drunk instructions

not to spill drink

take out contact lenses, put contact lenses in holder, double check to make sure lenses are in holder

dont trip loudly, they'll know

not time to drive yet

snack = shut up hunger + not too hard to make + not leave stove on

what music i like violent femmes kiss off use earbuds or they'll know

go to bed you're drunk

try real hard not to shlur yrr wrds.

yeah, they'll know

i'm worried about the contact lenses did i do it right go check

do not make phone calls

sometimes you forget the cigarette is it out

yeah i meant what i said but not how i said it i love you really xpost

god how did it all go so wrong i'm not usually like this

do not send emails

do i have my wallet still ok check one do i have my keys check two

do not accept offer of ride home from handsome preppy stranger

Check if you took out your lenses by seeing if they are in the holder, not by taking them out a second time.

i feel empty who's that guy camus we talked about this in class or no it's sartre fuck get back out there and dance with girls what's wrong with you i wish they'd play temptation or silent morning i can't dance to black eyed peas

Mouthwash swallow: do not.

watch out for the glass--

Get out of bed and go close your front door/take out the key you left in the outside lock.

Stop drinking at a sensible time if you know you have to spend hours in a glasshouse in the sun the next day :-(

there's someone i know by sight but not by name; bro hug or just head nod jesus i got to be up early tomorrow (glasshouse) i should have quit drinking an hour a gogo i'm a man out of time elvis costello god i used to love him now he barely rates where time go

remember we've had a fox around and the damn cat always tries to scoot out when you open the door; don't let the cat out i don't want to have to get the cat

it's only a mile and a half just keep one eye closed so no double vision you can drive fine shit i should rethink that what are my principles

ok im home never do that again

o shit i left the stove on

oh shit where's the cat

i need to remember this feeling in my everyday life and REALLY live it don't give up kate bush my god why don't i feel like this all the time

who did you come with, they're your ride, check up, who did you come with, i don't know these people, where's ellen

fuck you ellen, you found a dude, i need to get home

desire! jene loves jezebel. i need to get home tho, ellen

i left the cigarette burning on the sink there's a burn stain this is not my house let's go ellen

fuck you ellen why you want me to go out places i'd be with you if you only wanted i know you better than anyone

remember last time you told ellen and what happened, we're just friends remember

love and pride! king. i love you but you don't so where's my pride. i need to get home. ellen. don't make me knock on that door. i don't know these people, i'm on the periphery of the conversation circle without being in it, my volleys get no return, let's go. i don't even care. i finally found all my courage to let it all go the cure. let's go.

fuckit, tonight i think i'll walk alone i'll find my soul as i go home, ellen. fuck you and your green eyes new order. i forget what i was talking about.

read drunk posts when sober. apologize if possible. hide if necessary.

read drunk posts when sober. apologize if possible. hide if necessary.

drink water, eat food

Make sure ashtray is completely cool before emptying into trashcan. No, *really* make sure.

Making that post to ILX: do you really need to

modulate yr intentions: maintaining a pleasant buzz vs. obliteration/ excising the outside world. are you an observer gary numan or a participant. tether line to yr core humanity; you want to drift but never disconnect. why is dance an extension of drunk, i can drunk but i can't dance, blind vision blancmange. it's getting harder, it's getting hard.

uptake: put yr head back in the clouds and shut yr mouth

god dammit, ellen, you don't even know. once there was a world where you were everything.

i can't even draw a map of that world anymore

where ARE you right now? you can't let go until you're on the mattress. take it one step atta time until you're on the mattress, then you can let go. keep process and procedure in mind. keep process and procedure in mind. don let go of things. one step at time and then let go.

entire life is reduced to getting home and getting into bed safely; you can do this. maintain maintain.

yeah get into bed safely so you can start the same shit all over again. how about go fuck shit up and go to jail or something?

that activated my remorse sequence.

breaking character this is remembrances of drunks past i never ventured out of the house but ill quit this, sorry.

i would hurt myself before i hurt anything else; i internalize things not the inverse.

tis swell to have a safe thread (with no breakable things) for drunking, or remembrances of drunking

i internalize things not the inverse

you drunk after my own heart

thank you, you're best best person ever.i meant for this to be a joke thread where drunk digressions overwhelm rational intent but irl three's no way to maintain ironic distance. you are what you post.

nb i have been drinking, and have been the whole time.

don't shout "don't look at me!" into the mirror, especially in a public place.