The strangest of the strange: it's 2015 and summer is queer°•○●□■♤♡♢♧☆

pride mourning

http://cdn1.sciencefiction.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/kitty.jpg

my boo who I been kickin it w/ for the past 4 months moved to Portland like 20 minutes ago :-(

Hey guys, I got married yesterday!

These last two posts combine the bitter and the sweet.

Congrats, crypto.

Sorry, stevie!

i.e. welcome to the gay thread

Oh jeez, had I noticed what post I would have been following, I would have held off on my announcing until after someone had posted a joke about fisting or something.

Genuinely sorry, Stevie.

Also, I probably need a new display name, considering, but my gay sadness of the week was learning that then co-star of my favourite gay romance is a homophobic asshat.

Why is he your favourite?

He isn't, his film My Bodyguard. I'm being a bit wink-nudgey whenever I call it that, of course, but still like 80% sincere.

My Bodyguard *is*.

oh it's okay, we weren't "officially dating" but we were texing every day, hanging out once or twice a week, making dinner for each other, screwing, sleeping over, being unguarded and emotional and talking to each other for advice, etc

CONGRATULATIONS crypto! so amazing.

Stevie I'm really sorry, that's so hard. <3

congrats crypto! i like 'my bodyguard' too (watched it for the first time earlier this year)

sorry stevie :/

i saw MB when it came out... Matt Dillon = chicken delight

Belated thanks for the congrats, guys!

I thought Dillon was waaay hotter in Little Darlings (that HAIR).

And in case not everyone here reads the documentary thread, the new Larry Kramer HBO doc is good, though How to Survive a Plague is still better. Still, I fear that the combination of being fresh wed and too many sad movies (this and Inside Out in the last couple of days) is turning me into a crybaby.

happy 4th ~~

My friend invited me over to watch a movie w/ him and his husband and he fell asleep and I fucked his husband in hot tub (and a sling) (and a bed) until 5:30 am, whoops

that was my 4th of July

god shed his grace on thee

Whoops!

the Fuck Heard Round the World

sounds about right lol

hi, my name is surm, and i'm gay and drunk

I'm Alfred. I'm gay and eating oatmeal.

I'm Morbs, I'm queer and entering my second week on the BRAT diet.

you devour awful children

do we think Ryan Vigilant is cute?

http://queermeup.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/NAKED-AS-WE-CAME-5.jpg

yes. is he on the cleanup crew at your school?

just learned one of my good gay friends in town is going to be taking a job offer in madison, wi and moving in like 6 weeks. he's been living apart from his husband for a couple years as they pursued their careers and he's making the move so they can be together again. i know it's the right choice for him but for right now i'm feeling selfishly sad about it.

That's not selfish at all. Selfish wd be you being pass-agg towards him or guilting him about it (like a mutual acquaintance did NONSTOP for weeks when my pseudo-boof moved to PDX in June); you feeling sad and wanting him to stay so that you have someone to hang out with is completely reasonable.

yeah any good friend moving away is gonna inspire those feelings i think. seems pretty normal to me you'd feel that way

he's been conflicted about taking the job because he really enjoys the life he's made here, the decision's been up in the air for a couple of weeks. now the decision's been made i feel bad for being disappointed. i really value his happiness so it's good for him to go, but... :(

Madison has its benefits.

http://youtu.be/DkNoxh8qZgU

That thing I was involved in, it ended last week. I was prepared to walk away and reset my brain, but the other couple somewhat abruptly broke it off themselves, and I had to spend the past week engaged in caring for the worse-off of the two. This, despite feeling relatively emotionally raw and lost myself.

It's amazing how incredible one can lose their sense of self in a romance, I feel like I need to remember who I am and what I do with my days. Remember what my conversations and friendships were like before I met them. I think back to where I was before this whole ordeal, and remember I was just posting here a lot, spending too much time on the internet, getting depressed about my "career", feeling no social grounding. So it was a positive thing, this romance. But right now I guess there needs to be some redefinition of self.

A terrible narrative that's been occupying my head these past few months is "how should a queer be", like, I walk away from this romance feeling no sexual desire, feeling no desire whatsoever, just a cold nothingness. Does whom-you-desire define your sexuality? I wish I could even get through a movie without sinking into the feeling of missing that "romantic obsession". I don't have a taste for good food or travel or anything any more. Just a nostalgia for that period last fall when my life was romantically upended.

The Lex said it was about one's "urban enclave", making a family therein, and I thought I had that but I don't, I'm just an individual with a cluttered house and an internet connection.

I wish I was good at casual sex, basically. Love you all, all you homos, but today and today only I'm extending a middle finger to those of you who are capable of hook-ups and one-night stands without feeling like your entire universe has been inverted

Last month I caught up with a friend who is lesbian and I have had the biggest crush on for years, and would throw aside my entire life to just be her houseboy. I was talking with her and realized that nine years had gone by since we'd lived in the same city; nine years! The feelings I have for her were rooted in such old memories.

She's married now and living on the other side of the country. She and her wife have gotten really into country & western dancing, and making boots for people, with customized stitching and stuff like that. She gets a lot of orders from the gay and lesbian community, and has designed a boot commemorating the 51st state (a fictional queer state). (It occurs to me that some posters might actually know this woman, she was a part of West Side Stitches some years ago and ran with Ginger Brooks Takahashi.)

She told me about the history of gay and lesbian country & western dancing, how it became a kind of proxy queer culture during the AIDS era, a way of having a social activity that wasn't rooted in bar and pick-up culture. Considering that the culture of my straight friends in their 30s is "last hurrah sexcapades" or "baby photos!!" I'm just feeling super left-out, the music scene I've participated in is decidedly for people younger than me, I wish I even had a water cooler or something.

My therapist is away today, babysitting his grandchildren.

I love that yr posting again, fgti, and your posts are always thoughtful and provocative and courageous, but I'm sorry your recent experience has left you feeling "emotionally raw and lost." "How should a queer be" is a question I occasionally struggle with before going, "aw, fuck it," but my recent marriage has caused it to stir around my brain a little more frequently lately (though I'm still as convinced that taking this leap was the right thing to do as I have ever been about anything, ever).

A conversation with my five-year-old niece yesterday concluded with her exclaiming, "You're married to a BOY?!" which led to a mildly awkward moment where my mom hastily stepped in to explain that "boys can marry boys" (to which my niece was pretty much like "ok" [*shrug*] before moving on to the next thing) but, eh, an amusing moment and perhaps a teachable one as well.

I'm just an individual with a cluttered house and an internet connection.

me too.

hope you feel your way out of the cold, dear.

I'm just an individual with a cluttered house and an internet connection.

just. like. everybody else does

I wish I was good at casual sex, basically. Love you all, all you homos, but today and today only I'm extending a middle finger to those of you who are capable of hook-ups and one-night stands without feeling like your entire universe has been inverted

this is the 1st wknd away i haven't hooked up with someone unexpected, except for my boyfriend

also i'm too skinny and will be making it my mission to gain 4 pounds in the next week, i feel like i'm an actor playing a part for a movie

and yes you can think i'm a dick bc this entire post is annoying thx

always glad to see you post here fgti and i hope you weather all of your various emotional storms. i have no idea how a queer is supposed to be and i doubt i ever will, and i distrust anyone who claims to have the answer. (i mean i like to think that implicit in the uhh project of queerness is the notion that there *isn't* a set-in-stone answer! which is both liberating and frustrating as hell.) also the c&w thing is really fascinating to me! i would like to read more about that.

fwiw the day after i posted about us taking a guy home, we decided to stop doing extra-relationship commingling. not gonna get into why, but we both agreed it's for the best.

A good--hell, I might even say necessary--convo for queer couples to have. I was getting worried for a second because I never bothered to bring up the issue of "so, are 3somes still ok?" in the lead up to our marriage, and my partner is the far more likely of the two of us to decide that they no longer are, but the other day he dropped a casual reference to what will likely occur when our one friend visits us in a few weeks that was still very-pro groupsex, so whew!

all depends on the day tbh

this weird thing has been happening with sex, and my hair. i don't know really how to explain it better than that. you know i guess you have good hair days and bad hair days. i dunno, but listening to this new Robyn song is making everything p good.