ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

I have had no trouble finding a stream for Bad Gastein, but, dear me, Cornet v Wickmayer, I can't think of a final I'd like to watch less than psycho bitch Cornet and Whoopeemayer.

(No, Clijsters/Oprandi, no, no).

Only saw the last game. Fed slipped and fell on the grass, real cartoon-like.

Ditto. Crowd looked really into it!

They've only just finished the Edgbaston QFs, lulz.

Why is the Devil Child playing a 25K in France next week instead of Wimbledon qualies? I was anticipating seeing her in person...

oh nalbandian, what an idiot

lol i love him

welp that was inappropriate

That speech might have been the least gracious thing I've ever seen in tennis :o

WHY DO I ALWAYS MISS THINGS

absolute lol @ nalbandian, what the actual fuck?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ2ssjDKWvk

aww poor nalbandian, he didn't mean to hit him, i hope there's a clause in the rules about intent so they don't have to disqualify him!!

lol @ andrew fucking castle

there's no clause, it was an automatic default.

He could have rescued his reputation with a decent apology, it was just a moment of idiocy, but instead he managed to look like even more of a cunt with that astonishingly self-serving "apology".

and it's not just a DQ he should worry about but an actual suspension.

i know lex, i'm just paraphrasing what andrew castle said

saw a photo of the linesman's knee. it is pretty gruesome. can't wait for the speeches to be uploaded :D

man why I am always asleep when these things happen? Oh Nalby, you idiot.

In other hilarious news: http://yfrog.com/ntznmejj

http://a.yfrog.com/img857/5017/znmej.jpg

you guys

http://espn.go.com/tennis/story/_/id/8066649/melanie-oudin-halts-jelena-jankovic-win-rain-delayed-aegon-classic

lol

I wondered whether Jankovic's new low would occur by losing to a GBR WC in her opening round but making it to the final only to lose to Shoedin AGAIN is definitely a more Jankovician way of hitting a new low.

Ugh, though, Oudin seems to actually be back 4 real.

(Meanwhile, Donald Young actually HAS gone and lost to a GBR WC in Eastbourne today. 10th straight loss I think.)

Donald Young is going to give me neck sprain, I spend so much time shaking my damn head at him

And Samantha Stosur just lost to a 251st-ranked qualifier in 's-Hertoeekjfnknddddddklddlkdkldkldkldkldlk HOWEVER YOU TYPE THAT PLACE NAME

'S-HERTOGENBOSCH

We all know about Kvitty's hit-or-miss style...and yeah, that's her game and always will be. But I have wondered so many times this year WHAT she's actually trying to get her strokes under control, especially on big points. Is she trying anything at all? Or is she just going to swing away idiotically forever in the hope that a Peak Pierce style run magically ensues every few years.

COMMENTATOR (brightly): "A lovely day at Devonshire Park today! It's bright, warm..." (Beat.) "Well. Not warm, exactly." (Beat.) "It's...dry. And not that windy."

Oh, British Isles.

Don't know why this didn't occur to me earlier but I just realised the players will be in their national colours instead of traditional white at Wimbledon during the Olympics. That's going to be weird.

Congrats to Roddick for somehow extending his rad streak of seasons with an ATP title.

I don't understand how Tamira Paszek just won a Premier title! It is welcome and all, but she had a 2-13 w/l record this year coming into Eastbourne! She lost to Keothavong last week!

Roddick smh, I hope I don't see anyone bigging up his chances or going on about a return to form following this impressive feat of two retirements and three clay bums.

Excellent use of fourth Slam runner-up trophy, I say: http://twitter.com/maggiemay_hem/status/223108092827672576/photo/1

also, these tweets about CAKE warming up Sampras at an exo are cracking me up:

Beyond The Baseline ‏@SI_BTBaseline

Watching Marion Bartoli give Pete Sampras a workout. ‪#BOTW12

Sampras marveling at Bartoli's swing volleys. "How do u do that?" "U want me to teach u?" He's looking at her like she's a freak of nature.

Bartoli is absolutely crushing her returns, much to Pete's bewilderment/amusement. ‪#BOTW12

Kevin Fischer ‏@Kfish_WTA

When Serena asked Marion if she could hit w/ Pete Sampras instead, "Serena, for once, let me beat you in something. I'm hitting w/ him."

haha, it's not even like Bartoli's volleys are a particularly outstanding area of her game.

Former tennis player Jankovic has just allowed Bratdeweghe to reach the Stanford QF -_-

Donald Young lost another 1R (to Michael Russell, by the scoreLiNa of 1-6 6-1 6-4). 2-16 this year, can't believe he'll be going to the Olympics.

Why is Hewitt in an ATP QF. Stop that immediately.

I'm just laughing at the thought of Bartoli doing her little bunny hop-and-practice swing routine before returning Sampras' serve. She looks so happy too:

http://p.twimg.com/AxkEiJWCEAE4tnI.jpg:large

is it the 12th or 13th loss in a row for Donald Young now? yeesh.

also smh at JJ.

Her SF vs Wickmayer was the first time I've seen Vandeweghe play. She did well. What's the verdict about her game from the regs in this thread who know tennis a hell of a lot better than I do?

Big brainless bashing game, pretty raw even though she's not exactly a junior any more. Started tennis relatively late which could account for some of the rawness but more likely is that she's lazy and unmotivated - she comes from a really rich family (I think her dad or uncle is some mega-famous US sports star). Her results are 90% terrible 1R/2R losses to whomever except in this SoCal swing (she's a SoCal girl herself, I guess she gets somewhat motivated in her home state + the fast courts suit her game).

I really dislike her, she seems like the archetypal spoiled rich bitch - after losing in the US play-off for the AO WC last year to Brodsky, she stormed off court without shaking her opponent's hand. Plus, various kinda awful tweets, eg the one complaining that the first stamp in her new passport would be, ew, Mexico! And complaining about getting busted for parking in a disabled bay.

I hope Serena double bagels her and sends her ass back to Challengers tbh.

Oh, she played Wickmayer. What a fest of likeability that must have been.

lol. ty Lex.

lol spoiled rich bitch has always been how I've pictured Vandeweghe even before i watched her play - her name kind of screams high school mean girl movie villain.

CoCo Vandeweghe ‏@CoCoVandey
I don't know what's more depressing. Spending 5hrs in Houston airport or having my first stamp in my in passport be Mexico.. ‪#tennisproblems‬

smfmh Serena

you better not lose a game from this point on

jesus fucking christ

Serena is going to lose a set to Coco fucking Vandeweghe

hmm maybe Serena heard me yelling at her

I can't watch this match but every tennis fan I follow on Twitter pretty much yelled "HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT SERENA" a few minutes ago and apparently she heard all of you THANK FUCK

FUN FACT Coco's actual name is Colleen.

"Coco" is also Portuguese for "shit", I think.

god coco is a fucking irritance

thank god serena didn't give it a set

serena ties henin, hingis and venus with 43 titles

Nadal's pulled out of the Olympics. :/

saw that, boo

CoCo Vandeweghe ‏@CoCoVandey
I don't know what's more depressing. Spending 5hrs in Houston airport or having my first stamp in my in passport be Mexico.. ‪#tennisproblems‬

― bitch I'm on the 242 (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 July 2012 20:04 (4 days ago) Permalink

what the fuck

http://www.london2012.com/athlete/roddick-andy-1133570/

Ryan Harrison

http://www.london2012.com/imgml/athletes/xl/1289049.png

hahaha what were they doing the night before these pics were taken

oh my god Bellucci

6-1 up in the TB

5 consecutive errors

then a shanked FH

then a shanked DF on SP that landed in the corner of the WRONG BOX