1000 Movies/TV Shows that need completely unnecessary "dark and gritty" remakes

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972. Family Feud

I HEART CREEPY MENS (Deric W. Haircare), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:06 (fifteen years ago) link

971. Reading Rainbow

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:09 (fifteen years ago) link

970. High School Musical 5: No Child Left Behind

there's a better way to browse (Dr. Superman), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:13 (fifteen years ago) link

969. The Bad Lieutenant

there's a better way to browse (Dr. Superman), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:14 (fifteen years ago) link

968. Teletubbies meet Videodrome

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:16 (fifteen years ago) link

"...AGAIN!"

*grunt*

Ned Raggett, Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:16 (fifteen years ago) link

967. Honey, I Shrunk The Kids' School Funding

there's a better way to browse (Dr. Superman), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:24 (fifteen years ago) link

966. The Bad News Bears - in which every time the plucky kids' baseball team scores a hit, a stranger dies a gruesome death

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:28 (fifteen years ago) link

965 Meego

Henry Frog (Frogman Henry), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:45 (fifteen years ago) link

966 Dr Snuggles

DavidM, Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:48 (fifteen years ago) link

962. Rainbow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSUIPp45DpI&feature=related

the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:50 (fifteen years ago) link

961. Countdown
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gBXPUSXGWs&feature=related

the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:52 (fifteen years ago) link

960. Barbara Woodhouse: She-Wolf of the SS

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Sunday, 13 September 2009 17:56 (fifteen years ago) link

959. Magic Roundabout - like the original, except that they're all out of their heads on drugs

the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Sunday, 13 September 2009 18:07 (fifteen years ago) link

958. Kick Start - except that the contestants have to ride their motorcycles on planks of wood suspended over pits of alligators and molten lava

the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Sunday, 13 September 2009 18:16 (fifteen years ago) link

957. A bunch of the offspring/proteges of celebrities, once media darlings in their childhood, are now in their 20s, dealing with drugs/sex/existential despair. Maximum pathos from sense of generational futility - the major characters cannot escape the shadows of their more famous precedents/parental figures. Tiny Toon Adventures: The College Years

956. This would be like CSI or something like that, but with an ongoing plot as a crack team of media experts gradually track down a mysterious and twisted serial killer, who (in a postmodern, Tarantino-esque move) composes his crimes only as pastiches of other, previously existing crimes. The team (a hacker, a journalist, a rapper etc) is assembled because the killer leaves his semi-legible clues of himself only on internet message boards, microfilm, newspapers, etc. His alias: Ghostwriter.

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 13 September 2009 19:07 (fifteen years ago) link

955. Family Matters
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5mjdjTYyN8

abanana, Sunday, 13 September 2009 19:34 (fifteen years ago) link

954. What's Happening!!: The Movie (2010) - An example is made of Rerun by the court system when the RIAA cites him for hosting files of bootlegged Doobie Brothers concerts on a popular peer-to-peer file-sharing network. He is assigned a prison sentence, where he joins old friends Rog & Dwayne, who are serving time for their involvement in a crackpot embezzlement scheme involving the popular neighborhood eatery, Rob's Place. Much of the film's action and dialog is centered in the prison cafeteria where, ironically, former Rob's Place proprietor Shirley is now employed as a cook. Wacky hijinks ensue as Shirley attempts to exact revenge on the boys by poisoning them or injuring them with foreign objects placed in their food. Though the rest of the prisoners are relegated to cafeteria benches, Dwayne is furnished with his own chair, seemingly just so that he can perform his trademark routine of flipping the chair & sitting on it in its backward position & greeting his friends with the phrase "Hey, Hey, Hey" (which is not to be confused with Bill Cosby's "Hey, Hey, Hey" from Fat Albert.

Pullman/Paxton Revolving Bills (Pillbox), Sunday, 13 September 2009 20:12 (fifteen years ago) link

lol @ family matters as cop movie

latebloomer, Sunday, 13 September 2009 23:53 (fifteen years ago) link

953. 7th Heaven

Hugh Manatee (WmC), Sunday, 13 September 2009 23:54 (fifteen years ago) link

952. Porkies by Quentin Tarantino & Robert Rodriguez

earlnash, Monday, 14 September 2009 01:49 (fifteen years ago) link

951. Six Million Dollar Man: A Fist Full of Six Million Dollars

there's a better way to browse (Dr. Superman), Monday, 14 September 2009 01:55 (fifteen years ago) link

974. ALF

― I HEART CREEPY MENS (Deric W. Haircare), Sunday, September 13, 2009 5:02 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Dr. Gordon Shumway, a brilliant but troubled scientist for the planet Melmac's nuclear weapons program, sells a holocube of what he erroneously believes to be minor info to agents from a rival planet's military. The only reason Gordon engaged in this treason is that he needed money to support his growing addiction an exotic drug known as Felinide.

Of course, Melmac's enemies use the info Gordon sold them to hijack the planet's defenses and turn its own nuclear arsenal against itself, culminating in a devastating attack that leaves the planet destroyed and a pitifully small amount of Melmacian survivors without a home.

As it happens, Gordon was not on Melmac at the time of the attack but visiting his Felinide dealer on a nearby planet in the seedier part of solar system. After learning of the attacks from the Intergalactic News Holofeed, he puts two and two together and realizes that he is responsible for the genocide of over 99% of his own species. Now homeless, he checks into in a run-down motel for a while under an assumed name and holes himself up with a month's supply of Felinide
until he can figure out what to do.

In the aftermath of the attacks, the rest of the survivors demand justice and an investigation is convened by the Intergalactic High Court. The results of the investigation reveal that Gordon Shumway is the man responsible for selling out his planet. Though it isn't yet known whether or not he survived, Gordon nevertheless charged by the High Court with genocide and declared a fugitive. Bounty hunters from Alpha Centauri to Timbuq II are dispatched in their cruisers to pursue him and bring him back dead or alive.

Soon afterward Gordon's location is leaked to the High Court and he just narrowly escapes capture from a bounty hunter by leaving the solar system in his run-down star cruiser. On the run and suffering from Felinide withdrawal, he journeys to a backwater planet where the chemical necessary for synthesizing the drug is said to be in abundant supply. The chemical is found exclusively in the brains of a domesticated quarupedal mammal species, known to the planet's technologically primitive natives as "housecats".

As he enters the planet's atmosphere his cruiser malfunctions, causing him to crash land into the dwelling of a family of said natives...

Welcome to Earth, ALF.

latebloomer, Monday, 14 September 2009 02:55 (fifteen years ago) link

950. Barney Miller. Everyone assumes the others are on the take, things are disappearing from the evidence room, and at least once an episode there's a Mexican standoff.

949. Diff'rent Strokes. Mr. Drummond has...certain particular reasons for taking in these young boys.

948. Hogan's Heroes. Brought to you by executive producer Eli Roth.

phlegm brûlée (j.lu), Monday, 14 September 2009 03:37 (fifteen years ago) link

947. Night Court

amateurist, Monday, 14 September 2009 03:38 (fifteen years ago) link

946. Car 54, Where Are You?

amateurist, Monday, 14 September 2009 03:39 (fifteen years ago) link

945. The Apple Dumpling Gang.

phlegm brûlée (j.lu), Monday, 14 September 2009 04:04 (fifteen years ago) link

949. Diff'rent Strokes. Mr. Drummond has...certain particular reasons for taking in these young boys.

Please see number 975.

Also: I had forgotten that they already did Project ALF, which was at least a little darker than the series proper.

I HEART CREEPY MENS (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 14 September 2009 04:08 (fifteen years ago) link

yeah the scene where alf got raped was something else

latebloomer, Monday, 14 September 2009 06:07 (fifteen years ago) link

that would probably figure in my alf reboot somehow anyway

latebloomer, Monday, 14 September 2009 06:09 (fifteen years ago) link

On nu-ALF, every episode is a "very special episode"

latebloomer, Monday, 14 September 2009 06:10 (fifteen years ago) link

four months pass...

That Family Matters vid is actually pretty cool - I mean total homemade feel but there are some fuckin BRILLIANT ways they make stuff from the show work in the cop movie setting, especially the "Go home, go home, go home!" bit. Thing made me smile anyway.

Doctor Casino, Friday, 15 January 2010 05:07 (fourteen years ago) link

"No sweat, my pet"

la última intimidad (latebloomer), Friday, 15 January 2010 05:13 (fourteen years ago) link

"Dad got shot, my mom's dead, Laura got kidnapped, I don't even know where Stephanie's at.."

la última intimidad (latebloomer), Friday, 15 January 2010 05:18 (fourteen years ago) link

four months pass...

944. Home Improvement

litel, Sunday, 13 June 2010 20:14 (fourteen years ago) link

I mean total homemade feel but there are some fuckin BRILLIANT ways they make stuff from the show work in the cop movie setting, especially the "Go home, go home, go home!" bit. Thing made me smile anyway.

otm

Krystal Chic (crüt), Sunday, 13 June 2010 21:45 (fourteen years ago) link

943. Pretty in Pink

Well, because whatever happened changed him. (Dr. Superman), Sunday, 13 June 2010 22:43 (fourteen years ago) link

942. Incredible Mr. Limpet (retooled as Hellboy spin-off)

there are 6 different girls who are all 1 Megan Fox in this movie (Jon Lewis), Monday, 14 June 2010 18:06 (fourteen years ago) link

941. Red Dwarf

940. Hey Arnold

939. The Queen's Nose

938. The A-Team - Murdoch is having visions of being part of a wacky team that helps the helpless while in a mental hospital.

i once saw chippy vela has a good game, honest... (a hoy hoy), Monday, 14 June 2010 18:17 (fourteen years ago) link


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