How Terrified Are You? January 2017

http://www.theonion.com/multiblogpost/i-am-so-starving-vs-i-am-so-starving-11541

I only talked about one because there was an investigation on the circumstances by a law student at Northeastern that culminated in a presentation where my dad's cousin, who was approaching his teenage years at the time, spoke about how the whole thing affected our family.

This was the final report: http://nuweb9.neu.edu/civilrights/wp-content/uploads/samuel-mason-bacon.pdf

This is the type of thing we can expect to see a direct resurgence of; we may have already gotten a preview with what happened to Sandra Bland.

6. If I was in the US it would no doubt be higher.

But the larger point is bigger than me or things that have happened in my family; current events culminate in tacit federal approval of the targeting specifically of Muslims and Hispanics for hate crimes. Unless we fight, we will see abuses against those people rise dramatically. We need to stop things before they escalate beyond that and push back so that those abuses subside because we've all seen how this script plays out multiple times and if "American exceptionalism" is to mean anything other than "yay white people no matter how mediocre they are", it needs to be about learning from history and not making the same mistakes people who came before us made.

Broad fronts that want to bury the specificity of victims are some bullshit, basically

leftbros that are convinced you can't address the specific harms suffered by marginalized groups and the universal harms suffered by workers under capitalism in the same platform make me furious

steve bannon being in charge of a thing where he can order assassinations of US citizens without restraints has probably nudged me up the anxiety ladder a bit further

xps thanks, lion in winter! what are your thoughts on applying for citizenship right now? my husband wants me to do so ASAP because he's a catastrophizer of the highest order and is paranoid all non-citizens are getting the boot; i, on the other hand, think now is a bad time to apply because everything is too up in the air and probably a zillion other people are desperately trying to fasttrack their naturalizations.

also: the govt positioning itself in absolute opposition to mainstream media is scary af

bill o'reilly condemning the immigration ban - wtf the apocalypse is coming. this guy is such a piece of shit, that if even HE thinks this is awful... well.

I thought O'Reilly had the occasional outbreak of humanity?

Dershowitz critical of Yates

they gave me 4 little pitas instead of 1 big one

― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 00:58

You might say that's a real two-tortilla burrito

the reason i bumped the original 'how terrified are you' thread and asked for a repoll was because at work i noticed the iranians were mostly talking amongst themselves throughout the day and i felt like they were seeking each others' support, naturally, because of the travel ban announced on the weekend

everyone has their own coping mechanism obviously and it's obvious that because of my appearance and socioeconomic situation, i feel way less threatened and experience the world differently. but these colleagues of mine are fairly well off and some had even expressed agreement with some (albeit few) of trump's opinions. one iranian in particular had told me his theory about the us-iran political tension (won't get into it here), which put him at odds with some iranians

so ya, i'm on the lower end of this terrified-spectrum, but i saw that they were genuinely very concerned. i sympathize and see how a lot of other people are genuinely freaking out for valid reasons. among many other things, that trump has created an environment of the unexpected where racism can thrive. he is now using the attack on the quebec mosque to create greater distrust of muslims. this distrust is permeating through a lot of people and causing instability in various parts of society, and it doesn't only open the country up to coups, foreign attacks, etc, but has really fractured american society, where things can be misinterpreted and there's this mass confusion even within families

personally, in terms of coping, i find laughter to be helpful, and i've seen other people do the same when they were worried about getting bombed, but that's just me

(wrote this while doing a million things at work which i probably shouldnt have done so forgot the overall point i was making)

just1n3

i am applying for my us citizenship now (waiting for an interview)

was given more conservative advice that goes contrary to what lion in winter says

the way i understood it, the law is ambiguous when it comes to punishment for misdemeanours, crimes of moral turpitude, etc

thing is, in my circle at least, we view the us as draconian, so tread carefully i'd say

No, F Sharp, your post makes perfect sense and is an honest 'slice of life', it's not pointless at all. May I ask what sort of work you do? What branch your Iranian colleagues are in?

I know quite a few Iranians, and have become close friends with a few through gf. Got to know them over the years and I am genuinely impressed by how smart, resourceful and 'flexible' they are, all in v different areas of life and work (law, it, engineering, journalism). More than one - unrelated young men - expressed that growing up in a schizophrenic Iran (tyrant state, but behind closed doors, 'underground', quite some personal freedom) might have contributed to that 'flexibility', being able to take things in stride, and knowing that relying on yourself can get you a long way.

Don't mean to generalize, but the way they cope with setbacks and find their way in a world outside the country they grew up is really impressive.

supply chain management!

ya there are all types of people, but my experience working with them has been p good

Thats cool.

one dude tells me crazy stories about iran

it's fun learning things about how they experienced the 70s over there

and he's into music too so we talk about gougoush and stuff (we're in la as is she i blv)

Ahh that's great, Googoosh is in LA yes. And I hear you about the 'crazy stories'.

at a steady 6 with surges to 8 when i start to think too much about stuff or think about SB at all
mom advised me wisely not to stress on tr*mp because he doesn't deserve my energy and is not worth it; but i am the same person who has had a google alert for erik prince for at least 5 (6?) years so i can keep track of what that malevolent warthog is up to. i have a very high tolerance for bad news and still find myself unable to sleep; i have a strong stomach unless we're talking about misogyny or strong anti-immigrant rhetoric. most of the time i am ok when i am at work or out/with friends, less so at home. i've decided that one room of my home will be totally unconnected to the outside world so i can still have a place to breathe and relax when i am there. or pretend at least.

i do recall being relieved that i lived close enough to a major target that i would likely be vaporized rather than having to fight off mutants and wild dogs etc
the threat of being vaporized has always been soothing; it's life in a repressive regime that i find terrifying. worrying about people finding something to nail me on even though i have done nothing to get nailed on :( ilx actually makes it worse because of sockpuppets and/or nameless faceless strangers being intentionally antagonistic.

my russian and chilean coworkers who lived through the '70s in their countries of origin (and are old enough to remember) both agreed that this feels worse, and more unpredictably surreal than their prior experiences with repression :( :( :(

also betsy devos could (might?) destroy my workplace, which provides valuable life-changing education to an underserved community :( :( :(

on the upside, ilm is still a place i can comfortably talk about music and chat about the most powerful jaki jams, which is definitely relaxing and enjoyable

hey ∞, when did you begin the process? i'd be interested in knowing how long it takes between applying and getting an interview.

sept!

i've heard in california, where i'm at, everything takes longer though because of the huge number of applicants/population

Re: Googoosh - http://www.thefader.com/2017/01/31/googoosh-donald-trump-muslim-ban-london

Aw no no no... :( That bums me out. This fucking world.

i'm back at 11 today. if I had a normal brain, I could maybe get by. with OCD, every possible worst case scenario keeps flashing in my head and I can't stop it, not helped at all by me surrounding myself with material that confirms my own fears.

i've vowed today to just go on living my life and take 1-2 hours out of the day to review current affairs, then move on, but i'm having difficulty. stifling panic attacks all day is just suffocating, I can't go through this for four years....the last three have been bad enough.

FUCK.

the idea of emigrating and fighting it from abroad is something I never thought I'd legit consider and yet now it's all I think of.

so that's what it's like to post during a panic attack! i'm ok now

i spike up to 8 but I'm doing my darnedest to maintain a 4 or 5. I know if I stay at 8 every waking hour of every day I'll be 10 in no time and a blibbering mess by march.

marathon not a sprint, etc. need to save my energy for the inevitable actual hunger games j/k not really but kinda

, I want people to feel like they have a real personal stake in this to create genuine solidarity

Finally catching up on this thread and what the fuck

listening to the latest Hardcore History is making me shoot right up to 10 tbh

preferring for now to take the Brian Eno line of "this is the end of something, not the beginning of it," which helps. (not that living through such things is ever desirable...)

i spent much of last summer reading things like "the rise and fall of the third reich" and timothy snyder's books, watching Shoah and other WW2 docs--i realize now i was unconsciously girding myself for something like this.

I will say that in no way is our situation as precarious as that, but one thing you learn from that kind of immersion is that resolving to fight, to go down fighting if need be, is far less anxiety inducing than imagining yourself a victim. you have to believe you have agency and self-determination and some control over the situation even if you dont. i dont know how this cashes out in reality, but just as a psychological stance to take--aggressive not passive--it is calming. and probably more productive too.

The Decline and Fall of the US Empire?
Wouldn't be so scary if it was self contained to Washington or at least the political element therein. Draining the swamp by imploding and sucking out the bad with you?
Better than swamping the drain anyway.
Wonder how long things will sit stagnant and festering.

I'm still optimistically hoping for a deus ex-machina of some kind or a united public getting rid of the administration. But from what I've heard there isn't a complete overturn of what is a group of disgusting individuals, it would all be the one individual.

Not sure if the next in line being absolutely unfitting would have less opportunity to be replaced but it would drag things out.

2. but i live in england. if i lived in the US probably be a 6 or 7.

can't say i'm any more worried about nuclear war than i was in the late 70's early 80's when i was a kid ie i was worried for about an hour after watching 'threads' then forgot all about it.

Holy balls, I almost never FP a poster but it was necessary, if not necessarily cathartic.

I'm on a pretty solid 6, rising to 8 when there are specific policy announcements/EOs or I'm on the phone with my mother, who voted for 45 and yesterday said 'I think he's a workaholic' (this was a positive) combined with a bunch of gaslighty shit - I finally told her to stop talking about it because we are not going to agree. Marching makes me feel less alone, especially in London.

Who did you FP?

there was one particular rotten apple on this thread yesterday that must be the prime candidate.

Oh, I'd forgotten that bizarre episode.

Something shifted in me between last night and this morning and I'm absolutely terrified.

The craziness that is a riot at Berkeley taking over right-wing news outlets-- while the Texas mosque burning was barely a blip, "violence is never the answer" assholes coming out of the woodwork, confirmation after confirmation, executive order after executive order. I read the antifa reddit this morning and saw it was polluted with clearly-fake information designed to disrupt and confuse any possible organization. I feel as if my perception of the world is crumbling very fast.

The interesting feeling I had last night was that I began to respect the alt-right movement for how successful it has been at shaping the internet into a gaslighting race-warmongering hellhole, and simultaneous with that feeling of respect was a desire to absolutely commit myself to the destruction of that movement.

I feel conflicted about using my public voice for any sort of political means.. last night when I was reading the news about Berkeley I almost rage-tweeted "Make America Declare War On Fascism Again" with images of Mussolini's corpse. Probably not a good thing. I don't know what to do any more except to turn off the news, attend marches, and make work

Yeah, I'm thinking more and more that the internet needs to become a secondary tool wrt organization and resistance.

fgti are you a dual citizen?

Absolutely turn off the news, a state of constant alarm will kill you

No Morbs, Canadian. I have an renewable O1 visa, and had been living and working in L.A. this past year-- I'm not sure if it was legal or not that I was doing so, as the O1 visa is for soloists/athletes who come to the states for gigs or games and then go home. I just moved back to Canada for a job and think I'm gonna stay here. As a non-US citizen I didn't feel safe about participating in activist activities the same way I have in the past in Canada.

sitting in a bathtub twitching so I'm once again trying the "break from news/social media" thing that I've failed two days in a row now. i think the general principles are good to follow:

1) take a break from the news periodically and dont keep refreshing it every 5 minutes - it'll be waiting for you when you come back to it
2) worrying is nowhere near as productive as strategizing and acting
3) our ability to predict outcomes in situations like these is middling at best
4) giving in to despair makes any action less effective
5) react to what has happened, and stop assuming Machiavellian strategizing behind every bit of news
6) don't forget to keep living in the process

I've decided that once I've had my inevitable brain or cardiac event, I'll ease up on the current events and maybe just stick to like SVU marathons.

neanderthal, that's all excellent advice. wishing you the best. i'm still up and down but am more up today. i'm finding that getting out a lot, getting involved on the ground with blm, etc., is really helping, though i'm constantly emotionally exhausted.

i expect the 2017 Baseball Prospectus annual delivered today

so that'll hold me til next Schumer protest on Tuesday

I had a much better day - walked five miles, met a friend for lunch, devised a truly banging chilli paneer to boot the last of a head cold, and managed to process most of the twin shitstorms (Brexit is not helping either) without wanting to scream.

been unfollowing people on instagram that post too much Trump content. which for me is more than 2 a day. i signed up to see your art or your kid or your house party, not to see a retweet of a tweet with a comment complaining about how much that person tweets. this morning at 730am while waiting for the bus i read one of these, it was a picture of Trump's tweet and the comment was this long rant about why is this guy tweeting at 6am. who the fuck cares? i figure if he orders a missile strike on Mexico i'm not going to rely on an instagram meme to find out.