Jolly Ranchersjawbreakerstoffeetaffy/Now & Later
there is only one correct answer to this question
― ¶ (DJP), Monday, 9 January 2017 19:12 (seven years ago) link
nerds
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Monday, 9 January 2017 19:13 (seven years ago) link
the GOAT
http://i1.walesonline.co.uk/incoming/article11024677.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/toffetsd.jpg
― Number None, Monday, 9 January 2017 19:18 (seven years ago) link
i like chocolate
― flappy bird, Monday, 9 January 2017 19:20 (seven years ago) link
thats like toffifee
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Monday, 9 January 2017 19:24 (seven years ago) link
it's okay to like chocolate but it's undeniably true that chocolate would be better if it was also capable of pulling out your teeth with a careless chew
― ¶ (DJP), Monday, 9 January 2017 19:25 (seven years ago) link
Yes, like Riesen is the perfect, delicious synthesis of chocolate and grill-destroying road tar.
― Dr. Shitfuck (Old Lunch), Monday, 9 January 2017 19:30 (seven years ago) link
I fucking hate toffee/taffy. Jolly Ranchers and jawbreakers are OK but nothing I'm attached to. Going with the second option.
― My Body's Made of Crushed Little Evening Stars (Sund4r), Monday, 9 January 2017 19:33 (seven years ago) link
hate all of these
― jason waterfalls (gbx), Monday, 9 January 2017 19:41 (seven years ago) link
this is also why the best candy bars are Charleston Chew and 100 Grand
― ¶ (DJP), Monday, 9 January 2017 19:59 (seven years ago) link
(honorable mention to Heath bar/Skor)
emeralds. actually lost a premolar to one
― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Monday, 9 January 2017 20:07 (seven years ago) link
Sweettarts were always my favorite all time candy, but they are relatively general. But I also loved Gobstoppers, which could be challenging until you go to the sweettart like center.
― Jeff, Monday, 9 January 2017 20:12 (seven years ago) link
I love the flavor of Sweettarts; I will allow them since the probability that you will cut the inside of your mouth/your gumline while eating them is approximately 95%
― ¶ (DJP), Monday, 9 January 2017 20:46 (seven years ago) link
This thread is making me hungry for a Butterfinger.
― o. nate, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 01:52 (seven years ago) link
Dan do you also feel the best roller coasters are the ones without lap bars
― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 02:55 (seven years ago) link
love the flavor of Sweettarts; I will allow them since the probability that you will cut the inside of your mouth/your gumline while eating them is approximately 95%
― ¶ (DJP), Monday, January 9, 2017 3:46 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this was my favorite candy as a kid until I ate so much one night I almost vomited.
now it's my second favorite
jujubes
― tha frash prance (alomar lines), Tuesday, 10 January 2017 06:18 (seven years ago) link
U FORGOT MILK DUDS
I lost two of my baby teeth to those fucking things. On separate occasions.
― Futuristic Bow Wow (thewufs), Tuesday, 10 January 2017 07:45 (seven years ago) link
MILK DUDS RULE
― (The caption: “fine dining.”) (DJP), Tuesday, 10 January 2017 12:55 (seven years ago) link
I will never understand some people's tastes in sweets.
― My Body's Made of Crushed Little Evening Stars (Sund4r), Tuesday, 10 January 2017 13:27 (seven years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Tuesday, 17 January 2017 00:01 (seven years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Wednesday, 18 January 2017 00:01 (seven years ago) link
WIMPS
― (The caption: “fine dining.”) (DJP), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 13:30 (seven years ago) link
toothache is soul-destroying tbf
― Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 14:19 (seven years ago) link
true
OTOH, candy is a wonderful replacement for a soul
― (The caption: “fine dining.”) (DJP), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 14:22 (seven years ago) link
Milk duds are for touristsSugar Daddys are the real masochists delight
― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 14:26 (seven years ago) link
right next to the stale Now & Later's left over from people's kids' Halloween bags that usually come out right about now
― frogbs, Wednesday, 18 January 2017 14:28 (seven years ago) link
I always think of Jolly Ranchers as hard candy, what we call boiled sweets. should've had an option for roof-of-the-mouth ulcers from sucking on too many of those
― Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 14:28 (seven years ago) link
wait, so what would you consider to be "candy"
― (The caption: “fine dining.”) (DJP), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 14:45 (seven years ago) link
Those Highland Toffee bars surely win this thread
― kinder, Wednesday, 18 January 2017 16:01 (seven years ago) link
There were once calls for McCowan’s to make a Highland Toffee surf board A surfer’s website once called for McCowan’s to make a disposable anti-shark Surfboard, made entirely from Highland Toffee. They suggested that any shark attacking such a board would find its teeth so gummed together that it would be unable to attack the surfer who could then escape.The idea prompted Alan McCafferty, who owned the company at that point to respond: ”If there’s a profit in toffee surfboards, I’ll make them.”
A surfer’s website once called for McCowan’s to make a disposable anti-shark Surfboard, made entirely from Highland Toffee. They suggested that any shark attacking such a board would find its teeth so gummed together that it would be unable to attack the surfer who could then escape.
The idea prompted Alan McCafferty, who owned the company at that point to respond: ”If there’s a profit in toffee surfboards, I’ll make them.”
― kinder, Wednesday, 18 January 2017 16:03 (seven years ago) link
sorry i thought the whole thread was about chewy stuff and there was some weird Jolly Rancher i'd never seen
― Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 18:16 (seven years ago) link
ah, no this is about all types of confectionery that can wreak havoc on your mouth, hard or chewy
(there are Jolly Rancher chews out there, tho)
― (The caption: “fine dining.”) (DJP), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 18:41 (seven years ago) link
lol why did I create this poll
― DJP, Friday, 18 December 2020 20:46 (three years ago) link
It was a simpler time
― mildew and sanctimony (soda), Friday, 18 December 2020 20:47 (three years ago) link
I lost a filling to a Jujubee.
― Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 18 December 2020 20:49 (three years ago) link
These results are messed up. It’s not like you can’t brush your teeth right after you spoil them.
― pomenitul, Friday, 18 December 2020 20:50 (three years ago) link
there’s a great scene in the Guided By Voices documentary where Mitch Mitchell is brushing his teeth and keeps pausing periodically to take a drag off a cigarette
― brimstead, Friday, 18 December 2020 21:11 (three years ago) link
― pomenitul, Friday, December 18, 2020 12:50 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
we're talking the kind of candy that breaks your teeth when you bite or rips out something out you open your mouth after biting down. not sugar content
― Babby's Yed Revisited (jim in vancouver), Friday, 18 December 2020 21:12 (three years ago) link
^^^^
― DJP, Friday, 18 December 2020 21:15 (three years ago) link
my sister got me a bag of sockerbit for christmas; it's real good
― the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Friday, 18 December 2020 22:07 (three years ago) link
Ah, my bad. I would like to revise my opinion, then: these results are very much correct.
― pomenitul, Friday, 18 December 2020 22:28 (three years ago) link
I love Bit-o-Honey but I'm afraid they'll rip my molars out.
― Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 18 December 2020 22:31 (three years ago) link
I pulled out (and ruined) a crown eating a Milk Dud
never again
― howls of non-specificity (sleeve), Friday, 18 December 2020 22:32 (three years ago) link