people that YELP are scumbags

He wanted me to pay him for bug in my food like a dumbass!

Last time I went to one of my favorite restaurants, I noticed a dead roach. It had become stuck in the frame of one of the pieces of art in the bathroom. I was so bummed. I didn't bring it up to the server or anything, or even anyone I was eating with. I had planned to send a letter or email to the manager or someone to let them know, but never ended up doing so.

(oh, point being: I didn't fucking YELP about it either)

http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/yelp-has-a-truly-staggering-number-of-dumb-reviews-1659501105

"racist against whites" site:yelp.com

About 1,060 results (0.23 seconds)

http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/yelp-has-a-truly-staggering-number-of-dumb-reviews-1659501105

― put your money where the maracas are (how's life), Thursday, November 20, 2014 8:39 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Didn't read this, but I generally kind of roll my eyes when blogsites do this sort of meme-compilation journalism. It makes me think of an 80s news anchor voice going "It's called Hardcore Punk Rock, and it may already be a craze at your kids' high school"

Yeah, it was really a disappointing compilation of reviews.

last one is v standard and not confusing at all but that might be because i read a million short stories by male college students and about 10% of them were written in that voice

yelp is a logical place for those guys to end up

Isn't the Jezebel piece the exact same thing we do here?

even a cursory read of this thread would have turned up dozens of far more horrifying and soul-sucking yelp reviews, and funnier commentary on them, sorry jez

yeah, it's like that buzzfeed thing that was like "LOOK AT ALL THESE HILARIOUS VIDEOS OF PEOPLE DANCING TO PHISH! WOULDN'T THAT BE WEIRD, IF THAT WAS WHAT REALLY HAPPENED, IN LIFE?!"

The crab guy was pretty funny tho

Calling this person out for giving my friend's awesome cafe three stars because even though the reviewer thinks it's really good, it apparently cramps her style

Jess T.
Brooklyn, NY

44 friends
133 reviews

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3.0 star rating
11/25/2014

Not entirely sure how I feel about this place. It's not "Brooklyn" or "Williamsburg" style. It feels like it belongs in the financial district or the upper west side. But the food is tasty and the coffee is delish and the service is admirable... So... Three stars is my "could swing either way" rating

I also just don't know what she means, it's pretty Brooklyn-y, and a lot of stuff in Williamsburg looks like the financial district now anyway.

lol

Starbucks
$ Coffee & Tea
405-409 Union Ave
Williamsburg, NY 11211

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1.0 star rating
9/18/2014

It's appalling that a Starbucks has opened in Williamsburg. What a blight on the neighborhood! And such a disappointment that this was even allowed. Terrible coffee, terrible service!!! Do yourself a favor and go one block down to The West, Brooklyn or one block over to Gimme Coffee and get yourself a proper, locally sourced, fair trade coffee and say "get the F out of Williamsburg" to the Green Giant! Drink local, not corporate.

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(same reviewer)

people that live in brooklyn are scumbags

So, the coffee plantations in NY are union?

yeah I know right

rooftop-grown coffee

grown right here on our own bicycles, tended to by dedicated mustaches

I do not think that "locally sourced" means what you think it means.

it certainly doesn't mean "locally roasted" -- otherwise any food cooked in the area would be "locally sourced"

did the first starbucks really open in williamsburg recently? i can't think of more than a very few even lower-middle-class neighborhoods in chicago that haven't had a starbucks for years.

btw that yelp review is like the distilled essence of self-deluded yuppie brooklynism.

i bet s/he complains about her neighborhood "gentrifying" too

from '99 to '03 i dreamed of opening a Bedford Starbucks directly across the first L stop to troll everyone. In time that storefont turned into a Dunkin Donuts so partial wish fulfillment.

Adam G.
Brooklyn, NY
16 friends
100 reviews
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2.0 star rating 11/28/2014
1 check-in
It is is a popular and trendy little place that generally meets expectations. Yet there are a few points that need to be addressed before I can grant it more stars.

The dining room is clean, though very cramped, with probably 2 or 3 more tables than is comfortable for the small space. The staff are very friendly, and quite efficient. Truly, they are the real stars of this place; eager to create a good dining experience.

The sandwiches are tasty and well prepared, and the salads are rather generous. The brunch items are unfortunately a different story. The smoked salmon platter was very much a let down. There is a great deal of fish on the plate, accompanied by a quattro of poker chip sized scallion pancakes - 2 under the fish and two liberally dolloped with creme fraiche. As well on the plate are 2 poached eggs, a clump of pickled onions, and a smattering of fresh horseradish. The scallion pancakes are too small to be anything but a garnish. The eggs were tragically overcooked and entirely cold. the horse radish was excessively biting, and rather that waking up the dish, quickly overpowered it.

The dish is very unablanced, being primary a party platter of fish with an excessive array of condiments and garnishes. Half the components on the plate are unnecessary, serving only to muddle the flavours and confuse the palate. It is a dish that requires editing - a little voice in the chef's head saying "that's enough! Stop it! Now take 2 things off that plate!"

It should be noted that the chef displays a wonderful palate. The flavour combinations work, and work well. Yet ultimately the lack of restraint is the food's undoing.

For sandwiches and salads Cafe Iris is quite nice. Though there are other options nearby that don't require sitting in the lap of other patrons for overly complicated dishes.

Oh for crying out loud.

I love yelpers.

It is a website that requires editing - of little voices in the reviewers' heads saying "me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me!"

lol tourists in Montreal trying to describe Montreal food:

http://i.imgur.com/1Rdqv6O.png

is that corned beef hash?

it looks vomitous.

So much hams.

ffs

http://www.slate.com/blogs/moneybox/2014/12/09/harvard_professor_overcharged_for_takeout_read_his_absolutely_ridiculous.html

wow, that is next-level assholery, good job harvard guy

<3 that story for leading me to this classic wikipedia page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearson_v._Chung

omg

On June 12, 2007, the trial began. Pearson broke down in tears during an explanation about his frustration after losing his pants, and a short recess had to be declared.[10]

Went in today for taco Tuesday. They have since raised the price and now it's 79 cents for hard shell tacos. I ordered 5 tacos and a medium drink and total came to $7.15 which I thought was strange. The cashier never said thank you and was pretty rude to me. The medium soda was HUGE! I thought they gave me the wrong cup but they showed me the large and it was like half a gallon cup! I then proceeded to eat the taco's and in every single one not much beef and a ton of lettuce with also very little cheese. I plan on writing corporate about this. I basically paid for stale tasting taco shells filled with lettuce. Now after finishing my taco's I thought $7.15 cant be right for what I got. 5 taco's at $.79 is $3.95 as you can see on the receipt picture I uploaded that they charged me $4.45. I told the girl working there and she said that was the right price. I thought my calculator might have been wrong so I left. I then calculated it again and they charged me $0.89 a taco instead of $0.79. Can you imagine if they did this to every customer and no one really notices because they think its just tax. Never coming back here! I will go to taco bell for sub par fake Mexican food. At least taco bell gives you more for your money and are friendlier.

http://www.boston.com/food-dining/restaurants/2014/12/10/there-more-edelman-did-this-before-and-worse/00mTW39jcyXb3VNHZoXEYN/story.html

i call upon you to refund my 50¢ if this taco tuesday is to be worthy of its name

#TacoTRUTHsday

people that meta-YELP are also scumbags

http://www.fastcompany.com/3039952/most-creative-people/the-poetry-of-yelp-how-the-reviews-site-became-a-massive-platform-for-c

There are, truly, only two types of people in the world: those who write Yelp reviews and those who don’t

With a twinge of guilt, I must confess that I fall into the latter category: I regularly consult Yelp for advice about places to check out in my neighborhood, but I’ve never written a review myself. And yet, as I’ve scanned other people’s posts over the years, I’ve often wondered what compels them to spend hours carefully crafting reviews. Are they more altruistic than I am? Are they more concerned with good service and high-quality food? Do they have more time on their hands?

It was with those questions in mind that I set out to examine the inner workings of the Yelp community...

uughhhhhhh

those inner workings in full:

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j91/terminallunch/hulkout.jpg

Clearly Edelman wants his own reality show.

I have only two complaints about this place. First, we came as it was almost closing time. Our food was brought to us immediately after we ordered and it was clear that they had already been cooked and plated before we ordered them. Despite that, the flavors of the dishes were still great. Second, our waitress was not very amiable.

soooo they came in at closing time and are complaining that the food wasn't made completely to order and that the waitstaff wanted to go home. all righty.