Help me to understand the rules of fashion, as applied to women

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The inevitable spin-off thread from Help me to understand the rules of fashion, as applied to men.

As for me personally, I seek no fashion advice.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:06 (twenty years ago)

The rules of fashion for women by lyra: look in the mirror in the fitting room before you buy it. Most women don't wear clothes that actually fit - by which I don't mean super loose or super tight, but "gaps in a weird place" or "pulls across your hips weirdly" and similiar.

― lyra (lyra), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:13 (twenty years ago)

Walking down the street
Something caught my eye
A growing epidemic
That really ain't fly
This middle aged lady
I gotta be blunt
Her spandex biker shorts
Were creeping up the front
I could see her uterus
Her pants were too tight
She mustn't own panties
There were none in sight
She walked right by
The poor woman didn't know
She had a frontal wedgie
A Cameltoe

Umm Hmm
That's right
Uh Huh
Oh No
Fix yourself girl
You got a Cameltoe

Girl that's gotta hurt
Take some time and adjust
Can't you see people staring
And making a fuss
Could not believe my eyes
Had to take a second glance
Is your crotch hungry girl?
Cause it's eating your pants
Do you enjoy the commotion
And attention it brings?
The only lips I wanna see
Are the ones that sing
In public putting on
An X rated show
Grossing people out
With your Cameltoe

Repeat Chorus

First day of spring and by the looks of things
These girls done forgot how to dress
A little too quick to wearin pum pum shorts
And it's causing me much distress
Whoomp there it is ya'll right in the front
Everybody come and get a good look
I can see everything through the panty cling
Every crannie and every nook
You better take a quick minute before you step outside
Check the area thats pubic
Or you'll get your panties all up in a bunch
All twisted up like rubic
Take these words of advice cause its not very nice
I wanna put you all in the know
Girls dont sleep dont let your pants creep
Watch out for the Cameltoe.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:14 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: if you have big tits, leave the buttons on your button-down shirt open (and wear a sleeveless shirt underneath).

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:18 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: shirts that cover your butt will make your butt look bigger.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:22 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: skirts are great, but make sure the fabric isn't the kind that bunches up or balloons out (e.g., linen).

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:29 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: horizontal stripes do actually make you look fat. Yes they do. Yes. Stop arguing, yes they do.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:34 (twenty years ago)

Find the look that works for you and stick with it.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:35 (twenty years ago)

lyra and orbit otm.

1) just because you can fit into it, doesn't mean you can wear it out. 2) don't be such a slave to trends. I feel like everyone walking around town looks exactly the same. I guess I might too if those clothes were made for women with ass.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:36 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: super-tight blue jeans on super-skinny women is not a good look. well-proportioned skinny women, yes. anorexic women, no. they make your legs look like pool cues.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:36 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: for better or worse, it WILL shrink in the dryer.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:40 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: if you're a 14, DON'T SQUEEZE INTO A 10. Wearing a 14 actually makes you look thinner because, surprise surprise, it's designed for your frame.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:43 (twenty years ago)

depends on the 14. women's clothing sizes vary WIDELY from designer to designer.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:44 (twenty years ago)

Note to women: PLEASE stop trying to look like an 80s video clip. You look silly. I dont care how hipster you think blue eyeshadow and a badly-fitting trilby hat and HUGE sunglasses look. I'm laughing at you.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:46 (twenty years ago)

also, nothing is really "designed" for your frame unless you've got a tailor standing there with you taking measurements while you tell him what you want.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:46 (twenty years ago)

Well yeah. But generally you don't squeeze into something that's too small, because it looks too small.

[xpost]

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:46 (twenty years ago)

also, nothing is really "designed" for your frame unless you've got a tailor standing there with you taking measurements while you tell him what you want.

Of course, but telling yourself you're a size 10 doesn't work, and just makes you look bigger than you are.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:47 (twenty years ago)

I'll add to that by saying that in tee-shirts I'm anything from an XS to a L, depending on who made it, so I do know what you mean.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:48 (twenty years ago)

Note to women: PLEASE stop trying to look like an 80s video clip. You look silly.

A few weeks ago we went to a taping of Chartbusting 80s and there was this woman all done up in blue eyeshadow, stripy stockings, denim jacket, hoop earrings, the works. We said "awesome fancy dress! You look just like they did in the 80s!" She said "um, it's not fancy dress."

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: unless you're in a whitesnake video, tone down the cleavage. a little goes a long way; a lot is embarrassing for anyone else in the room.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:53 (twenty years ago)

Rule #1 - there are no rules

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:54 (twenty years ago)

bullshit

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:55 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: leopard skin spandex doesn't look good on anyone ever.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:55 (twenty years ago)

whats wrong with hipster girls trying to look like 80s music video clips? dressing up is fun!

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:56 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: not everyone can be a blonde.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 02:57 (twenty years ago)

Oh some 80s looks I think look cool, and in context (at the right kinda club nite for eg) it can be great. Hell I cant talk, having done the goth/punky thing to death over the years ;)

Its just some of the 80s stuff is SO unflattering - baggy ruffly tops, horrible pastel colours, giant Jackie O sunglasses... eh, its not for me.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:01 (twenty years ago)

Worry constantly that you don't look good enough.

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:07 (twenty years ago)

fashion rule for women: buy shoes AND WEAR THEM. Don't pile them up in the closet for six months and throw them away.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:10 (twenty years ago)

Keep clothes-adjusting to a minimum, look comfortable, don't drop food on yourself too often.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:11 (twenty years ago)

But those shoes go with that dress that I never wear!
xpost

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:13 (twenty years ago)

Don't wear shoes with heels so high they make you walk like a marionette.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:18 (twenty years ago)

Also, if you buy high heels, learn how to walk in them. Don't clop-clop-clop-clop like they're stilts because people will laugh at you.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:21 (twenty years ago)

-- Crankypants (ada...), June 28th, 2005 1:50 PM. (later)

Was it Josie Parelli?

― Sasha (sgh), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:28 (twenty years ago)

Hah!

She's cool btw.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:29 (twenty years ago)

my advice to women is to dress (and look) like lauren bacall.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:35 (twenty years ago)

What is it with men giving "fashion advice" to women?

― Bob Amal (bobnope), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

what is it with women giving "fashion advice" to women?

you put "fashion advice" in scare quotes like you mean to imply "it from behind"?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:45 (twenty years ago)

Some women need "fashion advice" from anything they can get.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 04:47 (twenty years ago)

I beg to differ! "how to dress well" advice maybe. But fuck "fashion", cos as far as I'm concerned, "fashion" is ususally plug ugly anyway.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 05:39 (twenty years ago)

Yeah. But some people still need help when putting clothes on. If you weigh 180kg, chances are your size 10 Britney Spears bare-midriff top will make you look a complete dickhead. That kind of thing.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 05:58 (twenty years ago)

Oh c'mon Adam, it works for me :)

― The self-hating Goy / Kate (papa november), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 06:02 (twenty years ago)

Well obviously but that has nothing to do with whatever Yves St Laurent says is in this winter does it ;P

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 06:03 (twenty years ago)

argh post

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 06:03 (twenty years ago)

Yves St Laubollocks. You can look good wivout goin to Paris innit.

― Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 06:16 (twenty years ago)

Think your porridge gut is covered? Look in the mirror and make like you're catching a high-flying frisbee. It's not covered any more, see? Get one three sizes bigger.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 06:33 (twenty years ago)

go naked at all times thus avoiding those what will go with what dilemmas.

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:18 (twenty years ago)

At the moment the advice seem to be "NO MATTER WHAT YOU MUST WEAR A GYPSY SKIRT, AT ALL COSTS"

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 08:15 (twenty years ago)

Which means you must ignore it. Always stop wearing a trend when it goes supernova.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 08:49 (twenty years ago)

Maybe if I started wearing gysy skirts all the girls would stop.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 08:50 (twenty years ago)

Horray! Yes, do it Ed!

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 08:52 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 83 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

LOL Ed. Pencil skirts are fine, particularly in the wide-belt era. They look silly on me unless as part of '40s tribute suit, though or Romeo Gigli suits from late '80s.

― suzy, Saturday, 26 April 2008 17:04 (eighteen years ago)

footwear shouldn't draw attention to itself

― gabbneb, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

Mega rong.

When you post on fashion threads it makes me feel bad, because I want to change you.

― felicity, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:14 (eighteen years ago)

Really? I want hurt him with sharp things until he stops having an opinion.

― Laurel, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:17 (eighteen years ago)

this is awesome

― gabbneb, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

We are saying the same thing except you do not feel bad about it.

I am now filled with morbid curiosity as to what would be the other elements of gabbneb "style". 3-2-1 go!

― felicity, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:25 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.wildties.com/vimages/ties/WT900912L.jpg

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:27 (eighteen years ago)

* light blue dress shirt because blue is the boy color

― elmo argonaut, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:27 (eighteen years ago)

lol elmo

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:29 (eighteen years ago)

-drab shoes
-stars and stripes bow tie

So far, so hotttttttt.

― felicity, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:31 (eighteen years ago)

drab shoes are a no-no but my heart just can't say "no" to that stars and stripes bow tie

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:34 (eighteen years ago)

Anyway, back to felicity:

http://cdn.overstock.com/images/products/P11085470.jpg

http://www.overstock.com/Clothing/Bamboo-by-Journee-Patent-Leather-Ballet-Flats/2917109/product.html?

http://cdn.overstock.com/images/products/P10814362.jpg

http://www.overstock.com/Clothing/Adi-Liliana-Womens-Leather-Buckle-Shoes/2605126/product.html?

― Laurel, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

OH HELLO WHITE BUCKLED STRAPS GET IN MY CLOSET

― Laurel, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:51 (eighteen years ago)

Sigh they are too flat for meeeeeeee

― Laurel, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:51 (eighteen years ago)

im a pencil skirt fan

― max, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:51 (eighteen years ago)

http://content.nordstrom.com/ImageGallery/store/product/MediumLarge/8/_5410488.jpg

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2951981/0~2376788~6002242~6007715~6008488?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6008488&P=1

― Laurel, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:54 (eighteen years ago)

OMG I LOVE THOSE!!!

― ENBB, Thursday, 8 May 2008 20:56 (eighteen years ago)

no leg-covering may be visible above the ankle unless it extends to the waist or is of lesser thickness than and does not restrict that which is worn at the waist

i wouldn't want anyone to feel bad

― gabbneb, Thursday, 8 May 2008 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

by waist i mean hips, if you want to be technical about it

― gabbneb, Thursday, 8 May 2008 21:01 (eighteen years ago)

the same or lesser thickness

― gabbneb, Thursday, 8 May 2008 21:05 (eighteen years ago)

whaaaaaaaaat in the hell are you on about?

― bell_labs, Thursday, 8 May 2008 21:08 (eighteen years ago)

It puts the pantyhose on its skin.

It puts the pantyhose on its skin.

Put the *k€#*!@ing Leggs in the &*+!:$#ing basket!

― felicity, Thursday, 8 May 2008 22:00 (eighteen years ago)

fashion is a tough business

if you want it broken down:
no uggs
no leg-warmers
no boots over jeans unless the jeans are skinny and the boots are wide
think carefully about the kneesocks

― gabbneb, Thursday, 8 May 2008 23:53 (eighteen years ago)

pretty uninteresting chall ops for a dude who prob wears pleated khakis

― deej, Thursday, 8 May 2008 23:59 (eighteen years ago)

no uggs you say???

― deej, Thursday, 8 May 2008 23:59 (eighteen years ago)

pleated khakis

oh yes

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:01 (eighteen years ago)

where u from, deej?

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:02 (eighteen years ago)

chicago, u know this

― deej, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:10 (eighteen years ago)

no idea, sorry. do people wear pleated khakis there?

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:11 (eighteen years ago)

more chall ops for you - denim for non-jean purposes is presumptively rong. jackets are obviously the exception that proves, but great care must be exercised.

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:11 (eighteen years ago)

no leg warmers?? are you crazy??

― Rubyredd, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:15 (eighteen years ago)

oh good, a brave stand against denim button ups

― deej, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:16 (eighteen years ago)

So basically you would like us all to dress like women's basketball coaches.

― felicity, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:17 (eighteen years ago)

i just volunteer here

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:18 (eighteen years ago)

A for effort. How about

nothing fashionable

― felicity, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:24 (eighteen years ago)

now we're talking

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:27 (eighteen years ago)

Ah, I see.

― felicity, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:27 (eighteen years ago)

gabbneb i wear a PENCIL SKIRT with LEG WARMERS

― Rubyredd, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:51 (eighteen years ago)

if you want to take a few years off your age, that's probably a good look

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:52 (eighteen years ago)

How strange, a woman wanting to do that.

― felicity, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:56 (eighteen years ago)

i know right

― Rubyredd, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:56 (eighteen years ago)

already a cougar at 28

― Rubyredd, Friday, 9 May 2008 00:56 (eighteen years ago)

sorry, i'll stop being all insensitive and feminist now

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 01:09 (eighteen years ago)

Mostly I don't understand you Gabbneb at least in terms of ladies clothing. However, you might be right about the denim thing.

― ENBB, Friday, 9 May 2008 01:11 (eighteen years ago)

Now I have to get rid of my Blossom-style denim hat with a fake daisy pinned to it. THANKS A LOT, GABB.

― Abbott, Friday, 9 May 2008 01:14 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.tvguide.com/images/pgimg/blossom.jpg

IT IS AN AGELESS LOOK, GABBNEBB

― Abbott, Friday, 9 May 2008 01:14 (eighteen years ago)

womens' hats are so extraneous/free-lunch (or just uncommon/unfamiliar?), it's hard to apply rules to them. anyway, i can't really say anything bad about them after meeting casey han.

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 01:26 (eighteen years ago)

also, blossom rules

― gabbneb, Friday, 9 May 2008 01:26 (eighteen years ago)

ALSO ARE YOU TELLING ME I MUST GET RID OF THIS ELEGANT DRESS

http://www.retro-housewife.com/images/fashion/1980/denim-skirt-vest.jpg

― Abbott, Friday, 9 May 2008 01:28 (eighteen years ago)

Blossom does fucking rule.

― Abbott, Friday, 9 May 2008 01:28 (eighteen years ago)

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