Come anticipate "The Dark Knight Rises" with *BATSPOILERS*

oh sorry Lockout

lol Lockout

Have you seen Escape from NY? Make the location an orbiting penal colony instead of NYC, the person who is stuck is the president's daughter and not the president, and instead of Kurt Russell it's Guy Pearce

that is pretty much the whole plot

the only entertaining moment of Lockout is when the end credits say "based on an original story by Luc Besson"

that guy has so many original stories its crazy

Lockout made me so mad, I was at least expecting it to be entertaining.

"i condemn you to hell, and by hell i mean a big pit i managed to escape from as a child, and a spinal injury that can be healed in a week by some calisthenics and the nurse i've provided."

Bruce was in that prison rehabbing and attempting to escape for something like 5 months

sorry it's been awhile since i saw it, i didn't realize the extremity of the flash-forward. how long were the cops trapped underground then?

same amount of time, during which I believe Bane kept feeding them? it was alluded to in his grand "revolt and take over" speech iirc, I think as a tactic to paint himself as reasonably as possible for a dude who just isolated and took over a major city to make his "rise up and govern yourselves" speech resonate

although really it seemed like what was really happening was that the criminals basically took over and ate the rich while everyone else just hid in their houses and hoped they looked poor enough to ignore

russia iirc

really the relative speed of the revolution was the only thing that made me roll my eyes

what about the relative speed with which batman got from a pit in the middle of nowhere to inside gotham

unless bane forgot to take his wallet

eh

honestly wacky plotholes, tiny or large, in blockbusters are kind of only annoying when you're not otherwise engaged

i feel like these kind of discussions are the saddest result of batman's shift away from giant pennies and feeding bombs to sharks

dude this movie ends with him feeding a bomb to sharks

well now i don't know what to believe

in my script for The Dork Knight...Really?!?! when Batman gets out of the pit and throws down the rope, he then goes to an adjacent payphone to call alfred, using his bat credit card

or maybe i'll have him pull out an iphone and ask siri where he is - seems more topical

"Where am I? And after you've told me, connect me to a giant frickin' bomb disposal company in Gotham..."

I am trying to remember how long Bruce had until the bomb blew up when he got out of the pit; I wanna say a week?

and by the time he gets there, only twelve hours are left?

So that's what was going through his mind as he was flying over the bay...
"Dammit, if only I hadn't stopped off at that roadside diner for a meal on my way back to Gotham, I'd have been able to get rid of this bomb and still had time to fly out of range of the explosion..."

You're here, outside a medieval prison pit in the middle of nowhere. Gotham City is there, on totalitarian lockdown for months. You need American Express Travellers Checks.

given Bane's influence over the prison, I am surprised that the first person he ran into didn't just toss him back in there

That would have been *amazing*.

still don't understand why bane doesnt LOVE batman for killing the man who separated him from his true love, when we find that out his massive all-encompassing anger @ him just becomes nonsensical

and retroactively makes the movie even less care-about-able

and talia's "i hated my father. until one day i didn't and i decided to worship him enough to kill batman in the most convoluted way possible."

"welp i guess today's the day to stop hating my father, guess i have to get revenge now w/e"

it's tempting to do some "TDK did this right, TDKR this wrong" but really it's not a binary so much as a matter of degree. I liked the action bits in that more, the dialogue more, the performances more, but it's not to say it didn't have its share of portentous dialogue and plotholes too

naw there's lots of shit in TDK but it at least had heath ledger and some action scenes that were pretty fun and shot at night

TDKR reminded me of the latter matrix movies where all of the sudden everyone was taking everything way too seriously and expecting you to be invested in dumb story shit no one cared about

IIRC, Talia hated the warlord married to her mother who threw her mother into the jail, not Ra's al-Ghul who was the mercenary who was her real father and came back to liberate everyone from the jail and overthrow the warlord; ergo, her adoration for Ra's and her dedication to his cause is entirely consistent.

honestly ppl, it's okay to dislike a movie without inventing shit about it

why did bane hate batman ANSWER ME THAT

because he betrayed the League of Shadows in Batman Begins and because Talia hated him

lame

eh

this is a movie. if you want your antagonist's hatred of the protagonist to be believable, make the protagonist the guy who ruined his life, NOT THE GUY WHO KILLED THE GUY WHO RUINED HIS LIFE

i don't mean to invent stuff, but when people are trying to recall the logic of a 2.5 hour blockbuster you gotta chalk up some confusion to "the fog of bore"

You're here, outside a medieval prison pit in the middle of nowhere. Gotham City is there, on totalitarian lockdown for months. You need American Express Travellers Checks.

Already taken care of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcukDDDhuYk

oh believe me my ref to the bat credit card was intentional

and his plan to break batman by having him watch news footage of gotham's empty streets was the worst

wish there was a shot of the satellite dish outside the pit

also the worst was how the bad guys in this movie were occupy wall street and the good guys were a street mobbed with angry cops

i don't mean to invent stuff, but when people are trying to recall the logic of a 2.5 hour blockbuster you gotta chalk up some confusion to "the fog of bore"

that is partially my point; it's IMO more reasonable to criticize a movie by saying "I got bored and stopped paying attention" than it is to criticize it for details that you are getting wrong (the converse, praising it for details you are getting wrong, is also unreasonable and one reason I needed to walk back some of my Watchmen praise)

xp: okay lol, the bad guys were not Occupy Wall Street, unless you believe OWS is tricking corporate raiders into bankrolling them

another thing that was the worst was that catwoman started off as being all, rich people are fucking it up for the rest of us and need to be held accountable, and at the end she goes off with a super rich guy to venice and wears a fancy hat

that is partially my point; it's IMO more reasonable to criticize a movie by saying "I got bored and stopped paying attention" than it is to criticize it for details that you are getting wrong (the converse, praising it for details you are getting wrong, is also unreasonable and one reason I needed to walk back some of my Watchmen praise)

the fact that he is getting details wrong IS the criticism itself dont u get it dan

haha well apparently now the idea is that alfred was tripping at the end or something, not that bruce decided to share his secret second life with a hot burglar he barely knew

You're here, outside a medieval prison pit in the middle of nowhere. Gotham City is there, on totalitarian lockdown for months. You need American Express Travellers Checks.

really thought this was going to be the setup for a great Batman text adventure