If anything, my shit has become ever-more-disparate in the five years since my thirtieth.
― Dr. Buzzard's® Original Banana Bread (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:50 (twelve years ago) link
Probably something I should talk to a proctologist about.
― Dr. Buzzard's® Original Banana Bread (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:51 (twelve years ago) link
i used to have this fucking awesome paul frank umbrella that, one of the big transparent ones, made of blue plastic, with some kind of monkey-based design. i was going to japan for a term and so i took it with, thinking, it's going to be the rainy season and i'll have a cute umbrella that will be different from the cute umbrellas everyone else has, it'll be awesome. and then it turned out that in japan, or at least in the town and university where i was, everyone had plain umbrellas, the transparent ones you could get in the convenience store or collapsible ones from muji. but cute character umbrellas were just... not done. so not cool.
― c sharp major, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:51 (twelve years ago) link
These let-make-everyone-feel-inadequate lists not unique to women's mags btw - the likes of Esquire and even Popular Mechanics frequently publish, say, "25 Things Every Man Needs to Know" (#1 on Esquire's list: skinning a moose. Yeah, i really need to know how to do that), or "31 Things Every Man Should Own" ("Road Atlas - the man who only uses a GPS is half a man"). Here's ''75 Skills Every Man Should Master'' (#25: "Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it"). And act your age: "Things a Man Should Never Do After the Age of 30" - (#27: "Break up with a girlfriend by e-mail").
Actually, you shouln't do that after the age of 14 ....
― Lee626, Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:04 (twelve years ago) link
let- = let's-
― Lee626, Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:06 (twelve years ago) link
why would you want to go *back to* an ex b/f if he 'reminded you how far you've come'. what horseshit.
i mean lad's mags are no better obv but .. gimme a break
― piscesx, Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:09 (twelve years ago) link
Much as I agree that this list is horseshit, I think you're misreading that one. It means two separate exes. One who you could imagine going back to. And another one who reminds you how far you've come.
― emil.y, Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:10 (twelve years ago) link
Not sure if anyone's already said so but this list is as OLD AS THE HILLS, I have seen it appear and re appear in Cosmo, newspapers, Facebook posts and so on for a long time.
And it still blows.
― fix it with like some music glue (Trayce), Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:36 (twelve years ago) link
this list is as OLD AS THE HILLS, I have seen it appear and re appear
Welp, AOL bought HuffPo for ~$365 million to provide it with more content.
― Aimless, Friday, 27 April 2012 01:26 (twelve years ago) link
30 lists every IPO buyout should publish on its website before 30 days
― fix it with like some music glue (Trayce), Friday, 27 April 2012 01:32 (twelve years ago) link
Yeah trayce I said it earlier. I have seen this list many many times. Didn't realize it at first but was then like hang on a sec!
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 27 April 2012 01:38 (twelve years ago) link
Ah sorry! I skimmed the thread before I posted that :(
― fix it with like some music glue (Trayce), Friday, 27 April 2012 01:42 (twelve years ago) link
confession: I bought the official umbrella that was used in rihanna's music video
omg this is my favourite thing about this thread by far!!!
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 27 April 2012 04:09 (twelve years ago) link
also everyone who isn't 30 yet, don't worry about being 30!!! worry more about not being an asshole in life!!!
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 27 April 2012 04:10 (twelve years ago) link
otm
― pizza pizza and cult jam (crüt), Friday, 27 April 2012 04:10 (twelve years ago) link
Worry about letting things you want to do slide without DOING THEM, you will regret it I say!!! DOnt think "I can do that later/when I have more money/when I have time". Carpe the damn diem.
― fix it with like some music glue (Trayce), Friday, 27 April 2012 04:38 (twelve years ago) link
I've done most of the man things, but I have never thrown a punch ;_;
― Meanwhile, on some cars... (Austerity Ponies), Friday, 27 April 2012 14:21 (twelve years ago) link
I threw a punch! Since I'm a woman and don't need to have done that, you can have mine.
It was a friend of my husband's at a NYE party. He lives out of Canada and always treats me like a toy when he comes home to visit? I had enough of him swatting at me for a reason I can't recall, so I punched him. He got all bent out of shape about it even though he'd pawed at me 30+ times over the course of the evening!
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, 27 April 2012 14:26 (twelve years ago) link
anyone posting here who poo-poos the Esquire list should re-read #6 and feel slightly ashamed
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Friday, 27 April 2012 14:28 (twelve years ago) link
list weak like clock radio speakers
― pandemic, Friday, 27 April 2012 14:39 (twelve years ago) link
the kiss thing only gets to me because it seems to imply that you shouldn't *have* to use your words, and that verbally expressing your desire (or lack thereof) needn't occur because -- uh, women need to be wily masters of non-verbal communication? by the time they're 30? idk, it just feel like it's the male-active vs female-passive thing again. women as subtle manipulators, men as sexual agents.
― zubaz fupa (elmo argonaut), Friday, 27 April 2012 14:40 (twelve years ago) link
men as sexual agents
this is the best job interview ever btw
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Friday, 27 April 2012 14:41 (twelve years ago) link
god forbid you want sex enough to actually say it. xp
lol dan
― zubaz fupa (elmo argonaut), Friday, 27 April 2012 14:41 (twelve years ago) link
from the man no do >30 list:
41. Use Internet acronyms, especially ROFL and LOL.
― Meanwhile, on some cars... (Austerity Ponies), Friday, 27 April 2012 14:44 (twelve years ago) link
― NSFW Australia (seandalai), Friday, 27 April 2012 14:51 (twelve years ago) link
i used to subscribe to esquire in college. i must've been insecure about my masculinity (i was). it is truly one of the worst magazines.
― Mordy, Friday, 27 April 2012 15:13 (twelve years ago) link
That's OK, nobody buys it after they are 30.
― Mark G, Friday, 27 April 2012 15:17 (twelve years ago) link
hahaha
― Meanwhile, on some cars... (Austerity Ponies), Friday, 27 April 2012 15:18 (twelve years ago) link
The only "lifestyle" magazine I ever had a subscription to was Men's Fitness, and that was solely for the workouts; once their editorial tone started shifting more towards "and here's how you should LIVE, brah" I canceled it (and then got fat, lol *sob*)
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Friday, 27 April 2012 15:22 (twelve years ago) link
I decided never to buy magazines like that after an incident when I was 17 and a guy in my class had a copy of GQ and was like "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaah this is how to be a man, snoball, betcha don't know anything about that, eh? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh?!", all the while waving it in my face, and I realised that he was just a colossal twunt and the magazine may have only been partly responsible for that, but responsible enough for me to avoid that kind of thing.
― ILX uh-huh-uh uh-huh uh-huh BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP (snoball), Friday, 27 April 2012 15:29 (twelve years ago) link
Waving the magazine in my face, I should say.
this is gonna sound obvious but all these kinds of magazines tap into real concerns ppl have about who they are and how to perform gender roles in society. i'm speaking about men's magazines bc that's my personal experience, but i imagine there are similar dynamics at play in women's magazines. rather than try to open up the discourse about what it means to a man in 2012 and some of the many possible/legitimate ways to perform maleness, magazines like esquire tap into this fantasy half-cribbed from 1950s aesthetic-fetishism and half from fratboy prolonged adolescence and then sell them to ppl as the only real standard of maleness. even when the lesson is coming from the right place (cf 'treat women with respect'), it is still backed by this reactionary incoherence ('bc a strong man needs to take care of a weak woman'). i'm not surprised young ppl have latched onto 'this is how to be a man, snoball,' bc that's what is explicitly being sold and there is not enough to counter it. see also: men's movements blah, this man's blog teaches you how to live, grantland (lulz), etc.
― Mordy, Friday, 27 April 2012 15:38 (twelve years ago) link
I flicked through a copy of "Chap" magazine this lunchtime.
What's that all about, then?
― Mark G, Friday, 27 April 2012 15:58 (twelve years ago) link
That Esquire list is seriously "Traits 1-49 of people who read Esquire", also WTF at people shouldn't play fantasy sports after 30, I mean maybe "don't talk about your fantasy team like people give a shit" but seriously like 80% of the people I know who are into fantasy are 30+
― you can expect punches, kicks and even worse (frogbs), Friday, 27 April 2012 16:09 (twelve years ago) link
My 40-something gf susbcribes to Esquire, oddly enough. I read it occasionally. I mostly skip the fashion and 'how to be a man' shit but there's occasionally a good article in it.
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Friday, 27 April 2012 16:09 (twelve years ago) link
Magazines are largely just advertisements, anyway, just less obviously so in the 'content' so I largely ignore any advice or normative stuff as being slightly less than perfectly disinterested.
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Friday, 27 April 2012 16:11 (twelve years ago) link
Here's a solid rebuttal: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/30-other-things-every-woman-should-know-by-30/
17. Be careful about confiding personal information. Relationships change.
I learned this in fifth grade! Told close friends that my parents smoke pot (which was a source of stress to me at the time) and they spent the rest of the year making fun of me for it. Kids can be assholes.
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, 27 April 2012 16:25 (twelve years ago) link
finefinemusic, I just sent you a webmail thru ilx. i don't know if you get those...
― Mordy, Friday, 27 April 2012 17:33 (twelve years ago) link
i like that thought catalog piece!
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 27 April 2012 17:34 (twelve years ago) link
even tho i don't follow all those things. but at least i don't feel shamed for it by that piece.
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 27 April 2012 17:35 (twelve years ago) link
18 is great advice on that one
― goole, Friday, 27 April 2012 17:40 (twelve years ago) link
23 is sound advice
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Friday, 27 April 2012 17:51 (twelve years ago) link
;_: I can't read that excellent advice, it's blocked for me
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Friday, 27 April 2012 17:52 (twelve years ago) link
― zubaz fupa (elmo argonaut), Friday, April 27, 2012 10:40 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Yeah, I know that's how people were reading it. I think I just read it as being in addition to, not instead of, verbal communication.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 27 April 2012 17:54 (twelve years ago) link
Good kissing is definitely an excellent form of communication
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Friday, 27 April 2012 17:55 (twelve years ago) link
gonna try to figure out how to communicate to my wife via kissing that we are almost out of toilet paper
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Friday, 27 April 2012 17:55 (twelve years ago) link
That other list is great.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 27 April 2012 17:56 (twelve years ago) link
spesh for dan, will come out unnumbered tho
Always ask for more money at your job, even if you don’t think you deserve it.Try to be kind to the people who are rude to you. It’s not personal, they’re just having a really bad day/month/life.Don’t go to doctors that advertise. Ask a friend for a recommendation.If you are hungover, drink water, eat a banana and try to sleep it off.If you believe in opportunity, opportunity will present itself.Sometimes when things are really bad, you just have to go through the motions of your life until they get better.Surround yourself by only the books, images, music and people that make you happy.Your ability to speak honestly about your weaknesses, failures and disappointments is your greatest strength.Nothing is more fulfilling than helping other people.There really are plenty of fish in the sea.Wear sunscreen or a hat when you’re in strong sunlight.You need to take the big risk, even if it scares the living crap out of you.Sometimes water is thicker than blood.Shoes that are too tight can be stretched by a shoemaker.Don’t worry about living a life that looks good on paper.Go to the gynecologist every year, even if you hate it.Be careful about confiding personal information. Relationships change.Go to events and parties and lectures you have no interest in going to.Ask yourself what you want. Then take the necessary steps to get it.Don’t stay in a bad relationship because of the anticipated misery of a breakup.When you have a headache, drink a glass of water before you do anything else. It might just be dehydration.Anyone worth having sex with should think that you’re gorgeous the way you are.When people are speaking gibberish English with a bunch of unrelated words strung together they’re usually talking about a band.Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you’re with the right person.You can have a fulfilling life without ever having kids.Do what comes naturally to you, it’s what you’ll have the most success at.Be thankful that things you wished for didn’t come true. Know that this will happen again.Let yourself be happy when you’re happy.Force yourself to overcome your fears.Remember that no one else has it figured out either.
― goole, Friday, 27 April 2012 17:58 (twelve years ago) link
When people are speaking gibberish English with a bunch of unrelated words strung together they’re usually talking about a band.
lol ILM lurker
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Friday, 27 April 2012 17:59 (twelve years ago) link
I hate all of these lists but I also hate being told what to do esp when I am already doing it and AM NOT LOOKING FOR LIFE ADVICE. So even though that list is fine, I hate it.
― two overweight dachshunds with three eyes (La Lechera), Friday, 27 April 2012 18:02 (twelve years ago) link