears the Dock Ellis LSD no-hitter story was made up and it's such a wet blanket sentiment

_I experienced a guy ineffectually trying the other great New Orleans KFR ("Hey Mister, I bet you got your shoes on your feet - no wait come back I said it wrong").

a friend of mine keeps telling people that Lucy Lawless is the daughter of Blackie Lawless and I didn't correct him the first time because I figured this was a one time story he would tell, only now he keeps repeating it, so now me telling him is going to make it look like I was laughing at him by letting him tell it the whole time.

it is kind of funny to me though in that he's only 12 years older than her and she grew up in an entirely different country. not to mention his real name is Steven Duren.