I admire your willingness to share. I silently make various poignant observations, but as a general rule I'm not willing/able to share them with anyone. You're generous! It's nice.
― free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Tuesday, 30 April 2013 20:06 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pldwyvFseFU
i am what they call in the trade reinstated :\
2 days into my bender and contemplating a 3rd - which i don't feel physically capable of, yet, so we'll see
and for what? idiot logic. lonely lonely lonely = set sail on the sea of pubs looking for company, that's gonna run in the other direction as you stagger and drool pissed into view. but that hopeless hope fucks with me.
this is the mechanics of how an addiction cons you.
― we're up all night to get relegated (Noodle Vague), Friday, 3 May 2013 10:25 (eleven years ago) link
:(
― the norman wisdom of gaffers (darraghmac), Friday, 3 May 2013 10:34 (eleven years ago) link
tbh there's few things in (my) life better than feeling sozzled and sorry and listening to maudlin tunes, it's the lack of longterm viability that's the big ish
― we're up all night to get relegated (Noodle Vague), Friday, 3 May 2013 10:36 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6mFF3VmVAs
― we're up all night to get relegated (Noodle Vague), Friday, 3 May 2013 10:47 (eleven years ago) link
dude i can't think of anything positive or supportive to say that isn't despicably banal but all the same you should know that there are folks here that care about you to whatever extent this limited interface allows, and for whatever that might be worth
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 3 May 2013 12:07 (eleven years ago) link
thanks dude. at least i'm having the good sense to stay in today. nothing for it but to shrug and climb back on the wagon, really.
― http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDRdCdW_k3A (Noodle Vague), Friday, 3 May 2013 12:29 (eleven years ago) link
or back in bed. on the third day he rested, after all. and television really is a remarkable thing. spiralli otm.
― controversial vegan pregnancy (contenderizer), Friday, 3 May 2013 12:38 (eleven years ago) link
Do what you can, hit us up and we'll do what we can
― the norman wisdom of gaffers (darraghmac), Friday, 3 May 2013 13:51 (eleven years ago) link
Thinking of you, J. <3
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Friday, 3 May 2013 13:55 (eleven years ago) link
Wolves manager Dean Saunders, following his side's relegation to League One: "Our fans have had three years of pain. I'll be delighted to try and change it for them.
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Saturday, 4 May 2013 16:22 (eleven years ago) link
worst effort at rehab ever
― Rowdy Rathore (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 18:58 (eleven years ago) link
Hey
― al leong the watchtower (darraghmac), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:04 (eleven years ago) link
Oh, I'm sorry NV. Hang in there, we are thinking of you. That sounds so dumb but I don't know what else to say other than what's already been said much more eloquently by others before me.
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:05 (eleven years ago) link
Ive had close experience of much worse fwiw
― al leong the watchtower (darraghmac), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:06 (eleven years ago) link
i'd beat myself up about it but that seems to make the panic attacks worse :/
― Rowdy Rathore (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:06 (eleven years ago) link
torn between feeling really fucking stupid and reassuring myself i'm probably not having a heart attack
― Rowdy Rathore (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:09 (eleven years ago) link
As someone who has had multiple panic attacks weekly over the course of the last two months and nearly took myself to the emergency room a handful of times I can tell you that you are probably not having a heart attack but God I'm sorry you're experiencing a PA right now. Scariest feeling. :/
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:13 (eleven years ago) link
i get them every time i'm hungover E so i know what it is and this was yet another reason to stop doing this to myself
― Rowdy Rathore (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:15 (eleven years ago) link
ME TOO!
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:15 (eleven years ago) link
and of course knowing what they are doesn't make them go away, thanks stupid brain
x-post - Well, not before these last couple months but during that time I had once each time I had the slightest hangover. Turns out that was a huge trigger for me and it did make me cut down my drinking (or at least rethink it) until I start feeling better.
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:16 (eleven years ago) link
No, it doesn't and that's maybe the hardest part for someone who has never had one to understand. You know what it is, you know that you're not actually having a heart attack and yet all your brain can think is OMG GONNA DIE RIGHT NOW AHHHHH. It's just such a fucking awful feeling. :/
― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:17 (eleven years ago) link
i know, at least i'm lucky in that i have the power to not get them this bad if i just keep my fat arse out of pubs
― Rowdy Rathore (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 19:19 (eleven years ago) link
I found you something, maybe you will like it? Or maybe someone will.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:06 (eleven years ago) link
i think i do. i can't take that all in at once - i can't concentrate on reading so good right now - but yes, it speaks to me. it might speak to some of the people on the depression thread too.
thanks :)
unfortunately all i got right now is Nurse With Wound doing - take the verb how one wants - Harold Pinter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gYU-8gLLK4
― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:34 (eleven years ago) link
It would be like having a bunch of dead fish, but no one around you will acknowledge that the fish are dead. Instead, they offer to help you look for the fish or try to help you figure out why they disappeared.
:\
― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:54 (eleven years ago) link
Anhedonia is real! Powerful real, unfortunately.
― free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Thursday, 9 May 2013 16:57 (eleven years ago) link
That's a really good depiction of one aspect of depression.
I wrote a long non-post here on some tenuous pretext of compare/contrast to the blog post but, short version, saw a ghost of my past today, it gave me a faintly disgusted look and we both returned to pretending we weren't in the same room. (Not an ex. Just a reminder of a time long ago before everyone decided I was too snooty to hang out with them when I was actually stuck in dead fish space 24/7, and it's a decade too late and still too painful to tell them, so fuck it, let them be disgusted. Who needs people when they/we are so easily disgusted by each other?)
Self-indulgent. I'm doing OK. Thinking of you, NV. & you, ENBB, too.
― susuwatari teenage riot (a passing spacecadet), Friday, 10 May 2013 23:11 (eleven years ago) link
that is NOT self-indulgent. it is a necessary step to admit those kinds of things and to also contemplate them.
good luck, hon.
― touch fuzzy, get dizzy (boy_slayer), Friday, 10 May 2013 23:17 (eleven years ago) link
We need other ppl, i think, but never as many as you'd be led to believe
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Friday, 10 May 2013 23:19 (eleven years ago) link
that Hyperbole and a Half thing mirrors exactly (corn aside) what a couple of close friends have gone through and one is still going through so it made for tough reading. In some somewhat gross and parasitic way their experiences have made my bluest moments somehow more bearable, in that there's always a small element of really appreciating sometimes being able to feel good feelings, even when I'm not feeling them now.
― ohmigud (Merdeyeux), Friday, 10 May 2013 23:31 (eleven years ago) link
That makes a ton of sense to me. In both being the person with the dead fish and the people trying to help.
― Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Friday, 10 May 2013 23:38 (eleven years ago) link
xxp We probably do need a few. But how to work out which, make them need you back, walk the tightrope between needing them too much and them needing you too much?
Not really breaking new ground with these questions here, I know.
xp Yeah, the strip did make me appreciate that even in my greyest months I could still get small measures of joy from listening to music. I am thankful for that, and for living in an age where I can envelop myself in music without having to play an instrument myself or go out among people or even get up and turn a record over every 20 minutes. I mean that might sound small but given that I could barely summon the energy to read books or even comics, an entirely passive method to transport myself ~out~ was a blessing
― susuwatari teenage riot (a passing spacecadet), Friday, 10 May 2013 23:48 (eleven years ago) link
Sorry, to find out those answers you need to purchase my book
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Friday, 10 May 2013 23:49 (eleven years ago) link
Its a little scribble or two i call THE BIBLE
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Friday, 10 May 2013 23:50 (eleven years ago) link
I gave ten pounds and all I got was a lousy salvation.
the previous Hyperbole and a Half adventure in depression was really good too http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html
― ohmigud (Merdeyeux), Friday, 10 May 2013 23:52 (eleven years ago) link
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/934016_10151377797786875_700404415_n_zps4e1c72d1.jpg
Fitba
― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 May 2013 17:18 (eleven years ago) link
it is horrible but calling my mother just reminds me how fucking glad i am that i am removed from that life
― clouds, Monday, 13 May 2013 15:31 (eleven years ago) link
sorry family, i just don't like you very much. you're trapped in the same cycles of ignorance and pain and i don't think i can change that.
― clouds, Monday, 13 May 2013 15:33 (eleven years ago) link
ultimately you can't carry the responsibility for other people's self-chosen ignorance, and nor should you
went back to work after a fortnight contemplating self-harm, dissolution, disappearance. wish i could carry that hyperbole and a half cartoon around with me. don't want to look like i'm turning my nose up at advice about positive thinking and looking on the bright side and counting my blessings and ahhh please
― the league against cool sports (Noodle Vague), Friday, 17 May 2013 09:59 (eleven years ago) link
ever have one of those dreams where you find your soul-mate and after some kind of wacky adventure you're (re)united and everything is mindbending bliss until you wake up and it evaporates?
those dreams come from the devil
― the league against cool sports (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 18 May 2013 11:40 (eleven years ago) link
Often, usually about people I know. Tragic.
I'm stranded at a legal aid conference atm, hearing all about how government cuts are going to ensure that I'm never going to get a job in my chosen career that I've been working towards for 2 years. Happy Saturday!
Idk about physical self harm though dood, couldn't you just watch YouTube vids of wolves from this season instead?
― Windsor Davies, Saturday, 18 May 2013 13:17 (eleven years ago) link
i'm not going to get to the point of doing anything about it, i'd just been low enough that the idea kept coming back
done with that shit and other people's misguided complaisance now, gonna get my Tao back on
― the league against cool sports (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 18 May 2013 13:36 (eleven years ago) link
sorry this government and every subsequent government are making this country a shithole unfit for civilized people to live in btw :(
― the league against cool sports (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 18 May 2013 13:37 (eleven years ago) link
cupán tao
― boyce lair (darraghmac), Saturday, 18 May 2013 14:42 (eleven years ago) link
7/11 store selling poppers on the counter last night. bizarre and mean. magically headache-free.
― the league against cool sports (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 May 2013 12:35 (eleven years ago) link
question that i am wrestling with. is the world of business/management/careers so twisted that any honest attempt to engage with it is going to crush my brain, or is my brain just too crushed to do deal with this perfectly normal, everyday world?
― Doctor Who's on first (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 June 2013 13:18 (eleven years ago) link
"identify own career and personal goals" is gonna be the rock i perish on, i fear
― Doctor Who's on first (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 June 2013 13:23 (eleven years ago) link
MindTools, Forbes, Swot analysis, personality types, jeezus SB modernity i'll take my chances with Typhus and ratmeat for tea
― Doctor Who's on first (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 June 2013 13:25 (eleven years ago) link