recently on ILX Dreams...

Introduced lex pretend to an irl friend of mine: "Sam, this is lex. He's so legit."

in the fourth of six segments of an awful dream sequence the owner of disney world told me he had completely changed the way he does business because of something i wrote online years ago. i guess i had written on ilx that disney world should use more paper? and so he transformed the company. i said "wait, i said that on ilx? yeah well i probably don't feel that way anymore."

however based on the events that took place in my dream disney world SHOULD use more safety measures and better egress from their outdoor adventure in case someone accidentally enters while trying to find their party in the dining area.

seriously crying with laughter after rescreening this entire thread

Ah crap, I had one a while back about Morbs releasing a spoken word poetry record, but I forgot to document it here and now its been wiped from my memory.

I had a dream the other night, that, the overarching reason why Robert Pollard puts out so many records is that he's in deep with the Mob. I was backstage with him, and was getting a LP autographed, and he was being harassed by some imposing goons. He mumbled, "this doesn't even cover the vig from that year," as he signed my Speak Kindly of Your Volunteer Fire Department rekkid.

lmao

i just reread this whole thread and my god but

ok i dreamt last night i was at ethans house, i was nervous, while we were waiting for cankels to show up ethan gave me some home baked chocolate chip cookies and asked very diplomatically 'so ive been wondering, how is it that you manage to post so much', i was mortified, then cankels arrived in a v small car full of a drums

― ice cr?m, Saturday, June 11, 2011 11:13 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jfc

lmao have no memory of that

"v small car full of a drums"

sure that "a" is a typo but it somehow works as a dream

yes it is ahead only of "i was mortified" in my esteem of that post

Last night I dreamt I was at a cafe with ESOJ and Aero, we were just sitting around chatting, then Aero leant over and quietly muttered to me "I'm just about to invite Peter Jackson over to the table and I'd like to talk shop with him. Just play it cool ok, he hates people being fanboys at him".

So there we all are sitting at a table with fuckin Peter Jackson. Then suddenly some other random lady who is there pipes up with "excuse me, Mr Jackson?" and proceeds to ask him the most cringe inducing, inane gossip-mag question ever (I forget what it was but something like "if you could choose between chips and mash which one would Frodo eat?" or whatever).

The next thing I know, Peter Jackson is over the other side of the room, sitting at a table on his own finishing his soup with a scowl on his face, and Aero is Not Very Pleased.

Not a dream, but i was half consciously reading the ask raccoon tanuki thread and someone made a comment about david cameron and i thought, oh yeah, i read about raccoon tanuki dedicating a song to david cameron. Was confusing him with ed sheeran.

dreamt that i was on an unreasonably large and wide commercial airplane -- people were constantly milling about -- and was sitting next to my bloody valentine. ned and branwell bell were also there, separately, because they were stalking mbv; bb wore sunglasses the whole time in an effort to be incognito

googe and butcher told me that mbv were working on three different collaborations and already had demos recorded: one with kraftwerk, one with stereolab, and one with a guy who claimed to be the descendent of owain glyndwr and thus the legitimate ruler of wales

I'd believe the entirety of this story.

Hahaha, that's actually quite funny, considering my IRL interactions with Kevin (quite the reverse of stalking).

I came here to post that I had another dream about having sex with an ILX0r (different one this time) or rather an ILX0r trying to have sex with me. And realised that the world divides into two groups: people that if you dreamed about having sex with them 1) you never EVER tell them, EVER and 2) the ones you tell immediately and laugh yourselves silly over it.

And I'm trying to figure out what the dividing line is, and I don't know, but I definitely know there is one. (But I guess I also know that there are other ILX0rs who, if they told me they dreamed they had sex with me, I would laugh uproariously with them, and say "OMG what a crazy dream, that's hilarious/wonderful/awesome" and others I would be "I'm calling the police. Now.")

I dreamed that a nebulous British ilxor was playing eighties house records for me. The songs were amazing! I was extremely grateful.

drempt elmo and i were graduating together and when i told him i wasnt going to move to new york after all he got all snippy and was like well fine just enter your contact info into my ipad but when i went to do it i couldnt even remember my name

Ouch.

Treeship and I went to Whoopi Goldberg's birthday party but I didn't bother to bring a gift and I felt like such a shithead at the end when everyone started handing her her gifts, and also there were two ways we could walk home, one was just a normal path where we walked and the other was this weird hang gliding adventure pathwhere we kept getting shot w/ paint balls and he kept being like "dude I don't want to take that path, I just want to walk home normally" and i was like "oh okay" but then kept going on the path where we got shot with paintballs, and he asked like 4 times and I kept saying "yes okay we'll move" and then didn't

basically it was a sad dream abt my inconsiderate and self-centered tendencies (nb: I have a lot of these) and it bummed me out but it was also p funny I guess. Whoopi was p chill.

Treeship and I went to Whoopi Goldberg's birthday party

Such StevieD <3

Man, last night was an all-star doozy. I was having a sort of big rambling BBQ party at my place (well a fictional my place), and I was keeping an eye on Aero's kid who suddenly decided to make a bolt for it and climb the screen door, much to dad's displeasure who plucked him from the door and told him off.

Then, uninvited, my party was gatecrashed by MWhite, Ronan, Gareth and jaymc. MW wanted to start shit and was being menacing.

The hell?

Was in a doctor's office with my wife and daughter. I am completely naked and ran there naked through the streets of the city. We were all waiting for my kid to be called back, but meanwhile we were listening to the office staff argue about the incentive perks that they would get if they performed certain procedures on patients. Like "You said if we {name of procedure] we should have enough points to get a coffee machine!" "When are we going to have enough points to get a tropical vacation?" pplains shows up and explains to me that these people are scientologists. He shows me a magazine article about Scientologist Navojo sand artist named Almovar. Halfway down the page, Almovar replies to PP: "Hello Pleasant Plains, this is "Jackin'" Jackomar! I don't know how I got wrapped up with these Scientologists. They're like what happened when the hippies all got haircuts. I hope this helps!"

I had a dream last night that I was stuck inside the gawker comments section, or else had only ever been a gawker commenter and had never had a physical existence or ability to see outside the internet. I was afraid I'd be "found out" by the others, who would sometimes reference things in their real lives. I don't even comment on gawker irl so this was weird.

lol

Wish I could remember more about my ilx dream from last night. I woke up in the middle of the night and told myself that I'd remember it, but the details are scant.

Old Man Raggett lived in a craftsman bungalow on top of a hill. He wore a big straw hat and overalls. The house had a holographic projection of itself in the front yard.

Last night I had a horrible dream about being chased and repeatedly assaulted by a man who could fly and disappear and nobody believed me. Somehow, in the middle of the most horrible nightmare I've had in ages, Forks showed up and confessed that Sarahell was a sock of his and had been all along. Also, I was apparently the only person who did not know this. Brain, what the hell is wrong with you?!

lollll

Hell of a plot twist there.

it doesn't follow syntactically but i am still imagining forks as the man in the first sentence

The Power Of Nightmares/Adam Curtis [Started by pete b. (pete b.) in October 2004, last updated 39 minutes ago by All The Craigers Gonna Craig Craig Craig Craig Craig (Craigo Boingo) on I Love Everything] 5 new answers
This one's for ENBB [Started by Nathalie (stevienixed) in November 2009, last updated 41 minutes ago by 龜 on I Love Everything] 1 new answer

it doesn't follow syntactically but i am still imagining forks as the man in the first sentence

― nakhchivan, Tuesday, January 27, 2015 2:06 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

great now i'm imagining E being chased by a giant-as-hell fork thanks

last night I dreamt that I meant to send ilx user "bob" some s--ls--k links using the ilxor.com "direct message" function (opened a new panel on the left like twitter) but I accidentally posted them in the main thread and I had to start a mod request forum thread to delete them. after i made my request I thought that I accidentally posted the request in the "ban bob" mod request thread but it turned out that my browser was just displaying the previously thread title from my cache

also our direct message history was all me making twin peaks jokes with "bob"

this isn't recent, but a few months ago I dreamt that I was standing on the lawn of a vast, hilly plantation, talking to some unnamed ilxors as we prepared for a FAP. pretty soon the plantation owner (who happened to be Ned Raggett) drove up to us in his car. his trunk was open and filled with loose papers. "are those your reviews?" I asked Ned. "no, second grade," he said. sure enough, he had saved all of his old second grade schoolwork, and he carried it with him wherever he went. after a minute he drove off toward his mansion and we followed him on foot.

(how's life's dream from December 9 was suspiciously similar to mine, hmmmmm)

ridiculous -- ned doesn't drive

I did not know that!

i dreamt that someone wrote up a profile/story about ilx and part of it was about "ilx's right-wingers" and how they might claim to be liberals but we all know the truth. obv the usual suspects were listed.

darragh, milo z, and myself?

darragh me + contenderizer were the only 3 i remember from the dream but there were def more

I remember a few years back there was some sort of quiz that everybody on ilx took to gauge political tendencies and the furthest right-wing anyone got was about deep-center left.

I had this dream the other night that I was wearing a white linen shirt with this barely visible light-gray pattern on it. It was something nautical like sand-dollars or nautiluses, just repeated in rows and columns, you know? Anyway, as I went through my day I'd spill things on it. Little things. A drop of coffee here coloring one of the sand-dollars, a dot of mustard coloring another. At some point I looked at myself in the mirror and got real excited that I had something to post to the "FUN SHIRTS" thread.

i dreamt that someone wrote up a profile/story about ilx and part of it was about "ilx's right-wingers" and how they might claim to be liberals but we all know the truth. obv the usual suspects were listed.

― Mordy, Wednesday, March 4, 2015 10:59 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

/logs into kinja/

I object, known hooligans etc

My wife and I were visiting the twin cities and on our way to meet up with jjjusten at his store. We reach the top of this huge hill with sporadic patches of snow on it. Mrs. Life decides to grab a sled and slide down. "I'll see you at the bottom," she yells. As soon as she disappears from view, I receive a text message from her: can u shovel the snow? jjjusten is worried that if his sidewalk is too slippery, everyone will shop at the competition, benjamin dutton's.

I think his worry is baseless considering that there really isn't all that much snow, so I keep walking on. I'm chatting with some random local about this as I walk and they're like "Benjamin Dutton's? Are they still around? I haven't been there in years, but it's a local Minneapolis sporting goods institution."

He leads me into this warehouse-like store, where I'm greeted by a Benjamin Dutton's employee. She's a disinterested retirement-aged woman with cat-eye glasses reciting their corporate spiel in a dull monotone. "Welcome to Benjamin Dutton's. All we've really got are these racks of emulators. If you want to try out a pedal, one of our associates can try to figure out what it might sound like if you plugged it into your personal rig."

I think his worry is baseless

lol

I had a dream that underrated a was a DJing a set at my parents old restaurant on Fire Island. Then we went out and partied and did a lot of drugs.

had a good'un a week or so ago, that i wrote down quickly after I woke up from it and before going back to sleep:

A wintry late afternoon in a dark portside London, gulls and the smell of brine. Several separate sets of events that I can't piece together in consecutive order now.

I remember turning up a snicket away from the port (out of an undefined sense of fear of beign on the main street). Dark tarry doors on either side, one of which led into a labyrinthine pubs set across several floors communicated via narrow wooden staircases. On the ground floor young set of men in the pub affecting piratical costumes and manner, as a form of recreation. Further up and on a landing, a set of early middle aged bowler hatted city clerks, would fly across skies and seas like a black cloud of ragged bats - I saw them on the way up, but in fact this bit was revealed by looking in a notebook on the top floor. There were pencil sketches of their tattered flapping nocturnal flights - looked very like Goya, and sinister, and I still have a very clear image of what that looked like, and could draw it if I had the skill.

When I woke up I wrote some notes, and here wrote (in that sort of semi-woken state you have when writing down dreams, that seems to communicate directly from the dream: 'Through their simple Romanticism they opposed the Variations of Beëzlebub and Baal.' I have no idea what that means, and it was more like a dreamed supplementary glossary.

At the very top of the house - and I can't remember whether I saw this or if it was in the notebooks I found, but there was either a dying old woman, or a woman who lived there once. There was a book typeset in a Victorian manner - heavy serif small text, v spacious leading - detailing her life. There was a line drawing at the beginning, lightly coloured. Notes again: 'Through a simple piety (insert tracing paper between picture and page) lived in the attic of the pub and later in life feel in love with an extremely old and decayed man.' There was also a picture of him (when he was younger) - a curious bifurcated picture so that his face was split in terms of expressions - very odd, almost modern. Sombre and slightly smiling.

Later (or before) in the rain I lost my trainers and doubled back and found a church very central and symmetrical in my dream - early romanesque not so baroque. It stood very gloomy and gothic in the rain. I walked up to it - in the words of my dream, describing myself, 'a simple prelate'. My dream-mind chose completely the wrong word - I was not at all high up, but a neophyte of some sort. Found myself dressed in simple white robes. Climbed stairs to an arch high over the ground, with the intention of throwing myself off (no fear or worry, this was just something I was going to do). A churchman appeared behind me and saw my silhouette in the arch against the dark evening rain and sky and called out. This surprised me so that I half turned and fell at the same time, and as I was falling thought as I had been surprised I hadn't really done it right. My last thought was of the absurdity of this thought - literally 'What does it matter you idiot?!' before dashing my brains out on the stone base of a pillar. This was not frightening or nightmarish in any way. Whole dream seemed suffused with melancholy fatalistic gloom that was quite enjoyable.

no ilxors, 4/10

descriptions of pubs ILXors might frequent, 7/10