Nothing is plastic once it's worn
― droit au butt (Euler), Tuesday, 8 December 2015 11:36 (eight years ago) link
A moth to a flame makes a sane man lame.
― how's life, Tuesday, 8 December 2015 12:58 (eight years ago) link
Every fight about work is a fight about fighting about work.
― rap is dad (it's a boy!), Saturday, 26 December 2015 04:19 (eight years ago) link
Ain't no party like the Democratic party cause the Democratic party has pizza rolls
― Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 26 December 2015 08:52 (eight years ago) link
Bees knees are overrated.
― Mark G, Monday, 28 December 2015 11:31 (eight years ago) link
When the beast kneels, the feast begins!
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Monday, 28 December 2015 18:02 (eight years ago) link
demi lovato and wilder valderrama's dog 'spawn' died, he was fez on tv
― del griffith, Monday, 28 December 2015 18:05 (eight years ago) link
Show me a person that understands fractions, and I'll show you a really neat piece of ice
― Karl Malone, Monday, 28 December 2015 18:06 (eight years ago) link
A really neat piece of ice doesn't last forever, so try to get other people to look at it while it still exists
― Karl Malone, Monday, 28 December 2015 18:11 (eight years ago) link
as long as I have a face, you'll always have a place to sit
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Monday, 28 December 2015 18:11 (eight years ago) link
if you're not going to wash it, don't expect anybody to eat it
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Monday, 28 December 2015 18:12 (eight years ago) link
when a banana loses its peel, it gains what it lost in elasticity
a real man doesn't see with his eyes - he dances with them
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Monday, 28 December 2015 18:13 (eight years ago) link
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is to explain what was so neat about a piece of ice that wasn't documented properly before it completely melted
― Karl Malone, Monday, 28 December 2015 18:13 (eight years ago) link
When passing through a dark moment in time, one must always remember to bring a flashlight. and the right batteries for the flashlight.
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Monday, 28 December 2015 18:15 (eight years ago) link
don't step on a crackOr Aunt Jemima will no longer be Black
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Monday, 28 December 2015 18:16 (eight years ago) link
the worm turns easier through an apple
― μpright mammal (mh), Monday, 28 December 2015 18:22 (eight years ago) link
An owl in the hand doesnt give a hoot.
― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 29 December 2015 05:02 (eight years ago) link
Even a toad avoids a sleeping rat.
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 29 December 2015 18:25 (eight years ago) link
The owl sings the other birds to sleep.
When the rose is in the arbor, the ship stays in the harbor.
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 1 January 2016 18:14 (eight years ago) link
Fool me thrice: neat piece of ice!
― Sorkinspeak coaxed out Oscar begging near the tabs of Link Wray (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 1 January 2016 18:29 (eight years ago) link
Pontius PilateWould have been a PirateBut for want of an "Rrrrrrr!"
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 1 January 2016 18:48 (eight years ago) link
Is this about sex?
― jmm, Friday, 1 January 2016 18:53 (eight years ago) link
what do you think?
Three pennies are enough to gild a pig.
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 1 January 2016 18:53 (eight years ago) link
If I whine, I am pineIf I purr, I am firIf I creak, I am teakIf I crash, I am ashIf I screech, I am beechIf I lurch, I am birchIf I spoke, I am oak
― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Friday, 1 January 2016 21:33 (eight years ago) link
if it's long, bulbous and thickmake sure it's zucchiniand not a dick
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 1 January 2016 21:37 (eight years ago) link
You can't burn a fork.
― how's life, Thursday, 4 February 2016 15:14 (eight years ago) link
Yawn at the dawnBe right at the right
― Ad h (onimo), Friday, 5 February 2016 19:55 (eight years ago) link
when the heedless boar disturbs the beehive, many oxen suffer also
― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Friday, 5 February 2016 22:06 (eight years ago) link
Dead Libyans make poor allies.
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 February 2016 22:55 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― broderick f (darraghmac), Thursday, 11 February 2016 00:20 (eight years ago) link
blood doesn't pool in a broken limb
― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Sunday, 6 March 2016 20:25 (eight years ago) link
if foxes had orchards, assholes would work
― veggie sticks potato snacks (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 29 September 2016 21:39 (seven years ago) link
No one will appreciate your really neat piece of ice, so enjoy it on your own terms, alone
― I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Friday, 30 September 2016 04:13 (seven years ago) link
^ pithy!
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 30 September 2016 04:15 (seven years ago) link
Over the years I have learned much from the cube
― I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Friday, 30 September 2016 05:35 (seven years ago) link
When a loved one dies, don't be sadCos you can take their stuff
― Neanderthal, Friday, 30 September 2016 05:58 (seven years ago) link
Always listen to your parentsAnd get a stenographer to write it downThen later in life, when they're on their deathbedsBody them with their lies
― Neanderthal, Friday, 30 September 2016 05:59 (seven years ago) link
and take their stuff
an ex-gf was incredibly funny w these (she used to do them in the voice of steve earle's character in the wire) but i cannot remember any of them because none of them made enough sense to remember. just remember not being able to breathe.
― florence foster wallace (difficult listening hour), Friday, 30 September 2016 06:03 (seven years ago) link
men seldom make passes, much like inert gases
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Friday, 30 September 2016 06:19 (seven years ago) link
find a penny on the floorNed Beatty will come through your door
― Neanderthal, Friday, 30 September 2016 06:20 (seven years ago) link
If you can't see the forest, you can't hear the tree.
― Zachary Taylor, Friday, 30 September 2016 06:37 (seven years ago) link
Bodhidharma would have been all over this thread
― erudite beach boys fan (sheesh), Friday, 30 September 2016 07:29 (seven years ago) link
When the wind blows, the wind knows
― droit au butt (Euler), Friday, 30 September 2016 09:00 (seven years ago) link
One sweater, never betterTwo or more, your father's a whore
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 30 September 2016 09:04 (seven years ago) link
Red sky at night, shepherds' delightRed sky in the morning, horrible morning
― Lennon, Elvis, Hendrix etc (dog latin), Friday, 30 September 2016 09:10 (seven years ago) link
You dont react to the shark, you react to the other fish in the shoal
― provisional ilx (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 10:47 (four years ago) link
remember, when your pants are down around your ankles- that's the time to pull your socks up
― provisional ilx (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 10:48 (four years ago) link
when you're in a crater, stop gravitating
― a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 10:50 (four years ago) link
No need to make any up, literal translations of extant proverbs from other languages will suffice. To wit:
'Whether you like it or not, drink up the holy water, Gregory!'
'Placenta ahead, war backwards.'
'Like the Turk and his gun.'
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 10:55 (four years ago) link