Boob etiquette (a question for the ladies).

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (418 of them)

Boob etiquette (a question for the fellas).

― Dan (No Molestation Without Representation) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Right, right. Everybody's right. It's not to say that I don't have some friends from whom I would take "Nice rack" as a sincere compliment and "How's your vaginal pH?" as a welcome expression of concern. I think there's a combination of male entitlement (to comment/critique women's bodies) and a social fiction that when men and women interact, men are able to table their sexy boob thoughts and just engage the woman as a peer that draw the line for me personally.

Here's an example: I'm out at a bar with a law school pal and at some point in the night he looks at my chest and tells me that my shirt makes my boobs look huge. Now this is completely unwelcome and innapropriate and I tell him so, to which he responds, "I'll bet you let Jeff tell you that your boobs look big!"

And I do, but that's because Jeff is MY HUSBAND. And unless there was enough alcohol involved that I don't remember it (which is possible), he's never made comments about my breasts while in public within earshot of our friends. And if he had, there was probably a fight later. But otherwise, of COURSE Jeff can tell me things about my boobs. I welcome such comments because they might lead to doing it.

Now I'm distracted. But I think I've made my point. Or I hope so because I'm late for work - the jist of it is that a reasonable rule of thumb (or boob) would be NOT to bring it up unless the woman initiates her body as a topic of conversation. Such as by waving her recently augmented tits in your face, for an excellent example.

― Safety First (pullapartgirl), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:05 (seventeen years ago) link

last par otm.

― Seriously, Try Punching This Guy in the Face and See What Happens (Enrique), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:14 (seventeen years ago) link

But hey, as long as such things have never negatively impacted your enjoyment of vaginas there must not be a problem, right?

haha I R A BOY

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:28 (seventeen years ago) link

http://cain.ulst.ac.uk/images/posters/ira/poster09r.jpg

― Seriously, Try Punching This Guy in the Face and See What Happens (Enrique), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:30 (seventeen years ago) link

what is this finnish boob word? i dislike the english word boob in most contexts

― spectra (spectra), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:22 (seventeen years ago) link

There are many words obviously, but the best translation and roughly the equivalent in tone is "tissi". "Tissit" in the plural. It's also the most popular one after "breasts".

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Let me give you another example: a few months ago me and a female friend of mine got into an argument on who's ass is bigger. This lead into us standing next to each other while another friend took measure of our asses.

Another average day in Finland...... :)

― JTS (JTS), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:29 (seventeen years ago) link

It was a draw, by the way.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Har Har, look at those hooters!

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:54 (seventeen years ago) link

big tissit erotic restaurant

― guns to deal with vodka (haitch), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:45 (seventeen years ago) link

That restaurant looks even sillier than Hooters!

― Abbott (Abbott), Monday, 12 June 2006 15:48 (seventeen years ago) link

When I was in highs school, some religious nutso actually burned down the strip club right next to our school. (We got the day off due to all the smoke; I don't think I've ever seen so many happy faces in our school, everyone applauded when the headmaster told us we can go.) The same guy also tried to burn Michael Jackson when he was having a gig here, but he was caught pouring gasoline underneath the stage before the gig started.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Here in the real world, we call that "arson," and you go to jail for it.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Even the first time!

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:02 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't remember the details... Maybe he was caught only after the MJ incident and it was later found out he burned that strip club too, or maybe he was on probation or something. But I definitely remember it was the same guy, he thought strip clubs and Michael Jackson were ungodly.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:05 (seventeen years ago) link

He was on to something.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I once told friend she had great tits, but mainly because my g/f was losing an argument with her over how great my friend's tits were (female deprecation, actually wanted some male reinforcement since her b/f stopped sleeping with her).

1) Her tits are great.
2) My g/f pointed it out at much greater length than I did.
3) At that precise point, she needed a bloke to tell her that.

So, although I was definitely saying it from a sexist perspective, it's still (IMO) an order of magnitude less creepy than Tuomas in the Roxy example.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 12 June 2006 17:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Bad move, dude.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 17:55 (seventeen years ago) link

It's OK, I only did it once, and for the first time in over 10 years of non-sexism, plus the rest of her would be taken care of by other sexists so I didn't need to feel any liberal guilt about the bit I was associated with.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:08 (seventeen years ago) link

I think you're cool as long as you didn't attempt the quarter test.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:08 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it. Sometimes you do wrong things for the right reasons. I'd be wonderful to live in a world where your boobs wouldn't have anything to do with your self-esteem, but sadly that ain't the case. Of course in the long run such behaviour will only reinforce the existing sexism, but in some cases you gotta choose empathy over ethics.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Am I wrong to want to excelsior that?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:17 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.
I don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits if she's asking for it.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:17 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost The first sentence alone is priceless.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:18 (seventeen years ago) link

the old "she was asking for it" defense, eh? very eisenhower-era if you ask me.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:18 (seventeen years ago) link

"Asking for it" in the literal sense, not "asking for it in my imagination".

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:18 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't find that much wrong in complimenting someone's tits, if THEY CAN FORM VOLTRON WITH THEM.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:18 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't think any right-thinking person would disagree with that, Steve.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Clearly I shouldn't post anything on this thread anymore, since every sentence will be misinterpreted to pieces.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:20 (seventeen years ago) link

+3 tits of voltron morphing

― Damn, Atreyu! (x Jeremy), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:21 (seventeen years ago) link

"Lovely roboboobs."

― Damn, Atreyu! (x Jeremy), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe a little sympathy is in order, though. Maybe Tuomas does not understand the meanings of our words and idioms. That happens. It's entirely possible that in Finnish, "She's asking for it" means you should buy her roses and dinner and leave without a kiss.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:22 (seventeen years ago) link

This is what they had the princess around for, wasn't it?

― kingfish du lac (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:22 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/267780/2/istockphoto_267780_boo_hoo.jpg

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:23 (seventeen years ago) link

"....and I'll form...the HEAD!"

― kingfish du lac (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:25 (seventeen years ago) link

NSFW pic

― 333333333333 (33333), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Have none of you had a situation where someone expects you to compliment on her appearance to make her feel better, if she's like "I'll never get a man again, I look horrible!". Generally I say something like "Do you really want a man who'll only care about your looks?", but if it feels like that would no good, of course I'll compliment her looks. Admittedly, that doesn't usually involve saying she has great tits, but that's how I interpreted Aldo's post, and that was what I meant by my garbled English there.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:27 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.littleshutterbug.com/gallery/voltron.jpg

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:28 (seventeen years ago) link

yuck

xpost

― Super Cub (Debito), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Have none of you had a situation where someone expects you to compliment on her appearance to make her feel better, if she's like "I'll never get a man again, I look horrible!"

Let's unpack this. Let's unpack this like we'll be here for a week.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:32 (seventeen years ago) link

When my friends have romance-related problems, they generally don't attribute these troubles to their physical appearance. Perhaps my friends have a better self-image than most. They are much more likely to lament their ability to pick/find good mates or conduct themselves well in a relationship.

― Super Cub (Debito), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:35 (seventeen years ago) link

I compliment the cans all the time.

― Jeff. (Jeff), Monday, 12 June 2006 23:18 (seventeen years ago) link

what finally convinced me to try to not stare at boobs (i do try) and not try any longer to pretend that when I say "great boobs" or whatever I'm complementing the girl instead of just being a self-serving prick with a complete lack of tact and sense is was imagining living in a world where women hid all their goodies in hot, uncomfortable outfits with pleats and high collars and layers upon layers of starched cotton and wool while men went about wearing spandex drawers and tank tops, where the volume of a dude's triceps directly correlated to his performance in job interviews and our genital dimensions were essentially on display for all the world to gawk at or ignore at will. As much as a completely dumb son of a bitch might think "yeah I got big balls, thanks ladies!" would be his response to a wolf whistle, after going through the incredible extra trauma this would have added to our adolescence I think we'd all actually just feel like shit 90% of the time we were outside of the house. March on, ladies. I'll be in the turtleneck.

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Monday, 12 June 2006 23:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Also Tuomas yes I just called you a completely dumb son of a bitch

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Monday, 12 June 2006 23:32 (seventeen years ago) link

For chrissakes, why does everyone think I'm talking about commenting how great someone's boobs are?! No doubt that's sexist and objectifying women, but what this thread was supposed to be about was boob talk in general. Of course, if you think there's no way you can even mention boobs without being a sexist, then the point is kinda lost. Anyway, my last post was a comment to Aldo's, and I was trying to say that in this very specific situation I might understand complimenting on someone's breasts. But I don't go on everyday saying "nice breasts" to my friends.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 02:48 (seventeen years ago) link

Do you find it rude if a male friend talks about your boobs?

It has never happened, but I can imagine it would be, at the very least, awkward.

Or boobs in general?

I would find it tacky or infantile, depending upon the circumstance.

How well would you have to know him for it to be normal?

I don't think it would be normal for a male friend to discuss any of my body parts with me, save for perhaps, my hands. I think hands are fair game.

Is there some company where the subject shouldn't be raised?

Breast cancer sufferers or survivors, for example.

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 02:54 (seventeen years ago) link

i honestly cannot imagine discussing my friends' tits. they might as well not have any for all i care

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 02:57 (seventeen years ago) link

and i'm one crass son of a bitch at the best of times

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 02:58 (seventeen years ago) link

By the way, I do talk about men's bodies with my friends too, and my body. Of course it's not the same due to different treatment women and men get in general, but I just wanted to make sure you get the whole picture. Generally I'm against objectifying anyone, women or men, but it'd be ridiculous to assume this would exclude talking about bodies in any sense.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 02:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 318 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.