Invent interesting metaphors and similies for women's romantic novels.

He polled her repeatedly until she came out for Santorum.

Oh! That reminds me. I have installment 1 (subsequent installments will come from the chapters for various emotions, moving from "happiness, joy" through "anger, rage, and humiliation" and finally ending in "disappointment", just as the book does)

Just to put some boundaries on myself (hehehe), the source material is limited to
words: http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s325/mylynx/Book%202/The_Romance_Cover.jpg
images: http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7141/6594501137_66dfa8acfb.jpg

respect is paid to the winner of the sandbox poll at the end, naturally
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7023/6596082263_5be3430906.jpg

That is completely and utterly brilliant.

I like to imagine that the massive and strong hand is spinning her around by the top of the head.

thanks!

i imagined that they were swaying to and fro in a deep hypnotic state, not touching, just swaying mechanically

I'd like to hear some more about this project...?

oh, it's nothing really. i was super bored and i started a poll on the sandbox with some phrases from the above linked "romance writer's phrasebook" that i have had sitting around forever. then it became evident that one could construct an entire story from these phrases, many of which were patently awful, and i made that thing i just posted.

i've chosen some more images and i imagine that it won't be hard to make more.

fyi i used elmer's glue to attach the words to the picture (this is a scan of the actual thing)

i also intentionally chose a boring serif font and plain old printer paper for the words.

i guess the book is arranged in a way that it's like connect the dots, and everyone connects the dots in a different way, much like the way people choose to interpret the same reality in different ways irl.

i really love that the last phrase in the book is "her mind was filled with sour thoughts" -- looking forward to using that one!

also, whose hand is it? it simply says "the hand"

http://www.freewebs.com/studiocube/Link_Against_the_Master_Hand.jpg

http://notcoming.com/animation/images/trnka_hand.gif

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b1/Hand_of_Omega.jpg

http://www.iteetude.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Foam-Monster-In-Emotional-Reunion-With-Severed-Limb.jpg

http://mightyredpen.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/handfeardvd.jpg

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/192/912/OfficeDepotHand_display_image.jpg?1270711336

http://www.addamsfamily.com/addams/thing3.jpg

Amanda, i love that!

the invisible hand imo

I made another one (i think this may be lol hueg but i wanted both sets of words to be somewhat legible)
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7030/6635543553_54cb617579_b.jpg

whip some color into those cheeks!

glad this sandbox thread has been reborn

slim wild beauty

her hair was a cobweb

http://di1-1.shoppingshadow.com/images/pi/1e/fe/6d/96941463-260x260-0-0_Max+Factor+Max+Factor+Whipped+Creme+Makeup+Cafe+Ho.jpg

beckoned by soft ivory shoulders

covered in a cobweb of silvery hair

I would not be flattered if someone compared my hair to cobwebs.

You know: thin, and grey, and prone to breakage.

Full of spiders

Often found clinging to the ceiling in the corners of haunted houses.

good at trapping insects

no no these are SEXY cobwebs

they heave and beckon

and slowly turn in circles

"The tensile strength of [cobwebs are] greater than the same weight of steel and [they have] much greater elasticity."

also they are sexier

if nothing else, one must constantly wonder what Kent and Shelton were thinking when they composed these "tag" phrases

i wonder if that google books corpus could tell us if any of these more bizarre phrases have actually been used in romance novels?

Is there anything in the book like "His eyes crawled across the front of her blouse"? Because that's a good one, with the crawling eyes. Happens right before she starts spinning in circles.

there are a *lot* of romance novels

i feel confident xp

the steamy stuff is on its way, jenny, you gotta be patient.

Haha - crawling eyes as "steamy." Kind of makes you wonder whether romance authors have ever actually had sex.

iirc they don't have sex, they have sensual awakenings

i will retype the headings for the chapters about sex:

desire, attraction
touching
embracing
kisses
lovemaking

THAT'S IT

42 words for the color "brown" though!

is one of them santorum

All in the Lovemaking subchapter "Anal."

this picture is actually in the book, so
http://www.moviespad.com/photos/rick-santorum-family-0b379.jpg

i hope tuomas isn't mad at me for hogging his thread
i can move if necessary

xp I just had a stroke due to the rush of inappropriate jokes that flooded my cerebral cortex. Call 911.

this one is kind of goofy, but my favorite so far is next

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7032/6637587383_9a8b9dcdfd_z.jpg

yes
it's nice to have around the house to sweettalk the gal with

haha
may your minds be filled with sour thoughts!