But no one's feeling of responsibility to make someone happier can outweigh the person's own desire to be happier, or not happier. It's the truest cliche ever. The lightbulb has to WANT to change. And if not that, it at least has to want to light you up as well.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Monday, 10 August 2009 19:24 (fourteen years ago) link
it's true, i just mean. i always want to be the person making the people in my life happy, instead of being the person who needs needs needs. that's just my personal thing.
― I love rainbow cookies (surm), Monday, 10 August 2009 19:34 (fourteen years ago) link
You are officially DATE-ABLE!
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Monday, 10 August 2009 19:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Hi guys, I went away from ILX for a year and a half or so b/c my job got too busy to post anymore, but about 6 months ago started lurking a lot again. Bimble's suicide has really shaken me. Thinking about it so many times since Thursday morning. He was my age, and his relationship to music so similar to mine. He's basically a peer. And god help me, I did tease him after Tony Wilson died and he was flipping out.
When someone takes their life, for me it creates this terrifying black hole, it tears a big rent in reality and rationality. Just once I got horribly close to that precipice, 19 years ago. Straight-up garden-variety depression with an OCD/anxiety component has always been my deal, and that shit has been managed quite well with SSRI's for like 15 years now, but the fear that my mind could simply destroy me like it tried to in 1990, that my mind is DANGEROUS, is apparently going to ride with me daily for the rest of my life. Only my evergreen Reagan-child terror of nuclear holocaust is as perennial a companion.
Abbott, there's nothing wrong with falling back on yr klonopin at a time like this, I've done exactly the same. Pretty soon, just knowing I have it on hand to fall back on denecessitates me actually taking any.
I am so hungry to know more things about Bimble's demise, so I can fit the event back into the causal universe, but I know that's not really healthy. RIP Bimble-- I hope your soul has become sound.
― Friend Folio (Jon Lewis), Monday, 10 August 2009 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link
Ha, klonopin wasn't even my idea! The husband has an rx for it & was basically like "god, for fuck's sake, take one of these."
― chillbigail ate a chill banana (Abbott), Monday, 10 August 2009 19:44 (fourteen years ago) link
xp
I can't possibly say more than that, or better.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Monday, 10 August 2009 19:44 (fourteen years ago) link
If anyone wants to talk/vent/cry over the online btw you can email me at igotabeefpastry @ gmail . com
RIP Bimble-- I hope your soul has become sound.
Lovely words. He seems to reverberate all through ILX now.
― new balls please (whatever), Monday, 10 August 2009 19:46 (fourteen years ago) link
xpost Klonopin is v v handy at crisis times. Although there's a Stevie Nicks connection which is a little disturbing at the moment. And you really truly can't drink on it.
― Friend Folio (Jon Lewis), Monday, 10 August 2009 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link
(mh, i really hope your girlfriend can find help/a way out of the darkness.)
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Monday, 10 August 2009 20:18 (fourteen years ago) link
Fuck. Just seen this. Very sad.
― Teh Movable Object (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 10 August 2009 20:40 (fourteen years ago) link
Goddamnit I still have the acrid feeling in my stomach... I'm still expecting the chat bubble to pop up at an inopportune time telling me to go listen to a Wake 12" or twenty-five year old Simple Minds outtakes.
― Elvis Telecom, Monday, 10 August 2009 23:33 (fourteen years ago) link
This is so, so sad. What a great loss. I am praying for Bimble and all who love him, and everybody's words on this thread are astonishingly lovely.
― Dr. Joseph A. Ofalt, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 01:43 (fourteen years ago) link
Bimble, for a while, you were great fun to obsess about music with.
― Gerald McBoing-Boing, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 21:12 (fourteen years ago) link
I feel really weird about his last.fm. The last few things he heard, I had just recently sent him --- and the fact that the last one he ever played was Penderecki's Threnody is creeping me the fuck out. He immediately sent me an e-mail telling me how scary and goth he found it.
― Turangalila, Monday, August 10, 2009 12:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
thank god he sent you that email Turangalila - one of my biggest anxieties induced by this whole thing was the possibility that he blew his brains out to Penderecki (sorry for bluntness but that's how my brain kept wording it.)
― watch me superban dat ho (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 00:56 (fourteen years ago) link
also Abbott don't rely too much on klonopin or before you know it your anxieties will be 10x greater from withdrawals. just based on personal encounters w/rx drug abuse + depression
― watch me superban dat ho (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 01:01 (fourteen years ago) link
looks like curtis thought the same about that track as i did then.
― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 01:18 (fourteen years ago) link
But it was 2 days before the police said he'd died... unless.. oh anyway, I dont want to dwell :(
― Spy in the Cab Sav (Trayce), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 01:20 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah but he died on sat night
― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 01:37 (fourteen years ago) link
xpost yeah, that's why I felt the need to point it out.
― Turangalila, Wednesday, 12 August 2009 01:38 (fourteen years ago) link
@Turangalila, thanks for telling that. I've had the same thing, image, on my mind as Curtis and Pfunkboy..
― young depardieu looming out of void in hour of profound triumph (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 08:49 (fourteen years ago) link
the fuck is klonopin. is that like valium or something?
― I love rainbow cookies (surm), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 10:47 (fourteen years ago) link
yes
― max, Wednesday, 12 August 2009 11:37 (fourteen years ago) link
once i took valium, and i shouldn't have. felt good though!
― I love rainbow cookies (surm), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 12:10 (fourteen years ago) link
Katy Perry in 10 yrs.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 12 August 2009 13:15 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm really sad he missed getting hyped about the Stone Roses rerelease.
― Sickamous (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 18:49 (fourteen years ago) link
Ah no worries, I haven't done it since that day & before that not since March. It's like a for-emergencies-only thing. thx for the kind advice tho (not sarcasm).
― cosmic abbigong (Abbott), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 19:00 (fourteen years ago) link
anyway, yeah, I am very sorry, if nothing else
― Flea Kuti (PappaWheelie V), Sunday, 16 August 2009 04:42 (fourteen years ago) link
Just read Drew's tribute on Pfork this morning -- I spend most of my time on ILM so hadn't come across this thread/news. Just shocked and saddened... We emailed from time to time and Mark always seemed full of life, granted he was talking about the Bunnymen shoe with the full orchestra that he had recently seen, or some other passion of his at the moment. I knew he was troubled but never knew the extent of it, or that it may have come to such an end. RIP, Mark -- we'll see you on the other side, someday.
― I just wish he hadn't adopted the "ilxor" moniker (ilxor), Tuesday, 8 September 2009 17:01 (fourteen years ago) link
link?
― steener HOOStinov (s1ocki), Tuesday, 8 September 2009 17:05 (fourteen years ago) link
Its on Pitchfork ffs, Google broken?
― 3 mods 1 banhammer (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 8 September 2009 17:06 (fourteen years ago) link
i looked on pitchfork - it wasn't on the front page and the search didn't turn up anything.
― steener HOOStinov (s1ocki), Tuesday, 8 September 2009 17:07 (fourteen years ago) link
Scroll down the page:
http://pitchfork.com/features/guest-lists/7698-guest-list-2000s-edition/3
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 8 September 2009 17:07 (fourteen years ago) link
Sorry that was a snotty response and certainly not in the spirit of this thread.
― 3 mods 1 banhammer (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 8 September 2009 17:16 (fourteen years ago) link
wow <3 drew for that entire article :)
― anatol_merklich, Tuesday, 8 September 2009 22:54 (fourteen years ago) link
Bimble's suicide still gets to me a few times a day, every day.
― god bless this -ation (Abbott), Wednesday, 9 September 2009 00:36 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah I often think of certain bands or songs he loved and get sad.
― Dearth Disco (Trayce), Wednesday, 9 September 2009 00:57 (fourteen years ago) link
I think of him every time I play The Velvets.
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 9 September 2009 01:00 (fourteen years ago) link
I've been listening to Bruce Hornsby for the first time since I was a kid (parents were big fans) due to Bimble, and think of him when I listen. The music's obvs dated, but it sounds fantastic! so catchy.
also, agreed Drew's article is terrific.
― wilter, Wednesday, 9 September 2009 01:28 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah it is, <3 Drew for what you wrote. Unlike Momus and his unpleasant aggrandising lies.
― Dearth Disco (Trayce), Wednesday, 9 September 2009 01:31 (fourteen years ago) link
thats a really nice tribute.
― Angus Young (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 9 September 2009 02:24 (fourteen years ago) link
me too. I still come across albums that I want to make his fuckin day with.
― Lord Crutsos Omicron (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 9 September 2009 02:36 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm glad you guys are cool with it, I wasn't really sure about talking about Bimble in public and on another site as if I had some particular expertise or right to do so, but the more I thought about it, I finally just decided that it felt appropriate in the context of remembering things that gave us pleasure and meant something. Mostly I wish Bimble was alive to talk shit online with; just yesterday I was listening to Felt and thought "I wonder if Bimble thinks . . ." and then went, oh, right.
― Neotropical pygmy squirrel, Wednesday, 9 September 2009 02:41 (fourteen years ago) link
It was very appropriate and very well done.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 September 2009 02:54 (fourteen years ago) link
Seconded. I'm glad you wrote it.
― Daniel, Esq., Wednesday, 9 September 2009 02:58 (fourteen years ago) link
Me too, and Curtis otm with what he said. Everytime i hear something or read about something i still feel the urge to pass on the links to Bimble knowing he would love it.
― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 9 September 2009 02:59 (fourteen years ago) link
great piece, yeah, and v cool of p4k to allow it!
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 9 September 2009 03:17 (fourteen years ago) link
thoughtful and thought-provoking. thanks NPS.
(glad I missed that momus stuff/what a prick)
― chief rocker frankie crocker (m coleman), Wednesday, 9 September 2009 11:56 (fourteen years ago) link
was reading through the whole Guest List thingy on the bus tonight, without seeing this revive - Drew's was so wonderful, and so out of place, that I wish they'd given it at least its own page of the section.
― Young Scott Young (sic), Wednesday, 9 September 2009 13:40 (fourteen years ago) link
I want to link Bimble to this so bad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxZX8LpFOKo
― heave haw (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 23 September 2009 22:42 (fourteen years ago) link