"Jon Lovitz:
"I'll tell you a story about Phil. You know, we do that sketch Jim Downey wrote, 'Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein.' So they did it once where it was like a talk show and Nora Dunn was doing the 'Pat Stevens Show' with Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein. And Phil is Frankenstein and all of a sudden he starts laughing, right, like he just completely broke up -- ha ha, you know, he laughed out loud. And then he stopped.
"And then about fifteen seconds later, he just completely lost it. So then of course we all started laughing, because he's just losing it. And I'm thinking, 'What is he doing? We're on live television. It's not the Groundlings.' . . . So afterward I asked him, I said, 'What happened? What was so funny?' So he said, well, he was sitting there as Frankenstein and something happened, and thinking about how silly the sketch was, you know, just the idea of it made him laugh all of a sudden. So he started laughing. And then he stopped, right? And then, he said, he was sitting there thinking how funny it must have looked to see Frankenstein laugh like that. And then that just made him like lose it."
-- Rickey Wright (rrricke...), September 8th, 2005.
That's a great bit - "Succinctly Speaking"
Host: Tonight's topic -- fire. Tarzan?
Tarzan: Fire good.
Host: Tonto?
Tonto: Fire good, keemosabe.
Host: Frankenstein?
Frankenstein: fire BAAAAD!!!!
― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 8 September 2005 02:36 (eighteen years ago) link
Hartman grew up in Connecticut and L.A., where he pursued a career in graphic art. (Hartman designed several album covers, including Steely Dan's Aja, as well as a logo for Crosby, Stills and Nash.)
from http://www.laweekly.com/ink/98/28/tv-shulman.php
Now, I can'ty find that fact about Aja anywhere else. Is it true??
― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 8 September 2005 02:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:09 (eighteen years ago) link
― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:16 (eighteen years ago) link
― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:23 (eighteen years ago) link
haha YES
― renegade bus (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link
Belushi has a sketch like this, too, where he's dressed like an old man with a cane, surveying the graves of his SNL cast members. He says something like, "Pity.. I always thought I'd be the first to go."
Both of them were shot on actual film, too, and weren't performed in front of an audience, so (appropriately, it turns out) there's no laughter.
― poortheatre (poortheatre), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link
Cooking with The Anal Retentive Chef
Gene ... Phil Hartman
[open on the Anal Retentive Chef's tidy kitchen]
Gene: Hello! And welcome to "The Anal Retentive Chef"! I'm Gene. Today, we're going to be making Pepper Steak. Now, you're going to need: one large bell pepper, three onions, exactly two inches in diameter, and 17 1/3 ounces of lean beef cut into 43 pieces. Okay, let's get started. Now, I've already cut up my bell pepper. Look at this. [holds up bowl] Isn't this nice? See how all the pieces are the same size? People try to tell you that the secret to Pepper Steak is the seasoning - but we know differently, don't we? Uh-huh. It's getting all the pieces the same size. And that's what I've done here. Beauti ... uh-oh! [pulls out piece of pepper] This one's a little bigger than the rest, so we'll just discard that one. [pulls out another piece] And I don't think this little wrinkly one belongs in here. [pulls out another] And this ... well, I just don't like the look of that one at all. Alright, as a matter of fact, why don't we just start over and throw this out? [places bowl on counter]
And how do we throw things out? Okay. We take our paper towel, two pieces, unbroken, lay it out neatly, dump the refuse inside, arranged neatly ... [assembles the garbage] ... let's take these little nasties we separated earlier, put that back ... fold over carefully, making sure the corners are square ... and ... we take a piece of aluminum foil, and we place our refuse onto the foil, and fold over very carefully - this way, it won't leak onto the other garbage. Aluminum foil is such a miracle product! It's really an extraordinary product. Alright, and then we take a brown, paper sandwich bag ... [opens bag] ...place the refuse inside ... [drops it in] ...and ... oh no, this bag is torn.. [looks around] Well ... no, that's alright. We'll just fold over, and no one will see. We'll fold it over twice to be careful ... then we get our tape. [grabs tape, which is naturally covered in a cozy] And, we tape it shut - be very careful to center the tape on the bag. I like to keep my tape dispenser right here on the counter. There we go! [holds up bag] All ready for the trash. Now that's some garbage you can live with! [laughs] Alright, I noticed some of you were admiring my tape dispenser cozy. Isn't that pretty? I made it myself, out of toothpicks, felt, plain old buckroom, a couple of pearl buttons and some eyelets. Now, isn't that better than looking at an old tape dispenser? I think so! Alright. Let's set this over here. [places tape dispenser onto the counter next to the sink, behind him]
Okay, where were we? We were going to dice the bell pepper. But ... oh ... [thinking] ... so, we're going to need our chopping block ... [pulls it out] But we can't put that down, because there's some water there from the bell pepper, so let's clean that up. As a matter of fact, this stovetop could use a lick and a promise while we're at it! So, how do we clean? We take our bucket ... but, first, let's remove the food products, because we don't want to get any caustic substances on the food, of course. [places food products on the counter next to the sink, behind him] Place these neatly in the background - this floor will be cleaned later. Okay, so we're ready to clean. [pulls up mop bucket] We've got our glove, to protect us - we don't want to ruin our manicure. And we've got a clean white cloth, and abrasive cleanser - none of that non-abrasive cleanser for us, it's good old-fashioned cleanser. That'll get us started, I think I'll clean these cabinets while I'm at it. And, oh! Look at this. [points to the stove] Aluminum foil is filthy! I'm going to have to replace that. So, we might as well pull that up right now. [closing music starts up] I don't when I cleaned that up last, I'd hate to think. And, God knows what those mopboards look like. But! We start at the top, and clean down, so as not to drip ...
Announcer: This has been "Cooking With The Anal Retentive Chef".
― renegade bus (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― k/l (Ken L), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:16 (eighteen years ago) link
― poortheatre (poortheatre), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:21 (eighteen years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:24 (eighteen years ago) link
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0500148/
And its avail on DVD? I must have this. :D
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:25 (eighteen years ago) link
"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS JOHN LENNON...AND YOU TOO, ELVIS!"
― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:28 (eighteen years ago) link
― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:29 (eighteen years ago) link
― joseph (joseph), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:40 (eighteen years ago) link
― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:46 (eighteen years ago) link
― oops (Oops), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:58 (eighteen years ago) link
"I'm just a caveman. I fell in some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me!"(followed by elaborate legal argument)
For me it's a three way tie between Phil Hartman, Eddie Murphy and Dana Carvey with regards to my all-time favourite cast member. He was also spectacular as Bill McNeal on "News Radio".
― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Thursday, 8 September 2005 07:37 (eighteen years ago) link
― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 8 September 2005 09:05 (eighteen years ago) link
Gaw'bless old TV shows surfacig on DVD, to save shmos like me who dont have cable and whose country's free to air TV both blows AND sucks.
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 09:10 (eighteen years ago) link
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/92/92jsexontape.phtml
― weather1ngda1eson (Brian), Thursday, 8 September 2005 09:35 (eighteen years ago) link
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:33 (eighteen years ago) link
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:35 (eighteen years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:46 (eighteen years ago) link
"Back in the early days of radio, all they had were jungle drums beating the rhythmic message of traffic and weather from village to village, but did they complain?"
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:48 (eighteen years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:49 (eighteen years ago) link
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
Hi. I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot."
Hi. I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such public service videos as "Designated Drivers, the Lifesaving Nerds" and "Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness."
My good looks paid for that pool, and my talent filled it with water.
Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure, your future uncle.Lisa: Hi. I remember you from such filmstrips as Locker Room Towel Fight: the Blinding of Larry Driscoll.Troy McClure: You know, I was one of the first to speak out against horseplay.
Selma: But ... don't you love me?Troy McClure: Sure I do! Like I love Fresca. Isn't that enough? The only difference between our marriage and any one else's is: we know ours is a sham.
Parker: Troy! Mac Parker. Ever hear of Planet of the Apes?Troy McClure: Uh ... the movie or the planet?Parker: The brand-new multimillion dollar musical. And you are starring ... as the human.Troy McClure: It's the part I was born to play, baby!
Troy McClure: Hi. I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such celebrity funerals as "Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye" and "Shemp Howard, Today We Mourn A Stooge."
― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:51 (eighteen years ago) link
Oh my god, I was wrongIt was Earth all alongYou finally made a monkey(Yes we finally made a monkey)You finally made a monkey out of me.
― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:01 (eighteen years ago) link
― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:03 (eighteen years ago) link
― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:08 (eighteen years ago) link
― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:09 (eighteen years ago) link
― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:11 (eighteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:12 (eighteen years ago) link
― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:13 (eighteen years ago) link
― brianiac (briania), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:19 (eighteen years ago) link
― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:20 (eighteen years ago) link
― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:35 (eighteen years ago) link
― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:37 (eighteen years ago) link
― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:38 (eighteen years ago) link
"Someone's in the kitchen with Bob Dole... someone's in the kitchen with Bob Dole... someone's in the kitchen with Bob... that's really all I have right now... say, do you know if Bob Dole cooks?"
― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:38 (eighteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:39 (eighteen years ago) link
― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:40 (eighteen years ago) link
― oops (Oops), Thursday, 8 September 2005 15:55 (eighteen years ago) link
-- Dr. Glen Y. Abreu (dr_...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005 4:17 PM. (dr g) (link)
― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 15:59 (eighteen years ago) link
And that "This is one of those things we'll never know the full truth of" line is still one of my favorites.
― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:15 (eighteen years ago) link
This way to the cafeteria!
― Phil Hartman, also the king of cameos (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:19 (eighteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:20 (eighteen years ago) link
[At a crime scene where five cheerleaders have been turned into a "human shish-kebob"] Photographer: This must be the act of a maniac. Reporter: Either that, or a very large chef.
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:34 (eighteen years ago) link
Here's those SNL Change Bank ads with Downey they go on at length about. Hartman's in the second one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXDxNCzUspM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KodqIPMbyUg
― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 19:37 (seven months ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0w2R2JvZ7U
"She gave me several options"
― Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 21:07 (seven months ago) link
Here's that hostage sketch Downey was enthusing about:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8PLGXHW5gY
and the follow-up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1ZyffcKxu0
― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 21:27 (seven months ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEtrT3E4vb8
― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 22:31 (seven months ago) link