CAPITAL LETTERS
― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 27 March 2014 15:08 (ten years ago) link
12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY...To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.
13) DON'T BE AN IDIOT...
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 27 March 2014 15:16 (ten years ago) link
That little tab icon is just cracking me up
― Prostitute Farm Online (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 27 March 2014 15:55 (ten years ago) link
ew
― "Jiggle It" - 2 in a Zoo (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 27 March 2014 17:19 (ten years ago) link
http://www.everyjoe.com/2013/07/23/health/men-should-never-perform-cunnilingus/
*takes notes*
― Merdeyeux, Friday, 18 April 2014 12:15 (ten years ago) link
When a man has sex with a woman, his biological material stays within a woman's vagina -- even if a condom is used. While the vagina is self-cleaning, the process to completely cleanse can take months. Do you really want another man's biological material in your mouth? And even if you think you're in a committed relationship, by the time you find out your woman is cheating on you, it'll be too late.
iirc this is why men enjoy their legendary reputation as the reasonable gender
― j., Friday, 18 April 2014 13:20 (ten years ago) link
A recent study points to the fact that men feel the need to perform oral sex on a woman in an attempt to keep the woman from straying. And while this strategy may be successful in the short-term, it will ultimately end up being a failure. If a woman falls in love with your tongue, it's only a matter of time before she falls out of love with you. Thus, it's better to find a female who loves you for a sustainable reason -- such as your mind or your penis.
p sure this actual trolling
― gbx, Friday, 18 April 2014 15:24 (ten years ago) link
lol that's amazing.
― djenter the dragon? (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 18 April 2014 15:28 (ten years ago) link
look for a penis that is also compostable
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Friday, 18 April 2014 15:41 (ten years ago) link
While the vagina is self-cleaning
Self-clowning vagina
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Friday, 18 April 2014 15:42 (ten years ago) link
Even if you're a master swordsman, your penis can't compete with your tongue in terms of creating clitoral stimulation. Why? The amount of stimulation cunnilingus provides is unnatural. Think about it: If the clitoris was meant to receive that much direct stimulation, Mother Nature would have placed it within the vaginal walls instead of on the periphery.
Sometimes I want to find ridiculous things ridiculous but I'm just too consumed by hate.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Friday, 18 April 2014 16:03 (ten years ago) link
Just say "Women don't deserve pleasure" for all 10 reasons and be done with it.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Friday, 18 April 2014 16:04 (ten years ago) link
wondering if any good advice has ever followed the words "think about it"
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Friday, 18 April 2014 16:21 (ten years ago) link
jesus h
― purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 18 April 2014 17:16 (ten years ago) link
9 Reasons Why N0@h Gull1v3r Will Never Get a Blowjob Again, Ever
― djenter the dragon? (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 18 April 2014 17:19 (ten years ago) link
IT'S UNNATURAL. WOMEN'S PLEASURE IS UNNATURAL. So if they want it, they're bad women! Not only "bad" in conduct, but literally bad at being womanly. I just
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Friday, 18 April 2014 17:37 (ten years ago) link
the naturalistic phallocracy
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Friday, 18 April 2014 17:45 (ten years ago) link
I'm already at hair-trigger stage today from watching Jameis Winston's attorney say "Sexual assault is a vicious crime, but the only thing that's equally vicious is a false allegation" and screaming at my computer.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Friday, 18 April 2014 17:47 (ten years ago) link
These guys are confused as hell--so we helped them sort things out.
https://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-things-drive-men-completely-insane-being-married-143700041.html
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 18 April 2014 18:24 (ten years ago) link
for posterity, fellas:
1. you'll get cancer2. you'll get a face-std3. you'll get a face-yeast-infection and die4. you are so close to butt, you'll get cholera5. you'll eat cum. maybe another dude's.6. she will like it more than dick7. she will like it more than you in general8. she will dominate you9. she will become a lesbian
― goole, Friday, 18 April 2014 18:39 (ten years ago) link
i think in that order? idk
― goole, Friday, 18 April 2014 18:44 (ten years ago) link
4. Vaginas are dirty and gross.5. Semen is gross but women are also gross so it's fine for them to ingest it. Men otoh are too good.6. Penises are magic lalalalalalalala I can't hear you8. I'm terrified of women.9. I'm terrified of women.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Friday, 18 April 2014 18:59 (ten years ago) link
7. she will like it more than you in general
lmao
― purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 18 April 2014 19:46 (ten years ago) link
kind of a motivating factor to perform the act imo
― a strange man (mh), Friday, 18 April 2014 19:53 (ten years ago) link
to be of use
― Sufjan Cougar Mellencamp (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 18 April 2014 20:04 (ten years ago) link
on this subject, a gay dude (me) wonders: is it normal for straight people to be in a sexual relationship with each other and the guy doesn't go down on the girl? because to my admittedly outsider perspective, that just sounds weird- like I would just assume that eating a woman out was a part of the deal, and that straight guys, as straight guys, would be into eating women out. but apparently it's kind of not always on the menu? how typical is this "no-cunnilingus plz" policy?
― the tune was space, Friday, 18 April 2014 20:34 (ten years ago) link
a "no-cunnilingus policy" does sound weird to me, too. for either partner to have a "no-oral policy" is kind of fucked up imho
― marcos, Friday, 18 April 2014 20:38 (ten years ago) link
I dated a couple women in college that never let me perform on them, but I think that's a whole different issue.
― djenter the dragon? (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 18 April 2014 20:40 (ten years ago) link
I mean I guess I shouldn't sound so normative about this, there are gay men who aren't into anal sex and stuff, so by extension maybe there are straight people who aren't into oral. but it just seems like a basic component of sexual fun is missing here. TMI, but the few times I did have sex with women I went down on them and it was fun!
― the tune was space, Friday, 18 April 2014 20:44 (ten years ago) link
there is no normal
― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 18 April 2014 20:47 (ten years ago) link
you're right, mileage may vary, I shouldn't hold up some standard as if everyone's sexual experience needs to tick off items A through G from the list or its incomplete
it just seems like there's a lot of stigma and mystification attached to women's orgasms in this culture and so I'd hope that more people would try out more stuff to figure out what they want, and I would hope that people would feel like they could talk about what they want, but that's where gender standards make it maybe harder to do that. but I'm speculating here . . .
― the tune was space, Friday, 18 April 2014 20:52 (ten years ago) link
based entirely on anecdotal evidence it's my experience that cunnilingus is pretty culturally pervasive in 2014. i'm sure it's not unanimous.
― Mordy , Friday, 18 April 2014 20:57 (ten years ago) link
yeah I'd agree w that. same could be said for fellatio too probably.
― How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 18 April 2014 20:59 (ten years ago) link
I had never heard of a no-cunnilingus policy until I saw that ep of the Sopranos where Junior beats up his girlfriend for telling all the mafia wives about it.
― how's life, Friday, 18 April 2014 21:48 (ten years ago) link
There are definitely cultural pockets, often patriarchal, where it has some stigma or association (I remember this article making the rounds a few years back: http://newblackman.blogspot.com/2012/08/lil-wayne-and-new-politics-of.html). Also, women feeling self-conscious about their bodies is very much a thing, at least among some women I've dated or have spoken with about the topic.
There's never been a commercial industry telling men that their genitals are dirty and need to be flushed out or scented or w/e, either.
― a strange man (mh), Saturday, 19 April 2014 02:22 (ten years ago) link
what I'm saying is, this really is just another aspect of the lysol douche thread
presumably the 21st century equality we will reach here will be axe douche for men
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Saturday, 19 April 2014 04:36 (ten years ago) link
A he-man batch o magazine ads featuring dudes self conscious about the smell o their sacks
― Sufjan Cougar Mellencamp (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 19 April 2014 04:39 (ten years ago) link
http://explosm.net/comics/3167/
― a lot of really bad records changed my life (staggerlee), Monday, 7 July 2014 03:23 (nine years ago) link
http://dontpaniconline.com/magazine/radar/the-sad-world-of-the-dan-bilzerian-fanboy
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 12 August 2014 16:51 (nine years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/gJvsAQ6.jpg
― 龜, Sunday, 14 September 2014 22:55 (nine years ago) link
http://wildernesscollective.com/manternship/
The successful applicant will:-be averse to complaining-be able to ride an off-road motorcycle very swiftly, two-up*-know how to backup a 24′ trailer down a steep mountain road-be an experienced outdoorsman-exhibit a deep passion for cleaning and organizing camping gear-be a skilled conversationalist & storyteller-possess strong mechanical field repair skills-be a resourceful improvisor-reside in Los Angeles-be an overall beast of burden-not assume internships lead to employment-be a specialist in GSDDuration:-March 1 – June 18Compensation:-you will join 3+ official WC trips this spring-you will get fed on these trips*NO guarantee you will be riding a motorcycle on ANY of the aforementioned trips
-be averse to complaining
-be able to ride an off-road motorcycle very swiftly, two-up*
-know how to backup a 24′ trailer down a steep mountain road
-be an experienced outdoorsman
-exhibit a deep passion for cleaning and organizing camping gear
-be a skilled conversationalist & storyteller
-possess strong mechanical field repair skills
-be a resourceful improvisor
-reside in Los Angeles
-be an overall beast of burden
-not assume internships lead to employment
-be a specialist in GSD
Duration:
-March 1 – June 18
Compensation:
-you will join 3+ official WC trips this spring
-you will get fed on these trips
*NO guarantee you will be riding a motorcycle on ANY of the aforementioned trips
― Number None, Monday, 16 February 2015 23:52 (nine years ago) link
a specialist in German Shepherd Dogs?
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Tuesday, 17 February 2015 00:15 (nine years ago) link
this sounds like a sex thing
― stately, plump buck angel (silby), Tuesday, 17 February 2015 00:59 (nine years ago) link
in all srsness the "adequate man" series on deadspin is really great
― goole, Tuesday, 17 February 2015 17:52 (nine years ago) link
http://adequateman.deadspin.com
esp. the ones by lily benson
― goole, Tuesday, 17 February 2015 17:53 (nine years ago) link
very swiftly
― j., Tuesday, 17 February 2015 18:18 (nine years ago) link
I concur, adequate man is good
― mh, Tuesday, 17 February 2015 20:09 (nine years ago) link
wtf so in order to be a man I have to have OCD?
― "Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Tuesday, 17 February 2015 20:11 (nine years ago) link
that sounds like one of the least mannish man traits of the v mannish men I know their tents smell like feet that have had bad thought for decades
― local eire man (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 February 2015 20:12 (nine years ago) link