Come anticipate "The Dark Knight Rises" with *BATSPOILERS*

DJP OTM

i abide by the year one rule that the costume should never be worn during the day.

instead bruce should wear an uncle-sam-on-stilts suit.

seriously, though, i never did see this. did he really wear the costume out in daylight? for shame, nolan. for shame.

cops versus bane's goons was the stupidest thing

^ yes absolutely. either nolan chickened out of showing lines of dead cops, or he really has zero imagination or common sense.

... he showed a ton of dead cops, particularly in the scene with Modine's last stand?

fyi guys, it's apparently easier to pay attention to a movie if you uncross your arms

unarmed men charging bunkered-in dudes with rifles doesn't turn into a big old-west fistfight. it was stupid.

I watched Lockout last night. It was completely brainless but vaguely amusing. Have no idea why Guy Pearce was pretending to be Johnny Depp as the pirate, though.

Have no idea why Guy Pearce was pretending to be Johnny Depp as the pirate, though.

I know nothing about Lockout, but this kind of makes me want to see it.

yeah what is this lockout you speak of. to google!

you will not find it rewarding.

That's the space prison movie, right

I mean, I basically was sold on the movie when Bruce Wayne shot an arrow inches away from Selina Kyle's head, but when she kicked his crutch out from underneath him and slipped out the window it was game over, movie I love you

and when batman got his spine popped back in place by a friendly monk and started doing push-ups for the big climb out of a hole i was like, "movie, i hope you don't catch feelings, this is strictly a one night thing"

ohhh that movie. I remember Mr Veg and getting a lot of lols out of the trailer.

*and I

yeah dan

Lockout was great. So was Ebert's mostly positive review:

I imagine the movie's intended audience will enjoy itself. I enjoyed myself in my own peculiar way. I like to ask myself how real people would feel in a situation like this. If I were sent on Snow's mission, I would be paralyzed by fright most of the time. But then I'm not One Man. I would be dead several times over by the ending of this film. But not to worry. I'm not gonna tell you they parachute to Earth and land in New York City. Nothing like that.

and when batman got his spine popped back in place by a friendly monk and started doing push-ups for the big climb out of a hole i was like, "movie, i hope you don't catch feelings, this is strictly a one night thing"

In the comics, Bruce became a paraplegic and was healed telekinetically by his then girlfriend/therapist as a side-effect of her defeating her stepbrother and going insane, regressing back to childhood and ending up institutionalized.

advantage: movie

Lockout was great

Stfu

that there is a stupider comic really doesn't change anything i wrote

also i can't say that story sounds less exciting than a pit in a faraway land

"i condemn you to hell, and by hell i mean a big pit i managed to escape from as a child, and a spinal injury that can be healed in a week by some calisthenics and the nurse i've provided."

oh wait it was talia that escaped forgot the twist

well same diff, right?

lockout is horrible. don't buy the "die hard on a spaceship" pitch.

Come anticipate "The Dark Knight Rises" with *KNOCKOUTSPOILERS*

oh sorry Lockout

lol Lockout

Have you seen Escape from NY? Make the location an orbiting penal colony instead of NYC, the person who is stuck is the president's daughter and not the president, and instead of Kurt Russell it's Guy Pearce

that is pretty much the whole plot

the only entertaining moment of Lockout is when the end credits say "based on an original story by Luc Besson"

that guy has so many original stories its crazy

Lockout made me so mad, I was at least expecting it to be entertaining.

"i condemn you to hell, and by hell i mean a big pit i managed to escape from as a child, and a spinal injury that can be healed in a week by some calisthenics and the nurse i've provided."

Bruce was in that prison rehabbing and attempting to escape for something like 5 months

sorry it's been awhile since i saw it, i didn't realize the extremity of the flash-forward. how long were the cops trapped underground then?

same amount of time, during which I believe Bane kept feeding them? it was alluded to in his grand "revolt and take over" speech iirc, I think as a tactic to paint himself as reasonably as possible for a dude who just isolated and took over a major city to make his "rise up and govern yourselves" speech resonate

although really it seemed like what was really happening was that the criminals basically took over and ate the rich while everyone else just hid in their houses and hoped they looked poor enough to ignore

russia iirc

really the relative speed of the revolution was the only thing that made me roll my eyes

what about the relative speed with which batman got from a pit in the middle of nowhere to inside gotham

unless bane forgot to take his wallet

eh

honestly wacky plotholes, tiny or large, in blockbusters are kind of only annoying when you're not otherwise engaged

i feel like these kind of discussions are the saddest result of batman's shift away from giant pennies and feeding bombs to sharks

dude this movie ends with him feeding a bomb to sharks

well now i don't know what to believe

in my script for The Dork Knight...Really?!?! when Batman gets out of the pit and throws down the rope, he then goes to an adjacent payphone to call alfred, using his bat credit card

or maybe i'll have him pull out an iphone and ask siri where he is - seems more topical

"Where am I? And after you've told me, connect me to a giant frickin' bomb disposal company in Gotham..."

I am trying to remember how long Bruce had until the bomb blew up when he got out of the pit; I wanna say a week?

and by the time he gets there, only twelve hours are left?

So that's what was going through his mind as he was flying over the bay...
"Dammit, if only I hadn't stopped off at that roadside diner for a meal on my way back to Gotham, I'd have been able to get rid of this bomb and still had time to fly out of range of the explosion..."

You're here, outside a medieval prison pit in the middle of nowhere. Gotham City is there, on totalitarian lockdown for months. You need American Express Travellers Checks.