right-wing ice cream

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(thankee, tom tomorrow!)

as their website says, At Last, a Conservative Alternative to Ben and Jerry's.

some shit you just can't make up.

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

actually, the more i look at this the more i think that this must be a joke. i mean, look at these upcoming flavors.

even republicans can't be this stupid. no?

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

At last, at last. Ben & Jerry's contains mind-altering communist substances. I refuse to eat ice cream made by pot-smoking hippie socialists.

I hate the French vanilla. Talk about a nation that doesn't believe in life, liberty, or the pursuit of happiness. Communists would be speaking German if we didn't liberate them from the socialist Nazis.

Republicans are the party that has the thinkers. Bush went to Yale and Harvard. All you Ivy League snobs are out of touch with regular Americans.

― Ronald Rumsfeld, Wednesday, 19 March 2003 19:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I was wondering about the viability of mail order ice cream.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 20:36 (twenty-three years ago)

this "flavor" -- School Prayerleens & Crème -- must be the tip-off that this is a joke. kinda like the Anal Cunt songlist, but with ice cream.

whether it is a joke or not, i wonder how many wingnuts will order?

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 20:40 (twenty-three years ago)

according to Jon Stewart France has been renamed "Freedom"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 20:47 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe i should order a pint of "i hate the french vanilla" for Millar!

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 23:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Chesapeake Bay Gourmet does not list 'Star Spangled Ice Cream' as a product that it distributes.

Of course conservatives being neither clever nor funny would ever cook something up like this themselves, it's obviously a hoax

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:03 (twenty-three years ago)

"Gun Nut" = chuckle

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I could conceivably go and check the street address in Baltimore and confirm this if anybody cares.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:11 (twenty-three years ago)

sure, why not? it would be cool to find out if this is fer real or a prank. shit, it's probably funnier if it is fer real!

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:15 (twenty-three years ago)

They charge $76 for a four-pack of ice cream! It has to be for real!!!!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:37 (twenty-three years ago)

They charge $76 for a four-pack of ice cream! It has to be for real!!!!

well, dan, you know there's ample precedent out there for those who wanna bilk the wingnuts outta their money. i.e., jimmy swaggart was making mad $$ not that ago, and rush limbaugh used to (maybe still does?) have a line of neckties!

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:54 (twenty-three years ago)

to put it another way: it would be REALLY funny if these guys took the money, bought shitloads of Ben and Jerry's (the "socialist hippy ice cream" they're trying to combat) and ice cream pints dirtcheap, stuck these right-wing cartoons on the pints, and sent them to any clown giving them the $76 with a note saying "SUCKER! YOU BOUGHT COMMIE ICE CREAM!!!"

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Dear god, why CAN'T there really be Irrelevant Belgian Chocolate ice cream?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 20 March 2003 03:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Or Iraqi Road?

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 20 March 2003 04:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Pecann Coulter?

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Thursday, 20 March 2003 04:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I will buy some and bring it to the MEGAFAP 7/4.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 20 March 2003 05:01 (twenty-three years ago)

four months pass...

out of curiosity, tom, did you ever check out whether this outfit actually exists?

― Tad (llamasfur), Saturday, 9 August 2003 06:48 (twenty-two years ago)

From the website:

Q. Is Star Spangled Ice Cream for real, or is this website just a practical joke?

A. Star Spangled Ice Cream is for real even though some people may think our flavor names are over the top. And not only real, but really, really delicious. Star Spangled is a private label brand made under the supervision of an experienced, Baltimore-based producer of high-end gourmet ice cream.

I remember hearing people rave about this nonstop when it was first introduced, back when I was hanging out with the "right wingers". (I won't even mention the website because, um, it got such a huge response the first time.) $76 IS a steep price to pay for four quarts of ice cream, but I am confident that it doesn't cost nearly that much at the one Baltimore store location that carries it.

It actually sounds good, though. And I'm not too Republican to admit that I do enjoy consuming Ben & Jerry's ice cream (with my dairy digestive aids, of course). I would consume both, in fact, maybe even at the same time if I felt especially gluttonous. This new company is just another specialty, premium ice cream brand. Just shrug off the politics or treat it all as a parody and enjoy.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 9 August 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

some US Army Tank Crunch would taste good right now. Anything with "crunch" in it does it for me.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 9 August 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

They need to be more creative. Fruit of the Womb - with little chocolate fetuses and cherry goo.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Saturday, 9 August 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

so much for my appetite

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 9 August 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

do you think there'd be a market for gummy fetuses? I know, like, 5-10 people who'd eat a gallon full just at the thought of such a delicacy.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Saturday, 9 August 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't gummy bears look enough like fetuses already?

― Stuart (Stuart), Saturday, 9 August 2003 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"I had paws at three weeks!"

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 9 August 2003 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd go broke buying gummy fetuses to pass out on campus.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Sunday, 10 August 2003 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

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