http://www.wwsm.co.uk/books/products/2548.jpg
After fifteen painstaking minutes of research, I have come to the following conclusion: Good 'ole "Honest Abe" Lincoln, thought to have been asssassinated, actually survived. He was put in a witness protection program, so he surgically shortened his legs, shaved most of his beard to disguise himself and moved to England. After getting an infection in his leg from the leg-shortening surgery, he became dreanged and delusional. When a prostitute happened to look at him funny he thought she recognized him from his previous life. He killed her on the spot and murdered five more prostitutes over the next few months. Finally John Wilkes Booth (also secretly still alive) was hired by the US and British governments to finish off the job he had failed at more than twenty years earlier. And that was that. Abe's corpse was brought back to America and cremated. The ashes were scattered over Lincoln, Nebraska by incompetent Secret Service agents in the mistaken belief that it was Abe's hometown.
I cannot confirm any of this, but I am absolutely, positively 100% correct.
― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 24 April 2004 01:27 (nineteen years ago) link
― Huck, Saturday, 24 April 2004 01:31 (nineteen years ago) link
Witnesses described the suspect seen with the victims right before their deaths as "foreign". It was popularly believed that Jack was an American...
They both lived in the 19th Century.
Abe Lincoln was a master of disguise. (Actually I have no evidence of this, but it makes sense).
― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 24 April 2004 01:32 (nineteen years ago) link
― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 24 April 2004 01:34 (nineteen years ago) link
― Huck, Saturday, 24 April 2004 01:36 (nineteen years ago) link
― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 24 April 2004 01:39 (nineteen years ago) link
― Huck, Saturday, 24 April 2004 01:55 (nineteen years ago) link
― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 24 April 2004 02:09 (nineteen years ago) link
― Johnney B (Johnney B), Saturday, 24 April 2004 18:23 (nineteen years ago) link
― Skottie, Saturday, 24 April 2004 19:41 (nineteen years ago) link
― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 24 April 2004 22:37 (nineteen years ago) link
Hahaha!
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 7 April 2006 08:49 (seventeen years ago) link
― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 7 April 2006 08:54 (seventeen years ago) link
*minus one
― latebloomer: someone's been drinking my youth! (latebloomer), Saturday, 8 April 2006 08:41 (seventeen years ago) link
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42334000/jpg/_42334428_jacktheripper_203b.jpg
― StanM (StanM), Monday, 20 November 2006 18:55 (seventeen years ago) link
― stoked for the madness (nickalicious), Monday, 20 November 2006 18:58 (seventeen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 20 November 2006 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link
y'all know i'm right
― balloon in a sack (latebloomer), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 01:57 (fifteen years ago) link