And Baby Makes Three: A White Trash Population Explosion

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Dear Fans:

The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together. There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend, Kevin and I just want everyone to know that all is well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Love, Britney and Kevin

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:00 (nineteen years ago) link

IT BEGINS

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:02 (nineteen years ago) link

good for her!

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I EAGERLY AWAIT A MORE MATURE DIRECTION ON HER NEXT ALBUM.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:06 (nineteen years ago) link

At least she waited 'til she was married.

― andy --, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:06 (nineteen years ago) link

This means that dood finished inside her, right?

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:07 (nineteen years ago) link

http://celinati.free.fr/news/calendriermiracle.jpg

mach 2

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:08 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't wait to see what this kid's name will be.

"This is mah daughter, Minnie Pearl Federline"

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:11 (nineteen years ago) link

whatever happened to billie?

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Why did Celine Dion make her baby into a cabbage?

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:12 (nineteen years ago) link

she's canadian

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Representatives for pop star Britney Spears are fuming after she unwittingly gave an interview to the 10-year-old daughter of a tabloid journalist.

http://xtramsn.co.nz/entertainment/0,,12253-4284379,00.html

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:20 (nineteen years ago) link

I was looking for an image to post that would capture the spirit of this thread; the chest burster came to mind, as did a simple google search for "white trash." Results were unsatisfactory. And while the effort was there with Celine Dion, I can say it was an ineffective choice for conveying the mirth we should be feeling right now: the first child of a pop star born in the ILX-Era should be a time of delight and wonder and horror.

These are sad times.

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:26 (nineteen years ago) link

yeah, that federline dude seems like such a dick. won't this be like his third child?

― JD from CDepot, Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:32 (nineteen years ago) link

disgusting

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:36 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.monstromart.com/media/fanarea/cletus_point.jpg

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:37 (nineteen years ago) link

I should have a snide and/or pithy comment for this topic, but... I just can't. It's not in me.

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:43 (nineteen years ago) link

It is so...

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:44 (nineteen years ago) link

it was in britney

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:46 (nineteen years ago) link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/imborden/OhSnap.gif

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:48 (nineteen years ago) link

It could have been an immaculate conception.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:48 (nineteen years ago) link

For old times sake:

http://www.celebrities-suck.com/photos/britney-spears-bathroom.jpg

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Maybe the child in her belly is really a parasite she picked up from the floor?

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:02 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.skylagoon.com/usr/lav/etc/fora/zing.gif

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:08 (nineteen years ago) link

In lieu of a clever remark, I'll just post pics.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:08 (nineteen years ago) link

the headline should read:

FEDERLINE TO SIRE FIRST LEGITIMATE CHILD

(unless he was married previously. perhaps I should brush up on my k-fed bio facts)

― Actor Sizemore fails drug test with fake penis (jingleberries), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Do so, and get back to us.

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:28 (nineteen years ago) link

This is the best thread title I have ever seen.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Britney, Michael and Madonna... all with kids? Did somebody say SOOPERGROOP!

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 23:54 (nineteen years ago) link

"Take it, Prince Michael II Jr!"

"Okay, Shawyhna-Britney!"

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:15 (nineteen years ago) link

shawyhna?

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Maybe Britney is having a black man's love child?

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:18 (nineteen years ago) link

I mean, do we really know who the father is?

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:19 (nineteen years ago) link

possible babies:
http://www.stereogum.com/img/federlines.jpg

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:20 (nineteen years ago) link

shawyhna?

It's not a white trash name without silent Hs and Ys.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:23 (nineteen years ago) link

oh good now she will have something to take pictures of besides her dog's room

for some reason i've become defensive of britney spears, i'm like "aww good for her! be nice!"

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:23 (nineteen years ago) link

urSkeks Balki Federline

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:25 (nineteen years ago) link

do working class white people in australia commonly give their children names with silent hs and ys? is shawyhna a common australian name? britney's not australian in any case so i still don't get the joke.

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Evidently.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Thank god! This is the beginning of the end of her music career, don't you see?

― Girolamo Savonarola, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Countdown to the Britney Spears children's book.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:44 (nineteen years ago) link

she's definitely not cold rationalist, then.

― latebloomer: strawman knockdowner (latebloomer), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I keep going back to that Celine Dion picture. Those cold, dead, emotionless eyes. Those are a killer's eyes. Brrrrr.

― Curious George (1/6 Scale Model) (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 00:49 (nineteen years ago) link

"Federline has two small children with actress Shar Jackson. He began to date Britney Spears during Shar's second pregnancy."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Federline

Classy guy.

― Crackity (Crackity Jones), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 09:39 (nineteen years ago) link

What an embarrassing fucking thread.

― David Merryweather (DavidM), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Certainly was an embarrassing fuck on Britney's part, if that's what you mean.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:13 (nineteen years ago) link

"Britney reportedly had to pay for her five-carat engagement ring."

YET MORE CLASS!

― sugarpants: bea arthur's secret lover (sugarpants), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:37 (nineteen years ago) link

we are expecting our first child together
=
"we are expecting our first child ... (together)"

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:43 (nineteen years ago) link

I didn't know his middle name: Kevin Earl Federline.

At least it isn't Wayne.

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Guys...LACTATING BRITNEY.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:54 (nineteen years ago) link

I thought about this, before, but I don't think I ever told anyone:

kev-in fed-er-line

just-in timb-er-lake

: O

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Britney Spears
Brilliant Genius

..nah.

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Did Celine have another kid, then?

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:14 (nineteen years ago) link

This thread is sad.

― Leon WK (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:17 (nineteen years ago) link

and potentially divisive.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:19 (nineteen years ago) link

'and' or 'therefore'?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:19 (nineteen years ago) link

DAMNIT LUNA. I updated the Britney Spears Mental Health thread before looking at this. Oh well. I call upon ALLYZAY, the cultural emissary of all things Britney, to make an official statement.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:24 (nineteen years ago) link

involving wire hangers.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Pregnant? You know what that means...

... she fucks!

― Dan M. (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Britney Spears
Brilliant Genius
The letters you bolded spelled "brines." Hmmm...

... she fucks!
*to the tune of "Lump"* She fucks, she fucks, she fucks, she gives good head!

― Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:51 (nineteen years ago) link

FWIW, Federline is the sleaze, not Britney. Any maliciousness aimed at her is assy.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:03 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, except for that whole nasty Louisiana cracker thing.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Congratulations Britney!

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 15:16 (nineteen years ago) link

Yay!

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.imdb.com/news/wenn/2005-04-14/

The "Toxic" hitmaker, 23, and husband Kevin Federline, 27, announced they were expecting their first child together on Spears' official website on Tuesday

EW BIRTH CAM

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 14 April 2005 05:51 (nineteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Auctioning off Britney's pee strip. The world is a very weird place.

― Tinkle ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 2 May 2005 17:51 (eighteen years ago) link

OK how do you even prove that's actually something Britney Spears pissed on. WTF?

― Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Monday, 2 May 2005 18:06 (eighteen years ago) link

It must smell like "Curious."

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 2 May 2005 18:16 (eighteen years ago) link

(Yes, in case you're wondering, I do in fact want to punch myself in the face.)

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 2 May 2005 18:17 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/dispatch/2001-01-26/screens_slacker6.jpg

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 2 May 2005 18:17 (eighteen years ago) link

"Eating for two is so much fun; I get to eat lots and lots!" the 23-year-old singer says in a posting on her Web site.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 14:54 (eighteen years ago) link

That's sweet.

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 14:58 (eighteen years ago) link

two years pass...

good thread

― gershy, Sunday, 18 November 2007 05:42 (sixteen years ago) link

I can't wait to see what this kid's name will be.

"This is mah daughter, Minnie Pearl Federline"

-- luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:11 (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

lol accents

― Dom Passantino, Sunday, 18 November 2007 11:17 (sixteen years ago) link

at least their daughter was real

― sanskrit, Sunday, 18 November 2007 13:51 (sixteen years ago) link

... she fucks!
*to the tune of "Lump"* She fucks, she fucks, she fucks, she gives good head!

-- Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Wednesday, April 13, 2005 9:51 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

― and what, Sunday, 18 November 2007 16:42 (sixteen years ago) link

i miss hot britney

― swinburningforyou, Sunday, 18 November 2007 16:44 (sixteen years ago) link

at least their daughter was real

-- sanskrit, Sunday, 18 November 2007 13:51 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

threepyramids.jpg

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 18 November 2007 20:53 (sixteen years ago) link

yeah, that federline dude seems like such a dick. won't this be like his third child?
-- JD from CDepot, Tuesday, April 12, 2005 5:32 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

Ah, the days of yore when K-Fed was a villain.

― milo z, Sunday, 18 November 2007 20:57 (sixteen years ago) link

He's still a dick.

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 18 November 2007 21:04 (sixteen years ago) link

four months pass...

K-Fed Celebrates 30th Birthday in Vegas
Saturday, March 22, 2008

Britney Spears' ex-husband on Friday celebrated his 30th birthday at Pure Nightclub in Las Vegas, saying he felt "great" about entering his third decade, People.com reported.

With a posse of about 20 friends and attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan, Kevin Federline entered the club and was greeted at his VIP table by ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson, the mother of two of his children.

Federline’s other two children with Spears were in the care of a nanny and bodyguard as the rapper encouraged everyone to have a "good time" at his Vegas birthday bash, People.com reported.

― gershy, Sunday, 23 March 2008 04:02 (sixteen years ago) link

wouldn't he be entering his fourth decade? I like that he has to lawyer up to go clubbing

― The Reverend, Sunday, 23 March 2008 04:37 (sixteen years ago) link

and that they have to differentiate him from the "friends"

― tehresa, Sunday, 23 March 2008 04:38 (sixteen years ago) link

excellent thread

― omar little, Monday, 24 March 2008 19:40 (sixteen years ago) link

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