The Truth Has Outed

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I can't explain. I have just found out something which changes EVERYTHING. Which has made a lie out of ten months of my life.

And I am not disappointed, I am RELIEVED. At the same time, I feel like the bottom has dropped out of my world, yet I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I felt so sick and dirty and degraded that I actually nearly threw up. Love that I gave was given because of lies, and now I no longer need own that love, new information makes the love itself a lie.

I can't explain, and even if I could, it would probably spark off another flamewar which would require the thread to be deleted. So sorry if this is cryptic, but it is deliberately so.

I am vindicated. I. Am. Vindicated. No matter what the rest of you might think of me, or what lies have been told, *I* now know the truth, as much of the WHOLE TRUTH as can ever be seen, not just one twisted side of it, but the sides of the other women - girlfriends, fiances and wives, yes - WIFE - before me.

This negates any love I gave, formally and irrevocably. The contract is invalidated.

I refuse to live in fear any more. Any power he formerly held is now gone. Thank whatever god I believe in.

― kate, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Kate :
if it brings comfort then i never thought you were insane.

― anthony, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Gosh. How cryptic.

That said I saw The Truth on Tottenham Court Road the other day and he was with that nice young Jonathon Wilkes lad so I shouldn't be too surprised.

― Pete, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Thanks for the warning Kate. Moderators on Def Con Two.

― Tom, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Cripes!

― Nick, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Nick is on the money with his Cripes!

― chris, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wont be checking my e-mail until Sunday night BTW so don't e-mail me there (I'm only saying this because a cpl of times before there've been controversial threads and I didnt see e-mails about them until much later.)

― Tom, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Jings! (does anyone use this word anymore?)

― Andrew L, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Before Marineville descends entirely below the shoreline, can I just ask what "Def Con" stands for?

― mark s, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Chris is on the money with Nick's "cripes!"

― Mark C, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Defence (OK, 'Defense') Condition

― Nick, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Well done Nick! And there I was thinking it was just a PWEI reference.

― Sarah, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

As in POP WILL EAT ITSELF's monster supahit "Def Con One". One is worse than Two which is worse than Three and so on. Does the US military still have this?

― Tom, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

don't they have code colours now? Code red being the most urgent and key. Code blue probably being sit down, have a beer.

― chris, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I now hunger for Big Mac Fries To Go.

― Sarah, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

If so I'm on code blue now for sure.

― Tom, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sarah my old boyf claimed to be Great Buddies with the Poppies and had a signed album to prove it to me (convincing, huh? I'm sure he had more evidence than this but have forgotten / blanked it out)and for almost the entire 18 months I lived in a hovel in Turnpike Lane I had to listen to them EVERY MORNING. Gah.

― Emma, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Crikey! That's a sad story. Imagine being PWEI-sationed every morning.

― Martin, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"At the same time, I feel like the bottom has dropped out of my world, yet I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

It's understandable that you feel this way: if the bottom fell out of your world, causing you to descend quickly downwards, it makes sense that any weight which had been on your shoulders before you dropped might seem to have 'been lifted', even though it is a perceptual illusion.

― Nancy Drew, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

To be fair to your ex (why am I being fair to him) it wasn't his CD what constantly got played but Tekken WIth His Toes boy who used to play This Is The Day every morning. And at least it didn't wake you up, every day I was rudely woken at 7:30 by this being played three yards from my room. Lucky I was such a big Poppies fan.

I think we may have hit the rule of 3 on PWEI.

― Pete, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I had a boyfriend who for a while would make me listen to Feels Like Heaven by Fiction Factory (?) all the time. I did not like that and gave him absolutely no respect. Also lots of Half Mang Half Biscuit, which I must say I liked more. A Certain Boyfriend threatened Pink Floyd once offa morning and you will be glad to know I threw aforesaid tape very hard towards him. Only regret is that I left tape (and boyfriend hur hur) still intact for that is UNFORGIVEABLE.

― Sarah, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

hah! you guys had it EASY! my boyfriend makes me listen to: Glen Campbell, Tijuana Brass, Burt Bacharach, Iron Maiden and bloody Lolly grrrrrrrrrr. still however i am liking the Lee Hazlewood and Appetite For Destruction aspects of his record collection. he also likes Beck TOo Much, though i get back at him by liking Throwing Muses Too Much. we're a lovely couple.

― katie, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Wow what is his favourite Tijuana Brass LP? Mine is Tamla goes Tijuana.

Katie, I have a favourite Throwing Muses song now, because RickyT has left a bunch of records round my flat! It is called NOT TOO SOON and it's ace. I don't know any other records by the Throwing Muses.

― Sarah, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

bah, you have chosen the most ROCKIST THrowing Muses song! Not Too Soon is ACE though, definitely one of their poppiest efforts and Tania singing which isn't all that common. the stuff with Kristin singing tends to be a little more mentalist though. FEAR NOT we shall learn you in the ways of Throwing Muses....

i do not know which Tijuana album is his fave. last time he went to a boot sale he came back with EIGHT of the things, two of them the same album except one in stereo and one in mono. THUS I WIN in the 'who's got the other half with the most mentalist musical taste' stakes.

― katie, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Not too soon is their best danceable song I think, especially the rilly quick bit about making her stomach turn, that bit gets me every time.

― chris, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

watching RickyT drum and sing along to 'mania' is classic, specially whilst drunk.

― katie, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Katie, are you saying 'Not Too Soon' is both ROCKIST and 'one of their poppiest efforts'? Now I'm confused.

― Nick, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

erm, yes. heheheheheh :)

― katie, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The weight being lifted was not the illusion, the sensation of the bottom dropping out of my world was the illusion.

When you have been carrying a weight for so long, when it is lifted, it produces a sensation of weightlessness.

I am still dazed and somewhat in shock, but overwhelming, the sensation is good, one of relief, of vindication, and the feeling of "I'm not crazy. I'm not mad."

― kate, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

likes Beck TOo Much

Given that too much = anything more than slightly, this is the understatement of the century.

― RickyT, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Beck is the emperors new clothes

― chris, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Who is naked underneath Beck?

― Nick, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

is someone somewhere unable to actually see beck? that sounds like a great premise for a tv show. sort of oddball psychic detectives a la randall and hopkirk, "Madonna and Beck (invisible)" perhaps

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Inaudible? We can but dream..

― Tom, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"The Invisible Inaudible Beck Mysteries". Right, where is that ITV commisioning officers phone number.

Episode One: Popster Beck Hansen finds that due to an intergalatic cosmic mix-up he has become both invisible and inauble to the rest of the word except for Stephen Malkmus. As worrying as this may be for him, his new found status helps him solve the mystery of the missing Pavement record. (The mystery being that anyone missed it).

― Pete, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Episode 2: Prince becomes increasingly annoyed as his clothes begin to go missing mysteriously. Then he and invisible inaudible Beck become a hilariously mismatched comic duo. Malkmus is killed off by Symbol shaped guitar thing.

― Ronan, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Surely Beck redeems himself by being in one of the funniest episodes of futurama? For being in the same episode as Silon and Garfunkel mr Hansen wins a place in my heart.

― Jonnie, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh GOD where can i get this episode??? futurama + beck = boyfriend will think he died and gone to heaven!

― katie, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Episode Three: Despite rumours already of the show being pulled due to Cilla Black's envy of it's peak time slot. Malkmus is brought back from the dead by the evil genius of Trevor Horn who clones him from an old toenail, Malkmus toe nail happens to be the evil sun tanned Californian hippy Malkmus. And the new evil "toenail" Malkmus reaps havoc on the indie world. Everyone calls on the Preston School of Industry to save the day, but they are weak and ineffectual. Strangely no one sees or hears anything of the Inaudible Invisible Beck. Pop Will Eat Itself sing the closing credits with a tear- jerking version of Grebo Guru.

― Martin, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Poppies boyf was also a HMHB fan (this addressed in reply to Sarah way up thread) and could not understand my exasperated resistance. Will I never meet a compatible record collection?

― Emma, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

this beck show = even worse than "randall and hopkirk (deceased) (slight return)"

― mark s, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Season 3, Episode 42 "Bendin' In The Wind" (I looked that up by the way as opposed to knowing it off the top of my head like a freak).

― Jonnie, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

fank you johnnie! *blows kiss*

― katie, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Kate: is mad.

― DV, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Discussion of code colours: Think about brown. Sorry.

― Bill, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sarah (or even Ricky T): Does he have the Tijuana Brass Going Places? That is a good one. !Bollocks! My secret love of the TB revealed!

― Bill, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have a little soft spot for them but not more than a couple of tracks at a time.

― Samantha, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hi Katie, Don't pay any attention to who may say your insane.! It's bad enough when we think so of ourselves! Well, neither one of us are. What I think it appears to being very sensitive, and take all the abuse & crap to hold everything together without making waves. Well I couldn't care less anymore and say exactly what's on my mind! If people have a problem with that oh well! I'm really glad that you feel better Katie. Gale <div class='postcontrol'><p><span class='posterinfo'>― <span class='name'><a title='Click here for more information about this user' href='/ILX/ViewUserProfileControllerServlet?messageid=48&boardid=40&threadid=3699'>Gale Deslongchamps</a></span>, <span class='extendeddate'><span class='date'>Saturday, 1 December 2001 01:00</span> <em class='howlongago'>(twenty-two years ago)</em></span> <span class="functions"> <span class="functions"><span class="permalink"><a href="/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?showall=true&bookmarkedmessageid=48&boardid=40&threadid=3699">link</a></span></span></span></p></div></div> </form> <br /> <div class="formsection"><strong>You must be logged in to post. Please either <a href="/ILX/Pages/login.jsp">login here</a>, or if you are not registered, you may <a href="Pages/register.jsp">register here</a>.</strong></div> </div> <div class='menubar'><a class='highlightmenubuttongreen' href='/ILX/SiteNewAnswersControllerServlet'>Site New Answers</a> <a class='menubutton' href='/ILX/Pages/Search/search.jsp'>Search</a> <a class='menubutton' href='/ILX/index.jsp'>Boards</a> <a title='I Love Music' class='highlightmenubuttongreen' href='/ILX/NewAnswersControllerServlet?boardid=41'>ILM</a> <a class='highlightmenubuttongreen' href='/ILX/NewAnswersControllerServlet?boardid=40'>ILE Answers</a> <a class='menubutton' href='/ILX/AskNewQuestionControllerServlet?boardid=40'>New Question</a> <a class='menubutton' href='/ILX/RecentQuestionsControllerServlet?boardid=40&offset=0'>New Questions</a> <a class='menubutton' href='/ILX/EnterPollInformationControllerServlet?boardid=40'>New Poll</a> <a class='menubutton' href='/ILX/BlogViewControllerServlet?boardid=40'>Blog View</a> <a class='highlightmenubutton' href='/ILX/Pages/register.jsp'>Register</a> <a class='highlightmenubutton' href='/ILX/Pages/login.jsp'>Login</a> </div> </body> </html>