Disgusting savages; list them ALL itt

one of my fave sandwich places had a prosciutto, tomato & fresh mozzarella sandwich that i loved
one day they ran out of tomato & subbed with pickles & didnt tell me

it was kinda good but subbing tomato with pickle was a p bizarre thought-progression to me

obviously a breadwich

xp

everyone knows this is called bread-bread. why are you all trying to come up with new names?

I once got a plastic-wrapped sandwich from Starbucks and it turned out to be two slices of bread with nothing in

Once I got my lunch from the work fridge, and found that someone had stolen the cheese from INSIDE my sandwich but left the rest behind. I know it wasn't just me forgetting to put the cheese in, because there were cheese crumbs and slice imprints in the butter.

that is next-level savagery, why the fuck would someone even think to do that let alone commit the act

as Glen Matlock would say, much worse things have happened to sandwiches.

I once bought a pair of scotch eggs for my brother and I only to find that my scotch egg had no egg inside

not really savagery but it was a pretty sad day, let me tell you

how the fuck does that happen? surely they case the scotch around the egg? probably not now i come to think of it

we should probably draw a veil over the production methods of scotch eggs tbh

I once got a can of lager from the discount shelf in ASDA and it was full of water. But the good news was I had won a hundred quid and it had a sealed tube with two sealed 50 quid notes in it.

as Glen Matlock would say, much worse things have happened to sandwiches.

tbf at least glen got something added to his sandwich, poor james suffered only subtraction

i guess what i'm saying is that true savagery is stealing a man's cheese and not even having the common decency to jizz on his bread

lol!

i once made scotch eggs and they were amazing. you end up making loads of them so i had one for lunch for like two weeks, and what a two weeks that was

good times!

captain scotcher!

lmao bizarro

Once I got my lunch from the work fridge, and found that someone had stolen the cheese from INSIDE my sandwich but left the rest behind. I know it wasn't just me forgetting to put the cheese in, because there were cheese crumbs and slice imprints in the butter.

The fault is yours for making a sandwich that included both cheese and butter. You yourself belong in this thread for such a crime.

Wait, what, unless it is cream cheese a cheese sandwich needs butter (or mayonnaise in a pinch)

i think at the very least we can agree it needs pickle

not loading all 1615 msgs to check if i've already mentioned it (i probably have) but

people in hospitals who don't wash up after using the loo. you people disgust me and you deserve to be shot.

well at least they'd be well-placed to receive medical attention after getting shot i spose

people in hospitals who don't wash up after using the loo. you people disgust me and you deserve to be shot.

well yeah, but it's even more damning in hospitals. two stall situation, the savage next to you is done and you just hear them storm out of there without using the fucking tap.

bizzo, they don't deserve medical attention.

I think people that shit in forbidden toilets and cover the plumber who is working on the soil pipe outside in their excrement. Should definitely at least be yellow carded!

How about dudes who browse their phone while at the urinal? Chee, I wonder how many of those folks are also responsible for the inexplicable piss puddles directly in front of the urinal. Cheeee...

brown carded shurely xp

lol! An old "mucker" of mine got red-carded off site for committing the very same offence.

and had to buy the plumber a new set of hand-tools. To which some of us remarked: "wash the shit off dude, they'll still work!"

i do enjoy the phrase 'forbidden toilet' tho, i've gotta be honest

nothing more enticing than the prospect of an illicit shit

just don't eat any apples from the forbidden toilet, as tempting a prospect as they may be!

BRB, gonna go hang a 'FORBIDDEN' sign on a stall door and see what happens.

v irresponsible imo, people could get trampled in the stampede of illicit-shit enthusiasts heading for the bathroom

"oh dear, not another shitting frenzy"

So wish I had access to Photoshop rn so I could quickly cobble together a cover for Illicit-Shit Enthusiast Monthly (Weekly?).

daily or gtfo imo

Never realised this was such a problem, maybe there’s scope for prototyping some sort of bog lock so that people can’t actually lift the lid and commit their brown crimes? Like an adapted steering wheel lock type thing

introducing: the shitstopper, by ronco

you'd think there would be a toilet lock, in same manner that sparkies use padlocks to lock off circuit breakers, to ensure they don't get any surprises whilst touch exposed cables.

most toilets lock from the inside is the problem

In response to what one assumes must have been a rash of panicked employees who found themselves unable to escape their locked bathroom stalls (not outside the realm of possibility in this workplace), our building recently changed the stall locks so that they can, in an emergency, be unlocked from the outside. It's a complicated mechanism which would require the use of a flathead screwdriver or a quarter, probably just a thumbnail really, which has led me to philosophical inquiries on the nature of a lock (is a lock still a lock when everyone in the world has an equal degree of control over its lockedness?).

birds

they are total dinosaurs if you ask me.

There are degrees. WKIW a robin but a goose can suck a fuck.

corvids ftw

I love birds, it's those sadistic stinking furballs that hunt them that can fuck right off, or "snakes with fur" or "breath stealing night-wraiths" or whatever you call them.

Birds are awesome other than seagulls which are the dumbest most useless fuckheads. At least a crow has the dignity to wait until you leave to eat your food. Seagulls just grab it out your hand. Also they fly around at 2 am screaming in their high pitched whinny and wake up the neighbourhood.

Update on bagel hot sauce ordeal: went to complain as a friend suggested i should. There was an English barrier and they had no idea why I was complaining. I left wondering why the fuck did I bother.

Is it cool if I get your last sentence engraved on my tombstone?