Republicans Are People Too

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iff7mNsGK50

Poll Results

OptionVotes
are white 18
have feelings 9
and beards 4
shop at trader joes 3
tell us your story 3
are people who care 3
are people too 3
but probably dogs a little bit more than cats 2
enjoy gourmet cooking 2
drive priuses 2
listen to spotify 2
put together ikea furniture 2
in public 2
use macs 1
are black 1
are hispanic 1
are doctors 1
are left handed 1
are grandmas 1
moms 1
recycle 0
daughters 0
have tattoos 0
teachers 0
and cats 0
like dogs 0
welders 0
read the new york times 0
donate to charity 0
are asian 0


lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:17 (nine years ago) link

v. good poll

⌘-B (mh), Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:18 (nine years ago) link

are white duh

the late great, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:23 (nine years ago) link

i like the old time religious prejudice of 'are left-handed' but its hard to beat ARE WHITE in all caps

≖_≖ (Lamp), Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:25 (nine years ago) link

my favorite part is maybe how the beard they show is a goatee

lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:26 (nine years ago) link

but there are lots of great parts

lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:26 (nine years ago) link

they shdve used diff fonts to represent the diff races tho imo

lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:27 (nine years ago) link

At least the guy behind it is honest:

Minchillo is not advising any campaigns at the moment. That, he says, makes it the perfect time to start a grassroots campaign to change the Republican Party’s image. And yes, it is a grassroots effort—no Koch money involved.

But what if the Koch brothers did want to get involved?

“I’d just hand it over,” he said.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:30 (nine years ago) link

lmao

lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:30 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/XDSslSq.jpg

Karl Malone, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:32 (nine years ago) link

are grandmas' daughters' moms

EMA Sumac (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:32 (nine years ago) link

i love how even with high production values it manages to strike such a relentlessly odd tone

lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:33 (nine years ago) link

it would probably be a wise investment for the koch brothers to just give this guy $50,000, take over for him, and never do anything with it again

Karl Malone, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:33 (nine years ago) link

'Republicans are white' is the 'I'm not a witch' of september 14.

Frederik B, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:35 (nine years ago) link

a twitter.com user points out one does not assemble ikea furniture with a hammer, republicans hit furniture with hammers for no reason

lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 02:39 (nine years ago) link

Did You Know Moby Puts Together IKEA Furniture?

schlump, Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:11 (nine years ago) link

voted 'are black' as the one most easily proved to be irrelevant to any known reality

Aimless, Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:28 (nine years ago) link

have feelings bc cmon guy

busted (art), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:31 (nine years ago) link

thinking maybe we shouldnt take the vid maker at face value and should consider thaat maybe republicans are not ppl

owe me the shmoney (m bison), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:34 (nine years ago) link

i mean how much more evidence do you need they are white and black

busted (art), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:34 (nine years ago) link

i know but what kind of person has to announce that sorta shit? i'll tell you who: nonpersons like robots and algorithms.

owe me the shmoney (m bison), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:37 (nine years ago) link

some republicans arent people theyre corporations

or liches like david koch

≖_≖ (Lamp), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:39 (nine years ago) link

thinking maybe we shouldnt take the vid maker at face value and should consider thaat maybe republicans are not ppl

― owe me the shmoney (m bison), Wednesday, September 24, 2014 11:34 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah like anyone was accusing republicans of being not people kinda a weird thing to get defensive about

lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:42 (nine years ago) link

i know i think im the only one with a "republicans are literally not people" bumper sticker, it is not a popular notion

owe me the shmoney (m bison), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:48 (nine years ago) link

Criminals are people, too.

Aimless, Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:49 (nine years ago) link

almost feel like that "republicans have feelings" card is like what republicans think sensitive democrats sound like

like what do they do if theyre not going to the driving range or shooting ranger or endangering life on the planet shit they probably talk about FEELINGS lets put that in

owe me the shmoney (m bison), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:50 (nine years ago) link

it's like a creepily benevolent alien race that's recently arrived on our planet and gently inserted themselves into running the planet decided to beam this vid into the homes of wary earthlings.

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:53 (nine years ago) link

that would explain why all these GOPers look like they are stifling agony in literally everything in this. like the lady at trader joe's is like FUCK THIS NATURAL DEODORANT MY MAN NEEDS MITCHUM or like the gourmet meal folks are some burned onions away from ordering papa john's

owe me the shmoney (m bison), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:56 (nine years ago) link

also there is literally no photo evidence of republicans recycling, just a picture of a blue bin and your imagination to fill in the rest

owe me the shmoney (m bison), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:57 (nine years ago) link

i mean ffs sake non-human theory supported by the fact that they think grandmas are another word for freshly baked cookies im done with these fools

owe me the shmoney (m bison), Thursday, 25 September 2014 03:58 (nine years ago) link

their plan totally backfired

lag∞n, Thursday, 25 September 2014 04:13 (nine years ago) link

Republicans are people, but they're awful people.

tokyo rosemary, Thursday, 25 September 2014 04:21 (nine years ago) link

i like some republicans

the late great, Thursday, 25 September 2014 06:19 (nine years ago) link

voted "are hispanic" in honor of hispanic americans everywhere

example (crüt), Thursday, 25 September 2014 07:10 (nine years ago) link

a twitter.com user points out one does not assemble ikea furniture with a hammer, republicans hit furniture with hammers for no reason

You need a hammer and nails to attach the backboard in several of their shelf models (including the ubiquitous CD tower).

Tuomas, Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:38 (nine years ago) link

Republicans give one percent of a shit.

benbbag, Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:43 (nine years ago) link

Was stuck in traffic behind a Prius the other day that had homemade bumperstickers along the lines of "STOP THE GOVERNMENT WAR ON RELIGION!" etc.

how's life, Thursday, 25 September 2014 08:58 (nine years ago) link

have a feeling 'are white' is going to take this

intelligent, expressive males within the greater metropolitan (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 25 September 2014 11:25 (nine years ago) link

any lottery number predictions while you're gazing into your crystal ball?

Barry Gordy (Neil S), Thursday, 25 September 2014 11:31 (nine years ago) link

if liberals stopped pissing and shitting on my constitution then maybe republicans wouldn't need to be so mean. that's my 2 cents anyhoo

i got BIG HOOS in different area codes aka the steemdriver (missingNO), Thursday, 25 September 2014 11:57 (nine years ago) link

Maybe take your copy of the Constitution out of the toilet?

💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:19 (nine years ago) link

Honestly, all the welders I meet are right wing nutjobs.

Liquid Plejades, Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:37 (nine years ago) link

it occurs to me that missingNO might be an infernal sockpuppet

pretentious over rated bloody old rubbish (imago), Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:39 (nine years ago) link

since 2010? maybe just an idiot

pretentious over rated bloody old rubbish (imago), Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:40 (nine years ago) link

Voting "and beards" in honor of the log cabin republicans left off this list.

Liquid Plejades, Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:40 (nine years ago) link

or is pushing some awful 'satirical' project atm xp to self

pretentious over rated bloody old rubbish (imago), Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:41 (nine years ago) link

actually yeah it's obv satirical

pretentious over rated bloody old rubbish (imago), Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:43 (nine years ago) link

and shit

pretentious over rated bloody old rubbish (imago), Thursday, 25 September 2014 13:45 (nine years ago) link

How do we sign an actual republican to ILX? Seems like it'd be fun.

DISMISSED AS CHANCE (NotEnough), Thursday, 25 September 2014 14:06 (nine years ago) link

There have been a number if Republicans here, usually of the moderate or libertarian variety. I don't think "Republican" is a synonym for "idiot monster to be ridiculed".

Opus Gai (I M Losted), Thursday, 25 September 2014 14:23 (nine years ago) link

Voted Ikea for the sheer randomness of it.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Thursday, 25 September 2014 18:30 (nine years ago) link

Know Nothings Are People Too.

Aimless, Thursday, 25 September 2014 18:33 (nine years ago) link

They shop at Trader Joe's....but not Whole Foods.....or that loser place down the road with the crazy hippies running it.

Do Republicans live in cities?

Opus Gai (I M Losted), Thursday, 25 September 2014 22:50 (nine years ago) link

this is a perfect accompaniment to the RIP david brooks thread

Dokken played here for a Ribfest and people were total assholes (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 25 September 2014 22:54 (nine years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Monday, 29 September 2014 00:01 (nine years ago) link

good luck usa

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 00:01 (nine years ago) link

turns out republicans are white people too after all

lag∞n, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 00:31 (nine years ago) link

so the ultimate ilx non-republican is a tattooed Asian kindergarten teacher who separates her Sunday Styles sections and cat food cans into separate containers, helps donate to her daughter's fun runs, and welds on the weekends

the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 05:08 (nine years ago) link

oh wait, it's not that she's a mother it's that she's a daughter
so i guess she's raised by two dads in this scenario and she did the ALS ice bucket challenge

the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 05:09 (nine years ago) link

Are white was always going to take it, but a surprisingly low plurality at just under 30%

intelligent, expressive males within the greater metropolitan (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 08:41 (nine years ago) link

Which suggests if there had been another outstanding candidate to rally around, things could have been different. "Republicans are greedy", or "Republicans are cruel", for instance.

intelligent, expressive males within the greater metropolitan (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 08:43 (nine years ago) link

That's not really a joke is it? Just me saying I hate republicans. Ah well.

intelligent, expressive males within the greater metropolitan (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 08:43 (nine years ago) link

Republicans are white, have feelings and beards

💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:11 (nine years ago) link

i dont think i have ever met a republican

nakhchivan, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:14 (nine years ago) link

certainly not a self-annoucing one

nakhchivan, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:15 (nine years ago) link

wait is that literally true nakh? and you live in the us? it's hard for me to conceive how this happens.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:17 (nine years ago) link

i have lived in brookline ma my entire life

nakhchivan, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:19 (nine years ago) link

Republicans put together Ikea furniture... in public.

jmm, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:28 (nine years ago) link

You've met some secret Republicans, nakh

💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:30 (nine years ago) link

Almost as bad as a Republican is a self-described 'centrist' who believes there's too much hysteria over sea level rise and thinks 'both sides are bad.'

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:32 (nine years ago) link

i.e. a guy I met two weekends ago

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:32 (nine years ago) link

moms
recycle

daughters
have tattoos

teachers
and cats
like dogs

welders
read the new york times
donate to charity
are asian

Frederik B, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:37 (nine years ago) link

don't know why but i always assumed nakhchivan was a britishes

A college wearing a sweater that says “John Belushi” (stevie), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 13:39 (nine years ago) link

at least secret republicans know there's some shame they should feel about it

Nhex, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 14:51 (nine years ago) link

Well also half of the Republicans in MA would be Democrats in 40 of the other 49 states

💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 14:53 (nine years ago) link

true

Nhex, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 14:55 (nine years ago) link

my sister at vassar confused some people in her first semester by referring to herself as a republican without the prefix 'irish' (she is super into reclaiming the feminist dimension of the irish independence movement right now)

Contrappunto dialettico alla mente (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 14:55 (nine years ago) link

moms
recycle

daughters
have tattoos

teachers
and cats
like dogs

welders
read the new york times
donate to charity
are asian

- Bob Marley

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 15:25 (nine years ago) link

i always assumed nakhchivan was a britishes

nakh has breadth as well as depth

Aimless, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 17:04 (nine years ago) link

republicans include people too

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 17:32 (nine years ago) link

at least 27% and as many as 35% of republicans are people

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 17:33 (nine years ago) link

frederik poem so beautiful

schlump, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 18:18 (nine years ago) link

oh positive womanpaws

the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 14:35 (nine years ago) link

i wonder if the original photographer is making more than like $0.25 per use of that photo

Nhex, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 14:36 (nine years ago) link

very obvs the whole thing was assembled from stock photos

lag∞n, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 15:50 (nine years ago) link

The Republican Party might as well be assembled by stock photos.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 16:05 (nine years ago) link

They should have used those animated "caught dancing in the office" GIFs from that one series of refinance banner ads.

💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 16:54 (nine years ago) link

shdve used backpack girl "republicans wear backpacks"

lag∞n, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 17:21 (nine years ago) link

Republicans are white, have feelings and beards

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oMeRApXNV58/URxOnmMH9AI/AAAAAAAAD1o/DHcSwunJTPc/s1600/Abraham-Lincoln.jpg

cichleee suite (Leee), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 17:30 (nine years ago) link

Oops, that's "feelings," not "hats," nm.

cichleee suite (Leee), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 17:30 (nine years ago) link

close enough

lag∞n, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 17:30 (nine years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Byd4AvjIcAAi51g.jpg

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 2 October 2014 02:16 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/3yWlZeg.jpg

lag∞n, Thursday, 2 October 2014 02:46 (nine years ago) link

:D

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 2 October 2014 02:48 (nine years ago) link

they wear both straps tho, fucking posers

owe me the shmoney (m bison), Thursday, 2 October 2014 02:55 (nine years ago) link

im kind of a
person too

lag∞n, Thursday, 2 October 2014 13:36 (nine years ago) link

Replicants have feelings.

http://www.esquire.com/cm/esquire/images/Zk/no3_bladerunner_gif.gif

jmm, Thursday, 2 October 2014 14:01 (nine years ago) link


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