Wtf, an Internet penis robot claims my erect willy is longer than with 98,4% of all men! (mod: penis pics)

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Surely some mistake?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Congratulations. What you going to do with it?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Give the Internet penis robot the time of its life.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:02 (nineteen years ago) link

How did you... actually don't answer that.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:02 (nineteen years ago) link

I think it's just trying to flatter you so it can bed you down.

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:03 (nineteen years ago) link

Internet penis robots, they'll say anything

― Stevem On X (blueski), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:03 (nineteen years ago) link

also Tuomas, way to brag

― Stevem On X (blueski), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:03 (nineteen years ago) link

pics pls?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:03 (nineteen years ago) link

This is why Tuomas is surrounded by happy people in every pic he posts.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:03 (nineteen years ago) link

"The Finns are known to be mighty men..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

All those dudes that Tom of Finland portrayed? Drawn from the life.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

'Internet penis robot'...you shouldn't believe everything you read in internet chat rooms.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Okay, apparently it was using the Kinsey study as a frame of reference. I changed that to Durex study(?), and the percentage went down to 88. Still...

I mean, I've only seen erect penises of other men in porn films, but they don't look shorter than mine!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:12 (nineteen years ago) link

How did you... actually don't answer that.

I measured it as a teenager (hasn't everyone?). Haven't done it ever since, but I doubt it would've gotten smaller.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:13 (nineteen years ago) link

wait, how does this work? how does an internet penis robot KNOW how long your penis is?

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:13 (nineteen years ago) link

let us be the judge tuomas. show us the money.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:13 (nineteen years ago) link

oh, you measure. now i get it.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:14 (nineteen years ago) link

tell us your size and we'll judge accordingly T

― Stevem On X (blueski), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:14 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost i think you type it in, and then it tells you which penile percentile you fall into.

xpost again

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:14 (nineteen years ago) link

wait, how does this work? how does an internet penis robot KNOW how long your penis is?

That little green led in your computer, it's actually a camera...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:15 (nineteen years ago) link

caitlin, yes that was the question I thought better of.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Here's the address of the English version of the bot, if you're interested:

http://www.geocities.com/javafinn/comparator.html

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:16 (nineteen years ago) link

i would be but i, uh, haven't got a penis

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:18 (nineteen years ago) link

The dimensions of the picture are not the same as reality.

read: Do Not Press Dick Against Computer Screen

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:18 (nineteen years ago) link

wait, how does this work? how does an internet penis robot KNOW how long your penis is?

That little green led in your computer, it's actually a camera...

except in tuomas's case the led is the size of a lightbulb.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:19 (nineteen years ago) link

it seems like in the kinsey thing there are 30% of men who have their length between 5.98inches and 6 inches!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:25 (nineteen years ago) link

so hang on. Judging by the question,

This willy is longer with a robot than with 98.4 percent of other men?

Speaking personally, mine is longer with my wife.

Cheers.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Why is there no snippy Barry Lasagne post on this thread?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:34 (nineteen years ago) link

SNIPPY!!!!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:37 (nineteen years ago) link

p.s. still waiting for pics tuomas.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:37 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.shutitdown.net/img/fansigns/computer%20penis.jpg

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:46 (nineteen years ago) link

you didn't have to add an i to the http dude

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:49 (nineteen years ago) link

That reminds me, must buy some wienerschnitzel.

― Masked Gazza, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 17:01 (nineteen years ago) link

I thought that said Luna on the computer screen for a minute!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:02 (nineteen years ago) link

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:14 (nineteen years ago) link

That's not Luna. I don't think.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:19 (nineteen years ago) link

herpeniswillsurpriseyou@hotmail.com

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:20 (nineteen years ago) link

So, Tuomas's penis is 7.87 inches.

― Informer, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Nor do I. But still.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:22 (nineteen years ago) link

So Tuomas has a big ol' dick. Let's throw a party.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:24 (nineteen years ago) link

No, seriously, let's.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:27 (nineteen years ago) link

A roast, maybe?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:27 (nineteen years ago) link

thats big?

― come on sock it to me, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:29 (nineteen years ago) link

i mean it isnt small but , i m sorry

― come on sock it to me, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:29 (nineteen years ago) link

It's hard to tell how big it is from that pic as you can't really see where it *ahem* joins on. I demand a newer and more improved picture!

― papa november (papa november), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:32 (nineteen years ago) link

If I had a big weiner, I would so throw a party for it.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:34 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd be the entertainment for your party.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Does it count if I purchase one?

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Dammit, are dildoes still party-worthy? I must know.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:38 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm surprised that the condom company's report has the average man larger than the others. I would expect them to, uh, low-ball it and make their customers feel better.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:39 (nineteen years ago) link

You could buy one, Luna. (ah, xpost)

I don't think that's the URL (or general size) of all of Tuomas's other pix.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes and of course and that's ALL I WILL SAY.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Penises are kind of odd looking. Like skinless frankfurts that have been left on high in the microwave and turned themselves inside out.

― papa november (papa november), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Ew.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

I let that mypeniswillsurpriseyou@hotmail address lapse. I am ashamed.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:05 (nineteen years ago) link

omg the site where that penis pic came from is weird!! it's full of people writing "i love lina" on their bodyparts!!

http://www.shutitdown.net/fansigns.html

(they've helpfully pixelated the penis pics - when you move your mouse over it it depixelates!)

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:15 (nineteen years ago) link

For some reason I felt the need to look at every single one of those pixelated penis pics.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:27 (nineteen years ago) link

OK NONE of those were pixelated on my computer.

― Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:29 (nineteen years ago) link

Me neither!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Same here.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:31 (nineteen years ago) link

The uncircumsized guy with absolutely no testicles was really disturbing for some reason.

― Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:32 (nineteen years ago) link

"for some reason"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:40 (nineteen years ago) link

I wonder who lina is. If it's lina from fromamouth.net I love her too.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:50 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't WAIT to get home and paste that URL.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Great -- now put on a pair of bootyshorts, write "LINA" on your cheek, and take a snapshot for us!

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 19:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Penises are so cool.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 20:03 (nineteen years ago) link

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in a sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't
come back
again.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 20:05 (nineteen years ago) link

There once was a man from nantucket

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 20:21 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm glad the hotdog meme still thrives.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 20:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Hmm, I just thought of an alternate for lines 3 and 4 of that one. (xpost)

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 20:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Just in case you didn't get it, that's not my dick, it's the first random penis pic I found on the net. Just wanted to shock Ken C...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:26 (nineteen years ago) link

i didn't get tuomas's dick :(

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 27 January 2005 16:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Don't worry, you can have it for your birthday!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Is there a return policy?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:16 (nineteen years ago) link

Incidentally, can we call you Muomas from now on?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:19 (nineteen years ago) link

first cum first served.

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 27 January 2005 17:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Last time I read ILX whilst eating footy franks.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 28 January 2005 01:26 (nineteen years ago) link

which of those penises is your favorite?

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 28 January 2005 01:36 (nineteen years ago) link

http://members.iinet.net.au/~tiki/temp/backpiece4nz.jpg

― charleston charge (chaki), Friday, 28 January 2005 01:37 (nineteen years ago) link

oh dear. i gather man-mermaids (mermen?) are more anatomically correct than the female ones.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 28 January 2005 01:39 (nineteen years ago) link

omg

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 28 January 2005 01:39 (nineteen years ago) link

It's like the Southern Oracle of Dick!

― papa november (papa november), Friday, 28 January 2005 01:52 (nineteen years ago) link

I think that man might be gay.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:27 (nineteen years ago) link

So is the right nipple an ON switch or what?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Last time I read ILX whilst eating footy franks.

footy franks is exactly what i feel like eating right now...

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:33 (nineteen years ago) link

DON'T SCROLL UP then.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:38 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 28 January 2005 08:57 (nineteen years ago) link

is footy franks the same thing as a football ground pie?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 28 January 2005 09:19 (nineteen years ago) link

"Football ground pie"?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 28 January 2005 13:19 (nineteen years ago) link

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