ok the dangerous teenage hug epidemic - another important new york times trend piece

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(catching up from other thread)

Girls embracing girls, girls embracing boys, boys embracing each other — the hug has become the favorite social greeting when teenagers meet or part these days. Teachers joke about “one hour” and “six hour” hugs, saying that students hug one another all day as if they were separated for the entire summer.

A measure of how rapidly the ritual is spreading is that some students complain of peer pressure to hug to fit in. And schools from Hillsdale, N.J., to Bend, Ore., wary in a litigious era about sexual harassment or improper touching — or citing hallway clogging and late arrivals to class — have banned hugging or imposed a three-second rule.

― would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Thursday, May 28, 2009 2:06 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the concerned adults in that article all sound like hank hill to me.

― would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Thursday, May 28, 2009 2:07 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"look, i know we said 'HUGS NOT DRUGS.' but we didn't really mean HUGS. we just needed to rhyme with DRUGS."

― would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Thursday, May 28, 2009 2:07 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I seem to recall reading not too long ago about a Chicago suburban junior high that had actually banned hugs from school hallways.

― Bianca Jagger (jaymc), Thursday, May 28, 2009 3:44 PM (50 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Those fucking kids! God, how AREN'T our kids assing things up these days?

― cant go with u too many alfbrees (Abbott), Thursday, May 28, 2009 3:50 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

You can't make this up:

“And there doesn’t seem to be any other overt way in which they acknowledge knowing each other,” she continued, describing the scene at her older son’s school in Manhattan. “No hi, no smile, no wave, no high-five — just the hug. Witnessing this interaction always makes me feel like I am a tourist in a country where I do not know the customs and cannot speak the language."

― Bud Huxtable (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, May 28, 2009 3:59 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the last line is pure Scalia.

― Bud Huxtable (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, May 28, 2009 3:59 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ok this clearly needs its own thread

― ice cr?m, Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:34 PM (41 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:37 (fifteen years ago) link

I think this is only dangerous if combined with Roman Arse stabbing.

Prince of Persia (Ed), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:38 (fifteen years ago) link

what the hell

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:38 (fifteen years ago) link

i wonder why newspapers are going bankrupt

Mr. Que, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:38 (fifteen years ago) link

hug-related asphyxiation is more of a problem than you think.

would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:38 (fifteen years ago) link

“The high-five is, like, boring.”

figgy pudding (La Lechera), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:39 (fifteen years ago) link

btw, feel like hugging as standard issue teenage greeting has been the norm since i was in like 8th grade???

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:40 (fifteen years ago) link

"Hugging. How ethnic."

caek, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:40 (fifteen years ago) link

or if not the norm, then a whatever acceptable practice

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:40 (fifteen years ago) link

this is possibly one of the craziest pairs of paragrpahs ever

Parents, who grew up in a generation more likely to use the handshake, the low-five or the high-five, are often baffled by the close physical contact. “It’s a wordless custom, from what I’ve observed,” wrote Beth J. Harpaz, the mother of two boys, 11 and 16, and a parenting columnist for The Associated Press, in a new book, “13 Is the New 18.”

“And there doesn’t seem to be any other overt way in which they acknowledge knowing each other,” she continued, describing the scene at her older son’s school in Manhattan. “No hi, no smile, no wave, no high-five — just the hug. Witnessing this interaction always makes me feel like I am a tourist in a country where I do not know the customs and cannot speak the language.”

Mr. Que, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:40 (fifteen years ago) link

20 years ago in my suburban boston jr high hugs were v popular too

ice cr?m, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:40 (fifteen years ago) link

baffled by hugs

Mr. Que, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:40 (fifteen years ago) link

Washington Times reporting that the epidemic began with 50 Cent's "In Da Club" with the infamous "so come gimme a hug" line, calling for a ban on rap music

dulce est desipere in loco (Euler), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:41 (fifteen years ago) link

hugging is a nice tender thing to do - i still hug all my friends

ice cr?m, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:41 (fifteen years ago) link

you never hug me

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:41 (fifteen years ago) link

i wonder why newspapers are going bankrupt

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

Obama seems to have the views of a 21-year-old Hispanic girl (HI DERE), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:42 (fifteen years ago) link

next time i see u max i will hug u ;)

ice cr?m, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:42 (fifteen years ago) link

hug foods

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:42 (fifteen years ago) link

hug life

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:43 (fifteen years ago) link

the NY Times is quoting a parenting columnist for authority

Mr. Que, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:43 (fifteen years ago) link

smothered in hugs

i am rubber, t u.r.koglu (k3vin k.), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:44 (fifteen years ago) link

is this what new york is really like or something

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:45 (fifteen years ago) link

the nicest city on earth!

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:45 (fifteen years ago) link

*hug*

Obama seems to have the views of a 21-year-old Hispanic girl (HI DERE), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:46 (fifteen years ago) link

this has me dreaming of a world where people are just kind and sweet to each other *sniffle*

ice cr?m, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:47 (fifteen years ago) link

huggest ban

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:47 (fifteen years ago) link

hug u

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:48 (fifteen years ago) link

huggest hug

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:48 (fifteen years ago) link

hughug hug

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:48 (fifteen years ago) link

hugging is a nice tender thing to do - i still hug all my friends

You always hug the one you love/ the one you shouldn't hug at all

Dante ... Bruno . Vico .. Passantino (Tom D.), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:48 (fifteen years ago) link

what other fine articles has Sarah Kershaw brought us?

WOW PEOPLE BUY STUFF FROM SKYMALL EVEN THO THE COUNTRY IS BROKE
DADS ARE THE NEW MOMS
DRUNKOREXIA

Mr. Que, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:49 (fifteen years ago) link

now link to the respective ilx threads about the articles

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:49 (fifteen years ago) link

Drunkorexia is not an official medical term.

THANK YOUS

Mr. Que, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:50 (fifteen years ago) link

being a nyt trend writer is pretty much the best job in the world as far as i can tell

ice cr?m, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:50 (fifteen years ago) link

it's like writing for the onion

figgy pudding (La Lechera), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:51 (fifteen years ago) link

I don't drink to offset the calories in my alcohol, I refrain from eating to make myself a cheaper drunk. This is called "creative problem solving" and is rewarded in any other walk of life. Certainly at my job, where they would probably lock any given assistant in a storage closet and wall it up, if they thought it would save money and the work would still get done.

But not someone who should be dead anyway (Laurel), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:51 (fifteen years ago) link

haaa the today show is on the case http://gawker.com/5271997/today-investigates-high-school-hug-madness

ice cr?m, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:52 (fifteen years ago) link

Gah, I meant, I don't starve myself to offset the calories in my alcohol. Oh fuck it, you know what I meant.

But not someone who should be dead anyway (Laurel), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:52 (fifteen years ago) link

i'm scared of an Al Queida attack now. remember the summer before 2001, everyone was freaking out about SHARKS. maybe it's

THE SUMMER OF THE HUG.

Mr. Que, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:53 (fifteen years ago) link

DADS ARE THE NEW MOMS

plz plz plz plz confirm that this is not a childbirth article

Obama seems to have the views of a 21-year-old Hispanic girl (HI DERE), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:54 (fifteen years ago) link

you'll have to click and find out

Mr. Que, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:54 (fifteen years ago) link

fwiw, i def know a dude who is a drunkorexic---like, "no I didn't eat lunch today, but I am going to have a million beers" and is very upfront about it. it's weird?

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:55 (fifteen years ago) link

ok lol in the sidebar on the DRUNKOREXIA article:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/05/13/theater/Critics600.jpg

Find the one that's different!

Obama seems to have the views of a 21-year-old Hispanic girl (HI DERE), Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:57 (fifteen years ago) link

DRUNKOREXIA HAS MANY FORMS

Mr. Que, Thursday, 28 May 2009 16:59 (fifteen years ago) link

I am starting to think Geoffrey Rush has a "silly facial prosthetic" clause in his contract, similar to Samuel L. Jackson's "fucked-up hair" clause.

Obama seems to have the views of a 21-year-old Hispanic girl (HI DERE), Thursday, 28 May 2009 17:01 (fifteen years ago) link

dont know if its been mentioned enough that this was a front-page story for the new york times

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Thursday, 28 May 2009 17:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Va. School's No-Contact Rule Is a Touchy Subject

Fairfax County middle school student Hal Beaulieu hopped up from his lunch table one day a few months ago, sat next to his girlfriend and slipped his arm around her shoulder. That landed him a trip to the school office.

Among his crimes: hugging.

Connecticut School Bans Physical Contact

East Shore M.S. Outlaws "High-Fives," "Hugging" And Horseplay Of Any Kind; Violators May Face Expulsion
MILFORD, Conn. (CBS) ―

A Connecticut middle school principal has laid down the law: You put your hands on someone -- anyone -- in any way, you're going to pay.

G-20 Gossip: No Touching, Please

According to video of the Obamas visit to Buckingham Place today, the First Lady briefly touched Queen Elizabeth on the back during a reception there for G-20 leaders, and that is, apparently, a huge social no-no. We just turned on SkyNews, which was airing a panel on the apparent faux pas. “You don’t touch the queen!” one red-face analyst insisted. “You don’t touch her!”

Derelict, Thursday, 28 May 2009 17:10 (fifteen years ago) link

"Hugging. How ethnic."

― caek, Thursday, May 28, 2009 6:40 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"what is this, the italian parliament?"

FREE DOM AND ETHAN (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, 28 May 2009 17:13 (fifteen years ago) link

god help us all that this merits trend pieces

Beatrix Kiddo, Thursday, 28 May 2009 17:15 (fifteen years ago) link

and i thought UK newspapers had the market cornered on dumbass moral panics

Vokuhila (latebloomer), Thursday, 28 May 2009 17:16 (fifteen years ago) link

I like the paragraph that begins by describing the person as an eloquent writer, and then the quote isn't particularly eloquent.

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:36 (fourteen years ago) link

can i be really really bitchy for a second and say that the thing i dislike the most about this column is that it begins with yet one more goddamn use of that Yeats quote?

Mr. Que, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:38 (fourteen years ago) link

xp nabisco: if that person were actually a friend, I wouldn't pass on the tale because it makes them look annoying.

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:39 (fourteen years ago) link

can i get a cool planet invite?

velko, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:40 (fourteen years ago) link

heffernan's friend is dumb and heffernan seems to passively accept what she says as fact.

call all destroyer, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:40 (fourteen years ago) link

xp no dude cool planet disbanded iirc

call all destroyer, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:40 (fourteen years ago) link

does she even say how old these people are though?

No, but I'm guessing that a random sampling of her friends is mostly going to include people in her age group (she just turned 40).

jaymc, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:41 (fourteen years ago) link

uh, that's not that old ... half of my friends are in that age range ...

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:42 (fourteen years ago) link

"which reads like you're primarily hating on Heffernan for neutrally passing along the friend's tale (which you can do too, obviously)"

It's the whole thing really. It's her friend, but also the way she's casually relating the whole thing. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

Alex in SF, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Blog post on Virginia Heffernan's wedding:
http://www.xtcian.com/arch/001618.php

jaymc, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:42 (fourteen years ago) link

uh, that's not that old ... half of my friends are in that age range ...

I never said it was. But it probably skews slightly old for Facebook.

jaymc, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:43 (fourteen years ago) link

That blog post makes me hate her even more.

Alex in SF, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:43 (fourteen years ago) link

bowtie guy is prob coolest guy on the planet
http://www.xtcian.com/RonJodiIan2VAWed(bl).jpg

velko, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:44 (fourteen years ago) link

slightly old for facebook doesn't seem to really matter anymore

iatee, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:44 (fourteen years ago) link

That's her husband, isn't it?

Alex in SF, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:44 (fourteen years ago) link

xp alex (a few posts back) pretty much, yeah ... the whole thing reads like a hastily compiled list of reasons a few of the writer's friends quit facebook without any real point about generational differences, technological change, or interesting information

bowtie guy looks kinda familiar

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:45 (fourteen years ago) link

I think bowtie guy is the author of the blog post.

jaymc, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:45 (fourteen years ago) link

actually - he looks like this douchey guy at my college who wore a suit every day to be "rebellious."

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:45 (fourteen years ago) link

haha yeah okay see maybe this is my deeper issue: some woman gets an email from Heffernan asking why she quit Facebook -- she says oh, I joined cause my hip friend said it was awesome, but then the main application I liked got axed, someone called me old, my stepson got all Facebooked out, and eventually I was like screw it, I'll just play backgammon. this seems relatively normal and non-annoying to me, I guess; it seems like such a touchy bar for calling people out as annoying. I'm being way more annoying right now than that, just not in the Times.

since I'm being annoying I will add value with this actual screencap of "Alex"'s Facebook page and the REAL reason she quit:

http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Q6umM-500x392.jpg

nabisco, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:46 (fourteen years ago) link

I just assumed it was David Samuels. Photo captioning sucks on that thing.

Alex in SF, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:46 (fourteen years ago) link

xp nabisco: the way you phrased it is far less annoying than the phrasing in the article ...

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:47 (fourteen years ago) link

nabisco, this also might not be as big a deal if it weren't for the fact that the nyt has been fairly routinely making up fads lately and this fits into that pattern

iatee, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:48 (fourteen years ago) link

xp - Alex - I doubt that's the douchey suit guy, he just looks like him.

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:49 (fourteen years ago) link

Scrabulous didn't even disappear, it just became Lexulous instead (with the same app and stats even kept, as far as I can make out).

Spy in the Cab Sav (Trayce), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:53 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh, multipost.

Spy in the Cab Sav (Trayce), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:53 (fourteen years ago) link

You are right. David Samuels appears to have an eating disorder like his wife.

Alex in SF, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:54 (fourteen years ago) link

there were significant changes made when scrabulous became lexulous, at least for users in the USA.

ian, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:55 (fourteen years ago) link

Also the thing I think silly about this article is more things like

"Another friend, who didn’t want his name used, found that Facebook undermined his whole notion of online friendship. “It’s easy to think of your circle of ‘Friends’ as a coherent circle, clear and moated, when in fact the splay of overlap/network makes drip/action painting a better (visual) analogy.”"

OMG! Online friendships might not be quite like real ones! OMG I spend too much time online and it's full of ads and vapid!

Hello, 2001 called?

Spy in the Cab Sav (Trayce), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:55 (fourteen years ago) link

is the Bogus Trend Story thing really more prevalent at the Times, or does the Times just catch more public shit for them? (that's a serious non-rhetorical question.) like today the WSJ is getting it over an article about people cutting their own hair.

nabisco, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:04 (fourteen years ago) link

(I guess the Times's do tend to be more embarrassing, in our world, since they often have to do with trends of hipness or style)

nabisco, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:05 (fourteen years ago) link

wall street journal trend pieces tend to be WAY worse in my experience--i remember one from last winter about people who wear sneakers at the office--but i think they, uh, suffer from the subtle bigotry of low expectations

fleetwood (max), Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Probably because the Times is the most prominent "serious" paper in the country they get more shit about bogus trend stories ... the SF Chronicle definitely has its fair share ...

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:07 (fourteen years ago) link

I do think it's getting more prevalent - and ilx isn't the only one noticing (http://www.slate.com/id/2225301/)

Whether the WSJ / other crappy newspapers do it more often than the Times doesn't particularly matter, and that certainly doesn't excuse the Times for doing it.

iatee, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:08 (fourteen years ago) link

you get them in the UK, but they don't have this deadly serious capital-J journalism tone.

caek, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:09 (fourteen years ago) link

i think times just gets the most shit on ilx becuase its the only paper most of us read

fleetwood (max), Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:11 (fourteen years ago) link

and yeah the chron does it like crazy, but it also doesn't have a great reputation anymore. the nyt is still taken seriously, but if they don't put a lid on this stuff, it's gonna hurt their rep in the long term. this is the 2nd most read article on nyt.com.

iatee, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:11 (fourteen years ago) link

this is the 2nd most read article on nyt.com.

You realize this is why they keep publishing them, right?

jaymc, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:12 (fourteen years ago) link

right, well if the nyt wants to aim for page hits above uh, fact-based articles, they can do a lot better than this

iatee, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:14 (fourteen years ago) link

they're usually spottable insofar as their tone's just weaselly and anecdotal and question-filled, like "could these uncertain indicators and observations maybe suggest that possibly X? Bob Abernathy thinks so, though he admits that statistics are vague; here is an interesting story about some guy that does X and says all his friends do too"

nabisco, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:15 (fourteen years ago) link

(the Heffernan absolutely does that, but I've always felt like a magazine column is the main spot that's acceptable)

nabisco, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:16 (fourteen years ago) link

in the print copy, it's pretty obv that there's a difference between the magazine and the newspaper, but the website doesn't particularly highlight that difference. I mean, it says 'magazine' on top, but I imagine 50% of the people who read this don't even know what the nyt magazine refers to.

iatee, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:19 (fourteen years ago) link

but I imagine 50% of the people who read this don't even know what the nyt magazine refers to.

You don't?

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 1 September 2009 00:35 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.xtcian.com/RonJodiIan2VAWed(bl).jpg

The walls between realities must be getting thin, bowtie guy is clearly alt-world Greg Kinnear.

brookedel, Tuesday, 1 September 2009 08:33 (fourteen years ago) link

one year passes...

Ladies and gentlemen

In her debut column, Virginia Heffernan writes about a series that explores both coal-mining narratives and reality TV.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/03/mining-reality/

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Monday, 4 April 2011 13:13 (thirteen years ago) link

Welcome Back Virginia! A wonderful writer that truly understands the digital culture as well as the pop one, i followed 'Screens' & 'The Medium' , and was pleased to see your pic and news of this 'debut' column. Your voice has been missed in it's own space.

the pinefox, Monday, 4 April 2011 13:44 (thirteen years ago) link

Perhaps the paywall went up so these people, including commenters, could be more readily isolated and contained.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 4 April 2011 13:47 (thirteen years ago) link

three months pass...

amazing picture with that story

om nom nom nnamdi asomugha (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 3 August 2011 23:30 (twelve years ago) link


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