My momma made me learn this song: a gay Winter for 2015

Hi gays! Glad this thread was bumped, because I have some feelings of my own that I feel like barfing up...

The husband and I going to an event tomorrow night where there will be a lot of people--friends of my family, mainly--that I haven't seen in years and in some cases, since I was a little kid. I expect it'll be fun and nostalgic for the most part, but I just realized that I will, in effect, be coming out all over again to many of these people. This should be nbd, of course, as I've been out to my family and friends for years now, but as I go around introducing lots of people to my husband tomorrow night, I'm feeling like I'm gonna be reliving the whole process all over again. My coming out was hardly traumatic, as many people's are, so maybe I should just shut up about this and deal with my (very mild) discomfort, but it is still a weird feeling. I suspect that a lot of heteros--and even a lot of homos, etc, before they actually experience it--think that coming out is this one shot thing where once your out, your out to the world, but it really is a process of coming out over and over and over again. Anyone else feel this way?

The continuous project of "coming out" socially doesn't really feel like a problem for me but I do find myself paying attention whenever I first mention "my boyfriend" to see how it plays. In general I think it's easier when your partner is present or when you have a partner you can bring up in conversation. Surely part of that is just expedient -- you have someone else you can easily, organically refer to that gives your identity that context -- but I also think maybe it's easier to "come out" as part of a couple. "We're gay, together" is more socially palatable than "I, myself, am gay."

Good point! Having a boyfriend/husband to introduce immediately takes care of a lot of dancing around the issue. Though I still expect to be doing a lot of reading of facial expressions to gauge reactions.

hi everyone. i haven't been on the boards in forever but i wandered by to talk about music and figured i should say hi and i miss you all and hope you're well.

i've been in Toronto for 19 months, and single for 20 (which has been awesome, mostly. ignoring boys altogether has been really healthy tbh after two consecutive long term relationships that both ended poorly), and unemployed for 6-7 months but ~fingers crossed~ that looks like it could be changing soon finally (maybe, i shouldn't jinx it). i took over the lease in the apartment I was subletting a few months ago and painted the whole place and it feels almost like home, so maybe 2016 will be a good year? it's too early to tell.

i still haven't figured out how to date in this city, and for a while most of my friends here were straight folks which literally hadn't happened since these threads started - it was all very "I have no gay friends in town" but I turned a bad date into a good friend last summer and then met a bunch of awesome queer women and then recently met some neighbourhood gays who gather every month or two to make DUMPLINGS! and whatnot.

i don't know why the board ALL CAPSed the word DUMPLINGS!. is this a board thing I've forgotten about in my time away?

apparently so.

DUMPLINGS!

Sorry, I had to test for myself. Weird.

Also, hi Alex!

hello Alex! have missed you

hi, Alex!

DUMPLINGS! always deserve all caps, rarely do i think about them without that level of enthusiasm

hi gays let's have leek DUMPLINGS!

http://drinks.seriouseats.com/images/2011/08/20110815leekDUMPLINGS!.jpg

http://drinks.seriouseats.com/images/2011/08/20110815leekDUMPLINGS!.jpg

http://amybsherman.com/images/brusselssproutDUMPLINGS!.JPG

argh

tbh i'm not as into DUMPLINGS! as all my friends are! but hi Alex :) !!

i basically eat two things: french fries and pasta.

also Alfred i know i've been bad but i'll give you some juicy posts for tomorrow

my life is finally like not in shambles phew

hi gays let's have leek DUMPLINGS!!

Spring thread title.

ALEX!!!! Hi! Hello!!

i basically eat two things: french fries and pasta.

get back to us when you're 40, sweetz

omg ok

and if you're still slim we will HATE you :D

being slim doesn't look so great with age anyway you need a little color for fuck's sake

well i still don't have color, cept ive been kinda green all week with a choking cough. :/ It's finally turning uh 'productive.'

Also a week from Sunday i'm going to see Louis Garrel do a Q&A after the film he directed. Do you all have any... questions?

http://www.out.com/sites/out.com/files/2015/01/23/LouisGarrel-PFW.jpg

he is s0 cute

Louis, can you show me how you tongued Gaspard Ulliel in Saint Laurent? kthnkx

so like last night i got drunk but not too drunk but drunk, and i made myself dinner at like 2am, which consisted basically of an avocado salad and then rice krispies for dessert, and now i feel like i can't eat anything

i honestly just want cream cheese

that's all!

i've been a bit of a slut this past week, it seems. it's been fun.

This is fun too: http://www.spin.com/2016/02/sam-smith-howard-ashman-we-should-date-oscars-academy-awards-foot-in-mouth/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

feel like i've known a lot of sam smiths in my life

good for you patron sailor! i need to figure something out. i have a thing on Sunday with another guy w/ a BF \o_O/

j0rdan is never gonna get in the gay mafia after what he tweeted about the Oscar twinks last week.

The Oscars had twinks?

S Smith and the waxy writer whose role in history he was unaware of!

Sam Smith hardly a twink. For that, try the GayVN awards.

i kneel at the twink throne

i have a date tonight omg

Louis Garrel was dashing and self-deprecating; his film stinks tho.

why do I sense that telling him this would turn him on

my date was cute! also young, which is pretty new for me. we had cocktails and afterward i drove him home & we made out in my car. to be cont'd.

I have started going to the gym! I have officially become ~one of them~

i will be the last holdout

L Garrel is quite self-effacing and direct-seeming, just a bit disappointing; but i'd still drink the bathwater.

i started going to the gym again recently too. it's a tiny one, only has treadmills/ellipticals, weight machines and free weights, and i am so clueless about how to use the machines - i think i might cop a personal training session or two if only for that reason

I have fallen back into the thing that was destroying my life last year
But we've talked and set up boundaries and we're all for it 100% and I'm not depressed any more and I'm, what's the opposite of cautiously optimistic? decisively optimistic

i have a job now? in an office? working super long hours but it's interesting (at least it's interesting two days into it) and rewarding and intellectually stimulating.

i am supposed to decorate my office in a way that conveys my personality and i'm trying to think of art or posters or something that are both gay and office appropriate.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4142/4886352646_6c9f2b99d9_z.jpg

are you required to decorate your office? My cubicle has a shelf for books. C'es tout.

it is...encouraged?

it was indicated to me by someone who has been here a year longer than me that personalizing offices is smiled upon by the partners etc. etc.

and tbh i will be spending long enough hours here (six day weeks!) that making this room slightly warmer and comfier probably is for the best.

i would just paint the walls black