friendship

and stab them

does anyone else think people need less friendship as they get older?

i don't know if i'd put it exactly that way, but yeah. i think the kind of group vibe being discussed nostalgically in the other thread is not really sustainable past one's early twenties. but i am kind of a recluse these days so

yes. it's sad to 'say goodbye' to my group of friends, but I feel it's an effort to sustain a group aesthetic when it's been years since we had anything in common the way we used to.

http://www.wilsonquarterly.com/article.cfm?AID=1631

just finished reading this article which I thought was quite interesting. found this interesting:

But we live now in a climate in which friends appear dispensable. While most of us wouldn’t last long outside the intricate web of interdependence that supplies all our physical needs—imagine no electricity, money, or sewers—we’ve come to demand of ourselves truly radical levels of emotional self-sufficiency. In America today, half of adults are unmarried, and more than a quarter live alone. As Robert Putnam showed in his 2000 book Bowling Alone, civic involvement and private associations were on the wane at the end of the 20th century. Several years later, social scientists made headlines with a survey showing that Americans had a third fewer nonfamily confidants than two decades earlier. A quarter of us had no such confidants at all.

especially as juxtaposed with my experiences for the past few years where I've lived in, for better or worse, what is termed a 'collectivist' culture where people seemingly rely strongly on their circle of friends for support for all matters of life.

ilx has eliminated my need for all other human relationship

tl;dr People who value friends will have them.

especially as juxtaposed with my experiences for the past few years where I've lived in, for better or worse, what is termed a 'collectivist' culture where people seemingly rely strongly on their circle of friends for support for all matters of life.

Well, so did I, though my 20s and my early 30s. And then found that it did not last into my late 30s, as I increasingly diverged from the life paths that others were following. YMMV.

I sometimes wonder whether I have a lot of acquaintances but no friends. I mean, if I was someone's friend I would be there for them when things are bad, and vv? I'm not sure either of these are actually the case. sigh.

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― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara)

Divorce also takes its toll; most of us over the age of 30 are familiar with the social consequences that ripple outward from a split-up, as foursomes for dinner or bridge are destroyed and friends may find themselves having to pick sides

dunno, i am in my late thirties and i can't think of anyone i know in my generation that has gotten divorced

also, lol, bridge? what decade was this article written in?

not to be overly glib, though... i do appreciate the sentiments of the article. it reminds me of some piece i read 15 years ago which tried to attribute some of the popularity of 'seinfeld' and 'friends' to their depictions of close friendships that were absent from most americans' lives

I know people my age who're divorced -- a handful of them, anyway. See "Signs you are getting lol old."

Only have a couple divorced friends but in my family, divorce is booming. Good job Shasta family!

I know lots of divorcees in my age cohort. In fact I know one couple who will divorce shortly. It was the second marriage of each. This is all bizarre to me.

I wish I had a bridge group.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDQt4KLRT4M

people barely care about each other, right? temporarily? caring isn't eternal

my sister getting killed a few years ago revived some shit