I AM PAUL MCCARTNEY

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I SING FOR YOU I GET THE MAN AND I WRAP HIM UP

― I AM PAUL MCCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:22 (5 years ago) Permalink

Go on then. Do "Revolution"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:24 (5 years ago) Permalink

I LIKE SING IMAGINE FOR YOU
IMAGIIIINNNEEE LIVE AND LET DIE

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

I LIKE MY LIFE

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:26 (5 years ago) Permalink

You just changed it!

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:38 (5 years ago) Permalink

Sorry, you are insufficiently melodic to be Paul McCarthny. Rabids shouting will not endeavour you with the gifts to write catchily melodic pops like Banjo The Run or With A Bit Of Luck.

― Comstock Carabineri (nostudium), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:39 (5 years ago) Permalink

NO, I AM PAUL MCCARTNEY

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:41 (5 years ago) Permalink

I thought you were dead.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:42 (5 years ago) Permalink

Nor are you John Lemmon, except in his bile acid malabsorption days with Joko Onos when he feedback on a virgin for four sides, because he then cured and produced such immoral melodic greats as Beautiful Boys and Watch The Wheels, which he wrote for the Green Cross Codes adverts when Elvin Stardust was indispose.

― Comstock Carabineri (nostudium), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:44 (5 years ago) Permalink

AWAWAH
AWAWAH
AWAWAH
IMAGINE
PAUL MCCARTNEY IMAGINE

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:58 (5 years ago) Permalink

TOP SHOP

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 09:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

Sir Paul McCartney.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 09:19 (5 years ago) Permalink

TOP SHOP

I AM PAUL MCCARTNEY

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 09:50 (5 years ago) Permalink

TOP SHOP

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 09:53 (5 years ago) Permalink

IMAGINE

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 10:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

This is rather what it's like whenever I try to ring British Gas.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 10:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

TIM ate too many KFCs at his EDU.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 10:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

I rather like the idea of British Gas call centres being staffed by robotic Beatles impersonators.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 10:22 (5 years ago) Permalink

CALABANOH

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

I AM BOB DILAN AWAWAH AWAWAH AWAWAH

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

TOP SHOP

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

COPACABANA

― amon (eman), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

Never mind, readers - Mark Chapman's up for release shortly!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

I GET THE MAN I PUT HIM I PUT HIM IN WRAP HIM UP

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

COCKFOSTERS

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:07 (5 years ago) Permalink

TOP SH

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

VARNEY

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

TOP SHOP I AM JIM? MORSON NOW

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:09 (5 years ago) Permalink

Give my regards to Broadmoor

― NickB (NickB), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:10 (5 years ago) Permalink

SHES LOVES ME AWAWAH AWAWAH AWAAWAH SHES LOVE ME AWAWAWAWAAAH I SING FOR GOOD

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:12 (5 years ago) Permalink

Carbimazole?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:14 (5 years ago) Permalink

WHO?

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:17 (5 years ago) Permalink

I AM JOHN LENNON AM PAUL MCARTNEY IMAGINE

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

It's like Ernie Wise with a talking Eric Morecambe doll and thinking he's still got a double act.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:21 (5 years ago) Permalink

I AM SINGER I SING FOR GOD AND BEAN CORD LADIES WIIMAGINETH WOODEN LIPS

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:23 (5 years ago) Permalink

I AM JOHN LENNON WRAP PAUL MCARTNEY IN LITTLE WOODEN BOX NOW HE GO AWAY STOP BOTHER YOU I AM SINGER OF SONG LIVE AND LET DIE

I LOVE

― I AM JOHN LENNON, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

CALIFORNIAR DREMAIN WHERE IS PAUL MCCARTNEY HELLO HELLO

― I AM BOB DIELAN, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:28 (5 years ago) Permalink

MORNINGTON CRESCENT!

(do i win?)

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:41 (5 years ago) Permalink

I SING FOR YOU

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 11:52 (5 years ago) Permalink

I AM PAUL MCCARTNEY AND SO IS MY WIFE!

― WE REALLY ARE PAUL MCCARTNEY (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 12:10 (5 years ago) Permalink

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 12:14 (5 years ago) Permalink

Calabanho?

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 12:31 (5 years ago) Permalink

HI DERE HOW IS EVERBODY I AM AAMAZE RANDY YOU WULD WISH TO BE LIKE ME I EXECT BUT U NOT LIKE NOTHINK LIKE ME I AM ORIGINAL YU TRY BE ME

― AMAZE RANDY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 12:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

U STOPID MUTHREFUCK

― AMAZE RANDY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 13:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

Well that doesn't sound anything like THE AMAZING RANDY.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 13:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

OH SHUT UP CK U ALAYS THINK TO NO BETTRE BUT U NOT BETRE TAHN OTERS OK

― AMAZE RANDY, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 13:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

LIVE AND LET DIE

― I AM PAUL MCARTNEY, Wednesday, 24 August 2005 06:23 (5 years ago) Permalink

I liked when the fireworks erupted during 'Live & Let Die'.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 25 August 2005 11:10 (5 years ago) Permalink

8 months pass...

he needs hen fap!

― the confusing situation Enrique currently endures (Enrique), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 08:44 (4 years ago) Permalink

Aw I thought it was twue wuv.

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 08:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

Skipping 49 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

SO LONG YOU VEGAN WIFE CLONE ~~

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4989240.stm

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Thursday, 18 May 2006 03:05 (4 years ago) Permalink

When I get older, losing my wife
A couple of weeks from now
She won’t be sending me a Valentine
Just legal papers for me to sign.

I could be happy puffing a spliff
When you’re finally gone
You can tell the papers all about “your side”
Four short years as my blushing bride.

Doing the talk shows, dishing the dirt
You’re still a bore,
You will still need me,
You will still bleed me,
When I’m sixty-four.

Send me a postcard, drop me a line
When you’ve gone from view
Indicate precisely what your talents are
That contrive to make you a star.

You were too jealous
I was too kind
But I’m blind no more
My fans will still need me
My fans will still greet me,
When I’m sixty-four.

― Venga (Venga), Thursday, 18 May 2006 14:48 (4 years ago) Permalink

That's quite moving!

― the pinefox (the pinefox), Thursday, 18 May 2006 15:11 (4 years ago) Permalink

prenup not necessary = the Dumb Beatle

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 18 May 2006 15:13 (4 years ago) Permalink

GRABBY ROAD - headline in the Sun. GRABBEY would've been better, if a bit confusing.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 18 May 2006 15:17 (4 years ago) Permalink

The divorce is too too tragic. Sir Paul and Heather in happier times:

ihttp://entertainmentcomplex.blognation.us/_photos/Paul%20and%20Heather.jpg

― EComplex (EComplex), Friday, 19 May 2006 12:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

So now, the story has gone from "how much money will she get" to vaguely feasible versions of the story from friend(s) of Heather and/or Paul.

This one will run a bit.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 22 May 2006 07:38 (4 years ago) Permalink

4 months pass...

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18102006/140/heather-mills-macca-beat.html

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:14 (3 years ago) Permalink

Tried to stop her breastfeeding, saying: "They are my breasts" and "I don't want a mouthful of breastmilk".

― ;_; (blueski), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:17 (3 years ago) Permalink

They portray McCartney, a former Beatle, as a "vindictive" man who regularly hurled abuse at his wife and even attacked her while she was pregnant.

That's John Lennon surely?

― Diddumsismus (Dada), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:17 (3 years ago) Permalink

Vomited on himself after a drinking session and staggered home drunk and slurring, demanding his dinner.

Him and about 3 billion other men

― Diddumsismus (Dada), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:19 (3 years ago) Permalink

She could never cook for that many! No wonder she's divorcing the fucker.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

:: Objected when she asked to buy a bedpan to save her crawling to the toilet at night, saying it would be like being in "an old woman's home".

Honestly, this is a little understandible.

― Allyzay lives aprox. 200 feet away from a stadium (allyzay), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

She better be able to prove these allegations or, come the legal proceedings, she won't have a leg to stand on

― Diddumsismus (Dada), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:22 (3 years ago) Permalink

*resists standable gag*

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:22 (3 years ago) Permalink

xpost :(

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:23 (3 years ago) Permalink

i want her to win ALL of his money.

― benrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:23 (3 years ago) Permalink

It'll never stand up in court etcpost

― Diddumsismus (Dada), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:24 (3 years ago) Permalink

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:25 (3 years ago) Permalink

hopefully, she'll cut it and stop this lame business

― timmy tannin (pompous), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:16 (3 years ago) Permalink

Oi, Onimo, stop nicking my jokes ~~that I nicked from somewhere else~~ !

Apparently Paul was asked after the breakup of his marriage whether he would consider going down on one knee again. He replied "I don't think so, but I'd still prefer it if you referred to her as Heather".

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:24 (3 years ago) Permalink

What kind of tuition do they charge at KFC.EDU?

― got yourself a fish biscuit! (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 16:48 (3 years ago) Permalink

Now that they've split up, I suppose he won't be buying her any Christmas presents this year. He won't have anything to put in her stocking. But there again, neither has she.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 16:51 (3 years ago) Permalink

"They are my breasts" seems to have become the phrase of the day.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 22:23 (3 years ago) Permalink

As part of the settlement she's demanding a plane. And a Ladyshave for the other leg.

― James Herbert Dip (noodle vague), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 22:27 (3 years ago) Permalink

All your breast are belong to us.

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 22:30 (3 years ago) Permalink

I wonder if people in court would be able to stop themselves from laughing if she made allegations he assaulted her with her false leg.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 22:35 (3 years ago) Permalink

LIVE AND LET DIE.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 19 October 2006 20:02 (3 years ago) Permalink

I love the sidebar on the Yahoo news link: "Hot Topics: North Korea, Al Quaeda, Paul McCartney".

Such company!

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 20 October 2006 01:14 (3 years ago) Permalink

Oh man, I had this weird fever dream rush type thing jus know where Tim Ellison had joined The Fall, kicked out Mark E. Smith and replaced him with Bob Pallard, and changed the song "I Am Damo Suzuki" to this thread title.

― gwynywdd dwnyt fyrwr byychydd gww (donut), Friday, 20 October 2006 02:07 (3 years ago) Permalink

oh, all these allegations are typical for a divorce -- she's just trying to get a leg up on paul is all!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 October 2006 02:11 (3 years ago) Permalink

Vomited on himself after a drinking session and staggered home drunk and slurring, demanding his dinner

he just wanted to know what it felt like to be legless

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 20 October 2006 02:17 (3 years ago) Permalink

THAT'S SO LAME!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 October 2006 02:20 (3 years ago) Permalink

needless to say, when paul said that he wanted a divorce heather was angrier than a one-legged indian at an ass-kicking contest.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 October 2006 02:25 (3 years ago) Permalink

This thread is killing me ;D

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 20 October 2006 02:44 (3 years ago) Permalink

4 months pass...

was there a thread in which teh amaze randy posted randified versions of the lyrics to "First of the gang to die" by Morrissey? I remember it, but it is nowhere to be found. Maybe this is like that photo of the cowboys with the pterodactyl - evidence that history has been tampered with.

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Monday, 5 March 2007 23:45 (3 years ago) Permalink

Don't remember that one.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 March 2007 10:09 (3 years ago) Permalink

This one?

― onimo, Tuesday, 6 March 2007 10:46 (3 years ago) Permalink

LIEV AND LET DIE!

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Tuesday, 6 March 2007 21:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

Is it true that Lady Mucca ls is going to be on Dancing with the Stars and bookies are taking bets on whether or not her leg will fly off?

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 22:01 (3 years ago) Permalink

srsly

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 22:07 (3 years ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD2mS4GAVBc

Mrs Vague pointed out that McCartney is flaunting the fact that he's got two legs in this advert.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 23:01 (3 years ago) Permalink

didn't he have a song called three legs?

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 00:33 (3 years ago) Permalink

that song rly blows. and the rel vdo is rly kinda like on par with come dancing vdo by kinks. only that vdo was made in 1986 (?) and this one is made now. ;_;

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 00:36 (3 years ago) Permalink

He's skipping! Flapping his legs all over the place smirking "look at my two legs".

― Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 08:15 (3 years ago) Permalink

That's almost the best way to hear that song, sounds pretty good at 30 seconds. Doesn't bear being stretched out any longer.

― cheasyweasel, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 08:22 (3 years ago) Permalink

the McCartney song on the itunes ad on tv right now is very annoying.

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 10:31 (3 years ago) Permalink

the McCartney ~~song on the~~ itunes ad on tv right now is very annoying.

Kinda creeps me out really.

― Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 16:02 (3 years ago) Permalink

It's just such a dumb song. I don't mind stupid repetitive lyrics about dancing around, and I might be in trouble if I did, but the song is dumb in 5 other ways as well. It sounds like he's making children's music.

― kenan, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 16:04 (3 years ago) Permalink

1 year passes...

SIR PAUL: TERROR TARGET
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/61355/Sir-Paul-Terror-target

― Zeno, Sunday, 14 September 2008 21:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

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