My father has a hard on and it won't go away.

Well, OF COURSE NOT, if you're gonna name a thread "My father has a hard on and it won't go away"

i have no advice, unfortunately. i'm not a doctor.

for treatment of early priapism (6 hours or less), you could use a cheap decongestant that contains pseudoephedrine (like Sudafed, in North America). but if this has been going on for 72 hours, it's critically important to drain the blood and let the penis detumesce. the loss of blood flow to the penis for that long can lead to serious complications, from fibrosis of the blood vessels (producing impotence) to loss of the penile tissue from ischemic necrosis. that's why they need the fat syringes.

it's hard for me to believe that the doctors aren't taking your father's condition seriously. priapism requires urgent care, especially if it's, uh, long-standing, as in your father's case. but at least they're draining the blood, which is what they should be doing.

you wrote that your father has a "priapism condition". do you mean by this that he's had this happen before? if he hasn't already, he really will need to have this investigated. all sorts of things can cause priapism, including certain drugs (including marijuana, so scratch that idea too) or medications, blood clotting disorders (like sickle-cell anemia), and obstructions of venous drainage of the penis (which may be a sign of cancer). even so, many cases of priapism are called "idiopathic", which just means the doctors don't know what's happening.

i hope your father comes out of this ok.

[/montypython]

The doctors don't seem to take his pain seriously, that is they don't give him any sort of pain-killer, besides some sort of freezing agent on it during draining.

oh, and can i have the photo?

They did that to me to, dq. I haven't been on them for years, but I've considered going on them again just for the semi-tantric effect.

"the shrink"

obviously.

something is definitely wrong with this picture, unless of course it's just for shits and giggles, in which case, something is definitely still wrong with this picture.

huh?

"couldn't you just f*** it until he spoofed, and that would be the remedy?"

It's a genuine query, she's quite serious. Any experts out there?

Each time I read the thread title, I hear Morrissey singing it.

still the funniest thread ever

Each time I read the thread title, I hear Morrissey singing it.

-- the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, February 19, 2004 11:12 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

ROFL

Hi My father very root with me what can I do?

http://www.b3tards.com/u/c2d08cf4e23cfbd9a0c0/duck_hunt_dog.gif

Each time I read the thread title, I hear Morrissey singing it.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, February 19, 2004 5:12 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol

Poor Ashley, I wonder if her dad was okay in the end.

Morrisey may well have understood the problem
http://www.slicingupeyeballs.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/morrisseyandband.jpg

Did Jim ever get his Kelly pic?

Each time I read the thread title, I hear Kelly Osbourne singing it.

no pic :(

BLOOD SAUSAGE

keep the meme alive

Which of these scenarios is more disturbing?

Ashley's father: Hey, Ashley. (takes out penis) Does this look normal? It's been like this for 72 hours.
Ashley: (looks at father's penis) No, dad, I don't think that's normal. It's purple and hanging off of you like a blood sausage.

or

Ashley: (looks at father's penis periodically over the course of 72 hours) Dad, I couldn't help but notice that you've had an erection for the past 72 hours, and now it's purple and hanging off of you like a blood sausage.

http://ashleyandel.tumblr.com/ask

Each time I read the thread title, I hear Morrissey singing it.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, February 19, 2004 5:12 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

quoting this one more time. well done.

My Dad used to have his yearly day in the bathroom, where he would set up camp with a few towels, some scissors and a bottle of Nair. He would emerge all grey and pink-stubbly, like a plucked stork. Apparently, he did this because he was sick of having to take a shower after every bowel movement.

― Ashley Andel, Wednesday, October 30, 2002 2:11 AM (13 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I imagine that it was some Muzak or something, as I was conceived in a hospital bed (my Dad's--apparently he had tubes hanging out from every which way and everybody thought he was going to die, incl. my mother, who took the opportunity to get in "one last time"...).

― Ashley Andel, Monday, November 4, 2002 10:38 PM (13 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I am serious--my Mom only screwed my Dad because she thought he looked like Rod Stewart, ergo I owe my existence to the man. Do you owe your life to anybody?

― Ashley Andel, Sunday, November 3, 2002 9:35 PM (13 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Consider the possibility of using technology (i.e. TOP SECRET technology) to stage the Second Coming of Christ. What if the next terrorist attack is more psychological? What if all of the sudden on September 11, the fucking sky turns an ominous hue and a gigantic silver Messiah appears at Ground Zero? Imagine that a NEW PERFECT AMERICA appears and all the sodomites spontaneously burst into tossing flames because some higher power implanted shit in them? We undoubtedly have the technology to do so... Let's imagine how obsolete the mass population can be, shall we?

― Ashley Andel, Friday, September 6, 2002 9:26 PM (13 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I was recently approached by a very well-to-do thirty-something year old woman who offered me an undisclosed but large amount of money to favor her sexually. I have a girlfriend who desperately wants an oboe, and those things are really expensive. If I was to accept the offer, I would be able to buy her one. I have talked to my girlfriend about this situation, and she is firmly against it, even though she knows of my intentions for the money. What should I do?

― Ashley Andel, Tuesday, August 27, 2002 12:54 PM (13 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Concentrate on the parts of yourself that you are afraid or even unwilling to venture into. Just a quick suggestion...

― Ashley Andel, Thursday, October 10, 2002 9:58 PM (13 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Is Momus destroying my hearing?
I like his stuff, but it hurts to listen to it for over fifteen min.!

― Ashley Andel, Friday, August 23, 2002 8:19 PM (13 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Each time I read the thread title, I hear Morrissey singing it.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, February 19, 2004 5:12 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

quoting this one more time. well done.

― mizzell, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:59 (10 minutes ago) Permalink

It's also a sentence I can add to my list of lines that fit the verse melody of Head Over Heels

http://www.youtube.com/user/ashleyandel

One can also sing the thread title to the tune of "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy Of Company B". FYI.

My father has a hard on and it won't go away

^ I'm sure that was the name of a Swans album.

Coming up for November and nearly 18 years since that dreadful 72 hours.

also blood sausage is delicious

Hi My father very root with me what can I do?

Hi My father's root very root with him what can he do?

I was thinking about “my father very root with me” the other week. Back in the day the reaction was this was something to laugh at, but thinking about it in 2020 it was probably some poor kid who couldn’t speak English as their first language being sexually abused.

Sorry for downer

not sure how you are assuming this yahoo answers person is being sexually abused but ok

yeah i'm sure someone who posted that their father was very 'root' with them in the Home and Garden section was really secretly reporting thier sexual assault and not taking a bit of piss

https://i.imgur.com/jDcFLkj.jpg

a family tree with strong roots

a poor kid who couldn't speak English but did know Australian slang

Admit when I remembered it I hadn't realised it was originally posted in the home and garden section so I guess IDK what the intention was behind it

One day we will get to the root of the matter