Defend the Indefensible: Kevin Smith

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I demand an explanation.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:27 (twenty years ago)

There is one?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:29 (twenty years ago)

"apple sauce, bitch."

-- really the only thing that can be said in his favor.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

I'm always saddened when I hear that someone I respect actually likes his films. "What, you don't? What about CLERKS?!" etc. So fucking unfunny and lame it's appalling.

― andy --, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

man he is funny as fuck

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:38 (twenty years ago)

The explanation is: Comic-Book Guy who has one cute movie in him makes six.

I saw Clerks at MoMA in '94 before it had a music track and liked it; haven't seen it, or liked any of his films, since. He hits upon a nice tone or joke now and then, but can't sustain it. However, he seems like a sweet guy in Q&As -- I saw one before "Dogma" at the NY Film Fest too --so I don't wish him ill; there are more evil people making lackluster movies that make an awful lot more $$$.

"What is this Piano shit!" - Jay reacting to Alanis M as a mute God

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

look yall i laughed more & harder at 1 showing of jay & silent bob strike back in the movie theater than 4 1/2 yrs of ilx

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago)

'affleck, you the bomb in phantoms yo!'

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

"clerks" is new jersey exemplified in film. somoeone had to do it.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

'affleck, you the bomb in phantoms yo!'

This is kinda like the 'quote lyrics to indicate the depth' problem explained on that 10000 Maniacs thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

that one is funny too

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

haha xpost ned you like monty python

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

chasing amy is funny

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

and if you think kevin smith is any cornier than all those mid 90s mystery science theater sketches then you are trippin

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

i like jason lee

― 2, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

haha xpost ned you like monty python

That's sorta like me saying to someone else "Ha, you like MBV."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

clerks is dead funny, how the fuck can you not laugh at jay and silent bob dancing. they were funny as fuck in scream 3 too. and beserker! alright maybe the star wars bit seems a bit lame in retrospect. but that is one film i can just watch over and over. not surprised ilx doesn't dig him, isn't this the same group who spent like 300 posts "hilariously" "dissing" melissa marchant or whatver her name is.

― beatles fan, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

He wrote two pretty good Green Arrow stories. His Daredevil stuff was pretty putride, howev.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

mystery science theater MUCH higher laugh rate at my house. (The people who wrote that show read books.)

When I saw Affleck in Good Will Hunting I said, "Oh, the guy from Chasing Amy. I still wanna punch him."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

ned i dont like monty python

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

look yall i laughed more & harder at 1 showing of jay & silent bob strike back in the movie theater than 4 1/2 yrs of ilx

4 years, 6 months, 90 minutes y'all

― Dr. Glen Y. Abreu (dr g), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

I don't remember any of what you're talking about (Scream 3? people watched that?). Tho Smith's Star Wars fixation/apologetics are rather telling... personally I haven't seen Clerks since it came out either and my only recollection is that there were a couple funny vignettes about being a bored wage slave and then that unbelievably unfunny "ohmigod she fucked a dead guy!" ending, which is like the punchline to some 4th grade playground joke...

Morbs OTM re: MST 3000. That guy is just more deeply versed in popular culture.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

mystery science theater MUCH higher laugh rate at my house. (The people who wrote that show read books.)

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

you sound like a bitch

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

I pretty much agree with Dr. Morbius. Clerks is okay in a punk-rock, diy, barely competent, one-good-idea-padded-oout-with-a-bunch-of-lousy-ones way, but if a meteor had landed on him as soon as the final cut had been canned, we'd have been spared a lot of pain.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:53 (twenty years ago)

I enjoyed many parts of Mallrats.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

I saw him on Trio, I think, last week talking to college kids in Wyoming, and he was quite charming, really.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

I think he named his kid after a c-list Batman villain. That's pretty lame.

― Killer Moth-L, Son of Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

I like Mallrats and Chasing Amy, partly because I like humor involving Jason Lee and taking comic books too seriously.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

smokin beers, doin coke, drinkin' weed...

― 57 7th (calstars), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

i don't like kevin smith movies or mystery science theatre! i agree he comes across well in person though, and actually kinda funny

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

'archie was the bitch, jughead was the butch. thats why he was always goin around in that crown-looking hat, he was the king of queen archies world.'

― 2, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

As an actor, Jason Lee is a skateboarder. I'd do him tho.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

3 you should see the new deuce bigalow movie

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:00 (twenty years ago)

"Tho Smith's Star Wars fixation/apologetics are rather telling..."

yes because anyone who has fondness for stah wahz is A SWINE, A BUFFOON, A MENTALLY DEFECIENT DEFLATED TIRE OF A HUMAN BEING. WE SHALL REJOICE AND ENJOY OUR FINE WINES, CHEESES AND MARISSA MARCHANT ALBUMS. EAT POOBERRIEZ AND DRINK THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB OUR SAVIOR THE GOLF STAR TIGER WOODS, I HEAR HE HAS PROTECTION EARNED IN GOLD FROM LAST STARFIGHTING COLOR BOOK, REMEBER SOINC THE PORCUPINES HE IS GOOD TIGER PEOPLE YMCA VILLAGES OF THE DAMNED PEOPLE BURN BURN STRUT YOUR STUFF LIKE A

― THEFORCE, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

maybe I just don't appreciate that Smith's movies are all bounded by rather pedestrian reference points - John Hughes, Star Wars, crappy comics I could never be bothered to read, etc. And that's all there is to it. By comparison, MST 3000 is like fucking Dennis Miller (back before he was a right-wing hack)...

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

dude mystery science theater is pretty middlebrow... since when is shit funnier just cuz the references are more obscure!??

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:02 (twenty years ago)

anyway i could give a shit about star wars but punisher war journal/'kneel before zod' jokes are funny

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

who fucking cares how "pedestrian" "reference points" are?

(xp)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

But MST3K makes fun of obscure, crappy movies mostly by referencing other obscure, crappy movies!

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

thank you man!! 'they seem like they read books' get the fuck outta here

― 2, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

affleck on tape fuckin a 15 yr old in the ass while goin 'whos your favorite new kid!?!! call me donnie!!!' >>>> corny non sequiters bout japanese tv and bucky fuller

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

"What's a Nubian?"

― The Mad Puffin (The Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

b-b-b-b-but punisher war journal is totally obscure!!!
I'm not talking about obscurity, I'm talking about acknowledging a larger world out there apart from the same four things he was obsessed with as a 13-year-old.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

why do you want him to do that?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

I saw him on Trio, I think, last week talking to college kids in Wyoming, and he was quite charming, really.

-- M. White (deir...), August 9th, 2005.

yeah, thats from the 'evening with kevin smith' thing. hes actually really funny in that, especially when talking about his encounters with Prince and Jon Peters (the Batman producer).

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

MST3K made fun of obscure, crappy movies mostly by referencing Georgia O'Keeffe, TV, Nixon, Oscar Wilde, Wisconsin theme parks, Renaissance fairs, etc.

Who taught 3 to type? Cornelius and Zira?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Chasing Amy seemed really poignant to me when I first saw it. Maybe because if a way it dovetailed w. my life at the time, but I think (despite the Jay & Silent Bob cameo) that it is dramatically quite a good flick. The rest of his career be damned, I think many of the beats in the Affleck / Adams love story are quite affecting from the point of view of nerdy, insecure guys; a group in which I (at the time) very much included myself.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

cmon slocki dont you know movies are only good if theyre about exactly the same things you care about

― 3, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

who taught you to type?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 9 August 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 716 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Yeah, totally. Those are basically baggy man capris at that length. It's like he has a contract with JNCO to custom make him the ugliest shit possible.

― ˙❤‿❤˙˙❤‿❤˙ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 17:03 (fifteen years ago)

he seriously dresses like a cartoon character or something

Poochie

― "Information by surprise" is even legal in Sweden (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 17:03 (fifteen years ago)

I have never seen anything like that. I live in the midwest so I see a lot of dudes Kevin Smith's size, but never in anything that baggy. Where does he even find those clothes?

― THX THO... (Nicole), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 17:07 (fifteen years ago)

He's gotta start dressing like Dom Deluise. It's the only way.

― mc souleye (brownie), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 17:09 (fifteen years ago)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SPDm6_1uhR4/SHTV6cCjntI/AAAAAAAAAQo/njuRHJtyRkc/s400/Homer_muumuu.jpg

― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 17:12 (fifteen years ago)

man I have no watched the Simpsons in a loooooooong time

but that img brings all the best moments back

― "Information by surprise" is even legal in Sweden (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 17:26 (fifteen years ago)

I still haven't recovered from Kevin Smith (playing himself) kissing Caitlin in Degrassi

― buildings with goats on the roof (James Morrison), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:23 (fifteen years ago)

christ no one should be forced to kiss Kevin Smith for any reason

― "Information by surprise" is even legal in Sweden (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:23 (fifteen years ago)

lol, i never knew his wife was in Playboy!

NSFW, obv: http://img0.liveinternet.ru/images/attach/c/0/31/164/31164853_jen_playboy.jpg

― dr. harbl's zing-along blog (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:31 (fifteen years ago)

even a Kevin James character would find the disparity baffling

― dr. harbl's zing-along blog (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:31 (fifteen years ago)

hideous coupling

― "Information by surprise" is even legal in Sweden (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:32 (fifteen years ago)

god kevin smith is the absolute fucking worst ever

― gimme schefter (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:33 (fifteen years ago)

if you like any of his movies you should be condemned to a life of wearing oversized jorts

― gimme schefter (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:33 (fifteen years ago)

i still have mad <3 for clerks

― dr. harbl's zing-along blog (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:34 (fifteen years ago)

you now have mad <3 for jorts

― gimme schefter (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:35 (fifteen years ago)

jortin' sargent

― dr. harbl's zing-along blog (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:35 (fifteen years ago)

ha, i actually have a few friends that jokingly will call me "jort" because of my name being jordan mort

― gimme schefter (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:36 (fifteen years ago)

mort?

― dr. harbl's zing-along blog (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:37 (fifteen years ago)

french for death

― "Information by surprise" is even legal in Sweden (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:37 (fifteen years ago)

mort todd = death death

which I always thought was funny

― "Information by surprise" is even legal in Sweden (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:37 (fifteen years ago)

mort = my middle name

it's an old jewish name/was my grandfather's name

― gimme schefter (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:38 (fifteen years ago)

i know this is all terribly important & i don't want to take away from the time where we could be talking about how kevin smith is the absolute worst human being

― gimme schefter (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:38 (fifteen years ago)

my great grandfather*

― gimme schefter (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:39 (fifteen years ago)

i can see why porn producers made u leave it out

― dr. harbl's zing-along blog (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:39 (fifteen years ago)

weird that it's mort and not mordecai

― "Information by surprise" is even legal in Sweden (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:39 (fifteen years ago)

let's just call him jortecai

― "Information by surprise" is even legal in Sweden (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:40 (fifteen years ago)

xp that's what they used to call me in hebrew school

― gimme schefter (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:40 (fifteen years ago)

jordan is jewish?!

― shirley summistake (s1ocki), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:40 (fifteen years ago)

yeah -- my dad converted so my last name doesn't betray me (altho my nose does)

― gimme schefter (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:40 (fifteen years ago)

I like Kev's movies but I won't wear jorts and you can't make me Jordan :(

― Square-Panted Sponge Robert (VegemiteGrrrl), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:42 (fifteen years ago)

lol, i never knew his wife was in Playboy!

one guess who did the shoot

mort todd = death death

no wonder he went by Michael Delle-Femine

― i'm assuming that it's tity boi, host of the mixtape (sic), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 23:42 (fifteen years ago)

six months pass...

This kid, this ex-sperm who once resided in my balls, dropped a generational anvil on my head. "Old"?!? Was this chick out of her mind?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kevin-smith/kevin-smith-_b_878226.html?ir=Entertainment

― velko, Monday, 20 June 2011 06:28 (fourteen years ago)

http://img1.cbimg.cdn.celebuzz.com/cb/assets/users16/celebuzz/default/gallery-msg-12366488194-3.jpg

― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 20 June 2011 14:38 (fourteen years ago)

pleasant plains OTM

― frogbs, Monday, 20 June 2011 14:50 (fourteen years ago)

One of the joys of parenthood will be telling my children they can consult wikipedia if they'd like to learn more about pavement

― da croupier, Monday, 20 June 2011 15:10 (fourteen years ago)

also kinda shocked this article doesn't have kev shrieking "you kids don't know SOUL ASYLUM?"

― da croupier, Monday, 20 June 2011 15:12 (fourteen years ago)

this ex-sperm who once resided in my balls

that does it, Kevin Smith is officially too real for me to handle

― frogbs, Monday, 20 June 2011 15:17 (fourteen years ago)

don't ever change you fat slab of jersey incarnate.

― strongo hulkington's ghost dad, Monday, 20 June 2011 15:18 (fourteen years ago)

once resided in the least-roomy part of Kevin Smith

― already president FYI (Dr Morbius), Monday, 20 June 2011 15:19 (fourteen years ago)

http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/content/screenshots/episodes/3f21/3f21_014.jpg

"Yes, Live, yes...don't stop a rockin'!"

― da croupier, Monday, 20 June 2011 15:22 (fourteen years ago)

lol morbz

― The bigman from the glorious 'e street' band (some dude), Monday, 20 June 2011 15:23 (fourteen years ago)

in another universe, since he is kinda funny and gross when doing the family man comedy stuff, i could actually see kevin smith becoming louis ck, but unfortunately he chose george lucas over richard pryor.

― strongo hulkington's ghost dad, Monday, 20 June 2011 15:25 (fourteen years ago)

george lucas and linklater

― strongo hulkington's ghost dad, Monday, 20 June 2011 15:25 (fourteen years ago)

which is like a peanut butter cup made out of styrofoam and bong water

― strongo hulkington's ghost dad, Monday, 20 June 2011 15:26 (fourteen years ago)

"Louie" is closer to a Kevin Smith movie than anyone on this board wants to admit with its DIY DOODZ production values and flimsy first draft writing

― The bigman from the glorious 'e street' band (some dude), Monday, 20 June 2011 15:32 (fourteen years ago)

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGZV12FUJwk

― buzza, Saturday, 6 October 2012 17:33 (thirteen years ago)

two years pass...

and you thought your dad embarrassed you..

http://i.imgur.com/Nz99EwZ.jpg

― pplains, Monday, 27 July 2015 00:41 (ten years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kevin-smith-and-daughter-harley-quinn-have-some-life-advice-for-hateful-internet-troll_us_57b3194fe4b0a8e150253a5f

― how's life, Tuesday, 16 August 2016 17:42 (nine years ago)

four years pass...

Kevin Smith is being interviewed in this doc wearing a t-shirt of the Funko Pop version of himself, with an enamel pin of himself on the lapel, creating a sort of Kevin Smithception situation pic.twitter.com/HtUTW3yMKC
— Ben Boyer (@sleezsisters) August 22, 2020

― "...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 22 August 2020 19:38 (five years ago)

one year passes...

people seem pissed at him for saying Spider Man should be nominated for an Oscar, but this has been his persona for 30 years. if there's anyone who I wouldn't roll my eyes at saying that its Kevin Smith

― frogbs, Sunday, 13 February 2022 03:40 (four years ago)

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