poo: POO

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so, where have you had your most satisfying poo? at the home loo? work loo? on a plane? in a field?

my favourite loo is on the 2nd floor of the building i used to work at, it wasn't actually a nice loo, it was tiny and smells a bit funny, but it was just the right size and it was my own little domain when i am there, i think a lot of my best thoughts over the past year was originated from there.

However, I think the best poo i ever did was halfway through a gig at Rock City, Nottingham. It wasn't even like the band was crap (sorry), but it was just satisfying when i think that "yeah, nice gig, but i shat through your set, i'm that cool".

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 2 May 2004 22:43 (nineteen years ago) link

no at home. anywhere else and i dont feel comfortable.

― CAss (CAss), Sunday, 2 May 2004 22:47 (nineteen years ago) link

ken c this thread is childish. well done.

― omg, Sunday, 2 May 2004 22:54 (nineteen years ago) link

no its light hearted and fun. not like all the other threads where ppl simply bitch about how other people are spealling things. we need to loosen up

― CAss (CAss), Sunday, 2 May 2004 22:55 (nineteen years ago) link

sourry

― omg, Sunday, 2 May 2004 22:57 (nineteen years ago) link

we need to loosen up

yes it'll be good for our moral FIBER I suppose, har har

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 2 May 2004 22:59 (nineteen years ago) link

John, what genre do you want to be on my iPod?

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 2 May 2004 23:01 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm gonna have to go with rabbit poo. Small, compact, easily cleaned up, and damned cute, actually.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 3 May 2004 00:47 (nineteen years ago) link

folkolonic

(xpost)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 3 May 2004 00:48 (nineteen years ago) link

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:ohAdzhfr9skJ:www.ickle.org/images/rabbitpoo

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 3 May 2004 00:49 (nineteen years ago) link

roxymuzak otm

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 3 May 2004 00:50 (nineteen years ago) link

as opposed to otp haha

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 3 May 2004 00:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Ken, you have really gone off the rails. Cheers!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 3 May 2004 01:41 (nineteen years ago) link

ken otr

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 3 May 2004 12:09 (nineteen years ago) link

come on kids, tell me about your poo

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 3 May 2004 12:12 (nineteen years ago) link

otr! I'm so using that from now on (fno).

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 3 May 2004 13:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Have you ever seen a sheep poo? It looks like candy dropping out of a candy machine.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 3 May 2004 13:33 (nineteen years ago) link

I have! It smells awful despite it's confectionary drop-stylings. Surprisingly the second least-offensive poo smell is that of a cow, in my opinion. Horses - BLECH.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 3 May 2004 13:38 (nineteen years ago) link

not like all the other threads where ppl simply bitch about how other people are spealling things

I laughed so hard... it was my favorite poo.

― martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 3 May 2004 16:01 (nineteen years ago) link

i haave desidid two lusen up an not wurry abuot spealling misteaks two.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 3 May 2004 16:08 (nineteen years ago) link

I still like the idea Roxy was calling John's music as fitting under the rabbit poo description. Yay for xposts!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 May 2004 16:14 (nineteen years ago) link

still waiting for this thread to lure Bryan out of ILX Retirement.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 May 2004 16:41 (nineteen years ago) link

one month passes...

ok, yesterday i pooed at the goddam empire state building. i knew god put me into this world for a purpose.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 00:54 (nineteen years ago) link

they're still unblocking the elevators

― Patrick Kinghorn, Wednesday, 9 June 2004 01:55 (nineteen years ago) link

nine months pass...

holy shit.

i thought i had it bad today. twice in one morning and i still have trouble sitting down even now, 10 minutes after the second phase. I'm still trying to think what I had eaten that had so much chilli in it!! All the dinners I've had lately were noodles and roast chicken..

But as I said.. I thought *I* had it bad - but half way through the work poo, somebody went into the office cubicle and oh. my. god! He got in the huffing and puffing and you can hear every plomp of every drop! Jesus almighty he was really struggling - he was panting as if he was on the run from a loan shark, or something. Well, he certainly was on some kind of run.

My own bum was hurting but you had to laugh really when some guy walks in and made you sing that radiohead Creep song in your head. "heeee'sss rrunnning out the doooorrrrrrr, he'sss running outttt.. run...run .. runn..ruunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" oh my.

Then he left, and somebody ELSE got into that cubicle and had another marathon! I've never seen (well, heard) the place so busy! I think basically everybody have been drinking on the bank holiday and as we all know, post-beer poos are deadly.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 09:55 (nineteen years ago) link

somebody went into the office cubicle and..

oh my god why did i say that?? i meant the next toilet cubicle!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 09:56 (nineteen years ago) link

post-beer poos are deadly

This is true, but the 1st poo the morning after is always enormously satisfying.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 10:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Satisfying it certainly is. It's even better when you don't have to work that morning. Not hurried, you're sitting there on the john elbows on knees, head on hands, looking down. During each labour you close your eyes, staring at the spinning darkness, as all the while the pain rushes through below.

You're not feeling well, in fact every part of your body is exerting discomfort, yet they combine in such perfect harmony. Conducted by the knowledge that it was the product of a wonderful evening's drinking and merryment.

You savour every minute of this, knowing that nobody can harm you here, you're safe, there is nothing that you have to think about. You can let everything go, and relax, as another weight is pushed away from you. And you hope that there'll be another one to come all over again, and again, forever.

Until you have to wipe your arse and then it hurts like hell, that bit sucks.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 11:34 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm still trying to think what I had eaten that had so much chilli in it!! All the dinners I've had lately were noodles and roast chicken..

OH MY GOD.

I just remembered that I ate a whole PLATE of jalapeno chillis last night from Alix and Rachel's Nachos. yup that'd do it.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 11:51 (nineteen years ago) link

My tum tum is gearing up to expel a biggie. I'm dying with the cold and all day I've been eating nothing but cold remedies with the warning "Exessive consumption may produce laxative effects."

I'm baking it until I get home though and I can poo in my lovely safe bathroom while reading Wild Swans.

― Rumpsy Pumpsy (Rumpie), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 15:59 (nineteen years ago) link

aww.. wild brown swans, swimming in the lake

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 16:02 (nineteen years ago) link

On Saturday night I went to Colette's little easter egg painting party (I made a Godzilla egg, it was great), and then we got very drunk, and then she talked me into eating one of the tablets of food dye which we'd been using to colour the eggs (cos they made a big deal about being non toxic on the box and we wondered what would happen). So I did, and at first my tongue went blue but nothing else happened. Then in the morning I got up and had a poo and MY POO WAS BLUE! And it stayed blue all weekend. This is a true story. I even took a photograph, although I'll probably never show it to anybody.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 16:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Please post this picture.

and also to here, surely http://www.ratemypoo.com/

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 16:51 (nineteen years ago) link

(xpost) You can't just bring that up and then... < / sarcasm>

― Girolamo Savonarola, Tuesday, 29 March 2005 16:52 (nineteen years ago) link

I'll email it to you ken.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 17:10 (nineteen years ago) link

yay!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 17:11 (nineteen years ago) link

I can conclude that JimD has done a great job for mankind!! That shit is phat!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 12:33 (nineteen years ago) link

1.5Mb of sweetcorn mayhem!!!!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 12:33 (nineteen years ago) link

and we're talking BLUE AND GREEN sweetcorns!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 12:34 (nineteen years ago) link

ten months pass...

revive!!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 31 January 2006 16:02 (eighteen years ago) link

two years pass...

cuttlefish and ink speghetti = BLACK POO PLEASURE, BITCH.

― Fake Tuomas (ken c), Wednesday, 5 November 2008 15:48 (fifteen years ago) link

Coincidences, Whoo.....

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 November 2008 15:50 (fifteen years ago) link

did yours turn your poo whoo?

― Fake Tuomas (ken c), Wednesday, 5 November 2008 15:54 (fifteen years ago) link

can i be on your poo loo team?

― Skipping 1 messages at this point... (PappaWheelie V), Wednesday, 5 November 2008 16:02 (fifteen years ago) link

hi dere

― I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 5 November 2008 16:03 (fifteen years ago) link

haha erm what is it made?

we just need garu g now

― Fake Tuomas (ken c), Wednesday, 5 November 2008 16:28 (fifteen years ago) link

seven years pass...

bean to bar

― big Mahats (mattresslessness), Friday, 8 January 2016 23:46 (eight years ago) link

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