Rolling 'this is sexist' thread

okay dude's sex chapter is back up now and holy shit is it packed full of "btw NEVER DO THIS" gems

basically the entire chapter revolves around the premise that she owes you some sex and that these are some surefire tips to wear down her resistance and get you the sex you so richly deserve

like, here's the foundation of his thesis (bold copied from the source):

Never, ever, ever, wait for a SIGN before you escalate! You will miss out on the vast majority of chances if you sit around waiting for SIGNS. Men are notoriously bad at reading women's minds and body language. Don't think that you're any different. From now on you must ASSUME that she is attracted to you and wants to be ravished. It's a difference in mindset that makes champs champs and chumps chumps.

mmm, rapey

I mean, there is a tiny amount of mitigating context here, which is that this is supposed to be happening after you've met someone and had at least one successful date with them as opposed to an introductory gambit, but nearly enough to make "From now on you must ASSUME that she is attracted to you and wants to be ravished," a defensible thing to say.

like his entire gambit is "paw at her until she makes you stop", how the hell do you live with yourself after that

"you'll never understand her feelings so fuck her (in all senses)" seems pretty fundamental to The Problem so it's good that he bolded that part

yeah if anything this all seems designed at foreclosing any possibility of emotional (or even sexual) vulnerability. i can almost understand why it might appeal (I presume) to young men just beginning to navigate sexual and romantic relationships because it presumes to mitigate those risks.

champs champs and chumps chumps

if anything this all seems designed at foreclosing any possibility of emotional vulnerability connection with half the human race (or possibly all of it)

(this post brought to you by Pointing out the Obvious Industries, Inc.)

haha yeah its true it sorta elevates that stuff into antisocial pathologies rather than normal anxieties.

wtf my post was supposed to say "but not nearly enough"

the ridiculous claims of censorship make me want to vomit IRL

You: How were your classes today?

Girl: Not bad.

You: Cool. Any plans for the summer?

Girl: Not yet... looks away, disinterested

You (recognizing the situation): You know, this conversation is boring. Let's talk about something more exciting.

Girl: What?

You: Yeah, let's mix it up. Here's a question for you... Why is Japanese porn so weird?

Girl: LOL what? Uh...

You: Seriously, they do the most depraved things ever and then blur out the genitals so it's supposed to be OK or something.

Girl: You know a lot about Japanese porn, dude.

You: Yeah, I was a world-class masturbator when I was 13.

Girl: LOL

You: Hah bet you never thought you'd be discussing my middle school masturbation habits, huh?

Girl: Hah can't say I did.

You: Anyway, walk with me a second, I need to check on something.

I chose this example because I'm a guy who wants girls who are comfortable laughing about topics like porn. I spent time reflecting on the qualities I like in a girl (As listed in the section on Qualifying Women in Part 4) and want to make sure any girl I speak to is okay with that.

"can't say I did"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/29/Leaderhulk.PNG

I am devastated and troubled by the allegations that my book, Above The Game: A Guide to Getting Awesome with Women, promotes rape. That couldn't be further from the truth. A handful of quotes were taken out of context and posted on Tumblr which steamrolled in a game of telephone where hardly anyone bothered to read the original version.

People took advice from a section on "Physical Escalation & Sex" and posted them online. Devoid of context, they appeared to be promoting sexually assaulting women when that wasn't the case at all.

The gist of the controversial advice is "Don't wait for signs before you make your move. Let her be the one who rejects your advances. If she says no, stop immediately and tell her you don't want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. Try again at a later time if appropriate or cease entirely if she is absolutely not interested."

The thing that the commenters on social media are leaving out is that the advice was taken from a section in the guide offering advice on what to do AFTER a man has met a cute girl, gotten her phone number, gone on dates, spent time getting to know her, and now are alone behind closed doors fooling around. If "Don't wait for signs, make the first move" promotes sexual assault, then "Kiss the Girl" from The Little Mermaid was a song about rape.

That cherry-picked advice, without that important context, makes it sound like I am advocating non-consensual sexual advances on strangers. I would absolutely never do such a thing.

In fact there is an entire section on consent that the bloggers conveniently left out to paint me in a poor light:

These are copied verbatim from Above The Game:

IMPORTANT NOTE ON RESISTANCE:

If at any point a girl wants you to stop, she will let you know. If she says "STOP," or "GET AWAY FROM ME," or shoves you away, you know she is not interested. It happens. Stop escalating immediately and say this line:

"No problem. I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with."

Memorize that line. It is your go-to when faced with resistance. Say it genuinely, without presumption. All master seducers are also masters at making women feel comfortable. You'll be no different. If a woman isn't comfortable, take a break and try again later.

Of course if you're really unclear, back off. Better safe than sorry.

---

You understand that honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac.
With great power comes great responsibility. You understand to your core that her heart will be broken if she ever feels manipulated by you. You literally have the power to color all her future interactions with men. As such, you demonstrate supreme desire without a drop of presumption. You make your intentions clear. She will never put you in the friend zone. You approach authentically. You leave her better than when you find her.

---

Additionally, the book contains an entire chapter on sexual assault & rape, preaching men what not to do. Of course no one has seen those parts yet because the book hasn't been released yet.

I realize these are delicate issues, but I ask people to lower their pitchforks until they take the time to hear the full story.

Thank you.

take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later take a break and try again later

I like that he doesn't actually recognize that the phrase Stop escalating immediately and say this line: is intensely problematic in and of itself since it reduces actually caring about crossing someone else's boundaries into a performance process intended to make it easier to make the person have sex with you later.

if a grown woman wants to put her hand on his penis, she knows how to do it and will do it if she wants to. does it get more complicated than that? it's such a particularly strange example.

― free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Thursday, June 20, 2013 11:28 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the whole PUA ideology is built on the assumption that women have no idea what they really want (what they really want is your penis, dear reader)

Squee!

"Reader, I touched his penis."

"Yeah, I'd like to suck on some of that!"

"Follow this advice and soon she will be tripping your nutsack in a frenzy of dikplay."

If at any point a girl wants you to stop, she will let you know. If she says "STOP," or "GET AWAY FROM ME," or shoves you away, you know she is not interested....take a break and try again later

Does the book tell you how long the break should be if she says "GET AWAY FROM ME?" Like, ten minutes, an hour, what?

"If she pepper-sprays you, get a quick eye rinse and regroup. There's always tomorrow!"

This guy reminds me all too much of Tom Cruise in Magnolia.

^Lolz.

Yeah, I mean obviously perseverance is an important trait when you're attempting to woo someone, but only if they've shown any level of interest in you!

Last year, I was at a wedding and we were all fairly inebriated and dancing. There was an attractive, shy girl on the dance floor who was really getting into it. I was interested in meeting her, but I was a bit nervous. At one point, "Bohemian Rhapsody" came on, and about five people in front of me simultaneously put their arms around each other and started swaying.

In an extremely misguided move, likely fueled by the alcohol, I tried to follow suit, and put my arm around her shoulder and started to sway, but she pulled back, and I apologized and walked away. Obviously, I made her feel uncomfortable (and had used very bad judgment), so I apologized and left her alone.

How foolish I was to not realize that I should have just tried again ten minutes later, and then whipped my penis out and made her touch it. If only I had read this book in time.

"Follow this advice and soon she will be tripping your nutsack in a frenzy of dikplay."

― DJP, Thursday, June 20, 2013 4:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

still lolling at this.

one thing that strikes me about the whole PUA phenomenon is that it seems to be as much about men not being able to talk to women as it is about men not being able to to talk to other men about women in a way that isn't totally degrading

I think those two things are related; they're both caused by not seeing women as "neutral" human beings.

the PUA phenomenon is about men who can't think

the thing that kills me about the PUA craze is that on Road Rules: Semester At Sea there was a castmate named Pua and every time I see the acronym, I think of her and wonder if this shit is haunting her

fp

I think they're fine at thinking, their problem is more with feelings and understanding them/acknowledging that other people have them and that they have real meaning for ppl and not just a web of protocols for reaching Point B.

i dunno, this stuff does not betray an thoughtful mind imo

the life of a "pick up artist" seems bleak.

Interstingly, thiswas in my feed from Brain Pickings today.

http://www.singledudetravel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/2607927_f520.jpg

DOES THIS LOOK BLEAK TO YOU

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcROqrni7V0DOl-AeOOxcyyr6-XVysITwiXfvm9Fe_uOsQXVO5OIeg

DOES IT?

http://www.pickupartist2.com/wp-content/uploads/alex-pick-up-artist-2.jpg

DOES IT!?!?

the outfits seem fun. the darwinian view of human social interaction does not seem fun.

Something unsettling about the combo of hat and crazy eyes

women love it though. all women think the same way and they all love that combination of hat and crazy eyes.

the hat says 'I will dominate you' and the crazy eyes say 'forever and EVER and EVER'

poor perry farrell

i'm a straight man and even i am a little turned on by the subtext of that hat and crazy eyes. it's just science.

What's the o/u on if his penis is out?

^potentially good pick up line

it's over if he's under you

Lol