This Is The Thread Where We Contemplate Killing Our Roommates

tonight. this very night. we were supposed to have his send off party.
but no.
yesterday he gets the call telling him they're shipping him to quebec instead of vancouver and will have to wait another 3 weeks.
3 more weeks of this insipid twit. at least. i don't think he will ever leave. in 3 weeks it will be something else. he (+ the other roommate through his influence) have also become even more intolerable over the past months.

i have decided the time for being polite is over. after drinking all of his booze (there was alot) i informed him that i wished he'd just get hit by a bus. after the vodka was gone i accused him of being some horrible hallucination/figment of my imagination a la fight club.

REVIVE because I seriously wanted to kill my roommates last night. A lot of screaming into the pillow and crying in sheer frustration occurred. My room is connected by a door to the bathroom, so sound travels really well, and I've mentioned to my roommates who go in to shower after I've gone to bed that it wakes me when the door and toilet seat open and close loudly. This doesn't stop it from happening almost every damn night, and last night I was really upset and over-tired when I went to bed at 12:30, so being woken up by the door slamming at 2, the shower going on, and being unable to fall back asleep because I was lying awake in expectation for the door to shut again, and then hearing someone else go in after the first person went out, was really frustrating. I have really tried to avoid being a passive aggressive roommate but I am SO TIRED and SO MAD, I can't deal with having chunks taken out of my sleep in the middle of the night every night, and I don't know how to bring this up without screaming at someone because DID I MENTION I'M STILL TIRED? Can I just take the door off the hinges and say "sorry you guys had privacy but you deserve it no longer"?

Argh. thanks for listening ILX.

My sympathies, Maria!

(I also admit Chuck's just above is causing paralytic laughter.)

Haha yeah, sounds like an overly exciting house! My situation is complicated by the fact that my new housemates are actually friends I've known for years, so I can't just make fun of them and never see them again after the lease is up.

You can have a reasonable talk with them if you preface it with "I am overtired and touchier than usual about this". I also recommend trying a towel at the base of the door, which might muffle the sound enough to make it tolerable.

Generally speaking, though, if they are long-term friends they should be sympathetic to "I'm sorry to be a pain about this but this is really driving me insane and I don't know what I can do about it" line of argument.

http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-Screen-980A-Electro-Mechanical-Conditioner/dp/B000BQYP1S

This is an awesome appliance and I highly recommend it. You can put it at the base of the door between your bathroom and your room, and it won't necessarily cover the bathroom sounds, but it will make the bathroom sounds just another thread in a fuzzy tapestry of gentle, soothing noise. This machine works in our apartment to muffle the sounds of: my upstairs neighbor singing, playing loud music, having enthusiastic and vocal sex; and the supermarket parking lot that is located directly under our bedroom window, and all of the attendant noise, including carts crashing, cars revving, delivery trucks backing up, drunk people singing, crazy people yelling, fights, and absurdly loud car radios.

showering at 2am is not reasonable behaviour, even in your crazily hygiene obsessed country.

Ha. I just assumed your roommates were restaurant employees, Maria.

roommates just have crazy college student sleeping schedules despite no longer being college students. dunno. it's not like i can say "please shower before midnight because i'm sleeping usually," they might as well just say "please never shower before noon, because i'm sleeping then."

and today i'm writing a check for $150 to get the gas turned on for heat...they decided in august, a couple weeks before i moved in, to have it turned off last time there was a plumber here so we wouldn't have to pay for heat in september. well, $150 is probably a higher bill than we would've had for that. awesome.

Now that's retarded.

The showering, though, I dunno what to say. Earplugs? Showering at night isn't a crime, and unless they're having loud conversations with each other through the door and generally slamming things around, being able to use the bathroom at any time of the day or night is a reasonable expectation.

If you don't need that connecting door to open later, I'd say pack the recess of the doorframe with moving blankets or insulation, and board it up temporarily. Or put a curtain rod on the wall and hang a heavy curtain in front of the door.

earplugs may help and they cost mere pennies. i'm generally a sound sleeper so i don't need them, but my bf needs them on weekend mornings to block the screaming & running around that comes through the ceiling from the two young kids upstairs.

Yeah, i can't say "don't shower." But i think it is reasonable to say "don't slam and latch the door when showering," because that's what makes the really loud noise (you have to slam to latch). and it's not like anyone's going to walk in with a light on and the shower running.

i do have a towel shoved under the connecting door, but it's not doing that much...maybe i need to tape up the top or something. earplugs are a possible solution, i've had to sleep with them when living near snorers and hate doing so on a nightly basis but if nothing else solves it there's not much else to do.

Stick tape across the latch when you go to bed? I dunno. Yeah, it sucks. Those days when you could just CRY you're so tired...I've been rly rly sick and had roommates throw parties when I had to wake up for work and they didn't....

On a Sunday night, mind you.

put a sign on the inside of your bathroom door: "Maria is Sleeping (-_-)...zzzzz"

tape! haha that could work. a little passive aggressive but probably more effective than just asking. and that's pretty rotten of your roommates....

what does turning the gas back on involve? surely you just have to turn a switch??

seriously--that white noise machine works wonders

if we could all live in castles then prob roommates wouldnt be so bad

on the other hand you could cover the bathroom door w/soundproofing

ask if someone wants to switch rooms if they can't keep the noise level down.

I have a broken leg. I've feel like I've run a marathon just walking from the bus. You're sitting in the front room watching TV. ANSWER THE CUNTING DOOR!

Woke up at 2am to the smell of frying wafting from the kitchen (which is adjacent to my bedroom). Roommate is making fried peanut butter sandwiches — using MY PEANUT BUTTER AND BREAD. The other roommate and I have both talked to him about not eating other peoples' food several times since I moved here in January, yet it still happens because, I suppose, he is always too stoned to remember. He also has this fucked-up way of keeping score — e.g. my using his knife somehow makes it okay for him to eat my avocados. The "you owe me" mentality is probably further compounded by the fact I was dumb enough to buy weed from him, which he would probably justify by saying he was doing me a "favor".

I wrote on the peanut butter jar in red sharpie: "Hello! I am peanut butter. I cost $3 at Dominick's. I belong to Corey because he paid $3 to buy me."

Everything he cooks involves frying oil which he heats too much and fills the house with burning oil smell. Every. Fucking. Time.

"Oh these aren't my dishes but I'll do them dude, whatever"

My other roommate and I wish he'd do something beyond the pale already so we can tell him to fuck off.

hmm, all of this is eerily reflective of my current situation:

i moved into this place in september. one of my housemates is an underemployed 33-year-old former bike messenger. seemed like an okay guy.

BUT: in the past month, i have: fed his cat for a week (cuz i love the cat more than he does and he's never home), bought the third bag of chicken feed for the chickens in as many months without so much as a blink from him (other housemates paid me back), done tons of his dishes, and even defended him to our landlord for not having rent in on time.

then, last monday, i left my...uh...fun-making sexual device soaking in some hot water. you know, to make it sanitary. he discovers it and freaks out and tells me i'm being disrespectful.

meanwhile he still hasn't paid november rent. the rest of us have already paid DECEMBER rent. he told one of us that he has a 'deal' with our landlord, which our landlord isn't aware of, since he keeps bugging us about this douche's rent.

in other words, fuck this asshole. come live in a huge room in Oakland for $500/month (no deposit) with a bunch of artists and punks. we have a garden and chickens.

Just moved into a new place, 21-year-old roommate decided to trip w a bunch of loud girls & break a bunch of stuff last night at 5am. Luckily I put a new lock on my door but I'm wondering how often this will happen...

i have: fed his cat for a week (cuz i love the cat more than he does and he's never home)

he told one of us that he has a 'deal' with our landlord, which our landlord isn't aware of, since he keeps bugging us about this douche's rent.

UGH this is EXACTLY what we dealt with when our last roommate still lived here (who was much, much worse than the one I complain about). When she was finally told to leave she took three weeks to get her shit out of the room I WAS PAYING TO RENT before we just threw it in the alley.

yeah, this guy needs to go, but i dunno how we're gonna pay for his rent.

it would add too much

I got lucky and only had to pay half of her rent, but it hit me (I didn't even have a regularly-paying job at the time) hard.

And actually in retrospect, that was a large part of the reason I was so stressed out and depressed this summer.

i mean, technically, if he doesn't pay both months by tomorrow, we can kick him out by the 15th, and only do half, which would be like 83$ more each for the month.

it would just be STRESSING ADDING ROOMIES

that's cool that your other roommates are willing to help foot the bill though.

This is why I no longer let people move in without last month's rent and a $100 deposit. I know it shrinks the potential roomie pool significantly, but I'd rather pay for the empty room while I wait for somebody with enough $... beats getting ripped off by deadbeats.

Woke up at 2am to the smell of frying wafting from the kitchen (which is adjacent to my bedroom). Roommate is making fried peanut butter sandwiches — using MY PEANUT BUTTER AND BREAD. The other roommate and I have both talked to him about not eating other peoples' food several times since I moved here in January, yet it still happens because, I suppose, he is always too stoned to remember. He also has this fucked-up way of keeping score — e.g. my using his knife somehow makes it okay for him to eat my avocados. The "you owe me" mentality is probably further compounded by the fact I was dumb enough to buy weed from him, which he would probably justify by saying he was doing me a "favor".

I wrote on the peanut butter jar in red sharpie: "Hello! I am peanut butter. I cost $3 at Dominick's. I belong to Corey because he paid $3 to buy me."

hard to tell if you're highlighting that for lolz or qft

Woah. I have no idea that copied but it wasn't intentional. My phone was on ilx in my pocket?!

hehe

Roommate is a month late on his minuscule rent. Tonight I walk in at 2 am and realize the motherfucker left the fridge door open for probably 12 hours without noticing after he loaded it this afternoon. Not a little either...all his food is probably ruined.

Can't wait for the woe is me post on FB tomorrow and the subsequent GoFundMe campaign to replace his spoiled yogurt.

^he moved in with his mama.

Finally landed a new place today. Glad cos this is what my roommates currently do:

-One of them apparently kept parking in front of the mailbox the week I was away housesitting, so mail didn't get delivered multiple days

-They leave their clothes in the laundry for days. I came back on Saturday temporarily before going out of town again, and the towels in our bathroom were all gone, presumably in the wash. I came back late last night... still gone. I share the bathroom with a 17 year old. He either apparently didn't shower those two days, or dried himself by...shaking?

-Blast their TV at 2:30 am

-Broke the door on the dryer

-Their cats are fairly untrained and shit outside my door and wail outside it while I try to work

-Have loud arguments

I finally snapped today during work and implored someone to deal with the cat who was making enough noise that people on my meeting could hear it.

Moving in two weeks. Thank fuck.

The only times in my life when I had roommates not of my choosing was in college. For a total of 5 terms. It was a misery unmatched. After that, up until I was married, I moved heaven and earth in order never to replicate that particular form of torture.

I can't afford to live here alone, and I can't do roommates after 25 years solo

So weird, when I was still living in my college town (even post college) my various roommates were cool and we hung out and, even as a kind of extreme introvert, I thought roommates were kinda nifty. And then pretty much every roommate sitch I had in Chicago ranged from 'nightmare' to 'nightmare where I scream until my larynx ruptures and also blood is pouring out of my eyes the whole time'.

I moved! I'm free of the motherfuckin devils

I was supposed to move in with a friend who i've known for years but her rental history got us denied so we decided to go our separate ways. I have another live-in landlord, though he's mostly chill and we kinda just do our own thing. also everything's included with the rent, including internet and electricity and water.

finally got my deposit back from old place - $17.46 of $550. $150 of the forfeited deposit came from replacing a broken dryer door that not only did I not break, but I discovered it already broken and had the roomies admit they discovered it broken (meaning the roomies likely broke it), ruining a marble counter top (that one was my fault), cleaning fees, and my idiot roommates' kid somehow losing two bath towels and a wash cloth while I was away housesitting.

i'm usually the cutthroat "i'll fight you over this" type but I actually just dgaf, the effort required to harass these idiots over it is less important to me than the freedom of never talking to them again. that feels wonderful.