got a question for ya, nothing vulgar this time, i promise

Now if I showed him my new PowerBook G4, he'd forget about everything else in the whole world. I'd have to smack him to get some time of my own for e-mail, he'd be up all night playing Escape Velocity or some shit nonstop and playing with all my settings.

12-year-old me: You still live here?
now me: No. I moved out for 7 years then bought the house off our parents.
12-year-old me: So basically you're telling me I'm going nowhere in life.
now me: NO! We've got equity now?
12-year-old me: Is that something to do with horses?
now me: Shut up for a second. Pay attention:
1) you will lose your virginity to your best friend at 19; don't wear a condom
2) after your child is born...
12-year-old me: I'VE GOT A KID!?! FUCK THAT!!!!
now me: ...dude, chill! Anyway...
3) you will have an opportunity to buy a synthesizer for cheap; don't. it's all downhill from there.

(long pause)
12-year-old me: So tell me this - precisely what year did I become stupid and insane?

Jody Bethrosen?

xpost mitch you are a bad, bad man.

That's a drum machine, that's a sampler, and that's an integrated sequencer/sampler workstation. The rest of my stuff is in the closet. Those are biamplified monitors from Alesis.

"AWESOME"

...............

...............

...............

I'm going to try and go to bed, OK? Time's up.

"Shit!"

::sigh::

Young Me: Yay! We have breasts and straight hair!
Me: We do.
Young Me: But we're still geeks, right?
Me: We are.
Young Me: Damn. At least we dress better. But what's up with the boots?
Me: You'll grow to have a healthy obsession with shoes.
Young Me: Freak.
Me: You have no subletly.
Young Me: Huh? At least give me some advice.
Me: Here, memorize The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce.
Young Me: You don't like Bon Jovi anymore, do you?
Me: Fuck off.

and i would do it.

EW. Still...

I think that happened to me ~12, more or less. Was it puberty that sucked the marrow from my life? /misquote Dunno.

Paisley sounds exotic from yonder side of the Atlantic...as does marriage, frankly

This really deserves a place on the posts that make you laugh out loud thread. Paisley is, well, shit. And not in the slightest bit exotic.
http://freespace.virgin.net/andy.preece/cycling/cycleroutes/paisley.jpg

I don't think 12 year old me would be that surprised that her 30 year old counterpart was married. I think 16-26 year old me would have been more surprised. I still retained some of my youthful optimism at the age of 12 and was a bit young to realise I wasn't going to be the kind of girl that guys would fall in love with.

then: ew. sounds like heavy metal.

Now: far from it. they're about to come out with a very important album called "Isn't Anything?". Start mowing the lawn and saving your money. you know that record store that your friends talk about? start getting mom to take you there, on a weekly basis. your first purchase will be a record call "Let it Be" by this band that's about to break up. Your next purchase will be a record that's much faster out of California, called "Milo Goes to College". Start making friends with your friends' older brothers, and see if they'll take you with them to rock shows in Ann Arbor and Detroit.

Then: why do i care about music so much?

Now: when you're a freshman in college, you'll find out. It'll be your first roommate. But don't worry--you'll move out after 4 months. Oh yeah, and you know that 120 minutes show on MTV on sunday night? start taping it. Every episode. Never let your mom make you ditch the tapes. And don't let her throw away or sell your star wars figures or Transformers. Also, see this? This is an electric guitar.

Then: neat! but i play piano now. I don't like it much.

Now: Go out and buy records by Little Richard & Professor Longhair & the New York Dolls. You will have about 3 more piano teachers in the next 4 years. have them teach you those songs. Now this is how you play an A chord. And here, is a D chord and an E Chord.

Then: Okay

Now: Now this is a record by a band called "The Ramones". This is very important.

Then: will I ever go out with that one girl?

Now: No. you will with another for a short while, and then nobody for about the next 7-8 years.

THen: ...oh. that really sucks. you're depressing me.

Now: yeah. get used to that feeling, as you'll have to deal with it for the next 9 years. start going to a shrink now, and not the one that you saw when you were 9. he's friendly, but he's no good. Also, high school will be alternately good & boring & frustrating for you. Don't hang out with that drummer guy so much, but talk to some of his friends, the ones that don't drink or smoke, and they might come in handy. And stop playing computer games so much. Hang out with people, and run and don't shun sports. you're better at them than you think.

Then: but i don't want to conform...

Now: Shut up. It doesn't work like that. Also, when you're a freshman in college, do NOT move back home. Get a summer job as a computer help guy and do whatever you can to stay in ann arbor. Start going to all those rock shows that you see flyers for, and start listening to the campus radio station. Learn about studying your books int he library instead of in your dorm room, and join the Co-op program. Take any internship or co-op that gets offered to you.

then: this is a lot.

Now: oh yeah. You know that wanking thing you've just discovered? Get used to it. You're going to be doing a lot of it for the next 15 years.

Then: damn.

Now: don't worry. it'll turn out alright in the end. Maybe.

Then: will they ever make a new Star Wars movie?

Now: Don't ask.

12 Me goes back in time. Reality ends.

Hello. Does this go on for long?

No, you actually start college next year. Trinity and all.

That'll be nice.

Yeah, sort of. You know how you don't have to try real hard at this stuff? That'll change.

I'm certain I'll do okay.

Yeah, you are, aren't you? Come here so I can look at you.

What are you looking for?

Certainty. I'm running low these days.

What? How? It's not difficult to be certain, you see the right thing and you do it. It's central to what we are!

Not so much these days.

What do you have if you're not certain?

Something else, something better.

What?

... I don't know, I can't really explain.

You can't explain because it doesn't exist! You're making it up to pretend that it's good because it's all that you've got!

No!

..Maybe.

Anything else?

Dad gets sick in four years time. He gets better and then after another five years he doesn't.

So I should be nice to him for that time?

No, you'll be giving him a lot of grief, the usual teenage stuff. You have plenty of time to make things right before the end.

So why are you telling me this, then?

You pissed me off.