Tip Jar Conundrum

Guaranteed tip if you act like a reasonably decent human being; it's easy enough to tell if he/she means it when he/she says "Have a nice day." or "Can I help you?" Non-standard questions, replies, thoughts are also nice.

Cute girls too.

You get some coins for being cute.

Maybe a bill for being cute and sincere.

You get a bill if you're sincere and engaging in a very human way; if I can tell that you're a Good Person and not a Wasted Piece of Flesh that's even better.

Ugliness isn't a factor; only cuteness.

Cute != hot, really. Hot girls get nothing because they tend to be horrible people with rich jock boyfriends. (nice generalization there, but High School has taught me that it's True.)

Ozzie's?

I don't know that I tip baristas mainly b/c I don't frequent coffee shops. ALSO b/c I assume baristas are making minimum wage. Waitresses and bartenders usually make 2-something an hour so absolutely need the tip to make their wage something resembling living. This would be the same reason I don't tip at Sonics.

However, when tipping is required, I do so well. Twenty -percent at restuarants, nearly a third at hair salons, dollar per drink at bars. Good karma comes back to you.

But I did start tipping in coffee shops when I was here in March, but only for good service. I am a good customer, I am friednly, patient, non-patronising (I hope), and I merit good service. It's a win-win situation!

Jewelly, do you tip coffee shop staff?

Here in the UK I tip about 10% (varied according to lots of factors) in restaurants, but rarely anywhere else. One restaurant I know has on the menu "A discretionary optional gratuity of 10% will be added to every bill." That double tautology, then the "will be added" is great.

The coffee itself often has that stale/flat taste you get when the machines aren't cleaned enough. Tully's usually has similiar problems, so I don't think I've stopped at one in close to two years.

Actually, seriously, what put me off of tipping anything more than like the pennies I get for change was two men in the Starbucks under my apartment:

1) One is creepy Charlie Manson type, who holds your coffee until you say "Thank you very much" - "thanks" is unacceptable, I've found.
2) The other consistently makes the wrong drink and then ARGUES WITH YOU when you say that's not what you wanted. "That's not what you goddamned said!" I'm like, ok, cowboy, if I meant "coconut latte whipped cream explosion", I'd have said that instead of "chai latte". I mean, they don't even sound similar.

Always. It's bad enough I waste my money on Starbucks when I do but I also feel compelled to tip for perpetuating this hideous abomination of cultural homogenization. In my guilt-ridden mind I am like the Oskar Schindler of Starbucks patrons viz:

Oskar Schindler: I could've tipped more. I could've tipped more if I just tried harder. I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I just...
Barista: There is almost $1 in here as a result of what you did.
Oskar Schindler: I didn't do enough!
Barista: You did so much.
Oskar Schindler: This car. Why did I keep the car? Amon would've bought this car. 2000 tips right there. This magazine, 8 tips, This is gold! 8 tips he could've given me 8 people at least one. One tip. One tip I didn't make. One tip I could've made and I didn't!!

living in london now, i'm still confused about tipping. my friends have snatched money i left for bartenders, saying i leave too much.

and i don't drink coffee, so i don't really have a policy about tipping in coffee shops.

I just explained to a very old looking lady why I always buy a box of chocolates to give to the staff whenever I hit up my local 24/7 drugstore for random bullshit that I need at 2 in the AM or whatever:

"I see these people got a tip jar for servin' me some coffee in a paper cup from nine to five. y'all providin' me with who knows what all hours of the night and mornin' and no tip jar at all. so I figure I buy you some candy, everybody likes candy, least I can do, right?"

am I a bastard or just a dork?

seriously though for like two years in this neighborhood, every time I go to the 24/7 CVS for anything beyond a pack of camels, I buy a box of chocolates and give it to the staff. and I still haven't figured out whether that's patronizing or nice or what. in fact, fuck our society right in the ear for making me have to think about that, but I might as well ask the question

What kind of chocolates do you buy them?

Back when I worked in retail, you had to have a receipt attached to any item that you purchased for consumption in the store, so you might end up getting them in trouble.

But probably they think you're a good person. Folks appreciate having a regular who stands out and is nice to them.