Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

do you think calvin and suzy ever got together

i met a friend's girlfriend for the first time yesterday, and she was really into momus' music. and i felt bad, because she was trying to ask me about certain records by him or whatever, but all i could think of was certain threads from ilx: the momus years. anyway that should go on "too much time on ilx thread". sorry. it's a disease.

I have Munchausen's Flag Post-itis

I so don't get this whole "negging" thing. I can't imagine how that would make anyone more attracted to you.

Does it go along with this weird, bitter "no girls ever go for nice guys, only assholes!" thing some guys seem hung up on?

in momus related okc news, my ex and i realized we were both at the same momus show in boston like 10 years ago and it was the pivotal point of realizing we both didn't really like momus's music and that he kinda sucked.

happier times....of mutual momus disappreciation

you'd think that's enough to build a relationship on but no!

lol!

I remember my first bf was talking about a Creation records video compilation I had, back in the late 80s, and he said "Hairstyle of the Devil" "sounds like a shitty pet shop boys song".

momus at his best was totally a shittier version of the pet shop boys ("the end of history" comes to mind)

my first live-in boyfriend was obsessed with momus and used to correspond with him over email, his band recorded a cover of one of his songs and he posted about it in his blog salivating of the asian girl vox of his band member...of course.

I remember my first bf was talking about a Creation records video compilation I had, back in the late 80s, and he said "Hairstyle of the Devil" "sounds like a shitty pet shop boys song".

that woman mentioned that song but all i could think of was the similarly-named beck song

i really like some of momus' early music (the earlyish creation/el stuff i guess), never delved into his later stuff but more from underexposure. also i never quite understood why people gave him such a hard time on here.

that woman = my friend's gf.

well there was that whole thing about him marrying a 14 year old...

ok, i missed that

i remember him marrying and there were some legal issues but i don't remember it having to do with the age of the bride

anyways, i have decided i want to date myself. i'm really awesome on my own. i played music for like 5 hours this weekend and wrote several new songs, downloaded ableton live and am trying to figure it out, made some seriously amazing food, read some sci-fi in the park, and hung out with a cool cat. what else do i really need?

eh, cat was okay

i beg to differ!

"being in a relationship is really UNDERRATED"

no, i'm not sure if that works...

anyways, i have decided i want to date myself. i'm really awesome on my own.

Pretty much where I'm at. Well, more like, "if I'm gonna give up me-time, it's gonna be for the benefit of friends who I know well and trust and who probably aren't just gonna up and ditch my ass out of the blue".

haha i know she's p. cool xps

i mean being close to someone is obv. really amazing at times and you know, there's a reason there's a whole body of popular culture centered around it which can't be completely attributed to exploiting ppl's vain desires or crass economic motives. but, people are really complicated... if you are presented with maddening aspects of yourself, just living solely by yourself on a daily basis, then how can you possibly expect to get on that close with others? i mean there's always hopefully room for some great alchemy and complementariness but tbh at times i don't understand why everyone who gets married doesn't end up killing their spouse. i want to believe and in fact do honestly believe that many of my friends or family who are married are largely happy/healthily so wrapped up, but also i can't help but think they are diplomatic and mature and unselfish in ways that might forever elude me in this life

but this is a good cat-dragging thread, i will agree

I've become so cynical that I've started to believe that a lot of people get married to make it harder for their partner to leave them.

yeah to be honest there was a period of time for about a year and a half where i was miserable with myself, was not treating my depression or anxiety, and dating was just a nightmare - i would always end up being either rejected or faded out and it would always be excruciatingly painful. of course it would mean that i must be a worthless human being. since i got on a better medication/therapy regimen and have pretty much kicked my depression's ass (and working on anxiety) i am both much more easy going about dating - i let things roll off my back, if something doesn't work out it doesn't work out and it doesn't make me a horrible person just because one specific person doesn't realize how awesome i am. it's so amazing to be at this point where my relationship ended and the person treated me pretty crappily and is probably already dating the model he was hitting on at the party and i'm not feeling down on myself about it. this would not have happened a year ago.

i'm actually optimistic about being single, for a change.

i feel like i have nothing to be worried about. i don't really see myself getting married or having children ever so it's ok for things to fail - there's no deadline for me.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvlj4xVLat1ql1xwpo1_500.png

I've become so cynical that I've started to believe that a lot of people get married to make it harder for their partner to leave them.

you finally figured it out

A small part of me wonders if I was against kids not because I didnt want any (tho thats also true) but because I knew I'd end up a single mum if I had've. And I would have, so.

Are you just trying to jinx it with this "didn't" and "would have" stuff?

I'm not sure if I follow you but am I inferring rightly that you think I may still change my mind on children? Because hahahahahaaaaaaaaa no.

So I'm trying this and I think I'm not very good at it bcz all I've got is stupid-ass neg messages which I've replied to with total scorched earth ripostes, Abbott don't play that game, you know???

I did have a nice talk w/a guy about PRINCE tho

I'm even worse, I never reply to any messages I get even when the guy is just trying to be nice, cos I think "ehhhh". I'm useless and too fussy :(

I guess I just cant do half assed stuff.

thats not a bad thing on a dating site. i did swing a 2nd date btw :D (that's probably the last i will post about it.)

I totally think I might want a kid, eventually. It does seem to add a level of stress.

I'll usually reply to a message if it's at all clear that someone has actually read my profile beforehand but not so much when it's from someone I don't seem to have anything in common with who's all like, "OOH, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!" I mean...yeah, I guess we're both breathing and survive largely thanks to the consumption of food, so I guess it's all a question of perspective at the end of the day...

I've met and wasted time on more than enough "THANK GOD, ANOTHER WARM BODY!" low-expectation ladies in my time, thank you very much.

Yeah thats another thing that puts me off a bit, is ppl who you cant work out *why* they messaged you. I got one the other day from a rather normal, country-lookin feller, nothing offensive.... he said he'd been looking at my profile heaps and his curiosity was "peeked" (aaaargh), but DIDN'T SAY WHY. Our match was low, I couldnt see anything in HIS profile that caught my eye, and I was left baffled.

Oh also, I think he had kids.

"I noticed you were female..."

2 years.. still havent met anyone from this stupid fucking thing

And people wonder why I have given up on OKC....

"you prefer young men and I prefer old. Where have you been?"

o_0

- if you meant old men, I think yr barking up the wrong tree
- if you meant old women, WHO YOU CALLING OLD, SMARTARSE?!

Tch.

I think the biggest problem with OKC is that the user base can be (very roughly) divided into two camps: a) people who are generally functional but just have trouble meeting potential dating partners and b) people who specifically frequent online dating sites because they're offputtingly dysfunctional and know that delaying face-to-face interaction is the only chance they have at dating. And then, of course, there's a good number of people in group b) who can't even make it past the online pre-interview without setting off all kinds of alarms.

Short of living in the boonies, I don't get why the first camp would have trouble meeting potential dating partners IRL. Meeting people IRL and striking up conversations >>> flipping through carefully-honed online profiles methinks.

The best three relationships I've ever had in my life were all with women I wouldn't have given a second glance to if I'd only known them from an online description. It's only after getting to know them IRL that I realized how amazing they were.

Short of living in the boonies, I don't get why the first camp would have trouble meeting potential dating partners IRL

...seriously? I mean, I'm a single, reasonably laid back gal with plenty of friends and social connections and fucked if I've been able to find any dates in about a year now. I mean everyone male and single is "potential" I guess but that doesnt help much when you constantly think "well Im not going to ask this person I know out because it will ruin our friendship/they will think I'm a creep/they really dont lke me much probably/etc etc

I mean my social life, such as it is (and it hasnt been much which admittedly is my own fault lately) is the same group of people all the time, there isnt much new blood in the mix when you hit 40 and your friends groups have become fairly established.