Why doesn't everyone in the world want to shag Shayne Carter?

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oh hamish... he's got his shirt off in that vid. phwoor! i have almost every Shayne Carter videoclip ever made, on videos labelled "Shayne Carter's Love Cushions: Volumes 1, 2 and 3." it has everything from "The Others Way" and "Needles and Plastic" to "Evolution" and "randolph's Going Home".

Oh and guess what my teddy bear's name is.

see i am more in love with shayne than you are. but i'll let you be vice-president of the fan-club.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh thanks i'll have to borrow the video off you sometime. i haven't seen "needles and plastic" either.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh and guess what my teddy bear's name is.

Gasp! So you get to sleep with Shayne every night then?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

easy Hamish, just call your duvet Shayne Carter.

I think I need to see these videos too

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I most certainly do. I bet you didn't know that the man responsible for such gems as "Needles and Plastic" was in real life a purple care-bear.

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Is Shayne Carter the pin-up boy from Flying Nun? Can a meaningful relationship be had with him, or is it all about sheer desire? Have I seen him live once? (Yes I have, with the Fits in 1993.) Can Brian do a spot-on imitation of him lisping the chorus to "She Screams"? (Yes he can.) Shayne Carter, ladies and gents! The man who will forever be known as the guy who sometimes collaborates with Alastair Galbraith.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

damn right, when we've all forgotten what he looks like he'll only be remembered for his guest appearances on the second and third Alastair Galbraith albums.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Are you trying to tell me, Ned, that i can't have a meaningful relationship with my teddy bear? I'll show you! My teddy bear has feelings, he bleeds just like anyone else.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

When I was a fresher, I went to a Shayne Carter gig at Arc. Shayne was quite rude to the audience and straight off first thing he said that he "wasnt fucken gonna play 'she speeds'". Nobody had even asked him to.

― rainy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes rainy thats a good reason why some people might not want to shag Shayne Carter. My desire is based on the fact that i've never met him.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I really don't like teh way Shayne is spelt with a y, it seems somehow wrong, tarting up a good panelbeater's name like that.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Does anyone know when Shayne's book is soming out?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Its a response to Matthew Bannister's "Positively George Street", not Madonna's "Sex".

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wish he would put poetry and musings in it like Jewel. maybe I could get one for the coffee table

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i have heard from many rports that shayne is an egotistical arrogant self-centred prat. that just makes me want him more.

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

he said his book would have less lyrics in it than Matthew's so we won't get to see his beautiful teenangst lines in print. Whats everyone's favourite Shayne Carter lyric?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"her speeding and her freedom's what's appealing to me to stop her in her tracks"

I don't like the lyric in "Hail" about heads exploding. otherwise, i love that song.

― Shayne's Sex Slave, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

just wanted to post so I could sign off

― Shayne's bit on the side, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

how could you menelaus? i thought we were friends!

― The Mother Of Shayne's Children, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

bye Menelaus. i'm stuck at the computers for a few more hours 'cos i'm trying to do some actual work (haha).

How about "My Gibson whispers nothing to me?" That one elways cracks me up.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

no, no! i am not leaving, I ws just signing that particular post with a phrase to inspire Di to greater creativity.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

what song is that from hamish? which album etc?

― The Woman Who Will Be Holding Shayne Carter's Hand As He Breathes His Dying Brea, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

it was Quiet Come off Melt.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My band got asked to support dimmer.

I play a left-handed SG, just like him. (yeah, so its not my guitar, the point is i play it and its just like his!)

― We Can Be Together In The Afterlife Shayne, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

If I can't have him I will be

― the woman who borrows Duane's van to run Shayne Carter over, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

hey di you know i posted this link to the dimmer webpage don't you? and that this is gonna come up in search engines in ten years time everytime anyone seraches for anything to with him?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have only heard Melt once. didn't he look beautiful in the video of "bad note fpor a heart"? i think he was wearing make-up.

(waits for Shayne's post: "Ewww, I am a manly man, i do nt wear make-up!", to which i reply "You are right, oh man of my dreams, you do not require any enhancement, you are perfection."

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

are you kidding hamish? i am going to the dimmer page to check up on you RIGHT NOW.

― My Love For Shayne Is Nothing To Be Ashamed Of, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Manly man yeah right, hes as faggy as that other closet celebrity Tom Cruise. Face it di and menelaus, neither of you stand a chance - you don't have the required apparatus.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My strap on is bigger than yours hamish

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh okay Mene you win. i'm sure Duane's van will come in useful for the consummation of your relationship with Shayne.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes, and I'll promise not to reverse afterwards

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

just you wait hamish. just you wait

― Shayne's Pre-Op Tranny, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've just been in for a preliminary consultatio for an arsehole transfer. I want everything to be fresh and new for my Shayne

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Why doesn't everyone in the world want to shag Shayne Carter?

Cos who would want to be like us freaks?

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

when they see Shayne Carter they will be powerless to resist.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

hey shayne...lets be cats together.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Shayne do I appear in your dreams and give you an immense feeling of love?

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Question: Does the last name of the ubiquitous Hamish begin and end with an N, perchance? Six letters?

― David Raposa, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

yeah so where do you know our man from daver?
hey hamish couldnt you've said "root" instead of "shag"? that would've been much better.

― duane, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

When Shayne steals my cherry, it'll be LoveMaking, with a capital L. none of your crude vulgarities, duane zarakov, to cheapen my experience.

― Under The Satin Sheets With Shayne In The Candlelight, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I do believe I purchased my copy of the Doublehappys' album from Mr. Hamish back in The Day via the Interweb. He runs a tape label of some sort, yes? Bunch of obscure noisy New Zealand greatness (I'm guessing - haven't heard any of it)? Lots of Greek lettering? The things I remember...

― David Raposa, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I think you are being selfish Di, Duane, Hamih and David, would you care to join me

― Peeking through the windows with a video camera and television crew, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

yeah thats right David. Yeah i sold that record complete with the semi-nude insert - am i still allowed in the fanclub di?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

have you no respect for the sanctity of our marriage, mene?

― Shayne Likes Me Best In French Lace, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

No.

― The Widow Maker, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i don't know hamish. i'm having serious doubts about the authenticity of your fandom.

― Wifey, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Wifey? thoroughly domesticated aren't we?

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i would do anything for that man.

― Yes Master, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Fetch me a cup of coffee woman

― Shayne Carter, in the Physio Lab, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Skipping 123 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Di: no.

― hamish, Thursday, 22 August 2002 04:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

What's wrong with the Jeffries brothers?

― maryann, Thursday, 22 August 2002 05:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

petra jkohn collie was at the quiz night last night and he's not swoonworthy anymore.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 22 August 2002 09:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

But i saw him at the Clean the other month and he was still all dimples and boyish good looks! And he still has a sensible haircut.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 22 August 2002 11:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

three years pass...

this was such a good thread, i'm glad i remembered about it.

― estela (estela), Monday, 31 July 2006 00:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Sweet memories. Now to get back down there (not to shag Shayne Carter, though).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 31 July 2006 00:47 (seventeen years ago) link

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