Although that last one was typed, so I think autocorrect is half to blame.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Monday, 3 February 2014 23:42 (ten years ago) link
zebek...zebekistan...uzistan...or whatever
I love this. Giggling like a spaz here.
― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Tuesday, 4 February 2014 05:44 (ten years ago) link
recently my office was gathered for the announcement that a guy was leaving which led to a colleague giving an impromptu testimonial wherein he described the guy as having been "a real detriment to the company" there was a brief moment of silence before everyone burst out laughing while he tried to forge on can only think he'd wanted to say...asset?
― conrad, Tuesday, 4 February 2014 11:27 (ten years ago) link
Aw man, the impromptu testimonial speech is definitely the moment of heat, too
― Karl Malone, Tuesday, 4 February 2014 12:57 (ten years ago) link
the best thing since frybreadhttp://www.manlykitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/indian_taco.jpg
― Dan I., Tuesday, 4 February 2014 14:45 (ten years ago) link
Colleague: How's the French Onion Soup you're making going?Me: I camarelised.... CA-RA-MAH-lised the onions last night.
― doglato dozzy (dog latin), Friday, 14 February 2014 10:51 (ten years ago) link
someone mentioned the movie bruce almighty and someone else said something about steve carrell and a funny scene from one of his movies and someone else said "was it in 40 years a virgin?"
― conrad, Monday, 24 February 2014 11:58 (ten years ago) link
reminds me when my younger brother bawled "VAGINA!" at my nan, during a parlour game that involved naming things - in this case "body parts" - beginning with a specified letter.
my nan said "yes dear, I suppose it is" which was about right.
― Fizzles, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 21:25 (ten years ago) link
wasn't really in thread premise tho. man at developers I was visiting today said "exackerbated" surely as a joke earlier. not at all in the heat of the moment. must've been a joke.
― Fizzles, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 21:26 (ten years ago) link
I once tried so hard to not office-speak "going forwards" that I said "from this moment on" instead like I'm gandalf.
― he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up (NotEnough), Thursday, 27 February 2014 07:29 (ten years ago) link
http://youtu.be/P8pnnVwcPUU
― eats, roots, manuvas (S-), Sunday, 2 March 2014 03:48 (ten years ago) link
"excavator" pronounced "esscavator," about a hundred times in the last week
― boxall, Sunday, 2 March 2014 04:21 (ten years ago) link
My wife said on several recent occasions that my son's school participated in the International Bachelorette program.
― Spaghetti Sauce Shampoo (Moodles), Sunday, 2 March 2014 05:17 (ten years ago) link
"Yeah, it's not exactly rocket surgery."
― circa1916, Saturday, 15 March 2014 21:40 (ten years ago) link
"rocket surgery"
About 338,000 results (0.26 seconds)
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 15 March 2014 21:48 (ten years ago) link
WW starts out as a disenchanted immaculated suburban guy working a job he's overqualified for while confronted with very real 21st c problems & ends up takes this really wild ride
― °ᄋ๐ْ ° (gr8080) , Tuesday, March 25, 2014 1:08 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― every moser (wins), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 13:13 (ten years ago) link
I once had an angry client complain "How can you make such a mistake, it's not rocket salad!" and I laughed, thinking she'd made it up as a joke to take the heat out of the situation, but it turned out she hadn't and that's what she thought it was, and I was just laughing at her getting angry and it made her more angry.
― 1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 13:43 (ten years ago) link
About 1,190,000 results (0.33 seconds) Search Results
Images for "rocket salad" - Report images
― eats, roots, manuvas (S-), Wednesday, 26 March 2014 03:01 (ten years ago) link
when someone commits a leafy vegetable error in the heat of ilx, document it here
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 26 March 2014 04:35 (ten years ago) link
how dare actors cash in? how dare they! please all actors upload the high standards of your audience. for shame!
― djenter the dragon? (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, June 5, 2014 5:01 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― mikelovestfu (wins), Thursday, 5 June 2014 16:12 (ten years ago) link
turning myself in: i always say "deplete the purpose" instead of "defeat the purpose" and then spend the next few seconds trying to remember what i was supposed to say, often to no avail
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 6 September 2014 04:51 (nine years ago) link
also mix up "persecute" and "prosecute" all the time
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 6 September 2014 04:52 (nine years ago) link
always confuse my dinner with andre with that movie about the pet seal
pefeat the durpose
― clouds, Saturday, 6 September 2014 22:48 (nine years ago) link
Also turning myself in, in reverse: for some reason I always assumed "moreish" meant trendy, of-the-now, or sophisticated in a kinda gauche sense. So when I asked for a second packet of peanuts in a bar and the woman behind the bar said she found peanuts moreish, I was puzzled and then laughing about this with my friends: haha she thinks moreish means something you want more of. Turns out that's what it means. Guess I confused it with modish, maybe.
― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 7 September 2014 02:05 (nine years ago) link
'Deliberate' becomes 'debilitate' with me.
― monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Sunday, 7 September 2014 03:15 (nine years ago) link
Co-worker: 'who's doing task X?'Me: 'Russ*l, N*t and me'CW: 'that's great threesome if you'll excuse the pun'
.....what pun?
― Fine Toothcomb (sonofstan), Sunday, 7 September 2014 06:43 (nine years ago) link
i always say prostate for prostrate
― difficult listening hour, Sunday, 7 September 2014 08:46 (nine years ago) link
people always say no pun intended when there was in fact no pun! annoying!
― flatizza (harbl), Sunday, 7 September 2014 13:00 (nine years ago) link
or maybe they mean none was intended and they were successful at not doing what they did not intend to do so they are announcing it. i did not use a pun, and no pun was intended.
― flatizza (harbl), Sunday, 7 September 2014 13:01 (nine years ago) link
I accidentally said "I pledge allegiance to the plag" the other day
― when you call my name it's like a prickly pear (Crabbits), Sunday, 7 September 2014 19:19 (nine years ago) link
I always say 'debilitating'instead of 'deliberating'
― monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Sunday, 7 September 2014 04:13 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Argh wrong thread
― smithery loves cuntery (wins), Monday, 8 September 2014 06:20 (nine years ago) link
just said "clinical error" instead of "clerical error" i do this often
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 15 November 2014 08:54 (nine years ago) link
listen don't put a guilt conscience on me
― Karl Malone, Tuesday, 14 April 2015 18:41 (nine years ago) link
this happens to me every day because i work with non-native speakers but my favorite one is self-steam because of how true it is.
― groundless round (La Lechera), Tuesday, 14 April 2015 18:51 (nine years ago) link
hahaha, love that
― Karl Malone, Tuesday, 14 April 2015 18:51 (nine years ago) link
Last night I said "when pinch comes to shove" :/
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Tuesday, 14 April 2015 22:09 (nine years ago) link
Stop by later, I have to show you something. I found some golden gems in there.
― Karl Malone, Tuesday, 21 April 2015 15:37 (nine years ago) link
i accidentally said "barely manilow" the other day and got excited, until i discovered a tribute act already exists by that name :(
― truvada mangano (clouds), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 12:31 (nine years ago) link
That's a good one. My favourite was a Burt Bacharach tribute called Burt Backing-Tracks
― but then again, who really cares? I don’t. (dog latin), Wednesday, 22 April 2015 13:34 (nine years ago) link
they're gonna have a hard time finding a movie that TUOMAS MADE UP...(in his self conscious)
― Ballistic, Tuesday, March 2, 2010 2:16 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― nults of 2 ppl don't amount to a will have beens in this crazy (wins), Sunday, 26 April 2015 02:35 (nine years ago) link
"given up the goose"
― the siteban for the hilarious 'lbzc' dom ips (wins), Saturday, 12 September 2015 11:39 (eight years ago) link
i want to make sure this isn't just a one...one-on meeting...
― 1996 ball boy (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 16 September 2015 17:21 (eight years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s7TCuCpB5c
― Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 16 September 2015 17:29 (eight years ago) link
I said purse-clutching instead of pearl-clutching just now, oops
It's a shit phrase anyway but
― the siteban for the hilarious 'lbzc' dom ips (wins), Sunday, 20 September 2015 16:20 (eight years ago) link
"This is the most difficult part and the part that involves the most hair-wringing' *makes pulling motion*
― ljubljana, Thursday, 5 November 2015 15:12 (eight years ago) link
'ya got any tea and flick medicine?'
― scarlett bohansson (unregistered), Friday, 20 November 2015 01:33 (eight years ago) link
"Her credentials are unimpeccable - in every sense of the word"
― Kevin Ageusia Smith (wins), Tuesday, 19 April 2016 12:29 (eight years ago) link
haha that's great
― bernard snowy, Tuesday, 19 April 2016 12:53 (eight years ago) link
they cannot be impecked
― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 19 April 2016 14:40 (eight years ago) link