Help me cook chicken

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Okay, as a partial vegetarian for the past couple of years, I am planning to cook chicken for the first time. Please spare me the "meat is bad for you" tirades, as I think we've all had our fill. Besides, if it makes you feel better I will only purchase a free-range, drug-free, 12 step program graduate, organically raised chicken.

All I ask is that some culinarily competent person help me out here. I'm thinking of just marinating it and then pan-frying it on the range. So, uh, what specifics do I need to know? How long to cook it, how high to cook it, etc. Any answers would be most appreciated.

― JS Williams (js williams), Saturday, 21 June 2003 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

And when I say how high to cook it, that's as in "how high should the heat be?" sense, not the "Reggie Noble/Clifford Smith How High should I cook it?" sense.

― JS Williams (js williams), Saturday, 21 June 2003 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Not long really, when you skewer it and the juices run clear then it's cooked. If you're at all worried about it being underdone then cut it into small pieces as these will cook faster, if you're worried about overcooking then make sure you keep the whole thing good and moist with sauce, oil, leftover marinade whatever. Have fun. Get a bottle of Gewurtztraminer to drink with it and your work here is done.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 21 June 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, as a partial vegetarian for the past couple of years, I am planning to cook chicken for the first time. Please spare me the "meat is bad for you" tirades, as I think we've all had our fill.

"Meat is bad for you"? I only wish it did bring on instant cancer. But it don't. And if you don't want to be bored to death, why out yourself as a former "partial vegetarian"? Partial vegetarian! There;s no such thing, you dick.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, pescatarian, fuckwad. The small amount of salmon I eat every two weeks doesn't let me into the vegetarian club. Thanks for your input, though, ya worthless dickfer.

― JS Williams (js williams), Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, should I have included a bunch of swearwords in my advice? Right, scratch the above:
Not long really, you cunt. When you fucking skewer it and the bitches juices run clear then it's as cooked as a motherfucker. If you're at all shitting worried about it being underdone then you're a fucking pussy and your needledick ain't gonna satisfy no bitch cut it into small pieces as these will cook faster, if you're cunting worried about overfuckingcooking then make goddamn sure you keep the whole thing good and moist like your pussy, bitch, with sauce, oil, leftover marinade whatever. Have fun. Get a bottle of Kraut fucking Gewurtztraminer to drink with it and your work here is done, asshole.

Better?

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"Worthless dickfer"? I still think that's better than being a dick. And you're a dick.

But I didn't notice "fuckwad". That's practically competent. But text it to me next time, dick.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i.e. see how Matt does it, dick? Try to be like him.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"Fuck.wad"??? That a file you can get for Half- Life and Quake mods?

― N. Ron, Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, thank you for your clear-headed advice, Matt, although the swearing perhaps would make for a great cookbook.

― JS Williams (js williams), Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

well, y'know, one tries

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry: one fucking tries, you worthless piece of shit.

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

(I finally feel at home here)

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 22 June 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

dry sherry
soy sauce
white vinegar
3 garlic cloves
grated ginger

marinade heaven JS. and look for the clear juice.

stir fried bok choi is delicious with chicken!

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Sunday, 22 June 2003 03:52 (twenty-two years ago)

This is exactly like watching Emeril!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 22 June 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I need to start a new Meat for Millar thread, cuz the first two were not tirades, just arguments. I had absolutely no compulsion whatsoever to type a "meat is bad" response to this post. I actually checked this thread out because I thought it was a joke (like "how do you boil corn?", for instance).

― Scaredy Cat, Sunday, 22 June 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I need to start a new Meat for Millar thread

Even better, a whole separate website.

― Paul in Santa Cruz (Paul in Santa Cruz), Sunday, 22 June 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Even better, a whole separate website.

A virus!

― Scaredy Cat, Sunday, 22 June 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i had some chicken yesterday - it was barbecue/smoked flavour - no shit it tasted like the chicken smoked 40 a day and then did its final death roll in an ashtray - ate it though as its a shame to waste these things and i only quit about 6 months ago so its nice to remember the good times

― james (james), Monday, 23 June 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

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