the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

they already have the heads near the beginning of the song, just take that next step and have the human allies kind of afraid of them

http://hawtaction.com/2008/08/20/GeorgeLucas.jpg

http://blog.gamer20.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/george_lucas.jpg

La-de-da-de-dah
KILL THEM
La-de-da-de-dah
EAT NOW
EAT THE HUMAN SCUM
EAT THE HUMAN SCUMMMMMMM!

"Directed by DAVID LYNCH"

i love those fuzzy bastards

btw listening to this over and over will make you slightly crazy

Episode VII
Threat of the Ewoks

It is a period of fuzzy bastards...

It's striking how these movies have bad-ass themes like the main theme and the Imperial theme... and they also have "Yub Nub".

CANNIBALS

At three a.m. he can’t take it anymore.

"Jedi?" he says loudly into the darkness.

"Hnnnh...wha?" says the archaeologist next to him, jerking alert from a deep sleep.

"I can't believe Jedi was your favorite," Jack says, feeling his balled-up jacket under his cheek as he turns his head to look at Daniel.

Daniel groans and rolls over, pressing his face against Sam's shoulder and pulling his own jacket over his head. "Make him stop, Sam."

"Even Teal'c thinks it's lame," Jack says.

"Indeed," Teal'c's voice echoes from the corner of their cell, where he sits attempting kel'no'reem. "The use of a second Death Star was derivative at best, although a number of the action sequences were quite entertaining."

"Oh, come on," Sam says, sounding a little muzzy. "The Ewoks were adorable."

Daniel mumbles something Jack can't hear, between the sound-absorbing quality of Sam's shoulder and the balled-up jacket Daniel still holds over one ear. "What was that, o tasteless one?"

"The Ewoks were cannibals!" Daniel says, sitting up suddenly and throwing his jacket at Jack. "When Luke, Han, and Chewbacca are taken prisoner by the Ewoks, you can see a skinned Ewok being roasted on a spit over a fire in the background. The Ewoks are the perfect example of a race that is underestimated and assumed to be ethical merely because they're cute, when all evidence shown suggests they engage in tribal warfare and devour their enemies."

"Cannibals? Daniel, they're like little teddy bears!" Carter says, aghast.

"Daniel Jackson, I believe you may be right." Teal'c sounds surprised. "I will view that film with a new perspective."

"Yeah, if the Pygmies of Planet Propaganda ever let us out. I think Daniel was making a little reference to our situation here."

"I said there was something fishy. You thought they were cute," Daniel scowls, flopping back onto the floor.

There's a moment of silence in the cell. Just when Daniel thinks he might get some sleep, Jack says, "So, if this is Jedi, do I get to be Han?"

"I am not Princess Leia!" Sam says, seeing immediately where this is going.

"You know, Teal'c, you'd make a great Lando."

Daniel swears he can hear Teal'c's eyebrow raise. He lets out a little sob, rolls onto his side, and prays for unconsciousness.

that's true, they're not entirely dissimilar, but I do think there are some small formal differences between making a "fun" sci-fi/action movie and a fantasy thing that's aimed at kids -- or at least at this point I think those tend to be two strains that have to be balanced out in movies that do both (like, say, Spiderman movies, or the way the Harry Potter movies have hoped to move from one toward the other) ... I guess you could also put it in terms of demographics, like whether you're skewing toward 15-year-olds or 10-year-olds, or questions like that.

certainly there was stuff at the time that was totally both (Superman movies, for instance), but part of what I mean, really, is that ... wasn't it sort of during the course of the original trilogy that the idea of "high-budget, non-animated, fantastical movie aimed at kids" kinda firmed up and became more of a thing? like kind of a boom around, say, E.T. or The Dark Crystal or whatever? which somehow accounts in my head for the tone of Return of the Jedi versus the two before it.

wasn't it sort of during the course of the original trilogy that the idea of "high-budget, non-animated, fantastical movie aimed at kids" kinda firmed up and became more of a thing? like kind of a boom around, say, E.T. or The Dark Crystal or whatever?

Definitely a demi-trend. The Neverending Story would count too.

like even in terms of money and popularity, surely it seemed more like you could sell a shitload of Ewok merchandise in 1984 than it would have in 1977

Didn't this whole merchandising boom happen BECAUSE of the original trilogy?

I mean, think about how many Star Wars toys were put out there before the Ewoks even showed up.

probably in large part, yes! but that's what I mean about the guy possibly following his own success out in that direction and being like "hell yeah, if that's working, let's put teddy bears in the last one"

(note: I like Ewoks fine, I'm just saying)

i think that has to do with the ewoks being cute and cuddly and more appealing to the masses--i knew someone who claimed that the ewoks were invented just so lucas could make $$$ selling teddy bears. star wars toys were insanely popular straight out of the gate.

What the hell:

Ewok Festival of Love is an event. Ewoks are small creatures that are native to the forest moon of Endor. The trees of the forest provide not only physical shelter to the Ewoks, but also give the tribe a sense of protection as the trees watch over them.

The Ewoks live in harmony with nature and forage for food in the lush vegetation. Camby berries are given freely during the Festival of Love, celebrated once a year to honor the kinship and love between tribe members. During the festival, the Ewoks present this gift of their hard-earned food to other members of the tribe to demonstrate trust and acceptance.

As the Ewoks celebrate the Festival of Love, tribe members prepare meals, dance, and sing traditional songs, such as this ancestral chant often heard drifting through the treetops of the forest moon: Dugun duca lula ludia nuna, dounga, luna nudia!

i mean INSANELY popular

goddamn you Ned.

http://www.starwarstoymuseum.com/star_wars_toys.html

luna nudia

you have ruined my entire life

Uh:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xdd0edT-BeE

Behind the scenes!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhyWRaSaPig

okay PHEW that was a Star Wars Galaxies thing and not a real life thing

nude Star Wars fans yub nubbing under the pale moonlight was going to give me night terrors

As the Ewoks celebrate the Festival of Love, tribe members prepare meals, dance, and sing traditional songs, such as this ancestral chant often heard drifting through the treetops of the forest moon: Dugun duca lula ludia nuna, dounga, luna nudia!

This is some sort of furry/Star Wars crossover, isn't it.

The 'guest star' in the video seems only appropriate.

furry/sw/ilx crossover

Title: Ewok Murder Rampage: A Hero Emerges

you know, the Ewok thing would be better if Billy Dee did the whole thing as opposed to the a capella reject

http://circusfiretragedy.com/FanArt/ewok_murder_rampage.jpg

my new favorite band

you know, the Ewok thing would be better if Billy Dee did the whole thing as opposed to the a capella reject

Yes.

Cinematic glory.

why the fuck did I read that Ewok story, there was no way it could be better than "Ewok Murder Rampage"

'Some warriors believe that eating a beast transfers it's soul into you. That would explain the contented joy one feels after consuming a fresh, well-barbecued Ewok'

1 package Boba Fett's Ass-terburner Hot Spice ™ (optional)

No.

ARGH:

http://craziestgadgets.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/ewok-soap.jpg

that soap looks... used

that soap makes you smell like an ewok

Flashing back a few months.

mmmm... chocolate-y soap

Oh good grief:

Posted by Andrew Zilch on April 30, 2009 at 7:52 pm

Having fought for the fair treatment of Ewoks with my "Ewok Gospel" video, I am deeply hurt by Mr. Colbert's recent anti-Ewok hate crime.

As a result, I just posted an open letter to Mr. Colbert on my site — andrewzilch.com. Please help me bring this monster to justice.

Yub-nub!!

mdk

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/e/e9/Dexter_Jettster_NEGTC.jpg/180px-Dexter_Jettster_NEGTC.jpg

http://blog.gamer20.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/george_lucas.jpg

not to be captain-save-a-neck, but here's a riff-in-progress on what makes 77 Star Wars so great: http://www.mstrmnd.com/log/1241

Same guy also did an excellent shot-by-shot analysis of The Shining: http://mstrmnd.com/log/802

not to be captain-save-a-neck, but here's a riff-in-progress on what makes 77 Star Wars so great: http://www.mstrmnd.com/log/1241

Good analysis, if though a bit everything-and-the-kitchen-sink. I suppose that my problem with everything after 1977 Star Wars is that Lucas saw it as a green light to load up future movies with even more half-assed remembrances of The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

I suppose it's time to link to David Brin's "Star Wars despots" article again: http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/feature/1999/06/15/brin_main/

I don't see why we must make a case for Star Wars' greatness to consider it worth watching. It's a pretty good movie, sometimes very exciting, often much worse than that, about which it's impossible for a certain generation (mine) to remain objective.

I actually own this book, in which Brin figures heavily:

http://www.sff.net/people/John-C-Wright/cover%20Star%20wars%20on%20Trial.jpg

It didn't hold up so well the last time I saw it, but I still maintain that The Last Starfighter is better than the original Star Wars. Like Quiznos is better than Subway.

I don't see why we must make a case for Star Wars' greatness to consider it worth watching. It's a pretty good movie, sometimes very exciting, often much worse than that, about which it's impossible for a certain generation (mine) to remain objective.

Yeah--it's fun, exciting, often clever, pretty charming, has an ace villain, and I (along with millions of others) watched it at just the right age.