stephen king c/d?

Between mouthfuls of mu shu pork, a samurai attempted to dispense ancient Chinese secrets about how to get the bloodstains out of his jacket. He gingerly stepped over the tiny businesspeople as they took off their suit jackets in preparation for their afternoon kabuki performance and managed to sidle out the door just as the sound of a gong signaled the beginning of their Tet celebrations.

lol

When you open the book there's a microchip embedded on the page that makes a loud "goooooooong" sound.

tbf to stephen, larry is (iirc) a total asshole so maybe this is just king supplying yet more supporting material for his asshole case file?

reaching pretty far for that one tho

I've been listening to that consequence of sound podcast at the gym - I appreciate their enthusiasm, it's a nice counterpoint to the haters podcast I listen to, but they are way too forgiving imo and they really bend over backwards to excuse pretty blatant racism like the above (they also need to watch their levels; I think I have permanent ear damage from all the times that woman bellowed into the mic). I like that they devote like 40 minutes per episode to taking king to task for his gross and horrible descriptions of women's bodies & whatever he thinks sex is, not so much that they devote a whole hour to *reads generic anti-trump tweet* "pretty good zinger there mr King"

Yeah, the tweets section is pretty intolerable. I also noticed that they would really go in on him over his sexism, but for the most part haven't touched on much racism. They did spend a few minutes on the "negroid lips" remark from Sometimes They Come Back iirc.

that they devote like 40 minutes per episode to taking king to task for his gross and horrible descriptions of women's bodies & whatever he thinks sex is

this does not sound remotely appealing in any way

It's p fun tbh; most of the segment is just them reading out passages and loling, no additional commentary needed

He fumbled with his viscous turkey leg and, with a gibbering moan, wedged it between her squamous hamhocks. The sensation was not unlike that of cramming a fistful of pizza dough into a public toilet. They thrashed their supple, ashen bodies against one another like two frightened ponies who've been tied together and thrown out of a plane.

Even when I was years away from knowing anything about sex, I strongly suspected that SK's sex scenes were somewhat off.

I'm sure you'll find my post somewhere upthread about his discomforting habit of sticking in broadly, loud-and-proud racist characters, whose cartoonish lack of characterization often just seems like an excuse to drop N-bombs.

xp So, a "takedown" of the most famous author of all time that anachronistically pokes fun at books nearly half a century old by ignoring context and LOLing at fictional characters' failure to take 2017 liberal politics into account. Sounds delightful

I'm sure you'll find my post somewhere upthread about his discomforting habit of sticking in broadly, loud-and-proud racist characters, whose cartoonish lack of characterization often just seems like an excuse to drop N-bombs.

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, May 4, 2017 2:57 PM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fwiw Tarantino is the king of this

I would just like to point out that Old Lunch has quoted three of the most amazing sentences ever written

No, no. I mean - they're godawful descriptions even for their time. I think the CoS people contextualize it pretty well.

xxp

I don't think that's an actual quote. At least, I hope not.

I thought Old Lunch was writing those himself as a parody!

Yeah, that was the product of my own diseased mind, so sorry for any confusion.

in some dimension, Stephen King wrote those words

I choose to believe it was this one

"gingerly" was an expert touch.

Given that my mind was damaged at least in part by reading too much King at too impressionable an age, I think it's fair to give him the credit.

If I'd referred to a woman's genitalia as 'her sex' I might've set myself up for a plagiarism lawsuit.

xps look I know it's very important to you that nobody ever say mean things about sexists but the simple fact is that fame aside Stephen King has always written badly about sex and it has always been funny, I don't know what to tell you

They thrashed their supple, ashen bodies against one another like two frightened ponies who've been tied together and thrown out of a plane.

― Jigsaw Pizzle (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 May 2017 19:53

I was about go ask which book this was from, disappointed it's not real, but that's genius Old Lunch.

He writes about sex like someone who can clearly recollect a number of sexual encounters just shy of the number of children he has.

xp So, a "takedown" of the most famous author of all time that anachronistically pokes fun at books nearly half a century old by ignoring context and LOLing at fictional characters' failure to take 2017 liberal politics into account. Sounds delightful

― Wimmels, Thursday, May 4, 2017 12:00 PM (twenty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh hey the guy who defends dudes accused of rape because he likes their music also doesn't like people talking about sexism

i am surprise

now put your seatbelt on as you drive 100 yards from stop to stop you dang slob

doesn't like people talking about sexism

I didn't say that at all, but don't let that stop you from your virtue signaling

I just think that CoS podcast sounds extremely boring. sorry

you do realize virtue signaling is a term used by terminal wankstains?

if you're going to be a "oh we can never know what truly happened" dude about rape then if you also use the term virtue signaling you're basically guaranteeing that you come across like a cock

virtue signalling aka having values

you do realize virtue signaling is a term used by terminal wankstains?

― -_- (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 4 May 2017 22:35

Which is a shame because I think it's a decent term.

you do realize virtue signaling is a term used by terminal wankstains?

― -_- (jim in vancouver), Thursday, May 4, 2017 5:35 PM (fifteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

As long as you're dispensing wisdom, please tell me about the kind of people who use the term "wankstain" and if they are allowed to use scissors unsupervised

xp. it's just that if the people who used such buzz-term jargon shite would think, or read, for a second they would realize that the idea that all ethical statements are essentially emotional, or non-cognitive, expressions and not propositions and that any time we make any value judgement of any kind we are "virtue signaling" and that they themselves do it all the time, including when they tell people they are virtue signaling, as all that amounts to is the expression of the sentiment "boohoo, you made a value judgement i don't like"

above should read they would realize that the idea that all ethical statements are essentially emotional, or non-cognitive, expressions and not propositions is a very old one and that any time we make any value judgement blah blah

lads its the stephen king thread

the

stephen

king

thread

Sorry guys, but I must finish this bit quickly.

Jim- That's often true but sometimes the woke-braggery is so pungent, done in such an insincere and self-serving way that it should be criticized. I think sometimes virtue signalling might be a necessary evil when you really need to clarify your position but it so easily slips into self-aggrandizing crap for some people.

And back when sjw (or social justice maniac) was used by left wing people there was an understanding that it was used for bullies and not just social justice people, liberals and lefties in general.

Ok Darragh : Stephen King in creepshow reminds me of Bill Hader for some reason

i think he does look like hader tbh

also RAG tbh that was the least necessary "i gotta just say thus" ever

today i learned about "virtue signalling" in a stephen king thread and now i will walk into the ocean

http://cdn5.ihorror.com/app/uploads/creepshow.gif

xp why walk into the ocean?

http://images.amcnetworks.com/ifc.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Creepshow.jpg

I've heard that Danson prefers not to acknowledge that film.

http://i.imgur.com/tJ3SvmQ.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/tJ3SvmQ.gif

Enter, if you dare, a frightening new world from the mind of Stephen King, a world whose seemingly-righteous denizens casually use figures of speech which reveal their true nature as abhorrent wraiths who feed on everything that's good in humanity. Pick up Virtue Signaling at your local B. Dalton Bookseller's today!

i'd like to go back to old lynch's sex paragraph

er, old lunch