The Christina Ricci appreciation thread

Man, I may as well tell the rest of the j3r3my p1v3n story, fuck it.

Here's the beginning from the "half of your best anecdote" thread:

A friend of mine was holidaying in Miami and she met the actor J***y P***n at a club. He asked her over to his hotel for breakfast the next morning, and strolled out to meet her on the restaurant deck wearing these kind of silky swim shorts. So anyway, they sit down to eat, and he starts saying to her, "Everything I do, I do HARDCORE-drugs, sex, HARDCORE", and he's shifting nevrously under the table. So the he keeps asking her to feel his shorts, ranting on and on about the fabric and

and after breakfast, he asked if she wanted to come up and see his hotel room. Now, she was kind of hesitant because he was kind of creepy, but he WAS j3r3my p1v3n, so what, really, could happen? So they go upstairs and he has a nice suite looking out onto the beach and she's looking around the room. She stops to look into a mirror and something catches her attention in it - p1v3n's reflection, as he is splayed out on the bed behind her and he has his shorts around his ankles and his cock in his hand. And he is apparently HUGE, on some uber-John Holmes type tip, just ridiculously well-endowed. As soon as he realizes that he has her attention, he smiles and blurts "I know! Isn't it SCARY?" (his exact words).

After that, it gets fuzzy, but she pretty much made her excuses and left.

The words "I know! Isn't it SCARY?" became something a catchphrase among my friends for a while after that.

The CR story I heard: Friends of mine discovered that one of their coworkers went out with Christina when they were 13 or so. But he broke up with her because "she blew all my friends."

She had bills to bay!

er - pay.

Rosemary - are you in Jersey and is CR from Jersey? It was a Jersey Girl that told me this story.

"Born in California but raised in Montclair, New Jersey"

Montclair - yes, that is where the girl who told me this story is from.

She is a friend of Chuck Tatum's.

ilx's weird and totally random ties to j3r3my p1v3n continue to amuse me to no end

I have a G*br**l Byrn* story I can tell at some point that is not altogether too different than the p1v3n one

that story's time is now

If you could work R1cc1 into it, even better.

Okay, I have a friend, let's pretend she was R1cc1. She kind of looked like her anyway so that works. This friend was very into being Irish despite being of dubious Irish descent (what with a name like R1cc1 after all). So for some reason I now can't remember, we went to some Irish books conference in San Francisco. This was about seven years ago, which would make my friend R1cc1 very young, around 19 or 20. Reading at this conference was G*br131 B*rn3 who had just published some book on being Irish and how special that was or something. Maybe it involved poetry. I don't know. At any rate for some reason we were invited to an after party somewhere, I don't even know where, but I do remember that there was a shrine to Pedro Zamora there. I was getting drunk by this point so things began to get slightly weird for me. Mr. B*rn3 showed up at this party and R1cc1, who was obsessed with the film M1113r'5 Cr0551ng, and counted Mr. B*rn3 among her top ten people to want to screw, glommed onto him. At this point in her life she was not an undesireable person, certainly not if you were in your late 40s and kind of washed up and smelled like cigarettes and had bad breath and would easily be mistaken for a bus driver if you weren't in a bunch of movies. The party then moved to O'Reilly's pub in North Beach which had just recently opened and was oh so very Irish. She continued to hang on him. I continued to drink. AT some point I left and wandered home to the east bay, I'm not even sure how I got there but it might have involved a cab ride and a lot of money. I was awoken by a phone call from her crying from a hotel back in SF. She had spent the night with B*rn3, a night which had hardly been very romantic, but had involved his apparent request to "lick her asshole"; apparently, also, Mr. B*rn3 was not very P1v3n-esque in the endowment department. She was fine with all of this, but then he had offered her a wad of money an asked her to leave when the morning came around. She asked me what to do. I said "take the money and go home," which she did. She tried to contact him several times after that to no avail.
Okay, that wasn't as exciting as the P1v3n story but what can you do? The only other gossip that came out of it was that he still considered his actress ex-wife a "good friend." I don't know if he licked her asshole though.

I also know for a FACT that d*n 4ckr0yd used to shimmy up drainpipes and sneak into dorm-rooms to bang sorority girls. This was not too long ago.

Also- St3v3 M4rt1n once curb-crawled a girl that I used to..."know".

The end.

haha, yes my story comes from NJ sources

And the kids in question were about 13 when it happened.

oops. I said that upthread.

@d@m, thanks for reminding me about the C$$$$ina R$$$i story!

The only gossip story I have is an incredibly bitchy comment made by the editor of the UK's leading left-wing newspaper.

Although I was once two doors away from a post office shooting in Montclair in 1995.

Two of the paper's star columnists got into a slagging match over a protracted period of months, which ended with one of them, J***ie A****y, writing the other one (Cr***ina **one) an e-mail saying, "I hope you get stomach cancer."

The editor, A**n R***risg** having heard about the ruckus, then said something to the effect of, "That's terrible, what did stomach cancer ever do to deserve Cr***ina **one?"

B-boom.

Okay, I'll try and remember one with someone more famous next time.

er, can I just say that we should have a naomi watts appreciation thread someday.

carry on.