When yer pants are so damn tight around the waist, the wearing of underpants/boxers is impossible!

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this is a serious problem! a physically lazy month has seen my ass stack on the kilos and as a result my jeans/pants are now exceedingly well-filled out. so tight that wearing underpants means being unable to do-up the top button/fly. even free-balling i am unable to carry a wallet. compounding the problem is that i'm a tight ass tight ass, rarely spending money on clothes.

anybody else squeezing into their clothes at the moment?

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:05 (7 years ago) Permalink

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:06 (7 years ago) Permalink

yes but it's because all my jeans have been stolen from ex-girlfriends

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

I recently went and bought a whole new set of underwear, and threw all the old pairs away. Complete turnover. And they were... um... a size larger. *shame*

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

Why would you want to wear two sets of underwear???

― N. Ron, Friday, 18 July 2003 16:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

try boxer briefs, chris. that might work better.

my roommate told me boxer briefs seriously hinder the summer sweaty balls syndrome, but alas he is mistaken.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

cheers Yanc3y! i treasure my one pair of boxer briefs!!

the last time i purchased underwear was in 1996. like you kenan, i think i need to up-size!

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

throw some Gold Bond on your brains and your all set.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

is that ball deodorant?

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm only reading this thread when females start posting to it.

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

pretty much. its medicated powder. it gives the boys a little tingle too when you put it on them for added pleasure.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

Gold Bond site. I am somewhat frightenend by the frat-guy's testimonial.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:32 (7 years ago) Permalink

I am happy this thread has moved from chubb to ball sweat.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

Well, females' jeans can get too tight too. Sometimes we'll have bigger & smaller pairs for weight fluctuation. Now Mark C. can post. ;-)

So THAT'S what that Gold Bond stuff is for? Huh!

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

We Love Our Gold Bond!
All the guys in my fraternity use Triple Action Gold Bond Medicated Powder- it?s a daily experience! We even fight over the green bottles when we run low. I used to use J&J Baby Powder, but it doesn?t even compare to Gold Bond. Gold Bond gives you that tingling sensation...it cools...it keeps you dry all day. I love my Gold Bond, man! Send us some T-shirts!
Peter Dellacrosse, University of Maryland

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:47 (7 years ago) Permalink

Too tight for underwear though? What kind of underwear are we speaking of? Is it made out of denim or something? WTF?

I'm not wearing underwear but that's cos I haven't done laundry in like 6 months and am too broke to buy more now so now I have to do it :(

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:47 (7 years ago) Permalink

I guarantee there was some sort of powdering of the pledges nuts initiation.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:47 (7 years ago) Permalink

Such a vision.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:48 (7 years ago) Permalink

and I bet Dave Matthews Band was involved in it somehow.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:51 (7 years ago) Permalink

My best friend's father got out of going to Vietnam cuz he didn't don underwear ("No commandos in this Army!"), and ever since I heard that story it's rare that I wear any.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:53 (7 years ago) Permalink

ally, i'm serious!! those extra millimetres make a world of difference!

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm with Ally; I can't imagine how adding underwear makes a bit of difference if your pants are that tight to begin with.

― Sean (Sean), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

if you can see the veins in your balls while wearing these pants i suggest a size upgrade.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

Can we go back to this sentence: even free-balling i am unable to carry a wallet.

I'm reading this and thinking, "Do your hands stop working if you put on underwear? I've never experienced this problem."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

did you know: the amount of time spent posting this thread could have been spent on a few sit-ups remedying your situation.

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

I never knew that sit-ups could reduce the size of your ass!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

Depends on the placement of the butt.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

or a few minutes of nut powdering. just think of it as sprinkling powdered sugar on some donut holes.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

again with the nuts Chris. things haven't quite reached this stage.

and i mean wallet in the back pocket dan.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

I never knew that a few minutes of nut powdering could reduce the size of your ass!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

We are achieving a critical mass of silly.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

My weight doesn't fluctuate so much but I definitely have jeans that are held in reserve for pms-bloat. I'm not sure if my size actually changes so much as I'm too cranky to wear anything vaguely tight and sexy. I didn't know this was an issue for guys though...chris, is it that you tend to put the weight on your booty rather than your belly?

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

We are also reaching a critical mass of ass.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

Critical Ass, starring Dan "Dr. Love" Perry

"You see, miss, this bootyflakes problem of yours HAS A CURE."

*"Hot Hot Hot" starts up in the background*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:26 (7 years ago) Permalink

I can't tell if that's meant to be porn or not.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

VEINS??

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

Even worse would be the capillaries.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

remember the last ass thread? now that reached critical mass!!

teeny, when the weight goes on, it's ass and tum.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:31 (7 years ago) Permalink

so tight that wearing underpants means being unable to do-up the top button/fly.

Have you considered cross-dressing? I assume that this is one of the reasons that lingerie departments right now are full of low-rider thongs and hiphuggers (this, and the fashion for pants that ride dangerously low).

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:47 (7 years ago) Permalink

i don't have the cheekbones.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:51 (7 years ago) Permalink

and the beard could give me away.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:53 (7 years ago) Permalink

Are you planning on wearing the thong on your face?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:57 (7 years ago) Permalink

Dude I just saw the stankiest drag queens when I was buying my Devo t-shirt, wtf? They looked homeless yet fabulous at once? What does this even imply?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 18:06 (7 years ago) Permalink

i would look stanky as a lady, even with the thong on my face.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 18 July 2003 18:09 (7 years ago) Permalink

Chris, buy some new pants for crying out loud.

― Mandee, Friday, 18 July 2003 18:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

++Dude I just saw the stankiest drag queens when I was buying my Devo t-shirt, wtf? They looked homeless yet fabulous at once? What does this even imply?

this is odd to you? how long have you been living in nyc???

― kephm, Friday, 18 July 2003 18:55 (7 years ago) Permalink

No, I mean how stanky they were, that was so weird. Also so early in the AM!

You know, maybe they were just really, really ugly women.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 18:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

at least 1/2 of my underwear doesn't fit, but i am uh keeping them as an uh reminder to lose weight sometime before i have to start buying depends

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 18:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

Ally maybe they were French. French drag-queens have no class, they don't even make an effort. I mean, put on some make-up for god's sake, you're a MAN!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

You know, Tracer, on the ILX-as-cartoons thread, I was desperately searching for a picture of that French kid from the South Park movie to put as you, but no dice. But trust me, that's you right now.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:13 (7 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, I have two pairs of trousers like this. You really have to get into the minimalist approach to junk-carrying. Bank card in back pocket, notes only, loose change discarded, keys a problem - you have to reckon on staying somewhere else.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:30 (7 years ago) Permalink

You must strategize where to keep your junk when it no longer fits in the trunk.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

Buy a purse.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 18 July 2003 20:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

I have so little fat around my stomach and ass that my waistline varies massively depending upon my last meal. Like I'll go to work in the morning and maybe have a soda that gives me gas and I have to let the belt out a little. Then by 0930 I'm back to 'normal' and I tighten up a bit to stay comfortable. About 4 hours after lunch or after a couple of beers at home I usually have to ditch the belt altogether as the food et al. begin to move south.

Seriously, I've come back from satisfying movements and had to seriously adjust my belt to keep my pants from sagging on my hips. That's how nonexistent my tire is. Kinda freaks me out sometimes.

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 18 July 2003 20:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

Fuck you Millar.

(and I mean that purely in an impersonal, envious way of course)

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 18 July 2003 22:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

i always thought the sign of too-tight pants was being able to tell the dudes religion

― minna (minna), Friday, 18 July 2003 23:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

take them all off!

― encore un coca s'il vous plait, Saturday, 19 July 2003 00:05 (7 years ago) Permalink

― Dada, Saturday, 19 July 2003 00:09 (7 years ago) Permalink

grass is always greener, trust me

― Millar (Millar), Saturday, 19 July 2003 00:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

pants are for fools

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Saturday, 19 July 2003 03:02 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hence pantaloons.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 19 July 2003 18:54 (7 years ago) Permalink

4 months pass...

I still don't understand the concept of this thread. Perhaps men's underwear is much bulkier than women's?

― Allyzay, Friday, 12 December 2003 15:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

I am pleased this thread exists.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

now that I am allowed to wear regular clothes to work I no longer find the problem mentioned above to be an issue for me. However, now that I am tucking in two shirts instead of the one I find that the elastic waistline of my boxers likes to ride way up and encroach even so far as my bellybutton after sitting for long periods of time. YARRRGH.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 12 December 2003 15:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

FUCKING FANTASTIC THREAD

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 13 December 2003 05:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

stop tucking in the shirt then. fuck the system, man¡

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 13 December 2003 09:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

i did not follow my own reminder

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 13 December 2003 11:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

and now i am dealing with a bigger hinder.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 13 December 2003 12:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

- robert frost

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 13 December 2003 12:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

4 years pass...

even free-balling i am unable to carry a wallet

― gershy, Friday, 14 March 2008 05:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha the last time I bothered to tuck in my shirt was new year's eve

― El Tomboto, Friday, 14 March 2008 06:32 (2 years ago) Permalink

also huge huge lol @ this

Like I'll go to work in the morning and maybe have a soda that gives me gas and I have to let the belt out a little. Then by 0930 I'm back to 'normal' and I tighten up a bit to stay comfortable.

work before 0930? you idiot, oh wait, we were in the armed forces then

― El Tomboto, Friday, 14 March 2008 06:34 (2 years ago) Permalink

That's Oh-nine-hundred-and-thirty, to you.

(And thirty? Does the military acknowledge minutes?)

― Laurel, Friday, 14 March 2008 13:38 (2 years ago) Permalink

4 months pass...

funny

― Pylon Gnasher, Monday, 4 August 2008 21:57 (2 years ago) Permalink

saw a guy wearing two pairs of grundies the other day.

― ledge, Monday, 4 August 2008 22:03 (2 years ago) Permalink

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