― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― Mr Noodles, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
I had a weird sensation reading some of the pieces, laughter and sadness at the same time. The tone is slightly different than usual Onion (the sidebar piece on the Arab 3rd grader), a bit less clever and more in-your-face (see the God clarifies position piece). You can feel the gravity in what they are doing here.
― Mark, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― Ed, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― Nick, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― Kate the Saint, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― rezna, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
but i still find them very funny
to be honest i cant really think of many sources of comedy which dont use tired old formulas, or rather come up with totally new and hilarious joke formats every time....
― ambrose, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― Mark, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― Ally, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― suzy, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (8 years ago) Permalink
― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 9 October 2006 19:46 (3 years ago) Permalink
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:11 (3 years ago) Permalink
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:12 (3 years ago) Permalink
― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:22 (3 years ago) Permalink
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:11 (3 years ago) Permalink
roffle
― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:29 (3 years ago) Permalink
― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 11 October 2006 02:30 (3 years ago) Permalink
― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 03:30 (3 years ago) Permalink
― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 03:42 (3 years ago) Permalink
― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 03:44 (3 years ago) Permalink
In the same edition, the TV guide spoof made me totally lose my shit (in the slightly unhinged mood of the time, obv)
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38450
Especially CBS: "Dan Rather's 83rd Straight Hour On The Air / Dan Rather Seriously Loses His Shit / Medicating Dan Rather"
― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 04:06 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/95_96_prayers_finally
I was laughing at this until the very end. That last joke seems unusually mean-spirited for the Onion.
― Nathan, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:42 (2 years ago) Permalink
um, the christopher reeve snipe was hardly cricket.
― darraghmac, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:44 (2 years ago) Permalink
True. I guess that somehow escaped me when I first read it.
― Nathan, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:45 (2 years ago) Permalink
i liked this one because is not jello a foods
[a hrarf = this is my internets link] http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears[/a hraf linkthing]
― a puppy, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:48 (2 years ago) Permalink
I have to say, for having webbed toes you are impressively skilled at typing.
― Abbott, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:53 (2 years ago) Permalink
a hrarf!
― G00blar, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:55 (2 years ago) Permalink
I don't get why everybody's blaming the puppy for not being Socialist Realism or somethink.
― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:56 (2 years ago) Permalink
I don't even know what that means and I am a hu-man.
― Abbott, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:59 (2 years ago) Permalink
who blames a puppy i am lerning better, promise the psyientests are teaching me
― a puppy, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:01 (2 years ago) Permalink
I didn't express myself very clearly.
Anyway, if y'all thought the "95-96 Prayers Backlog" was cold, look what I stumbled across:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29919
― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:01 (2 years ago) Permalink
okay that is awesome
― HI DERE, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:02 (2 years ago) Permalink
the onion's had a hardon for superman for awhile - http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30382
― balls, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:14 (2 years ago) Permalink
whose balls are you, i am lookinf for mine
― a puppy, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:18 (2 years ago) Permalink
― balls, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:22 (2 years ago) Permalink
i kinda forgot abt the onion but this was posted on the quantum mechanic thread and it is funnee http://www.theonion.com/content/news/scientists_ask_congress_to_fund_50
― rrrobyn, Friday, 19 October 2007 03:02 (2 years ago) Permalink
They've really been on a roll with the cartoons - they're probably my favorite thing in the Onion now.
― Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:24 (2 years ago) Permalink
― Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:25 (2 years ago) Permalink
One of my more flattering caricatures.
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:26 (2 years ago) Permalink
Ha.
I also really love that every so often there will be an editorial cartoon about the cartoonist's ex-wife.
― Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:29 (2 years ago) Permalink
lol
― Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 2 November 2007 04:02 (2 years ago) Permalink
I read the last word wrong and thought this was gonna be about
― James Redd and the Blecchs, Friday, 2 November 2007 04:55 (2 years ago) Permalink
― Frogman Henry, Friday, 2 November 2007 09:02 (2 years ago) Permalink
who's that on the right? Jabba the Hutt?
― Heave Ho, Friday, 2 November 2007 10:41 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/mel_brooks_starts_nonprofit
― El Tomboto, Friday, 2 November 2007 16:32 (2 years ago) Permalink
― Billy Dods, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 16:29 (2 years ago) Permalink
They've completely raised their game since the movie.
The Onion didn't make The Onion Movie
― parm goin' ham (sic), Sunday, 21 March 2010 10:15 (5 months ago) Permalink
Hasan, my man, if you don't give me a high five right now, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
― kenan, Sunday, 21 March 2010 10:44 (5 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-government-to-save-billions-by-cutting-wasteful,17171/
― The Reverend, Saturday, 3 April 2010 01:52 (5 months ago) Permalink
A+! Were they doing real news on April 1st? Sounds quite plausible, tbh.
― StanM, Saturday, 3 April 2010 03:55 (5 months ago) Permalink
― ✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Saturday, 3 April 2010 04:23 (5 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/freakonomist-keeps-close-eye-on-ge-stock-versus-he,17202/
― rip sarah silverman 3/19/10 never forget (history mayne), Monday, 5 April 2010 16:52 (4 months ago) Permalink
I Won't Have My Daughter Bringing A Black Man Into This House Until I've Tidied Up And Created A Welcoming Environment
― peter in montreal, Wednesday, 14 April 2010 16:07 (4 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/video/cosmopolitan-institute-completes-decadeslong-study,14257/
― StanM, Wednesday, 14 April 2010 21:14 (4 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-flag-recalled-after-causing-143-million-deaths/
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 15 April 2010 02:57 (4 months ago) Permalink
(143 mil a bit low, but nice to see)
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 15 April 2010 02:58 (4 months ago) Permalink
oh, this is the correct link:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-flag-recalled-after-causing-143-million-deaths,17248/
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 15 April 2010 02:59 (4 months ago) Permalink
GleeFOX 9 p.m. EST / 8 p.m. CST Romance is in the air and that can only mean one thing: GWAR week on Glee.
― Darin, Friday, 7 May 2010 17:15 (3 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/exhausted-noam-chomsky-just-going-to-try-and-enjoy,17404/
― Sweet Sister Raistlin (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 10 May 2010 20:16 (3 months ago) Permalink
lol x2
― planes/octaves/dimensions of existence (rrrobyn), Monday, 10 May 2010 21:15 (3 months ago) Permalink
Today, I'm just going to kick back and enjoy some much-needed Noam Time.
― goole, Monday, 10 May 2010 21:16 (3 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/video/semiliterate-former-gold-prospector-given-own-cabl,17408/
Laughing so hard.
― i would rather burn than spend eternity with god and rapists (chap), Tuesday, 11 May 2010 20:21 (3 months ago) Permalink
BRILLIANT
― StanM, Tuesday, 11 May 2010 20:46 (3 months ago) Permalink
oh god, please make that a series
― Sweet Sister Raistlin (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 12 May 2010 06:02 (3 months ago) Permalink
Someone should just post this on like 75% if the ILM threads.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/not-very-good-album-takes-a-little-while-to-get-in,17425/
― Darin, Friday, 14 May 2010 15:35 (3 months ago) Permalink
Also this:
― Darin, Friday, 14 May 2010 15:36 (3 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/heckled-christian-rock-band-knows-how-jesus-felt,17446/
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 18 May 2010 17:03 (3 months ago) Permalink
(when you click the above link and you get an error -> just add the / yourself in the address bar)
― StanM, Tuesday, 18 May 2010 17:34 (3 months ago) Permalink
That prospector is genius, and not too far removed from reality. Kind of like when Fey played Palin by simply repeating whatever stupid things Palin had said.
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 18 May 2010 17:56 (3 months ago) Permalink
New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It
aunched last year, Foursquare is unique in that it not only allows users to broadcast their whereabouts, but also offers a number of built-in incentives, including some innovative new crap The New York Times surely has a throbbing hard-on for.In fact, why don't we just let them report on this garbage and call it a day?"Foursquare is a little bit of everything—a friend-finder, a local city guide, an interactive mobile game," said company cofounder Dennis Crowley, as if reading from the same tired script used by every one of these Web 2.0 or whatever-the-fuck-they're-called startups. "But more than that, Foursquare is an [endless string of meaningless buzzwords we just couldn't bring ourselves to transcribe]."
In fact, why don't we just let them report on this garbage and call it a day?
"Foursquare is a little bit of everything—a friend-finder, a local city guide, an interactive mobile game," said company cofounder Dennis Crowley, as if reading from the same tired script used by every one of these Web 2.0 or whatever-the-fuck-they're-called startups. "But more than that, Foursquare is an [endless string of meaningless buzzwords we just couldn't bring ourselves to transcribe]."
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Friday, 21 May 2010 23:31 (3 months ago) Permalink
zang i love the times piece at the end
― forksclovetofu, Saturday, 22 May 2010 18:20 (3 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-actually-shouting-at-other-man-to-get-jennifer,17498/
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 26 May 2010 01:00 (3 months ago) Permalink
OK, this, right here, is one of the best Onion articles I've seen, because it makes you want to high five it for laying out for you the reasons something pisses you off that you were never able to clearly orchestrate. Like that last sentence sort of.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-social-networking-site-changing-the-way-oh-chr,17465/
― Evan, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 04:48 (3 months ago) Permalink
Linked a couple of posts back there...
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 04:55 (3 months ago) Permalink
Oh crap I looked right past it. I can always count on you to point out my mistakes, Ned.
― Evan, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 14:14 (3 months ago) Permalink
God bless the goddamn Onion
― Fetchboy, Monday, 7 June 2010 16:46 (2 months ago) Permalink
:D
killer final line
― Mark Ronson: "Led Zeppelin were responsible for hip-hop" (acoleuthic), Monday, 7 June 2010 16:49 (2 months ago) Permalink
― Darin, Friday, 11 June 2010 18:06 (2 months ago) Permalink
that's pretty awesome, even though i can't imagine nyt magazine using stock images
― dell (del), Friday, 11 June 2010 22:45 (2 months ago) Permalink
dont think thats the point
― its like why GROCERY BAG and not saddam? (deej), Saturday, 12 June 2010 17:30 (2 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-grandmother-comes-forward-as-banksy,17604/
― gay sauna manthems (LOLK), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:42 (2 months ago) Permalink
― its like why GROCERY BAG and not saddam? (deej), Saturday, June 12, 2010 5:30 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark
disagree, seems the true intention of the joke is not lost on dell, in fact if i may be so bold as to suggest that it appears he is a viking at 'getting it'
― del griffith, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:55 (2 months ago) Permalink
obviously its a joke about stock images -- i dont think that means its explicitly parodying the ny mag's use of stock images though
― its like why GROCERY BAG and not saddam? (deej), Thursday, 17 June 2010 05:37 (2 months ago) Permalink
OK this is weird, I know the guy in this photo!http://www.theonion.com/articles/eons-of-darwinian-evolution-somehow-produce-mitch,17635
― jaymc, Monday, 21 June 2010 15:59 (2 months ago) Permalink
(And actually, Mordy does, too. Turns out the photo was taken when he was touring the Onion offices with a group of ¥3$h1v@ students last year.)
― jaymc, Tuesday, 22 June 2010 03:47 (2 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/obamas-weekly-video-addresses-becoming-increasingl,17649/
"This is an abhorrent waste of federal funds," Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform said of Obama's May 13 video, timestamp. "How can a man overseeing the largest deficit in history justify spending our hard-earned money on some artsy video of him signing the same bill over and over again for 14 straight hours as the distant sound of children's laughter grows in intensity until it becomes unbearably loud and then the entire thing ends with footage of an atom bomb going off? It's just despicable."
"Do we really want our tax dollars going toward something so clearly derivative of Sadie Benning's early works?" Norquist added.
― C.R.E.P.E (Trayce), Friday, 2 July 2010 03:35 (2 months ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/video/alqaeda-calls-off-attack-on-nations-capitol-to-spa,17688/
I don't know how old this is but I laughed hard and hearty
― Vlad the Inhaler (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 1 August 2010 22:51 (1 month ago) Permalink
lol @ "Jennifer Aniston Adopts 33-Year-Old Boyfriend From Africa" in the related vids
― r|t|c, Monday, 2 August 2010 00:01 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/recently-single-al-gore-finally-able-to-listen-to,17824/
― joygoat, Monday, 2 August 2010 15:03 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.theonion.com/articles/florida-marlins-delay-game-until-their-fan-shows-u,17891/
― StanM, Saturday, 14 August 2010 13:12 (2 weeks ago) Permalink
CORRECTIONS: Actor Peter Sarsgaard's name was misspelled in a photo caption accompanying a story about the upcoming release of Green Lantern. We were unaware that our readers knew how to spell his name correctly. The Onion regrets the error.
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:37 (2 weeks ago) Permalink
Desperate Pandora Employees Scrambling To Find Song Area Man Likes
"It's called 'Steely Dan Radio,' for Christ's sake—why does he keep skipping over Donald Fagen's 'The Nightfly'?"
― diamonddave85, Saturday, 21 August 2010 19:26 (1 week ago) Permalink
"Here's a guitar. Go write your own damn song, but don't come back crying to us if it sucks."
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Saturday, 21 August 2010 21:25 (1 week ago) Permalink
Awesome and timely.
Man Already Knows Everything He Needs To Know About Muslims
Gentries made a conscious decision to stop learning anything new about the Muslim faith on May 22, 2005.
― Jaw dropping, thong dropping monster (kingfish), Monday, 30 August 2010 18:15 (4 days ago) Permalink
barely sitirical though :/
― FORTIFIED STEAMED VEGETABLE BOWL (schlump), Monday, 30 August 2010 20:54 (4 days ago) Permalink
I never liked that damn Tipper Gore - anyone with a name like Tipper must be a bitchtard.
― Latham Green, Tuesday, 31 August 2010 03:03 (3 days ago) Permalink