Best snippet of overheard conversation

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What's the best thing you've happened to hear when passing others on the street?

I heard someone say 'I don't like to criticise milk, but...' yesterday, which amused me by its strangeness all afternoon. The fact that I realised it was actually a valid and interesting conversation this morning (presumably about PETA's little milk slandering activity) has just made it more entertaining.

― John Davey, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

A guy in the pub last night who said: "It's hard to believe it's only 50 years since those little black kids were trying to go to school in America and the army were shooting at them to stop them getting in."

― Greg, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

six yr old scouser boy overheard on train (I've mentioned this before but it cracks me up):
"Family Values means we're all going to die"

― mark s, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

"That guy in front of us looks like Vanilla Ice", it was on the bus and someone said that about my friend.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

My personal favorite, which has become a top notch in joke, was passing a fighting couple on the street:

Man: Will you hear me out?
Girl: I am not hearing ANYONE out.
Man: YOU ARE LIVING IN A DREAM WORLD, ALLISON.

Chosen as favorite w/ in jokes for obvious reason.

― Ally, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Pure gold, that. My favorite, some years ago in a restaurant around here in the booth next to mine -- guy to two almost disciple-looking young fellers: "I used to be a fundamentalist until I got into The Simpsons." Now that's my idea of positive media influence!

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

" He touched what?...with WHAT??...for how long?....and when he was done the lobster SMILED????...oh, yeah, Santa. WHAT!? Yeah dude, I'm way into patchouli!"

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

i was talking about rape on the bus yesterday.

― anthony, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Another good one, overheard at work:

My boss: Paul! What's up?
Paul: Wait, wait, hang on...no, I can't do this now. I have to call you back (sounds very irritated).
My boss: But...um...you called me!
Paul: No! (hangs up)

That's easily the best conversation of all time at work, up there with me being told to ask my boss's kid if he ate ice cream.

― Ally, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

"There's nothing I love more than the smell of sex" (Overheard in Princeton, NJ, spoken by a woman in her early 60s)

― Joe Keyes, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Two French guys reciting dialogue from the Holy Grail (in French), including the French taunting thing. There is nothing better than a French guy imitating John Cleese imitating a Frenchman (in French).

― Nitsuh, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Overheard just now. "No lunch combo is too old fashioned, we need something more modern like.........................(long silence, 3 qualified marketing graduates deliberating) meal deal??, no no, meal combo???" (argument continues.)

― Ronan, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

You did then rise up and go over to those people and pummelled them viciously, I hope.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

It's probably worth the unemployment that would ensue, but don't worry I think they'll get their just punishment when the fucking sausage burgers or the coke fries they're trying to flog fall on their face and their boss asks them what the fuck they were thinking. That's what happens when you let Nelly Furtado fans into civilised society.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Me and a friend taped someone talking about their divorce on a tube train once. We were collecting field sounds.

― jel, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

man on cellphone: "they have got porterhouse steaks LIKE THE FUCK YOU'VE NEVER SEEN"

50-60ish white woman passing two young black men: "can i fuck you both?"

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Ronan: I have seen a meal combo offered here which is known as Tuck'n'Chuck. I bet they cannot beat that.

― suzy, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Very late, last Christmas eve I passed a phone box and I heard the man inside suddenly shout:
"I'll get the fuckin' Russians onto you!"

― DavidM, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

For all you New Order fans out there:
New Order fan (at Reading '98) to unconverted friend: "New Order? They're like...GODS!"

― DG, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Returning to my pseudo-poncey public school, I walk past a bunch of ~12 year olds having a heated argument:

"That is a spatula in the shape of a Swedish butter knife."

― Graham, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

On the bus I heard a guy ranting and yelling, "Emo? She thinks she's EMO? SINCE WHEN IS SHE FUCKING EMO? She thinks she's punk and she's not punk or emo, she's just a fucking wannabe...." That was funny because the kid who said it is, to my knowledge, not a punk either.

― maria, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I wouldn't say this was particularly funny or positive, but I once saw a German woman tell Nazi jokes to a group of Frenchmen in a library. They nodded glumly. It was almost Pinteresque.

― Magnus, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

New Order? They're like...GODS!

Um, are you sure that wasn't me?

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

If you were near me at Reading '98, possibly.

― DG, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Today i heard this at the drug store
kid Excuse me
me Yes
kid I kinda need help
me im not the pharmacist
kid i know
me okay what do you need
kid condoms kid can you get me some
me okay ― anthony, Wednesday, 5 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Bending the rules slightly - heard on Kilroy this morning:
KILROY (for it is he): What is it about Seattle?!?!?
FAT BLOKE (being serious): Well, it's the music, isn't it? Hendrix, the Stone Roses, people like that.

― DG, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

"Yes, but it always ends in masturbation".

The speaker - My ex.

Overheard by - the entire pub.

― Trevor, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Sounds like a nice girl..........

― Ronan, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

As you may well know, inpassing.org is all about this. My favourite:

"Dammit, would you stop being so PC? It's not stereotyping to say that gay men aren't attracted to women, it's a fact..."
--A girl having a heated conversation at an early hour outside my window

― Nick, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Since there is somethign vaguely voyeuristic about all this:
A folk singer named Damien Jurado (whose own work is spotty, at best) recently released a CD that consists solely of messages from answering machine tapes he found at Thrift Stores. Not sure about the legality of this, but there is something oddly fascinating about them -- particularly one from a man left on the machine of a woman who had just broken up with him.
― Joe Keyes, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

sorry

― Nick, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I can't get that inpassing.org site to work. Every single link I click on just brings up the same purple page.

― Croooooow, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Ah, wait a minute... it was just my connection fucking up. As you were.

― Croooooow, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

"I think like a squirrel", spoken by a sandal-wearing goth sitting in a tree.

― Otis Wheeler, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

1 year passes...

overheard by me and matos yesterday in boston.

"you're newly single? wow, i'm newly single too"

― gareth (gareth), Sunday, 13 October 2002 19:40 (10 years ago) Permalink

Behind me at a Rembrandt exhibition:

She: I used to think I quite liked Rembrandt, but then I decided there was too much brown.
He: I quite like the Impressionists.

I wondered by what means they had found themselves together at a Rembrandt show.

Similarly, when I went to see the movie The Elephant Man:

He: Oh, Anthony Hopkins. He's very good. He was in Psycho, you know.
She: Ooh, you don't half know a lot about films.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 13 October 2002 20:01 (10 years ago) Permalink

Overheard on a bus. One (elderly) woman describing to her friend how her husband had been busy with DIY all weekend, and had helped her with hanging new curtains :

"It was awful. He spent all weekend screwing up them pelvises!"

(I *hope* she meant 'pelmets')

― C J (C J), Sunday, 13 October 2002 20:27 (10 years ago) Permalink

http://www.murphguide.com/overheard.htm ...ahhh, drunk people talking

― , Sunday, 13 October 2002 22:26 (10 years ago) Permalink

I always try to record these on my mini-disc. One funny one I recorded in NYC was some girl yelling on a cell phone: " I was like fuck, your on fire, and he didn't even know how he was on fire, and he was running all around"

― A Nairn (moretap), Sunday, 13 October 2002 23:35 (10 years ago) Permalink

and I heard my next door neighbors the other day. As I was walking by, two of them were out in the hall, and one was holding the other back, who was raging mad, and he said "He can't steal my spells."

― A Nairn (moretap), Sunday, 13 October 2002 23:44 (10 years ago) Permalink

i haven't got anything funny to add to this that i can think of jus yet, but can i jus say it's 3.01, i'm in manchester very drunk and this thread is the funniest thing i ever read on ILX. god love you people. all o yers.

actually though, now i think about it, kinda cheating, but in alan bennet's book 'writing home' he quotes one man in a donkey jacket shouting at another likewise dressed in the street saying
"look, there's NOTHING you can teach ME about road-sweeping..."

― piscesboy, Monday, 14 October 2002 01:03 (10 years ago) Permalink

"Look, I shag you, and I buy you chips. What more do you want?"

― Sofa King Alternative (Sofa King Alternative), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:54 (10 years ago) Permalink

Guy talking on his mobile in my street a few months ago:

"Armed robbery's a very serious offence, you know!"

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:22 (10 years ago) Permalink

Quoted by Kenneth Williams in his Acid Drops collection, two students late one evening:
"The conversation was rather precious wasn't it?"
"Yes. But I fancy I kept my end up."
"Oh, indeed; but if you don't mind my mentioning it, Botticelli isn't a wine."
"Isn't it?"
"My dear chap, it's a cheese."

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:53 (10 years ago) Permalink

In the pub last night:

"Yeah so i got the money, got all me mates round to celebrate... Fish and chips all round, strawberries and champagne, you know, the works!"

― STeve.n., Monday, 14 October 2002 14:19 (10 years ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

In the seedy Post Office down the road, there was this limpy guy slumped over the counter taking all of his money out. As he was waiting, wondering what epic stuff this guy must get up to in his spare time, I heard him use the words "the court case", and talking about allegations and how it dragged on for 2 years. But he was withdrawing his last £41 of compensation.

He's my favourite person of the day.

― Graham (graham), Friday, 6 December 2002 16:35 (10 years ago) Permalink

This morning I heard a couple of yoofs on the train planning a scam on J-D Sports in Croydon tonight. Something about getting 3 pairs of shoes in 1 box, paying for them on a credit card and then returning one pair. One of them was the inside man. Should be going down right about now.

― Simeon (Simeon), Friday, 6 December 2002 16:52 (10 years ago) Permalink

Little kid in zoo: "I wanna see the tigers!"

Mother: "If we wanted to see tigers we would've visited daddy at work"

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 6 December 2002 23:38 (10 years ago) Permalink

There have been so numerous golden moments on Seattle buses that I could have captured, had I had the vision to buy a portable mini-disc recorder and compact mic.

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 7 December 2002 00:48 (10 years ago) Permalink

Today, outside my house, one 12 year year old to another: "I'm gonna overload on your mum's tits".

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Saturday, 7 December 2002 01:39 (10 years ago) Permalink

Skipping 309 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

at work two people were needing to take the elevator down, and stupidly got on an elevator going up. one of them protested, but the other insisted they needed to do this, explaining they would have to take the elevator back down when it reached the top.

the other person protested that they were just going to see the same people in the elevator on the way down, but the other person insisted they needed to take the up elevator to go down.

fairly sure if this confused them, the job must have pummelled them

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 6 August 2008 04:10 (4 years ago) Permalink

Hip-Hop dude coming up the escalator Grove Street PATH stop: "Yo, we just came across the water and already I'm noticing a drastic reduction in filth and fashion"

― Hurting 2, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 04:21 (4 years ago) Permalink

ancient black guy coming up to me at work today in his rascal scooter, vocalizing the tune to Strangers in the Night with the words 'Scooby-dooby-doo-scoo-scoo-scoo-scoob-and-Shaggy-too'

― remy bean, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 04:25 (4 years ago) Permalink

uf you heard someone walking around munmbling about filthy dominicans, thats me. never trust a dominican

― burt_stanton, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 05:19 (4 years ago) Permalink

5 months pass...

'i mean everyone and anyone has got to watch out for his mental insaneness, like !'

― Michael B, Saturday, 31 January 2009 15:23 (4 years ago) Permalink

^^^some vicky pollard-a-like in a caff yesterday

― Michael B, Saturday, 31 January 2009 15:25 (4 years ago) Permalink

4 months pass...

Female Intern: Who's Stan Lee?
Laid Back Male Intern: He's like the Leonardo of comic book artists
Pretentious Male Intern: Well, (sniff), of the second generation of comic book artists
Laid Back Male Intern: Ok whatever, the Rembrandt of comic book artists

― Garri$on Kilo (Hurting 2), Saturday, 6 June 2009 04:19 (3 years ago) Permalink

but but but.. stan lee isn't an artist!

― ian, Saturday, 6 June 2009 04:26 (3 years ago) Permalink

excerpted from a longer post on the Chicago thread about the hilarious pompous dude sitting the next table over from me at a restaurant:

[To set the stage: the dudes were talking about signing up for one of those organic vegetable things where you get a bag of organic groceries direct from the farm each week]
A: How do you know what vegetables you're going to get? Like, how do you know you won't just get a bagful of asparagus. You know how I feel about asparagus.
B: Well, you wouldn't get asparagus because it's not asparagus season.
A: That's good ... but what about when it is asparagus season? Can I, like, opt out for asparagus season? Because you know how I feel about asparagus.
B: ...
A: Look - I love my green vegetables. But you know how I feel about asparagus. [looks at list of vegetables you get on his friend's phone] Hmmm ... these look pretty good though. But are they certified organic?

― congratulations (n/a), Saturday, 6 June 2009 15:08 (3 years ago) Permalink

but but but.. stan lee isn't an artist!

It always seems weird to people like me who don't know anything much about comics that the people who are the real gods of the scene are the people who write the text, and the people who do the drawing don't seem to get anywhere near as much fanboy adoration. You know, seeing as to us non-comic-reading philistines being able to draw seems like a pretty rad talent to have and the main feature of "comics" as a concept, and the actual text seems like a less interesting deal, in a way.

But! That is not for this thread. Just sayin' cz it's made me shrug on a few occasions listening to somebody babble in worship of Alan Moore or Warren Ellis or Garth Ennis (lol total Britisher comics perspective?) or whoever and not even mention the art.

― a passing spacecadet, Saturday, 6 June 2009 15:34 (3 years ago) Permalink

Two geezers approaching one another in Leicester Square, one yelling to the other:

"Is it there? Is the fucking money there? It'd better fucking be there."

― man saves ducklings from (ledge), Saturday, 6 June 2009 16:20 (3 years ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

"I'm not trying to recruit her! I don't want her! I fucking hate her, the bitch."

― ledge, Sunday, 2 August 2009 22:14 (3 years ago) Permalink

Actor Michael Rapap@rt who I sort of love saying to a friend " . . . sometime something something HERPES something something" then looking back over his shoulder and yelling to me, "Not me, I don't have herpes!"

― ENBB, Monday, 3 August 2009 02:09 (3 years ago) Permalink

Overheard at a Starbux the other day: ""Unpasteurized is more healthier because it doesn't have the preservatives for a shelf life. Pasteurized is pasteurized."

― I am moving on baby, I am moving on (Pancakes Hackman), Monday, 3 August 2009 14:52 (3 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

""..and then he swaps the baby for an ipod.."

― When two tribes go to war, he always gets picked last (James Morrison), Monday, 17 August 2009 23:25 (3 years ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

"she's still technically his wife cause he passed away before she signed the divorce papers, but she had been livin with this other man in colorado and she just had a baby by him and how are you still gonna go to a man's funeral wearing the wedding ring when you're pregnant by another man in colorado"

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 25 October 2009 04:20 (3 years ago) Permalink

"he asked if I was 29 or 30 and I was like well I'm just not gonna say 29 or 30 because if you were under 30 and you were going out with a girl it'd be better if she was 29? Right? Right? RIGHT? So I'm, like, I'm not gonna, like, 29, 30, whatever. And then his friend like just asks me *outright*. And I just, erm, I just lie.

(pause - guy says something quietly)

So yeah, I just lie and say I'm 29, because he asked me, like, outright and ifyour're20somthingit'sgonnamakeadifferenceifyourgirlis29andnot30. So I totally lied and now, now, now he thinks I'm 29 and not, like 30".

(pause)
(pause)

(Guy): "If I was you I'd forget all about that conversation"

― ljubljana, Sunday, 25 October 2009 04:50 (3 years ago) Permalink

"They want to shine at someone else's expense. I shine at my OWN expense."

― oater to oxidation (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 25 October 2009 04:53 (3 years ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

"yeah well I have a different interpretation of Jack and Jill than she does"

― Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Friday, 15 January 2010 23:30 (3 years ago) Permalink

not so much 'best' just bizarre as i walked past two guys on campus

'He wont even marry her! the fucking faggot!'......HUH?

― Michael B, Friday, 29 January 2010 10:18 (3 years ago) Permalink

5 months pass...

At the bus stop coming home from work. Overweight (late?) middle aged woman to older man: "I GAVE you my ass!" And later something like: "That was a one time thing." Seems like he had some idea that he had a claim to it.

Yesterday on the bus some woman was going on at great length about the terms of her parole and the fact that she had to go on medication and she didn't want to but she was going to do it because she didn't want to go back to jail and HIS OWN MOTHER TRIED TO TURN HIM AGAINST ME, BUT HE DIDN'T LISTEN BECAUSE HE LOVES ME, and so on.

Unbelievable some of the stuff I hear on buses here, actually.

― _Rudipherous_, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 05:25 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

"I've never seen a white ice cream man."

― _Rudipherous_, Thursday, 29 July 2010 01:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

- "I think I'd like to move to Oregon. Theres no sales tax there."
- "My grandfather was shot in Oregon."
- "Oh. I'm sorry. Was it bad?"
-"Yeah. He died."

(Two baristas in Starbux.)

― VegemiteGrrrl, Thursday, 29 July 2010 01:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

1 year passes...

I am in a coffeeshop, sitting next to a guy who is arranging a "bi/poly deal" over the phone for his "female friend, who is a very sweet girl" and " what I would say... umm... it's not one of these 'I'm a horny guy who wants to crash it deal'...I know that it's a woman, rather than a guy, and women generally are welcome and single guys are generally not... but if you show up with a woman that's another matter, but a guy coming himself... heh, heh, oh REALLY?... well the stereotype is that us sci-fi guys are all virgins.... you think? you think? well, you're a tall good-looking guy, billy, so I can understand why they might take you instead of, I won't name any names... I'm 53, but I look a little younger. When I was younger, when I was 42, I brought a 19 year old... and just to keep in mind I'm not looking for something for myself, I'm more into one on one things with young girls, just asking for a friend. keep it in mind..."

― gnome rocognise gnome (remy bean), Thursday, 5 January 2012 23:17 (1 year ago) Permalink

in an airport, on the phone:

"I have a conscience, I don't need yours"

― sleeve, Friday, 6 January 2012 00:55 (1 year ago) Permalink

well-to-do couple on tube:

mrs pigbottom: did you just scratch your bum and smell your finger? don't do that, stop it stop it *smacks his hand*

mr pigbottom: *too out of breath to speak*

2 minutes pass

mr pigbottom: *wipes sweat away from upperlip*

mrs pigbottom: YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!

― Crackle Box, Friday, 6 January 2012 14:00 (1 year ago) Permalink

watching them slowly realise the whole carriage were exchanging glances / laughing at them was so so so so classic

― Crackle Box, Friday, 6 January 2012 14:02 (1 year ago) Permalink

"She wants to write for WHAT? For a magazine? For this, for that?"

― WATERMELON MAYNE aka the seed driver (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 6 January 2012 19:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

"... I would be the guy bashing down the doors and you would be the promiscuous tomboy..."

^snippet overheard between two forty-something men.

― ERIC CANONTA FOR PRESIDETN! (onimo), Tuesday, 24 January 2012 10:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

"... let's make lots of money ..."

― Mark G, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 10:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

'fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK you you're a fucker, mummy'

Four year old having quite the tantrum outside the window

― teaky frigger (darraghmac), Tuesday, 24 January 2012 10:49 (1 year ago) Permalink

"... I would be the guy bashing down the doors and you would be the promiscuous tomboy..."

^snippet overheard between two forty-something men.

― ERIC CANONTA FOR PRESIDETN! (onimo), Tuesday, January 24, 2012 10:31 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

man those guys are living life

― Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 10:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

those guys are tory mp's

― teaky frigger (darraghmac), Tuesday, 24 January 2012 10:54 (1 year ago) Permalink

Girl at next table in restaurant: "He said he would die for me, so I said 'go on then, die!'"

― if, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 12:54 (1 year ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

"her boyfriend came home and caught her drowning the youngest in the bath"
O_o

― knocked over like the last act in Mackbeth (onimo), Friday, 17 February 2012 17:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

Is it wrong to hope it was a kitten?

― knocked over like the last act in Mackbeth (onimo), Friday, 17 February 2012 17:28 (1 year ago) Permalink

That happened in LA a day or two ago (mother tries to drown her two kids - one dead, one in extremely critical condition). Probably talking about the news story.

― nickn, Friday, 17 February 2012 19:01 (1 year ago) Permalink

Could be, but it sounded like she was talking about someone she knew. This was in Glasgow btw

― knocked over like the last act in Mackbeth (onimo), Friday, 17 February 2012 19:05 (1 year ago) Permalink

http://www.ksee24.com/news/local/Mother-Snaps-Tries-to-Drown-Children-While-Father-Away-139456808.html

― The term “hipster racism” from Carmen Van Kerckhove at Racialicious (nakhchivan), Friday, 17 February 2012 19:07 (1 year ago) Permalink

Fucking hell :(

― knocked over like the last act in Mackbeth (onimo), Friday, 17 February 2012 19:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

Queuing out side a nightclub in Peterborough, circa 2000. Girl to her friend (thinking nobody could hear) "I could do with some cock in me tonight"

― mmmm, Friday, 17 February 2012 20:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

I was at Saver's today, and as "Genius of Love" played over the PA, one employee said to another, "That's the last time I ever James Brown with you."

― cashmere tears-soaker (Abbbottt), Thursday, 8 March 2012 01:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

i wish i could have heard more, but busy pavement etc

big burly guy in suit
"Nobodies fishing it, and nobodies blogging their tits off!"

(he could have meant phishing, who can tell)

― PSOD (Ste), Wednesday, 4 April 2012 10:59 (1 year ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

"It was ridiculous. They wanted me to write to ask for permission to get married in the church just because I had never been baptised or been a practising Catholic."

Woman on train not getting the ridiculous bit of that situation.

― Djibril Citté (onimo), Monday, 21 May 2012 13:02 (1 year ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

"Is Robert Johnson dead?"
"I don't think I know him."
"Used to play up the golf club, bit of a fuckin' lunatic..."
"You mean Ronnie Johnson?"
"Aye, Ronnie."
"Aye, he's deid."

― hipster Jubilee party (onimo), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 14:13 (11 months ago) Permalink

shame, how norway could use him now

― too cool graham rix listening to neu (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 14:19 (11 months ago) Permalink

few years back in Dublin I saw this couple exiting a shop, and as the man opened his wallet he said to the woman: "well... it's either baby food or cigarettes".

― ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 14:20 (11 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

"Don't fucking phone me again until I can hear you!"

― maybe it's a Hartlepool scarf? (onimo), Friday, 27 July 2012 12:52 (9 months ago) Permalink

"Oh you mean Atlantic City? I meant at the bus stop."

― cwkiii, Friday, 3 August 2012 12:45 (9 months ago) Permalink

"Either way, he's definitely going to be deported."

― spastic heritage, Friday, 3 August 2012 13:30 (9 months ago) Permalink

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